Bonded
by Jinxgirl
Summary: After Dawn discovers that she is the key, a chain of events tests the bonds between her and the Slayers in a very painful way. Sequel to Comalies & Once Burned. Fuffy. Will be very, very long. AU, takes place fourth/fifth season. Messes with canon a lot.
1. Chapter 1

Bonded

Author notes: Thanks to all who read Comalies/Once Burned... and especially lupo669 and lilyme for letting me bounce ideas off you and all your suggestions.

Chapter 1

Sitting up side by side in Buffy's bed, their shoulders overlapping, the Slayers stared toward Buffy's doorway, momentarily paralyzed with the shock of what had just happened. All their sneaking and hiding, their clumsy dancing around the truth, had finally been blown in a few unguarded minutes alone… or so they had assumed.

Obviously Dawn had been listening at the door, as she and Faith talked in what they had assumed to be late-night privacy… and obviously, Buffy had been talking loudly enough that she could hear her, hear the anguished venting she had been giving Faith about Dawn and their relationship with her… a relationship that until now, Dawn had been entirely unaware of. Now, Dawn knew who… _what_- she really was…

She was the key… not truly a real person, a normal girl, as she had believed. She was mystical gathering of energy, her physical covering and human status formed by mysterious monks from the essences of Buffy and Faith… a key that could be used to open orbs, regardless of the consequences its use would render.

A key that could destroy the world… and a key that Glory would do anything to get.

Dawn knew no, at least in part, what they had been trying to protect her from knowing. There was really no telling how long she had been listening, how much she really knew and understood. But obviously it had been enough… obviously, it had been _too_ much. Not twenty seconds ago they had heard her fleeing down the hallway, a door slamming shut behind her… and they could only imagine, what she must be thinking, how she must be feeling.

"Oh my god," Buffy whispered, and her voice was barely audible, more of a hoarse whisper than anything else. "Oh my god, Faith, she knows… she _knows_…"

"B… B, calm down," Faith said quickly, and she slid an arm around the older Slayer's shoulders to give her a brief but tight squeeze. "Come on, you can't-"

But Buffy was having none of it. Her shoulders drawing together rigidly under Faith's arms, she interrupted Faith's attempt at calming her, barely even noticed it.

"Faith- Faith, she was listening, she _knows_… Faith, she _knows_, she knows what she is!" Oh god…"

Her breathing was beginning to come faster, verging on hyperventilating, and Faith, her eyes narrowing in concern, took hold of her shoulders, giving her a little shake as she looked her directly in the eyes.

"Buffy… Buffy, chill out. I know, I know this sucks, this… really sucks, but don't freak out on me, okay? Don't… freak… out. You listenin'?" she said quietly, but firmly, giving her another little shake for emphasis.

Unable to look away from Faith's very direct stare, and sucking in a slow breath, Buffy nodded slowly, shakily, biting her lip. Still watching her closely, Faith began to squeeze her shoulders more slowly, in a kneading motion, as she continued to talk to her firmly, giving Buffy a chance to pull herself together again.

"We gotta go talk to her now, B, make sure she'll understand… make sure she's okay. And you gotta be calm to do that. Okay? You cool now?" Faith asked her, giving her shoulders another quick squeeze.

Buffy took another deep breath, then let it out slowly. She could hear her heart still beating too hard, too fast in her chest to calm entirely… but then, so was Faith's, despite her only slightly anxious expression.

"Yeah, I'm… I'm okay," she said somewhat weakly, exhaling. "How are we going to do this, Faith… what are we supposed to say to her?"

"I don't know, B," Faith admitted, shrugging somewhat helplessly. "Guess we'll have to wing that one… but we gotta go now, okay? Trust me… after hearin' something like that… it's not good to be alone."

Her voice got a little softer at that, and she looked down; Buffy could tell she was thinking of something from her own past.

Taking another slow breath, and pressing her lips together tightly for a moment, Buffy nodded.

"Okay… okay, then, let's go talk to her…"

Taking hold of Faith's hand impulsively, and feeling marginally gratified when Faith squeezed it back hard, Buffy stood up, glad that they had actually worn a decent amount of clothing to bed and so would not have to change. She and Faith quickly went to the door, opening it, and just managing to miss stepping on the shards from a shattered drinking glass on the floor in front of the bedroom door. Clearly Dawn had gone for a glass of water before stopping to listen to them; the liquid was soaking into the carpet.

They went over to the doorway of Dawn's room, and Faith knocked on it, waiting for Dawn's shout for them to go away. When none came, she called out to her, still gripping Buffy's hand.

"Dawn… Dawn, let us in. We need to talk… and you know I can break the door down if I have to."

Still they received no answer; looking at Buffy briefly, Faith turned the doorknob and was startled to find it unlocked. Pushing the door open, she took a step inside with Buffy on her tail… but Dawn was not inside it.

"What? Faith, where is she-" Buffy started.

She didn't even have time to finish the sentence before she heard it… a loud crashing noise, and for the second time, the tinkling of shattering glass. It was coming from down the hallway, from what sounded like the bathroom.

"Oh shit…" Faith whispered, her eyes darkening. Before Buffy could ask her what was wrong, what she thought had happened, she was already almost sprinting out the doorway and down the hall, unconsciously dragging Buffy with her.

Buffy's stomach cramped in dread of what might have happened, what it was she about to see. Whatever it was, it had made Faith's previously together exterior fade abruptly, made her look at Buffy briefly with stark, unconcealed fear.

Reaching the bathroom door, Faith reached for the doorknob and rattled it hurriedly. Finding it to be locked, she banged on the door, not bothering to be gentle or polite this time.

"Dawn! Dawn, open the door! Open the door right now!"

There was no answer from the other side of the door… no answer of any kind. Buffy swallowed, beginning to feel sick, almost faint with the intensity of her dread. Faith must have felt it too, because she hammered on the door, hollering at Dawn hoarsely, her voice beginning to carry an edge of panic. And still she got no reply.

"B, stand back," Faith said hoarsely, and she called out to Dawn, "Dusk, I'm gonna break the door open if you don't open it in about five seconds… so if you're not gonna open it for us, you better back up."

She waited another few moments… and when Dawn still gave them no answer of any kind, she placed a well-aimed and controlled, yet forceful kick directly into the crack of the door, jarring it open wildly so that it was half hanging off its hinges. But the thought of having to hire a repairman for the umpteenth time was the last thing on Buffy's mind when she laid eyes on the scene before her.

The bathroom mirror had been broken in the corner, cracks spreading out from it, shards scattered on the sink and floor in varying sizes. From the appearance of it and the towels scattered on the floor, it seemed that Dawn had used the metal shelf the towels had been on to break the mirror.

But again, the damage to household items was not what held the girls' concern. For Dawn was slumped on the floor by the bathtub, her head bowed forward, face pale and expressionless. Her hands were limp in her cross-legged lap… and she was bleeding heavily from both arms, from cuts extending from wrist to elbow.

For several moments neither Slayer could move; they just stared at the girl before them, the girl who was so much more to them now than they had ever thought before… the girl who was now bleeding, unresponsive. The shock that came over Buffy was so total that she felt absolutely nothing… nothing at all. She was a blank… unable to move, to speak, to think. Even to breathe…

It was Faith who snapped out of it first, her breath escaping her in a loud, sharp exhalation. Darting over to Dawn's side, she snatched two towels off the floor, wrapping them hurriedly around her bleeding wrists. Buffy noticed dully that she had stepped on several shards of glass in her bare feet and was bleeding from her soles, but Faith didn't' even flinch. She probably wasn't aware of it, didn't even feel the pain in her adrenalized concern for Dawn.

"Oh shit, shit, SHIT…" she muttered fiercely, more to herself than to Dawn or Buffy. Still holding the towels firmly against Dawn's wrists, she looked right into her face, putting her own very close to Dawn's and speaking to her urgently.

"Dusk… Dusk… Dawn. _DAWN_. Look at me. Come on, _look_ at me… _listen_ to me. Don't close your eyes… come on, Dusk, _look_ at me…"

She glanced rapidly over her shoulder at Buffy, who was still standing frozen in the doorway, a coldness slowly seeping deep into her bones.

"B, go call 911. Hurry!"

But Buffy could not move, still could barely even understand that she had been spoken to. Everything seemed to move very slowly, with a thickness and bizarre quality that made her unable to comprehend any of it…

And then she was abruptly shaken out of it- at least the physically immobile aspect- by Faith's screams, by words that pounded into her ears like an assault.

"BUFFY! DAWN HAS SLIT HER WRISTS, SHE IS GOIN' TO FUCKIN' BLEED TO DEATH IF YOU DON'T FUCKIN' MOVE! GO!!"

Buffy reeled backward, reacting as though she had simultaneously been delivered a slap across the face and a blow to her stomach… and in a way, she had. But somehow she found herself going back into her bedroom, picking up the phone on her night stand and dialing 911 with all the precise, slightly unreal numbness, a calm she did not truly feel. She spoke to the woman who answered, describing the situation and giving out her address with such deliberate, measured tones that she sounded like a computer recording. And still she could not truly feel anything. It all seemed so distant, so unconnected with her, with Dawn. If she didn't think about it, maybe it 

would turn out that it was all a dream… or maybe this wasn't her at all, but some other girl. That couldn't be Dawn… Dawn would never…

But when Buffy slowly made her way back the doorway, and her eyes and ears were once more bombarded by the reality of the scene inside it, she could not convince herself that this was true. Joyce Summers had joined the group too now, driven out of her room in alarm and bewildered fear at the sound of the commotion down the hall from her bedroom. Now there was her slightly shrill attempts at calming Faith, trying to address Dawn, added to Faith's louder, increasingly frantic words to the girl hunched over before her…

But above it all, Buffy could hear Dawn's murmured words clearly. They were soft, dazed, slightly slurred as she looked up at the woman hovered over her, her eyes glazing over with shock and pain… but still Buffy heard her.

"Not real… how am I bleeding… if I'm not… real…"

And those fuzzy, barely audible words were what caused Buffy to start trembling… for it was then that she realized that it _was_ all too real, it _was_ really happening…

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It was about the time that the ambulance arrived and began asking questions, tending to Dawn and loading her into their vehicle, that the emotions of the situation as well as its reality, began to hit Buffy. Seeing total strangers tending to Dawn, taking care of her with a purpose and a calmness that she had not managed, hurt Buffy in some place deep inside her chest, made her feel that she had failed in the most important task of her life so far… the task of taking care of the girl that the world believed to be her sister.

She had not protected Dawn… she had not protected her from finding out the truth in a way that would not be a total shock to her, a devastating blow. She had not protected her from hurting herself in her emotional upheaval afterward. And now she had to entrust total strangers to protect Dawn in Buffy's stead…

The reality had sank in by then, but still, Buffy could hardly believe that this was happening.. that she had_ let_ this happen. She could not forgive herself for talking so loudly, for being so 

caught up in her own self-absorbed worrying and focusing on it so much, made Faith focus on it so much, that neither realized that Dawn was listening outside the door. And so she had heard it… she had probably heard it all. Anything that happened to her- anything that Dawn did to herself now in reaction- was all Buffy's fault.

God… the last thing that Dawn had heard her say was that she could destroy the world… and soon after, Dawn had tried to destroy herself. The blame couldn't be any more directly pointing at Buffy then from that example.

Standing back, out of the paramedics' way in the hallway as they took a pale, barely conscious Dawn down the stairs, Buffy was very still, very quiet. She could barely even hear anything going on around her, anything but the sound of her own too-rapid heartbeat, her own slightly ragged breaths. The emotions were flickering through her rapidly now… guilt, self-disgust, anxiety, despair… but mostly fear. She feared for Dawn, and what she might feel because she did not yet understand.

A hand touched her cheek gently, but quickly, and Buffy turned her head hurriedly to see into her mother's anxious eyes. Joyce tried to give her a reassuring smile, but it went strange and forced at the corners of her mouth.

"Sweetie, I'm going to ride with her in the ambulance to the hospital. You and Faith can meet us there, but I'm afraid you'll probably have to wait in the waiting room. Whichever one of you drives, please be careful, honey…"

She gave Buffy a quick, tight hug, touching her cheek briefly again as she tried to smile.

"I love you, sweetheart."

She disappeared after the paramedics, and for a few seconds Buffy remained leaned limply against the wall, staring after her. She could still feel her mother's touch, still see Dawn's dazed, unfocused eyes, the blood-soaked towels at her small wrists, even though both were now out of her sight.

Another hand rested itself quickly yet firmly on her, this time her shoulder, and Buffy turned to see Faith, having finally emerged from the bathroom to come up beside her. Her face was 

strained, unusually pale, her dark eyes glittering with an anxious, angry adrenaline Buffy couldn't quite understand. The younger Slayer looked like she wanted to hurt someone, or something… if only herself. Ordinarily Buffy would have realized that this was Faith's way of dealing with her distress, by covering it with anger. But this evening she just stared blankly at her, not able to make this conclusion.

"Come on, B, let's go," she said roughly. "We can get there the same time, I bet. I know all too fuckin' well where the hospital in Sunnydale is."

Again, Buffy was too preoccupied to make mental connections with what Faith was saying. She simply nodded, following after her as Faith almost ran through the hall and down the stairs before finally reaching Buffy's car outside. When she jumped into the driver's side and cranked up the engine, Buffy didn't protest. She had barely slid into her own seat and shut the door before Faith was racing out of the driveway, mere seconds after the ambulance.

She drove again as though there was no such thing as road rules or a speed limit, and in fact nearly beat the ambulance to the Sunnydale Hospital that both were all too well acquainted with. Buffy did not so much as blink at Faith's driving, nor her loud, frequent profanities and ranting that she could have taken Dawn to the hospital much faster by herself, in Buffy's car, then the paramedics had in theirs. Buffy just let it roll over her as almost meaningless background noise, and gave into listening to the parade of stresses running through her mind.

As Joyce had predicted, the hospital instructed Buffy and Faith, even when told they were sisters of the patient and over eighteen (a double lie in Faith's case) to wait in the waiting room until more could be told about the situation to them. Joyce, as Dawn's mother, was allowed to go in with her and the doctors. She had taken one of the older girls' hands into each of hers and given them a quick squeeze, promising to come tell them what was going on as soon as she was able to.

And then Buffy and Faith were left to sit nearly entirely alone in the hospital waiting room in the middle of the night, clinching hands tightly and yet barely able to feel the other girl's touch.


	2. Chapter 2

Bonded

Chapter 2

Nearly twenty minutes had passed since Buffy and Faith had sat down in the waiting room, waiting to hear news of Dawn. All this time they had sat close together on two of the hard plastic-seated chairs, holding hands so tightly that Buffy was beginning to feel a dull throbbing in her fingers, working its way up her arm. In those twenty minutes they had spoken perhaps four words each, and for the last ten they had said nothing at all. Neither felt for some time that they could say anything that would make any sense or that they would not later regret. Both knew that nothing they said would change what had happened, what they had seen- and what Dawn had done.

At first Buffy was hardly aware of anything outside her own emotions, the dark thoughts of accusation and fear running through her head. She kept picturing the broken mirror, the broken glass in the hall, the broken door hanging off its hinges. She kept seeing Faith's wild-eyed, frantic fury as she screamed at Buffy to call 911, her mother's slack-faced shock, Dawn's blank eyes and bleeding wrists. She kept hearing the noise from the siren of the ambulance, Faith's swearing, the stress in her mother's voice… and Dawn's almost dreamy near whisper as she asked them how she could possibly be bleeding when she wasn't real…

Over and over they ran through her mind until they were clashing together, a confusing blur of noise and sights that made her eyes ache and temples throb… even though Buffy knew she wasn't really seeing or hearing anything at all. When Buffy finally drew in a sharp breath, sneaking a glance over at Faith, she saw that the younger girl looked as if she too were fighting some inner battle, some tormenting of her mind and memory. Faith's face was pulled tightly, her shoulders drawn together, and Buffy knew distantly that her muscles would be hard to the touch.

The two were still clad in the boxers and tight-fitting, braless tank tops they had gone to bed in, with their feet having been hastily shoved into flip-flops while running out the door. Between her skimpy attire and the blasting of the waiting room's air conditioning, Buffy was beginning to feel chilly, goosebumps rising on her arms and legs.

As soon as she thought this she saw Faith shiver out the corner of her eye; the brunette must have been cold too. She looked so stressed to Buffy when Buffy glanced at her again, almost angry… and yet, she also looked somehow very vulnerable.

Without thinking about it any further, Buffy burrowed against Faith's side, wrapping her arms around her waist and leaning her head against her, seeking warmth from her, but moreover seeking comfort. Faith stiffened slightly, seeming startled by Buffy's move, but she put an arm 

around her slowly, pulling her even closer against her. Buffy's throat tightened, and she breathed out shallowly against Faith's upper chest, trying not to cry.

"I'm so scared for her, Faith," she whispered, her voice smaller, younger than usual. Buffy could not remember a time before when she had felt so helpless, like such a failure. She had concentrated so hard on the problem of protecting Dawn from others that would harm her that she hadn't bothered to protect her from herself. She hadn't bothered to think that she might have to protect Dawn from _her_… or from Dawn.

She heard Faith sigh, the sound heavy, stirring Buffy's hair under her face, and Faith put a hand to Buffy's head, not stroking or patting it so much as resting her hand there.

"It'll be okay, B. She's gonna be okay. It's just stitches and all… she ain't gonna die or nothin'."

Now, was the unspoken word Buffy heard and knew Faith had meant. Dawn wasn't going to die _now_… but she could have. If Faith hadn't broken down the door, if she had froze up like Buffy had and just gawked like an idiot, Dawn very well could have… and though neither said so, both thought it, both knew it was true.

"No, it's not, Faith, it's not okay, it's not gonna be okay," Buffy protested weakly, and she blinked fiercely, hearing her voice shake as she wrapped her arms even more tightly around Faith. "She tried to kill herself, Faith… she was going to kill herself. She heard what I said, and she was going to kill herself. This… this is my fault. What… what Dawn did, what she was going to do, it's all my fault…"

"No it's not, B-" Faith started, but Buffy interrupted, her words coming faster, more choked now.

"Yes it is, Faith, I know it is! I was the one who said it, I was the one who said she was going to destroy the world! I always do this, I never freakin' shut up, I just go on and on and on until I hurt people with it! I did it with you, now I'm doing it with Dawn, and I never-"

"B, speakin' of the runnin' on and on and not keepin' your voice down so that people overhear stuff… we ARE in public. In a hospital. And there ARE people within three miles of us," Faith pointed out somewhat edgily, and her not-so-subtle hint only set Buffy off again.

"See, I'm doing it again, what the hell is the matter with me?! Why can't I freaking STOP it, why do I DO this-"

"B- come on, B, she would've found out anyway, she was already knowin' we were up to somethin' or she wouldn't have been listenin' at the doorway-" Faith tried again, but Buffy was not about to let her finish a sentence. Squeezing Faith harder than ever around her waist, with enough pressure to break the ribs of a normal girl, she rushed on, her words so fast and choked from her rising tears that she was barely understandable.

"Not like that- she shouldn't have found out like that, we should have told her! We shouldn't have… I shouldn't have let them…"

Her words drifted off as she began to cry, her shoulders heaving with her muffled sobs. Buffy hid her face against Faith's chest as she cried, feeling so completely useless and weak, in a way she had not felt in a long, long time… probably, not since she had first met and been mocked by Angelus, after having her first- and last- experience of sex with Angel. Angelus had hit her where she was vulnerable, temporarily depleted her of her usually steely inner strength and determination. Seeing Dawn as she had, knowing that her careless words were the cause of her condition, had had the same effect on her now, and Buffy gave herself over to her emotions.

She subconsciously expected Faith to try and comfort her, to continue to soothe her. At the least she expected her to hold her until she stopped crying, to give her the nonverbal reassurance Faith herself preferred.

What she didn't expect was for Faith to take her by the shoulders harshly and force her body to move apart from hers. She didn't' expect Faith to continue to hold her by the shoulders tightly, staring directly into her face with an anger and intensity that made Buffy stare back at her in shock- for Faith's anger was clearly directed at HER.

"Listen to me, B," Faith said tightly, her words a fierce hiss as she put her face close to Buffy's, her fingers digging into the smaller girl's shoulders tightly. "You need to pull yourself together, and you need to do it right fuckin' now. You cannot DO this, do you understand me? You cannot BE like this. So Dawn heard us- so she freaked out and hurt herself pretty bad. That sucks, and I hate it- I hate that she feels that shitty, that she would do that to herself. I wish we could've done somethin' to stop her. I wish we could've done somethin' to stop her. But we didn't, and you've gotta quit actin' like wishin' is gonna change it. Do you think you're gonna help her any by bein' a fuckin' basket case? You think that's gonna make anything better, or different- you think that's gonna make HER better? No! No, it fuckin' well won't!"

She stopped herself for a few moments, starting to back off. Gentling her hold on Buffy's shoulders, as if she were just realizing how aggressively she was behaving, Faith moved her face back a little from the smaller Slayer's, closing her eyes for a few seconds and drawing in a slow breath. When she opened them again Buffy could tell, even through her astonishment at Faith's words, that she was trying to stay calmer, quieter.

"Look, B… I get that you're upset. But you can't do this. You can't fall apart like this… at least, not now. It happened, and we've gotta deal with it… we've gotta help Dawn deal with it."

For several moments Buffy just looked at her, the words she wanted to say to her disappearing to be replaced with new ones every few seconds. Her emotions and inner reactions to Faith's words fluctuated rapidly from upset to flabbergasted, hurt to angry… she was torn between desires to argue and defend herself, to hit Faith, and to cry.

After a few moments of speechless staring at Fait has her emotions rolled through her midsection, Buffy finally noticed the worry in her eyes, coexisting strongly with her frustration and anger. Startled to see it there, to realize that it was every bit as present even if she did not quite show it in her words and tone, Buffy began to think about Faith's behavior with her in a new light.

Faith was stressed and upset too- she just showed it differently. And she was right…the way Buffy was showing it- the way she was behaving- was not helpful for anyone, but especially not Dawn. Maybe she hadn't told Buffy so in a manner she preferred- but maybe in the manner she had needed to hear it. Faith was right- they couldn't fall apart now, when Dawn needed them more than ever. SHE couldn't. She was Buffy Summers- she was and she would be strong enough to deal with this. But moreover, she was Dawn's sister… well, sort of.

Buffy took a deep breath slowly, then swiped at her eyes, sniffing, as she deliberately brought herself back under control. She could feel Faith's eyes on her and looked up after a few moments, attempting a weak smile at her.

"You're right, Faith… I'm sorry," she said quietly, swallowing her pride as she thought of what was needed from her rather than what she wanted or felt like doing. "When… when we can see Dawn… we'll make her understand. She'll… she's going to be okay… isn't she? And I'm okay too- I won't freak out on you again."

Faith's expression softened, her grip on Buffy loosening even further, and the relief that crossed her eyes was so intense, completely tossing out her remaining irritation, that Buffy thought for a moment that the other Slayer was going to cry. Watching her, Buffy realized with a sudden empathy for her that Faith had been even more worried for her than she had realized- maybe almost as scared for her as she was for Dawn.

"Good," Faith said quietly, looking into her lover's serious hazel eyes. "'Cause… 'cause you had me scared there for a minute, B, I thought you were gonna give up on me here or somethin'…"

Letting her words trail off, she pulled Buffy suddenly into a tight embrace, resting her head on her shoulder. Surprised, but not about to reject her offer, Buffy hugged her back, closing her eyes and savoring the feel of Faith's solid warmth so close to her. She could feel Faith's slow, deliberate breaths against her, could feel her formerly tensed body slowly loosening up, her stress beginning to ebb partly out of her muscles until she was almost normal, if not relaxed, to the touch. To her surprise, the longer Buffy held her, attempting to give as well as seek out comfort and calm, the more she herself began to feel it.

They did not speak for several minutes, but merely soaked up each other's embrace; when Faith did finally speak, her words were almost hushed.

"It's gonna be okay, B… you're right, we're gonna help her. She's gonna be okay."

Buffy just nodded, swallowing against a small lump rising in her throat and forcing it back down. She ran a hand over Faith's hair, realizing dimly how disheveled it was, how she herself must look. The bored lady behind the windowed desk of the waiting room had started looking at them when Buffy started talking. Now she was outright staring at them, but they didn't care; they hardly even noticed.

When the two finally pulled apart from each other slightly, still keeping their arms loosely about each other, Buffy reached to touch Faith's face with a tender hand. She caressed her face gently before a sudden thought struck her, and she pulled away from her a little more.

"Your feet, baby… don't they hurt? Are they still bleeding?"

Faith looked at her, startled, then down at her feet, seeming almost embarrassed to call attention to them.

"They're alright, I didn't even notice 'em hurtin' at all until a few minutes ago," she said a bit reluctantly. "I didn't know you even noticed, _I_ sure didn't-"

"Here, let me look at them," Buffy insisted, and she knelt before Faith, reaching to take off her shoes. But before she could do so Joyce Summers entered the waiting room through the double doors to the inside of the hospital, and Buffy's concern for Faith's feet was immediately forgotten as her heart leapt with a combination of anticipation and dread at her mother's words.


	3. Chapter 3

Bonded

Chapter 3

"Mom," Buffy said hurriedly, jumping to her feet as her mother entered the waiting room, and Faith did the same with more difficulty. "What's going on, how is she? What are they saying?"

Coming over to the girls, Joyce's face was weary, her eyes slightly shadowed, and Buffy's heart twisted to see this. Nevertheless, Joyce tried to smile for her reassuringly before pulling Buffy into a hug. Buffy hugged her back fiercely, closing her eyes as she fought back the alarm attempting to rise in her again. Apparently her returning hug was a little too fierce, because Joyce let out a little gasp.

"Buffy, sweetheart, ease up a little… my ribs can't take your hugs the way Faith's can," Joyce said a bit breathlessly, and Buffy loosened up her hold immediately, her eyes widening.

"I'm sorry, Mom- really, I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"

"I know you didn't, honey," Joyce cut her off, squeezing her around the waist gently. She turned back toward Faith, who was standing a bit awkwardly yet anxiously behind them, and took hold of her wrist. Pulling her closer to her, Joyce gently tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, letting her hand linger on her while still holding her daughter loosely in her other arm.

Faith smiled slightly, the returning apprehension in her eyes softening. Joyce ran her hand over her hair again, squeezing her shoulder before speaking again and releasing Buffy so that she could look at them both.

"Dawn is going to be all right, girls… she's in stable condition, and more coherent now. She even asked me to leave the room; she's being evaluated by a psychologist right now."

On one hand, Buffy breathed a sigh of relief; Dawn was going to be okay, physically. But on the other hand…

"A shrink?" Faith blurted out, her voice showing her anxiety. "She's gonna see a shrink?"

"But she's not crazy!" Buffy protested indignantly, even as a part of her asked herself with sickening slyness if this were really true. "She _isn't_ crazy… she just… we…"

"That's just something they're required to do, honey," Joyce assured them both quickly. "When… when girls are brought in for doing things like Dawn did… they have to evaluate their mental state. They want to give her the kind of care and protection she may need, and so they have to see first what her needs are. They… they also ask her questions about herself and her life, to determine why she might have done such a thing…"

Here Joyce hesitated, clearly not wanting to finish her sentence. When she finally did, her voice was very soft. "Or if she has been driven to such behaviors by abuse."

Neither Buffy nor Faith spoke for several moments, still taking in Joyce's words, trying to adjust themselves to them where they didn't' seem such a shock. Buffy's heart began to pound, and she swallowed, her temples beginning to feel strained.

"But Mom… what if she says something to them… something that makes them think we _did_ abuse her, or that she _is_ crazy?" Buffy said quietly, trying to keep her voice calm and hearing it shake even so. "They can't take her away from us- we couldn't let them do that. You know that…"

"We wouldn't," Faith spoke up, her jaw clinched, "we just wouldn't, we'd take her away before that would ever happen."

"Girls," Joyce interrupted, and she put a hand on each of them, attempting once more to calm them. "I don't think we should worry about that right now. Even… even right now, when she's upset, Dawn's already growing calmer. I think she'll be smart enough and wise enough to figure out what and what not to say to the psychiatrist. And if not… well, then Faith is right. The two of you would find a way to bring her back to us."

Keeping her hands on them, she looked between the two of them as her voice grew lower.

"Now, I don't want you launching into full detail, because of where we are right now… but I do want to know what happened tonight. From what Dawn said earlier, I got the impression that… that she knew. And that this is what upset her. Did… did you two tell her? How did this happen?"

Joyce's voice was still very calm, very in control… the problem was that it was a little too much so. There was a steely glint in her eyes, a slight edge to her face, that made it clear to them both that she probably already anticipated- and was very displeased with- their response.

Buffy and Faith glanced at each other furtively, tensing under her hands. They could no longer avoid telling her when she had asked outright… as much as they dreaded doing so, dreaded her reaction, they knew that they would have eventually had to tell her anyway.

Already cringing, the guilt returning full force, Buffy opened her mouth- but Faith beat her to the punch with a fast glance at her. From her hurried words and frequent looks shot at Buffy, it was quickly apparent to the older Slayer that she was sharing the blame with her, not letting her take it entirely upon herself.

"Uh… Dawn, she, we, were talkin', and she was sorta nearby when we didn't know it, and we kinda said some stuff…"

"No, it… it wasn't really _we _talking," Buffy interrupted her reluctantly, finding herself unwilling to let Faith take equal blame with her- even as she saw her mother's eyes narrow, and new lines appear in her forehead. Giving Faith a look that told her to be quiet, Buffy turned toward her mother, exhaling slowly and somewhat nervously licking her lips.

"Um… yeah, like I said, it wasn't really we talking. It was mostly me. Almost entirely me," Buffy admitted, making herself meet her mother's eyes, making her voice remain steady. "I… I was talking about Dawn, and… and what she is… and I guess I was too loud… and…and she heard us. Me. She heard me."

For a few moments Joyce was very still…. And that scared Buffy more than any yelling or explosions she could have carried out instead. She didn't know what her mother was thinking, what she was going to do, and she could feel her stomach twist with nervous guilt upon watching her.

When Joyce spoke to her, her voice was still very deliberate and precise. She looked directly into Buffy's eyes, and Buffy desperately wanted to cringe away from her gaze.

"Exactly what did you say that she overheard, Buffy? Does she know… everything? How were you speaking- in what manner?"

"Mrs. S," Faith spoke up suddenly, and Buffy could hear the tinge of anxiety in her tone, see it in her eyes. "Mrs. S, Buffy didn't know Dawn was around. We were talkin', and we weren't payin' attention to anything else, so we didn't hear her. If we knew she was around, we wouldn't have-"

"I know, Faith," Joyce interrupted her evenly, glancing her way briefly, her gaze lightening up only slightly as she turned her eyes toward the younger Slayer, who was quickly growing upset. "I realize that this was not intentional- but I would like to know what was said all the same."

Hearing the firm resolve in her mother's tone, seeing it in her eyes as they turned back toward her, Buffy swallowed again, very aware of her pulse rate. Then again, she deserved this… whatever her mother's reaction might be, she had earned it.

"I… I think she heard everything, or almost everything," she said quietly, not quite able to meet her mother's eyes. "We- I was talking about everything- everything," she said with more emphasis, so Joyce would know what she was referring to. "I said about what she is… and… Glory. And what she wants her for… I said what's she's used for, and…"

Her voice lowered, grew smaller, and she bit her lip, blinking quickly, before going on.

"She knows everything, Mom… everything."

For a minute as Buffy snuck glances at her mother almost fearfully, gauging her reaction, she was certain she was going to explode. Her face tightened even further, her lips thinning, the lines in her brow deepening. Her hands on Buffy's and Faith's upper backs pressed harder, her fingers stiff, and as Buffy slid her eyes quickly towards Faith, she saw that her girlfriend was biting her lip, her eyes downcast- obviously dreading Joyce's reaction as well.

Looking at her, Buffy was suddenly reminded that before the past year- or perhaps just the past few months- Faith had had good reason to fear the anger of parental figures. But surely she couldn't think that Joyce would ever behave that way towards her… could she?

Or maybe that wasn't it at all… maybe, like Buffy, she didn't fear Joyce's anger, so much as her disgust.

But just when Buffy fully expected the yelling to start in, the anger to come spilling out, public hospital waiting room or not, Joyce began to slowly, visibly calm herself. Taking a deep breath, she smoothed her face out, deliberately relaxing her hands against the girls before taking them off of them altogether. Looking first at Faith, then Buffy, she addressed them both very directly, but it was mostly Buffy that her words applied to.

"I could get angry at you right now," she said slowly, her voice as measured and deliberate as her gaze. "I could tell you that you were careless, that I'm disappointed that you would not be more discreet when you knew what a shock such a knowledge would be, were she to find out inadvertently. I could say a lot to you about responsibility… and I suppose in a way I just did. But," she finished up softly, looking from one girl to the other with a slightly me gentle expression. "I'm not going to go on and on about any of that right now, because I have a feeling that you girls have been telling yourself since this happened more than covers it. I think that seeing what's happened must hurt you and punish you more than anything I could even think of saying or doing to you. So I'm just going to tell you now that what's been done cannot be changed, and we all might as well accept it and make amends with what we can."

She put a hand on Buffy's face then, meeting her eyes once more. When Faith dropped her eyes, her shoulders hunching in on themselves, Joyce reached with her other hand to touch her face as well, turning it so that she had to look at her.

"I know you're sorry," she said quietly. "Nothing I say to either of you is going to help anything. It's what you two say to Dawn when you see her again that will."

Both Buffy and Faith swallowed, then, breathing out shakily with a combination of relief, shame, gratitude, and guilt in reaction to Joyce's words. Buffy blinked furiously against her urge to cry, and she saw through slightly blurry eyes that Faith was blinking as well.

"Mom-" she started hoarsely, and in the same moment Faith said, "Mrs. Summers-", but Joyce cut them both off, dropping her hands to their shoulders again.

"You can't see her today, girls- at least, not tonight. She doesn't want you, to be honest, and the hospital would also like us to stay away a while so they can evaluate her. I've called Rupert to come here, and when he comes, I want you to go home. No class for you today, Buffy, and no patrols for either of you. Not as a punishment, but because I don't want to worry about either of you getting hurt or doing something silly because you're upset. Just… try to rest… call your 

friends if you want to… but let me ask you to do something. Don't tell them… about what Dawn is… until you've talked to her first. Okay?" she said, looking from one girl to another.

They nodded, softly telling her okay, and she squeezed their shoulders gently.

"Good. You'll probably be able to see her tomorrow- well, later today, perhaps the afternoon. Either way, I'll call and let you know. But until then, let's just sit down, all right?"

She sat in the chair that Buffy had been sitting in, with a sudden abruptness that showed Buffy a more clear and somewhat startling indication of how tired and upset she really was. Buffy sat in the chair that Faith had been in beside her, leaving Faith to take the further chair next to her. As she moved towards it, limping noticeably now, Joyce's eyes opened a bit wider with concern.

"Faith, are you hurt? You're limping, honey."

Faith glanced down at her feet once more, seeming to be pretending that she didn't' know what Joyce was talking about, or as if she had just noticed that they were in pain. Which Buffy knew perfectly well was not true. Feigning casual unconcern, she shrugged, sitting quickly.

"It's nothin', Ms. Summers, no big deal."

"Yeah, it is something, Faith, you cut your feet up. I completely forgot when Mom came in, I'm sorry, baby," Buffy remembered somewhat guiltily, turning towards her and leaning as if to start taking off her shoes.

"Cut her feet up? Did you step on glass?" Joyce asked, turning more fully towards her as well with a little frown.

Embarrassed by all the attention over what she obviously thought of- or wanted them to think of- as a minor injury, Faith pushed Buffy's hands away.

"I told you, it's five by five. Be healed by the end of the day- I'll look at it at the house."

"Faith, honey, it's always best to look at and treat injuries right away, especially cuts and other open wounds- and especially on places like your feet, where it's very easy for germs to get in," Joyce admonished her gently. "You don't want a staph infection, do you? So why don't you let me at least take a look, okay?"

Without waiting for an answer or even acting as if she expected that there could be any other than yes, Joyce knelt on the floor beside Faith, carefully removing her left shoe. As she took Faith's foot onto her lap, turning it over so she could see its sole, her eyebrows shot up rapidly. Leaning to look for herself, Buffy's eyes widened.

There were about four or five cuts on the bottom of Faith's foot, blood drying around them; two looked nasty, fairly deep, and one still had a small shard of glass embedded in it. There was blood on the bottom of her shoes where her foot had been, and as Joyce quickly removed her other shoe for her, she saw that, though this foot had only two cuts, another sliver of glass was stuck in each of them, driven in deeply from her walking about.

Faith cringed at Joyce's gentle touch and concerned eyes, not so much from physical pain as from mental discomfort at her sympathy and care. She had been more than willing to simply act like she was completely uninjured- probably especially in light of Dawn's injuries and their cause. But with Joyce looking at her feet now, holding them on her lap, it was kind of difficult for her to be able to say anything.

"God, Faith!" Buffy blurted, the shock in her voice coming through clearly. "You didn't' tell me there was half the mirror stuck in your feet! And you didn't _feel_ that?!"

"It's not that bad," Faith said somewhat defensively, "it'll be gone by tomorrow."

"Well let's make sure of that by taking care of them, okay, honey?" Joyce said, reaching to squeeze Faith's knee in a motherly fashion. "Buffy, could you go ask the lady at the desk for some tweezers, antiseptic, and also get some wet paper towels from the bathroom? We're going to do this right here, Faith- you don't need to be walking around anymore until we've fixed you up."

"I've got a first aid kit in my car, it'll have all that and a lot of other stuff too," Buffy said a bit anxiously, looking from her mother to Faith to Faith's feet. "Should I go get that?"

"Yes, I think that would be best, Buffy. Your feet aren't cut too, are they?" Joyce asked her suddenly, her eyes narrowing.

Buffy didn't think they were, but she found herself glancing down at her feet anyway as she replied in the negative. As she hurried to her car in the parking lot, she was still picturing Faith's feet in her mind. For her not to have felt any pain from them until a few minutes ago, when with each step she was pushing shards of glass more deeply into her feet… she must have been as in shock as Buffy had been, if only in a different manner.

When Buffy had retrieved her first aid kid from the car and returned to the hospital waiting room with it, her mother had sat in the chair beside Faith, pulling her feet into her lap from there. As Buffy sat beside her, first handing her mother the kit, she instinctively reached for Faith's hand, meaning to hold it as a distraction and comfort while Joyce worked on her. She was glad when Faith squeezed her hand, leaning back towards her slightly so that her back was almost propped up against Buffy's side. Buffy wanted to put her arms around her, but she made herself give Faith some distance, just in case she only got more embarrassed or uncomfortable by such an action in such a time and place.

Joyce worked carefully but quickly, and she had already pulled out the glass shards and was disinfecting the cuts left when Giles finally showed up. He looked very disheveled, and his eyes were much wider than usual behind his glasses with his anxiety. He immediately began to apologize as he made his way over to them, not seeming to notice Faith's feet in Joyce's lap.

"I'm terribly sorry, Joyce, I came as quickly as I could, but there was an accident on Fifth Boulevard and it was a nightmare attempting to maneuver around it… I'm terribly sorry. How is she, have you been allowed to see her?"

His eyes finally drifted down to Faith, and he blinked, seeming startled at the sight of her feet even without the glass shards and majority of blood from before. Before he could say anything, Faith spoke up, her voice hoarser than usual, approaching weariness.

"It's five by five, G, Ms. S had me covered. Don't sweat it."

"Yes… quite…" Giles muttered, not seeming to have a response to that and deciding to just let it go. His eyes moved from Faith to Buffy, seeming to be gauging their states of mind as well now, before they went back to Joyce.

"How are you holding up- are you-"

"Dawn's doing okay," Joyce said softly, and Buffy had seen her face flash intense relief when she caught sight of Giles, if not quite happiness; she had much of this still flickering in her eyes as she looked up at him. "And the rest of us are hanging in here."

Rubbing Faith's ankle for a second in the manner of a mother patting a young child, she transferred her feet to Buffy's lap, having to swing Faith's body around to do so. Standing up, Joyce went to Giles and was instantly engulfed in his embrace. Watching them, Buffy was not disgusted or uncomfortable, as she usually would have been; instead, she swallowed, feeling a pang of sadness strike hard in her chest. She was glad her mother had someone there for her…

Her feet were still resting in Buffy's lap, and Buffy felt Faith lean into her with her body as well, hesitantly resting against her; it seemed that she was questioning with her cautious movements if this were okay, especially in light of her telling Buffy to pull herself together earlier. Buffy wrapped an arm tight around her in response, holding her to her hard. Any kind of comforting touch was more than welcome to her right then, and especially one from Faith.

They left for home soon after, with the insistence of both Joyce and Giles. They knew that the adults were telling them to do so because they felt that there was no reason for them to stay, that leaving would be best for them mentally and emotionally- but they also knew they probably wanted time to talk and be together alone. The girls could not sleep, as they'd suggested, of course. The best they could do was huddle together on the couch, seeking reassurance from each other as they waited for the morning, when they'd have to talk to their friends… and to Dawn.


	4. Chapter 4

Bonded

Author notes: I know, I know, nothing happens… I swear that they'll talk to Dawn next chapter though. With this I'm trying to establish a lot of different character dynamics for future events.

Chapter 4

"You shouldn't have done it, you know."

Buffy glanced over at Faith, startled by the softness of her voice as much as her words. The two were still sitting together on the couch, waiting for a phone call from Joyce- or rather, they had returned to sitting on the couch. Not too long ago Faith had jumped up and started pacing, unable to take the sitting-still-and-waiting any longer- especially since she was under no-patrol orders, and it was daylight now anyway. Buffy had let her for a while before she had remembered her probably still painful feet, and observed how Faith's pacing seemed to get faster, not doing anything to calm her.

At that point she had stood and walked with her, not touching her yet, but making her notice her presence, making her slow down and keep pace with her. When Faith seemed to have calmed a little, Buffy had let her back to the couch, putting her arm around her and drawing her back to her side.

They lay there now, Faith still leaning back against Buffy in her arms, letting her hold her, though her body was not relaxed. And as quiet as her voice had been when she spoke to Buffy, there was nearly as much tension in as in her body.

"Shouldn't have done what?" Buffy asked her, rubbing a hand up and down Faith's bare arm. IT was a few moments before Faith answered, her voice still quiet, but carrying a slight edge to it now.

"You shouldn't have told your mom that you were the only one to blame for Dawn. You weren't, B… and I don't like you tryin' to shove it off from me where I deserve it."

Buffy looked down at her in surprise, stilling her hand on Faith's shoulder as she frowned. "But it _wasn't_ your fault, Fai… and you _don't_ deserve it. I was just being honest. I didn't want her getting mad at you when it was me doing it. I couldn't do that."

"But you were wrong," Faith said shortly, and she was almost snapping now, her muscles stiffening further against Buffy. "You weren't the only one talkin', I was too- I said stuff too. I didn't tell you to stop, I didn't bother bein' careful- I encouraged you. And I didn't hear her either… I didn't know she was there."

Her voice had been growing progressively more fierce as she went on, and Buffy realized quickly that it was not Buffy she was really angry at, so much as herself. Her voice dropped low suddenly at her last sentence, and when she went on, her voice grew small, strong contrast to her earlier tone that clearly showed her confliction of emotion.

"I didn't know she was there, B… it was my fault too. You can't take that away from me, you can't tell your mom and Giles that it isn't there, 'cause it is. Dawn overhearing us… Dawn doin' what she did… is my fault just as much as yours. I should never have let you tell them it wasn't. And whether you like it or not I 'm gonna tell them that."

Looking down into her eyes, Buffy could tell from their determined glinting that there was no point in arguing with her. She believed what she was saying, and nothing would convince her otherwise. But along with the firm resolve was a sadness and guilt as well that Faith could not fully conceal.

Buffy wanted to find a way to take that look out of her eye, to kiss her until it faded, to assure her that none of it was her fault… but Faith was right. She couldn't do that to her, couldn't dismiss her guilt and convictions when they were obviously important to her. And maybe Buffy _was_ wrong, to try to do so before…maybe, even if she herself thought only she was to blame, it wasn't fair of her not to let Faith do as she felt she should too.

She hugged Faith against her tighter, kissing her lips quickly.

"I'm sorry, Fai… I won't do it again. I'll let you speak for yourself, okay? It's just… I know that I've been acting weak, that I've been behaving pathetically, and I just… I wanted to fix that, I wanted to take charge like I'm supposed to, take responsibility instead of freezing up or freaking out like I have been. I'm sorry if you feel like I stripped you of yours by doing that…"

Faith sighed slightly, then leaned her head against Buffy, pulling Buffy's arm more tightly around her chest. Buffy shivered at the closer contact and with pleasure that Faith seemed to be relaxing against her again.

"It's five by five," she said finally, and though her words were slow in coming, Buffy was relieved that it sounded like she meant them. Giving her another squeeze, then a slightly longer kiss- gentle, no tongue, which Faith returned, closing here eyes- Buffy finally pulled back a little, giving her a slightly stern look.

"You've got something to answer to too, Faith. Why didn't you tell me about your feet?"

Faith shrugged, a little defensiveness quickly returning to her eyes. "I didn't even notice 'em for a while, okay, I told you. And it wasn't exactly a big deal compared to Dawn- they were nothin'."

"Fai, they _weren't_ nothing. There was glass stuck in your feet in three different places," Buffy said very quietly, trying to keep her voice calm and even, to not put her even further on the defensive by sounding upset or angry. She wasn't angry… she was worried. For Faith to block out entirely, then ignore once aware of such pain, was not healthy. Even for a Slayer with a high pain tolerance, what Faith had done was far from normal.

"Yeah, and they're out now, so it's okay. No big deal," Faith retorted, but Buffy heard the tension in her voice, felt it in her muscles once more. Squeezing her again quickly, she ran a hand over Faith's hair, trying to calm her again.

"I'm not mad at you, baby, I'm concerned. It _was_ a big deal… and the only reason the glass is out of your feet right now is because Mom insisted on looking at them," Buffy said softly, continuing to stroke Faith's hair.

"I would have taken it out," Faith said stubbornly, not willing to concede to Buffy's point- or at least trying to make it seem like she wasn't. "Eventually."

She tried to pull away from Buffy then, but the blonde held her by the shoulder, making her look at her.

"I don't want to argue with you, Faith," she told her. "We're both tired and worried and upset over Dawn, and I don't want to fight with you now. I don't want to fight with you ever. But I do want you to hear me on this. I heard you out on what you said to me, even though I didn't like it, because I knew it was important to you. Well this is important to me, Faith. I love you, and I want you to be okay- to be safe. So will you please listen to me?"

Faith hesitated, her eyes narrowing, but then they softened slightly. When she finally exhaled, nodding slowly, Buffy sighed, more relieved than she had realized.

"Okay. Good. I'm not trying to nag you or make a big deal out of nothing… but some things aren't nothing, Faith. You've got to take care of yourself- you could have really damaged your foot, severed nerves or tendons or something. I know you didn't feel it at first- and that scares me enough as it is- but when you did start to feel it, Faith, you should have told me. It's… it's like you said to me. Freaking out isn't going to help Dawn any, but neither is trying to be so strong that you don't say anything when your feet are being mangled."

Buffy squeezed Faith's shoulders tenderly, trying to soften her words with her touch and her eyes. Faith was trying to look past her, but Buffy saw her swallow and knew that she was listening.

"You have to take care of yourself," Buffy repeated, rubbing a hand across her shoulder slowly. "Both of us have to take care of ourselves… especially now, when so much is at stake. And sometimes that means letting others take care of you too. Maybe not like I tried to with the taking the blame thing- maybe that was wrong- but physically, and emotionally, when we need it. That's what you do with people you love, Faith."

Her voice grew softer as she moved her hand down Faith's back, still rubbing slightly as a wry grin crossed her face.

"And of course, kick their ass too, when they need it."

Faith smiled slowly, almost reluctantly, then more fully. Buffy was relieved to feel her muscles loosen up a little under her hand as she said slyly, "Yeah, I think I know a little blondie whose ass needs kickin'…"

Her smile widening, Buffy pulled Faith closer, covering her lips with her own. Faith's arms went around her, and she kissed her back; for almost a minute they kissed gently, tenderly as though they were just getting to know each other, and simultaneously as if they were an old couple 

exploring a familiar road. Buffy knew that this way their nonverbal way of forgiveness and understanding, a promise of sorts that didn't sting like words might have.

When they had stopped to catch their breath, Buffy smiled into Faith's eyes, unable to resist giving her a quick, almost shy peck on the forehead. When Faith looked at her with surprise, Buffy grinned again.

"What?" she said innocently. "It was calling my name."

She lay down on the couch so that her head was in Faith's lap, and Faith put an arm around her shoulders. They were silent for a few moments before Buffy asked her softly, "Are you your feet still hurting, baby?"

Faith started to shake her head quickly, but then seemed to check herself, looking down at Buffy with a slow exhalation. "Not as bad," she said instead.

Her heart stirring slightly, knowing that Faith had listened and was trying to put in practice what Buffy had said to her, Buffy squeezed her knee.

"Need some kisses to make it better?"

Just then the phone rang, and both shot up off the couch, their hearts racing. Buffy beat Faith to the phone by a split second.

"Hello?" she called breathlessly, clutching the receiver tightly. There could only be one person calling…

"Buffy?" came her mother's voice over the receiver, somewhat strained in sound, and Buffy's grip tightened even further. She could vaguely feel Faith pressing up close to her, wanting to hear too, and Buffy let her, holding the receiver slightly away from her. "Buffy, Dawn is available for visitors now, and as I've said before, she's doing much better physically. But Buffy… I want you girls to be warned if you come to see her right now."

She paused, and Buffy felt herself shiver slightly without really understanding why, a response that quickly passed onto Faith as well. Putting an arm around her impulsively, as much for herself as for Faith, Buffy said in a voice almost as dry as her mouth felt, "Why? Is she still…"

"She's going to be okay, sweetie," Joyce assured her quickly, probably realizing how bad she was making everything sound. "She's stitched, bandaged, logical- and the psychiatrist who evaluated her even seems to think that she's… well, normal, considering. He wants to speak with me some more, and Dawn too, of course… and she even seems to be responding to one of the nurses in a positive manner. A rather cute male one, I might add. But Buffy… she doesn't want to see you or Faith. She didn't want to see me or Rupert either… she doesn't want to see anyone. Now of course I'm not going to stop you girls from doing so anyway… regardless of what Dawn wants, I think that this is what she needs. She needs to see you, to talk to you, and as soon as possible. But I just want you to be aware right now that she… she may be hostile or unresponsive to you."

Buffy sighed slowly; she was hardly surprised by her mother's words. She could hardly expect anything different… but she was troubled. How was she supposed to do this… what was she supposed to say?

She could feel Faith's dark eyes staring intently at her, and she tightened her arm around her as she answered her mother a bit hoarsely.

"Okay… we'll, we'll keep that in mind."

"Thank you, honey," her mother said quietly. "Drive safely- or make Faith drive safely. No, no, on second thought, you drive, Buffy; those poor feet of hers have already had enough today, and I've seen the way she slams down the brakes and gas pedal."

Buffy smiled a little at that, and when she looked at Faith, the brunette was smiling slightly too. Squeezing her again, Buffy spoke back into the phone, "Got it. We're on our way."

Hanging up, she took her arm away from Faith and instead took her hand, surprised by how cold it was. As they made their way to the car and drove off rapidly, neither spoke much; they were too busy thinking- agonizing- over the words they would have to come up with.

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When Buffy and Faith arrived once more in the hospital waiting room, they saw Joyce and Giles almost right away, sitting waiting for them. They were as close as the two girls had sat before them, very rumpled and sleepless in appearance. Joyce's hand was in Giles's, and he was absently stroking his thumb over hers as they approached them. Looking up as Buffy and Faith came over to them, they both attempted to smile at them. However, their teeth did not show, and it didn't quite meet their eyes.

"Hello Buffy, Faith… er, how have you been… holding up?" Giles asked them somewhat awkwardly, looking from one girl to another. The girls tried to smile back at him, or rather, Buffy did; Faith remained serious, shifting her weight often as she glanced toward the double doors leading into the hospital.

"We're… we're holding, Giles," Buffy answered, sighing. "Uh… thanks for being here. For Mom, and for Dawn…"

'You're quite welcome, Buffy," Giles replied, and then, releasing Joyce's hand with a last squeeze, he stood up slowly. Facing both of the girls who had once been his Slayers, he looked them each in the eyes, putting a hand on each young woman's shoulder in a manner that conveyed his concern and affection for them nearly as clearly as his expression and subsequent words.

"Your mother has told me what has happened, Buffy. It is most unfortunate, and certainly a disappointment in many levels. But I would like for you both to understand that one mistake will not mean the end for anything. You are here now, and perhaps this is the way destiny would have it. Perhaps Dawn discovered what she did because it is time she knew. I have faith in you both, that you will make her see what she must. And as your mother said, nothing I say to either of you will undo it or make anything change. What happened last night… it is far from the end of this."

At the feel of Giles's paternal hand on her shoulder, the gentleness of his tone, Buffy found herself unexpectedly near tears. To have him as well as her mother understand and forgive her was more than she felt she deserved. Looking at Faith, she saw that the brunette's shoulders were hunched inward, her eyes lowered, as if she too didn't trust herself to look at Giles. It was several moments before she could speak, and her voice still squeaked slightly.

"Thank you," she managed, and Faith echoed her a few moments later.

"Yeah… thanks… and… and I wanted to say to you… she's not the only one. Don't listen to B… she was, she was just runnin' her mouth, it was my fault as much as hers. I mean, I was talkin' to, Dawn heard me too-"

"Thank you, Faith…" Giles cut her off gently, and Buffy saw him squeeze her shoulder gently as Faith looked up at him, her brow furrowed with confusion.

"There's no need for that," he said simply, "from either of you."

He squeezed both their shoulders again before removing his hands and backing up a step, almost falling over the chair behind him. This brought real smiles to the three women with him, lightening the mood slightly as Giles flushed and Joyce put out her hands to steady him from where he was seated.

"Careful, Rupert, I think we've had enough medical crises for one night," Joyce said with an ironic smile, and she stood too, resting her hands on each girl's upper arms.

"I know you must want to see for yourself that Dawnie's all right, girls, so you can just go sign in at the front desk as her sisters," she told them, casting a significant glance at Faith to make sure she took that part in. "But remember, girls… she's still agitated. She doesn't want to see anyone… so whatever she says to you, you can't necessarily take it personally."

Looking from Buffy to Faith carefully, searching their eyes, she went on softly, "Rupert may be right… perhaps it was time she knew. I know you can do this."

"Thank you," Buffy whispered, a lump rising in her throat once more, and she hugged her mother on impulse, relieved when Joyce's comforting arms closed around her warmly. As Buffy, if not Faith, had grown accustomed to expecting, once she had released her daughter, Joyce pulled Faith into a quick but equally caring hug as well. Buffy saw her mother whisper into Faith's ear, so as not to embarrass her, but her Slayer hearing picked it up anyway; she was asking Faith how her feet felt.

When Faith had responded to her question just as quietly and Joyce had let her go, the Slayers turned to each other; now that they no longer had anything to delay their task ahead, they could clearly read the fear in each other's eyes.

Buffy reached again for Faith's hand, and Faith took it with hesitation. Together they walked to the front desk, aware of Giles and Joyce, whose hands had also joined up again, watching them from their seats with nearly as much worry in their expressions as the girls'.


	5. Chapter 5

Bonded

author notes: This chapter feels off somehow... so feel free to make suggestions/criticisms since I'm not sure what I think about it.

Chapter 5

The lady at the front desk didn't blink an eye when Buffy and Faith signed in as Dawn's sisters, although she looked frazzled enough, now that it was mid-morning and busy, that she might not have blinked an eye if they were male and Arabian and said the same. With visitor on their chests, the Slayers followed the directions she gave them to Dawn's room, holding hands until they ended up standing in front of her door. From that point, Buffy took a deep breath, noticing from the corner of her eye how very still Faith held herself. Giving her hand a last hard squeeze, Buffy pushed open the door.

They saw Dawn right away, sitting up in bed. She wasn't doing anything- not watching TV, not eating or sleeping- she was just sitting there, a look of such taut anger already set in her jaw that Buffy knew from the first glance they had their work cut out for them.

She saw Faith's gaze immediately fall to Dawn's wrists and followed it. Both her wrists were wrapped in gauze, covering her wounds and stitches. The room was very bare- probably, Buffy realized suddenly, so that Dawn couldn't use something in it to try and hurt herself.

"Hey, Dusk," Faith said a bit hoarsely, and Buffy echoed her a few seconds later, "Hi, Dawn… how are you doing?"

Dawn barely reacted to their greetings, and she would not look their way. Her jaw tightened further, and she said through clinched teeth, her words very strained, "Get out of here, I don't' want you here."

"Sorry, Dawn, but we're not going to do that," Buffy said softly, even as her heart twisted at the look on her sort-of-sister's small face, the anger so evident in her posture. "We can't… we need to talk to you."

"Well, I have nothing to say to you," Dawn snapped back, her blue eyes flashing dangerously, and for a moment Buffy was at a loss for words. Faith took over for her, stepping closer to Dawn's bedside.

"Well good then, you can just listen. Because we have a lot to say to you."

"I've already heard it all- every word," Dawn spat, "everything you've been keeping from me, everything you've been LYING to me about! What more could you possibly say to me?!"

"A lot more," Faith said quietly but firmly, and Buffy piped up, "we could tell you that we were wrong, Dawnie… that we should have told you earlier, told you ourselves. We could tell you why we did it, and why this is happening… and we could tell you how much we love you."

Her voice faltered slightly, against her intentions, and she pressed her lips together, fiercely drawing herself back under control. Dawn was completely uncaring; she glared ferociously at the two of them, her reply coming out in a vicious hiss.

"I don't want to hear it- I just want you to get out, NOW."

"Well you're gonna hear it," Faith said back almost as harshly. For a minute, as she looked between the two of them, heard their challenging tones to each, Buffy could see the resemblance- the connection- they had to each other all too clearly, on more than one level. "You're gonna hear it whether you want to or not, Dawn, because you need to hear what's gonna help make sure you stay alive."

At that, Dawn laughed bitterly, holding up her bandaged wrists with a sarcasm that made both older girls cringe. "Looks like you already did that one, Super Slayers, because here I am. I don't know why the hell you bothered. You'd think you'd be glad to be rid of me since, first off, I'm not real, second off, I'm not your sister, and third off, I'm gonna destroy the whole world."

"That's not true!" Buffy burst out with, and startled by the loudness and passion of her own voice, she lowered it considerably into a fierce near whisper as she came close to Dawn, leaning so close to her that Dawn had to look at her, had to notice the earnestness of her gaze.

"That's not true, Dawn. You ARE real… and you ARE my sister. You will always be my sister to me, and I will always love you like one. The difference is that now I know you're even more to me… to both of us. Because you're a part of us. Because-"

"Yeah, yeah, I heard- trust me, I heard," Dawn cut her off, sneering. Any other time Buffy would have been horrified by the way her cynicism and fury had changed her face, her tone, her posture. There seemed nothing left that was recognizable as the sweet, innocent Dawn she had 

been before… she seemed to have aged and hardened in the scope of a few hours in a way Buffy would never have thought possible.

"You've really gotta be more careful with your pillow talk, SLAYERS- if I can hear you just TALKING, imagine what ELSE I might have been hearing and just not said anything. So much for superhuman hearing," Dawn jeered, deliberately underlining the self-blaming thoughts Buffy and Faith had already been through over and over. "I already know everything you could possibly try to explain to me. I'm not real, I'm just some KEY. I don't even know what to, but obviously if I'm a key, I must open doors, which, knowing Sunnydale, is probably to a hell dimension. And that means I must be evil, or-"

"You're not evil," Buffy said to her forcefully, "NOTHING about you is evil, Dawn! You're… nothing has changed, just because now our, our perception of what you are has changed. Who you are hasn't… you're still the same girl you were. You're still Dawn."

"She's right," Faith spoke up, trying to give Dawn one of her usual playful grins. "Still the same little smartass Dusk we know and love."

"No, no, I'm not- I never was!" Dawn shot back, her voice rising. "I'm not ANYTHING- nothing except a stupid key!"

"Keep your voice down, Dusk," Faith said with a little worry, glancing toward the closed door. "We gotta talk about this, but if you really heard and understood as much as you think you did, then you know you can't let people hear you sayin' anything about-"

"Oh, you mean I've got to be as quiet as YOU were?" Dawn sneered. "You mean, when I'm talking about how I'm the key, I can't keep SAYING that I'm a key, I can't keep letting on that I KNOW I'm the key, I can't TELL anyone that I'm the key-"

Her voice was steadily getting louder, and she punctuated each mention of the word 'key' with especially heavy emphasis. Buffy was inwardly cringing, trying to think of a way to know if people could hear her, a way to shut her up… but it was Faith who took action.

Already close to Dawn, Faith moved very quickly, grabbing her shoulders and gripping them as hard as she could without actually causing Dawn pain. Both Buffy's and Dawn's eyes widened in shock, and Dawn actually blanched, real fear rising in her eyes at the intent, fierce look Faith 

fixed her with… a look she had never before bestowed on Dawn, even back in the days of the Mayor.

"You listen to me now, Dawn Marie Summers, and don't say another word until I'm done talkin' to you. We are both very, very fuckin' sorry that you know now what's the real deal, and that you found out how you did- that we didn't get to break it to you gentle, face to face. We're both very fuckin' sorry that you feel so bad, and that you're so angry at us. And we're sorriest of all that you felt like you had to do that to yourself. And it's okay that you're pissed at us- we expected you to be. It's okay if you don't' want to talk to us- in fact, you don't have to if you don't' want to. But whatever you want or decide you're gonna do, we're gonna talk to you anyway- and however sorry we are or how bad we feel for you, that ain't enough to keep me from tapin' your mouth shut if I have to just to keep you from runnin' your mouth, riskin' everyone's lives like that again."

Faith deliberately loosened her fingers on Dawn's shoulders, so that she was simply resting her hands on them, even as her eyes continued to bear into Dawn's. "I'd really like to be able to talk to you without worryin' about havin' to threaten you or watch every word you say or how loud you say it. I'd like for you to talk back to me- really, Dusk, I don't like the thought of tapin' up a fourteen-year-old who's in the hospital… a fourteen-year-old I care about. But I'm not above doin 'it if you make me. And if you can't do that, be quiet, and not say things like that loud enough for everyone in the whole place to hear you… like I said, I'm talkin' to you either way."

Conflicted thoughts and emotions flickered over Dawn's face as she stared back at Faith, seeming unable to believe what she had just said to her, the way she had grabbed her, put her face up so close- even if she had not really hurt or even threatened to hurt her. There was still a generous amount of anger and fury in Dawn's expression as she tried to keep glaring back at Faith, but there was almost incredulity, uncertainty, and varying measures of nervousness, worry, and even a little guilt. She glanced back at Buffy over Faith's shoulder, straining to catch her eyes. It seemed that she expected Buffy to get upset on her behalf, to yell at Faith and call her off of her.

But Buffy, despite her initial reaction to Faith's behavior with Dawn, was not about to. True, she had been stunned and upset when Faith first grabbed Dawn… she had felt her muscles tense automatically, felt herself start to go forward to grab Faith back, to protect Dawn from any possible hurt. She had felt the words of protest rising in her throat, and she had felt her face heat with anger and alarm…

But she had not taken more than one step towards Faith before she realized what was going on, could see clearly that Faith was not hurting her and did not intend to. It took her a few seconds of 

staring in delayed confusion, a few seconds of hearing Faith beginning to address Dawn, before it sunk in that what Faith was doing rubbed her wrong not only because of its threatening intensity, or because she was doing it to Dawn- but also because it was familiar. For Faith had used this same tactic earlier, with her.

Buffy had hated it, of course; it had been the last thing she wanted at the time, and she was sure that as she had looked up at Faith in shock, her eyes had conveyed much of the same sentiments that Dawn's were. But as much as she had disliked it at the time, it had clearly been necessary- and it had worked.

Obviously Faith thought it was necessary to do the same thing with Dawn now… and what she was saying, though Buffy hated the manner in which she was saying it, was not wrong. Dawn did need to keep her voice down… no matter how upset she was, she couldn't yell out like that about being the key, especially when she was just doing so to agitate them.

So when Dawn looked at Buffy for support, Buffy just gave her a tight, forced little smile, trying to look unconcerned.

"You heard what she said, Dawnie… please try to be more quiet," she said quietly but firmly. "You don't understand right now how important it is that you do."

"She's right," Faith added, and her voice had gone almost back to its normal tone, though a little hoarser than usual. Glancing at her, Buffy realized suddenly from the look of her eyes that Faith was more upset than she was trying to let on. She had hated doing that, hated that she had felt she had to act like that with Dawn… but she had done so anyway, and in fact was still holding her shoulders lightly. "I'm sorry, Dusk… I love you, you know I don't wanna do that if I don't have to. But if you make me, don't think I won't."

Dawn looked between them almost wildly, seeming to be measuring her options, unable to decide on a response. When she finally spoke, her eyes settled fiercely on first Buffy, then Faith, glaring with all the hot fury she could summon.

"I hate you," she spat. "Both of you."

"Well, that's your right, Dusk," Faith shrugged, her tone casual, although Buffy knew from the way her back had momentarily stiffened at Dawn's words that she had been hurt by them, just as Buffy was hurt. "I'd hate us too if I were you. So hate all you want, we're not gonna try and stop 

you. But you still gotta listen to what me and B have to say to you… and you still gotta keep quiet about it."

She looked at Buffy then, and Buffy knew even from that brief, seemingly simple glance what Faith was saying to her. She wanted Buffy to take over, to explain to Dawn about Glory, about what she was… because she wasn't sure that she could talk about it herself and remain calm.

Buffy wasn't so sure of that herself… but as Faith backed away from Dawn, she took a deep breath, steeling herself for the story that had changed their lives- perhaps their very fate- so drastically.

"No matter what you think or feel, Dawnie, or how you came about, you're still you," she began slowly. "You're still Dawn, still my sister… I just want you to know that…"

And with that, keeping her voice pitched very low, trying to ignore the growing discomfort in her stomach, Buffy began at the beginning, starting with telling her about finding Glory in the factory with the monks, and ending with the killing of the snake she had sent. It didn't take nearly as long as she would have thought- in fact, she was finished in under ten minutes. As she had began, Buffy had become vaguely aware of Faith's supportive hand on her shoulder; it had slowly slid itself down Buffy's arm until she was holding her hand. Grateful as she was for this tactile reassurance, Buffy had wondered what Dawn would think or feel when she was so angry with them.

But Dawn didn't even seem to notice; she had started out very defensive when Buffy was speaking, scowling so hard that it must have been a constant effort to keep it up. She seemed determined not to listen, but rather to sit in silence and wait for them to leave. But as Buffy's story had gone on, she had realized that Dawn's expression was slowly changing. It was obvious that she was listening, as her anger was rapidly being replaced by anxiety and fear… and a reluctant concern for them.

"So… this god, her name is Glory?" she said finally, tentatively, looking between them with much less hostility, though it was still clearly present in her gaze. "She wants me… but she doesn't know it yet? You're SURE she doesn't know?"

"We're sure," Buffy assured her quickly, "we killed the snake, there's no way she could know."

"And we're gonna keep it that way, Dusk," Faith added. "But you gotta help us out with that."

"I'm not real… but I'm, I'm made from you two,… and you two are real… how does that work?" Dawn asked next, still barely civil in tone.

Buffy and Faith glanced at each other awkwardly… for honestly, they were still wondering about that one themselves.

"Uh…we don't know… maybe something to do with, with our Slayer bond, and the Slayer line-" Buffy started.

"So I'm a Slayer too then?"

Just then, the door to Dawn's room opened and an attractive young man in hospital scrubs walked in, causing both Buffy and Faith to jump. They had heard someone passing by in the hall, but had not expected him to enter the room. Dawn, however, looked relieved- and almost happy. Her eyes brightened, and she sat up straighter, pushing at her hair self-consciously.

"Hi, Dawn, how are you doing?" he asked her, going towards her, and Dawn said back, "Hi, Ben," in a voice that, if not exactly chipper, was much more civil than the one she'd been using.

Ahhh, Buffy realized, smiling inwardly. This must be the male nurse Mom mentioned…

He looked up from where he had been examining Dawn's bandages, giving both Buffy and Faith brief but genuine smiles. "You must be Dawn's older sisters. I'm Ben, her nurse- yeah, you can go ahead and laugh, I'm used to it," Ben remarked wryly when Faith's mouth twitched. "I'm secure enough in my masculinity to take it."

Looking at Dawn again, he smiled at her, saying, "Looks like you're healing nicely here."

Glancing back at Faith and Buffy, he told them somewhat apologetically, "I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to ask you two to leave for a while. Dr. Williams is coming back to talk with Dawn before too long, and she's not supposed to have visitors for long yet. I'd bend the rules for you, but seeing as it's my first year and I like my newly employed status…" he shrugged, smiling, and despite her disappointment, Buffy smiled too.

"We understand… when can we come back again?"

"Oh, probably within a few hours," Ben assured her, and the older girls nodded, trying to ignore the look Dawn was shooting them behind Ben's back, meant to convey exactly how unwelcome they would be.

"All right, Dawn, well, we'll see you then," Buffy told her quietly, "talk about this a little more, okay?"

She reached to smooth Dawn's hair, kissing her forehead- a move that Dawn's eyes flashed hotly at- and told her softly, "I love you, Dawn… I'll always love you."

Dawn didn't say anything as Buffy backed away, probably because Ben was still standing nearby. She stiffened as Faith came forward, ruffling her hair and giving her a little half-grin.

"Be good, Dusk…"

She too leaned to kiss Dawn, her cheek rather than her forehead, and though her whisper to the younger girl was very soft, Buffy's Slayer hearing picked it up.

"I love you too, Dusk… and I'm sorry, okay? Really."

Ben was standing patiently back towards the doorway, as if waiting to escort them outside the room; in fact, that was probably exactly what he was doing. As Buffy and Faith left the room, he followed them out. Smiling at them both, he said quietly, "I know you must be worried about 

your sister, but I really do think she's going to be fine. Girls like that, who are so young, when they get very angry or emotional, sometimes they do things without thinking about them… from what I've observed of her, I don't' believe she's truly suicidal, so much as angry and confused. Of course, that's just my opinion- you'd have to ask the psychiatrist evaluating her for a true diagnosis, or get your mother to."

Buffy smiled gratefully at him, glad to hear another reassurance. For even after seeing Dawn herself, hearing everyone who was closest to her tell her that she would be all right, a small part of her still could not fully believe, or accept this. She saw Faith smiling slightly too, and unconsciously she stepped closer to her, almost touching her.

"Thank you," she told Ben softly. "She… have you been talking to her?"

"Well, I try to talk to all of my patients, but yes, I have spoken with her a few times. Dawn strikes me as a good kid- sensitive, maybe, a little high-strung, definitely emotional. But a sweet kid, and a strong one. I'm sure she'll pull out of whatever made her do this… and especially with all the support of her family like you've been giving her," Ben assured them. "Not every girl like Dawn has that, you know, and it really helps."

Buffy didn't' say anything, but glancing at Faith, she knew that they were thinking the same thing. What if the supportive family supposed to help her heal was the one who had made her want to destroy herself in the first place?

Ben headed down the hall to another patient's room, and as a doctor began to make his way down the hall, stopping before Dawn's room, Buffy and Faith began to slowly walk back to the waiting room. Faith seemed troubled; she was frowning, and when Buffy glanced over at her, she quickly looked away from her.

"Faith- what is it?" Buffy asked her, reaching for her hand and squeezing it gently, her own brow furrowing in concern. "I know it… I hated seeing Dawn like that, her being so angry… but… I think she's going to be okay. At least she understands now… mostly… and we can come back later."

"You're not mad at me?" Faith asked hesitantly, with an almost shyness that Buffy had not heard from her in a considerable amount of time… an uncertainty that melted her heart. "After I was so rough with her… I mean, I guess I went a little too far, B, she's gonna hate me now… and-"

"No, of course I'm not mad at you!" Buffy exclaimed, genuinely startled, and she squeezed Faith's hand again, briefly pulling her to a stop. "Well, maybe I was at first… but then I saw what you were doing, and why. You felt like you needed to do that to her like you did to me, didn't you… and I think you were probably right. I think she… she needed to have you be like that… and I think she gets it now. How serious all this is… I don't think she wanted to see that, because she's so upset now about everything else."

Faith nodded, but Buffy could tell from her expression that she didn't fully believe her. Or maybe it was just that she was still troubled to think of how angry Dawn was with them, and how she had treated her despite her fragile state. Buffy was bothered by it too, of course… but her visit with Dawn, short and stressful as it had been, had also revived her hopes some.

Putting an arm around Faith, she said quietly, " She might hate us now, Faith… but what matters is that now that she understands more about it, she might be able to stay alive long enough to continue to do so…"

The girls began to walk back toward the waiting room, their arms still around each other loosely. There was much ahead of them to deal with, and they knew it. But for the moment, with both physical and emotional contact from each other, they were beginning to feel as if they would be able to handle it as it came to them.


	6. Chapter 6

Bonded

Chapter 6

Author note: Wayyyy long chapter that I considered making into two, so enjoy my decision not to.

In the living room of the Summers's house, it was totally silent for about thirty seconds after Buffy had finished speaking. The four people stuffed together on the couch- well, Xander was sitting on the armrest- just stared across the room at her… Buffy wasn't even sure that Willow was blinking.

Finally Xander broke the ice, shaking his head and exhaling loudly. "Wow. And to think that you used to complain about how lucky Dawn was, to be so completely _normal_… "

Buffy smiled faintly at that from her position in the armchair, which she was sharing with Faith, sitting on her lap. She shifted her weight slightly, trying to make both herself and Faith more comfortable, and felt Faith's arms adjust around her waist as well, putting her back against her. Buffy leaned back against the other girl, glad for the physical if not quite conscious, show of support.

"Yep," she answered wryly, looking over at Xander. "Who'd have thought."

Xander was frowning, looking very intent in thought… which should have clued her off what the direction of his next words would be. "So… that means that I'm the last Joe Average standing with you guys… when the Powers that Be were handing out all the powers, how did I get looked over?" he asked, attempting weak humor to cover his troubled emotions, but they still showed clearly in his eyes.

"You were distracted by all the hot chicks with their new mad skills and got out of line," Faith replied in kind almost immediately, smirking at him over Buffy's shoulder, and Xander nodded his head gravely.

"Yeah, that must be it…"

"Xander, you're not average," Anya said seriously, regarding him with a scrutinizing frown. "Your fashion sense could use work, admittedly, and you have appalling money handling skills, but your kissing technique is certainly excellent. As is your ability to give multiple orgasms-"

"Are you serious?! X-MAN?!" Faith said incredulously, as the others stared at them, shocked that they were even discussing this after the heavy things that Buffy had just said. Faith went quiet quickly, and from the way she squeezed Buffy's waist, putting her chin on her shoulder, Buffy knew that she was trying to apologize without words. It wasn't that she didn't care, or wasn't upset… it was just that, like Xander, she was uncomfortable showing it and dealing with it, particularly in front of all the others.

Buffy just shook her head, leaning back even more into Faith, and thinking distantly that she was glad there wasn't enough sitting space in her living room for six people. Of course, there was the floor… but who would pick that over their girlfriend's lap?

After leaving Dawn's hospital room, Buffy and Faith had told Joyce and Giles what Ben had said about her visitor status, then, upon their insistence, went to the hospital cafeteria for something to eat with them. The adults hadn't pushed them to tell how it had gone with Dawn- more like gentle probing- and the girls had told them what they thought they needed to know- which was basically that Dawn knew what she was for sure now, and that they wanted to finish speaking with her as soon as was possible.

They had been able to finish speaking to Dawn later during the day, and though entirely not enjoyable, the conversation had not gone as intensely as it had before. They had done their best to answer all of Dawn's questions about who she was and what she could be used for. It was clear that Dawn was still angry with them, but maybe partly because of Faith's threat to tape her mouth shut from before, she mostly behaved… even if her every word dripped with exaggerated civility.

After leaving, they had decided that it was time the other were told about Dawn, and as quickly as possible. Heading back home, they had began to call them, only to quickly be informed that everyone already knew something was up and was very worried. Anya, apparently, had panicked when Giles never showed up for work. She had called Xander, who called Giles. When he received no answer, he had called Buffy- again receiving no answer. A call to Willow had informed them that Buffy hadn't been in class, and Anya's visit to Buffy's house had revealed lots of broken glass, blood, and no one home. A call to the hospital had gotten them nowhere, as Dawn was still a minor, and so the four of them, once Willow told Tara as well, had been freaking, certain that terrible must have attacked and possibly kidnapped them.

After quickly reassuring them that this was not the case, Buffy had told them to meet at her house once Xander was off of work so she could explain. As they had gathered in her living room, with Tara, Willow, and Anya on the couch and Xander on the armrest next to Anya, Buffy and Faith sitting together in the armchair, had started with the news of what Dawn had done and where she currently was, then worked their way up from there to a rushed, somewhat spotty recounting of her true identity. Now that they knew, the impact of what she was actually saying seemed to be slow in sinking into them.

"But… Dawn's going to be okay, isn't?" Willow asked for the fifth time, her face wrinkling anxiously with her concern. "She's not… she isn't-"

"She's going to be okay, Will," Buffy reassured her again, "we just have to make sure that she stays okay… that nothing gets to her where she could be harmed."

"Shouldn't one of you be with her then?" Xander asked, frowning across at her and Faith. "Guard duty or something- you could switch off-"

"We gotta make her seem normal, X-Man," Faith pointed out, shifting Buffy slightly on her lap again. "Havin' someone stand guard over a kid like that kinda screams 'not normal'."

"She… she won't do it again, will she?" Willow asked, biting her lip. Buffy could tell that, though Xander and Tara had also been upset and shocked by the news, Willow was the most devastated of the four… at least outwardly.

"I mean, she wouldn't… she didn't really want to… did she?" Willow asked shakily, and though she didn't say so, Buffy knew she was asking if Dawn was still suicidal.

"I… I don't know," she replied quietly, her voice faltering slightly, and she could feel Faith and Xander sober even further from their previous attempts at lightening the mood. Faith squeezed her again gently, resting her chin on Buffy's shoulder, and Buffy covered Faith's hand on her abdomen with her own, sighing slowly.

"I don't' think so, Will… I hope not. Ben, this nurse she's been talking to, he doesn't think so either, but the shrink she's seeing won't let anyone know anything for certain yet. Right now… I think she's just really angry… and hurt. Everything in her life was a lie, and… and it's upset her," Buffy finished, squeezing Faith's hand as she trailed off.

"I… I would be able t-to tell," Tara ventured, looking over at Buffy and Faith shyly. "If she was really st-still thinking like that… if I saw her… her aura, it would show it."

"Oh yeah, could she do that?" Willow exclaimed, looking from Tara to the Slayers with obvious hope. "Could she go visit her… because, because I really don't want…"

Her voice trailed off, but everyone knew what she meant. She really didn't want to even consider that Dawn might hurt herself again, when so many other things were more than willing to do it for her…

"Yeah, can all of us go?" Xander added quickly, his tone serious, concerned now. "I mean, not all together, of course… but I'd… I'd really like to see her."

"I don't know," Buffy said gently, "we'll see… she might not want to see you, or the hospital might not want so many coming. I mean, we said Faith was her sister, but how many siblings around seventeen to nineteen years old can a girl have, you know?"

Realizing how far off track they were getting from the main point she had brought them together to hear, Buffy took a deep breath, looking at the four in front of her one by one. After all she'd said- and it had admittedly been short and somewhat vague- about Dawn being a key, and the same girl who had sent the snake for her being the one wanting to use her to open world-destroying orbs- and the only comment they'd had so far had been Xander's weak attempt at sarcasm? Buffy didn't understand- had they skipped right past all that, or did THEY not understand what she had told them?

"Look, guys," she began, " I know you're all worried about Dawn… but you've hardly said anything about… what she is. Don't you… I mean, aren't you wanting to know more… or, or mad at us for not saying so before… or something? Don't' you have any questions, or…"

"Well… it's just so weird," Willow said hesitantly, looking around at the others before looking back at Buffy and Faith. "I mean, you say Dawnie isn't… real. That she hasn't always been here… but we remember her. And you say she's made from you two… but how is that even possible? I've never heard of someone being made from two females."

"Well, it's not like one of us gave birth to her, Red," Faith said dryly, raising an eyebrow. "It's some magic shit. Would've thought you'd be the one to know, if anyone- you or Terror."

"No… no, I've n-never heard of this," Tara said quietly. "You said she was m-made from you… but the, the way it sounds, it s-sounds more like she existed and, and was t-taking parts of you to make herself l-like she is now. Like your, your characteristics and ph-physical features… c-combining them… do you think? B-but Willow's right, I've never h-heard of this key."

"I have," Anya said casually, and everyone else in the room turned to stare at her, their eyes wide with surprise. Seeing their startled expressions, she furrowed her brow back at them. "What? You live for over a millennium, you hear about a lot of stuff. Of course, that precedes me, the key- way before I was born, even as a human. I didn't think anyone would ever actually be stupid enough to want to USE the thing. Let alone some stupid human girl- what, is she a complete psycho?"

"What?" Buffy said, puzzled, as she turned to Anya. "She's not a human… didn't I say that? Did I really not say that? No, she's not human… she's a hell god. Or goddess- the monk guy was kind of iffy on that. Looks female to me, but maybe that's just the way she likes to appear-"

Anya's face froze, and a sudden, sharp realization lit itself in her abruptly alarmed eyes. Sitting up straight, she opened her mouth, but Willow, oblivious, beat her to speaking.

"A GOD? She's a GOD? NO, you didn't say that!" she exclaimed. "You were all, 'the girl who sent the snake, the same woman Giles sold the amulet and stone to'- nowhere did you mention she was an immortal, unkillable god! A GOD wants Dawnie?!"

"IS she immortal and, and un-unkillable?" Tara asked hesitantly, looking from her girlfriend's stunned features to Buffy and Faith. "I-I'm not sure if there IS a way to kill a god or not. Or, or h-hurt her… m-maybe send her to a different world…"

"Hey!" Anya said abruptly, trying to get everyone's attention, but no one even seemed to hear her; they were all too intently focused on this new, rather important piece of information.

"Like you did with Angel?" Xander said hopefully. "Find a way to send her to a hell dimension? Because as a hell god, she would probably feel more at home there anyway."

"I don't know," Buffy said again, flinching slightly at the mention of Angel and what she had done to him, though this was partly because she had felt Faith stiffen behind her. Buffy squeezed the hand her over her abdomen and felt Faith squeeze it back after a moment as she continued speaking.

"We've fought her a few times now, or rather, Faith has… not with weapons, though, so that might make a difference if we find the right one," she said doubtfully. "So far nothing Faith's tried has fazed her for long."

"Hey-" Anya tried again, her voice growing more urgent, but Faith cut her off without even glancing at her.

"No shit! The chick knows how to throw down," she said, reflexively touching her face. "In a dress and heels, no less. Worse than B with that."

"Well, it's useful to know how to fight in something other than jeans or leather, Faith. A situation could arise at any moment, and you never know how you might dressed, so it's good to practice in them so you can be prepared-" Buffy started somewhat defensively, and this turn of conversation was apparently too much for Anya.

"HEY!" she shrieked, her eyes bulging furiously as she glared at them all, but particularly Faith and Buffy. "I AM TRYING TO TALK HERE!"

The others stared at her, taken aback; Faith gestured with one hand, lifting her eyebrows.

"Well go for it then, Carrots… the floor is yours."

Anya took a deep breath, seeming to be trying to calm herself, but her facial muscles were still tensed, her voice high and strained when she spoke… and it couldn't have helped that Faith had called her the bunny-inspired nickname she hated.

"All of you, you just keep going on and on, none of you can listen when it's IMPORTANT, and you wonder why you all DIE so much, maybe because you never LISTEN-"

"Ahn, only Buffy and Faith have died," Xander said in puzzlement. "Haven't they?"

"Hey, I only died once!" Buffy protested. "Faith too- I don't know where you're getting all these multiple deaths from-"

"Better knock on wood with that," Xander suggested, and Buffy twisted around in Faith's lap, searching for wood without finding any close by.

"HEY! I'M TALKING!" Anya squawked furiously, and the others settled down.

"Sorry Anya… we're listening, what is it?" Buffy asked apologetically.

Still glaring at her, Anya looked like she wasn't going to say anything, but apparently her thoughts were too prevalent for her to keep them to herself. She only stewed in silence for about three seconds before coming out with them.

"You said that this girl, the girl who wants the key, she's a god? A HELL god? A female hell god who wants to use Dawn to open some orb?" she demanded.

"Yeah…" Buffy said slowly, not seeing where this was going. "Glory. Her name is Glory, the monks said- I don't think we mentioned that before either. Why, have you heard of her?"

"Have I HEARD of her?" Anya sputtered, spreading her arms out indignantly. "Of course I've heard of her! Everyone in the hell dimensions has heard of her! She's one of the most ancient hell gods of history! Now, I never MET her- honestly, most of us tried to stay out of her way- but of course I've HEARD of her! There are all kinds of stories and legends referring to her throughout the ages, she had many amusing tales of vengeance herself that we admired, as vengeance demons. You didn't say that it was GLORIFICUS you were talking about- she is very, very dangerous and scary! If she wants the key, you better get the hell out of town with it!" Anya said shrilly, her brown eyes wide and earnest with alarm.

" '_It_?!' 'It' is a SHE, 'it' is Dawn!" Faith growled, her arms dropping abruptly from around Buffy's waist as she leaned over Buffy's shoulder instinctively. "And what the hell makes you say that- what do you know about Glory? Why didn't you-"

"You know about Glory, Anya?" Buffy cut Faith off deliberately, feeling how tense the brunette had grown against her and knowing that she was getting angry- more from stress, probably, than from Anya, who she could usually shrug off easily enough. Buffy took Faith's escaped hands in hers again, gently wrapping them back around her middle and holding them there as she continued to address Anya.

"What do you know about Glory- what have you heard about her? Don't get into all the stories about people she's killed, affairs, all that gossipy demon talk," she said hastily, realizing that with Anya, telling her to tell everything she knew might be a mistake. "Tell us about her powers, her weaknesses, how she got here and why, anything we might be able to use to understand her- and how to stop her."

Even as Buffy dreaded hearing what Anya knew about Glory- for if she was admired and feared by vengeance demons, this could not be good- she also felt a fairly strong stirring of hope. Someone knew who she was… someone KNEW about Glory, might be able to tell them things that could help them defeat her. Maybe Anya's knowledge could actually give them a chance…

Anya was still looking at Buffy and Faith with a stunned huffiness, but they could also see the fear still glittering in her eyes when she began to speak… a fear that only the mentioning of bunnies or an apocalypse had ever made light itself in her eyes.

"Well, she used to be without form, you know? Like the wind or something, a presence you were very aware of, but heard and felt and were moved by rather than physically seeing. It never seemed to stop her from doing anything she wished, however, as I recall. There were many tales of her strength of power and brutality- she was admired by all, even those who hated her, and many modeled their vengeance methods after her. That could be dangerous, because she wasn't above getting angry and torturing demons she thought to be mocking or imitating her skills. One of her most feared powers was her mind-draining… she could put her hands on the head of any living thing and drain them of all their mental facilities, so they were left blank inside, dumb and catatonic," Anya began, giving a slight shudder. "I saw a couple of demons like that myself who had displeased her… it was even easier for her to do with humans, I'm sure, since you are such weak and helpless things overall."

Buffy stiffened with her surprised dismay at Anya's words, and she could feel Faith freeze up beneath her as well. They had seen that, the mind-draining Anya had described… they had seen 

Glory do that to one of the monks in the factory, just before killing him. Now they understood what it really was…

"What the hell is she doin' here?" Faith asked raspily, her arms tightening around Buffy's waist almost painfully. "If she was so happy in her damn hell dimension suckin' out brains, why did she come here? And why did she come here? And I don't know about the wind thing, but she's definitely got a body now. A freakin' rock solid one," she muttered, pressing her lips together firmly.

Buffy stroked her thumb over the back of Faith's hand as she waited for Anya's reply; Xander, Willow, and Tara seemed completely caught up in her words as well, leaning toward her slightly with anxious eyes as they listened intently.

"Well, there was actually a rather widely circulated story about that," Anya replied thoughtfully. "It was within the last week or so that I was vengeance demon, about a year and a half ago, I suppose. I was never quite sure then if it was really or not, just more of Halfrek's gossip, but I guess it would explain everything going on now if-"

"Well, what IS it?" Buffy and Faith blurted out at the same time, in the exact same eager/impatient/exasperated tone. Glancing at each other in surprise, Buffy gave her a brief smile before turning back to Anya.

"Anya, this could be very important. Tell us all you remember about what they said."

"Well, all the stories differed, of course," Anya equivocated, "no one could seem to agree on all the details. But the general consensus was that Glorificus grew bored with the torturing demons and the occasional hell-bound human and decided it might be fun to play out her powers on earth, with humans still settled in their own lives. She thought that she might be more entertained by harming humans who were still innocent or pure-hearted. So she took on the form of a human girl, they said, and went to travel through an orb of time and space to get to Earth. Apparently something went wrong, maybe because she wasn't used to her imperfect new body solidarity, and the orb collapsed at one end, closing up for good- and closing all other orbs that would return her to where she came from. So then she was stuck here in her hybrid human/god form," Anya finished. "I suppose that's why she wants the key… she wants to open up the orb again to go back to her hell dimension. She wouldn't care what it did to earth. They were using this story as a caution about orbs and careful travel within them. I was never really sure it was true, but I guess it obviously must be."

Buffy was very still, her mind racing as she took in what Anya had just told them. It all made sense… of course it did… but the problem was that none of Glory's back story would help them, without knowing-

"Well, fine, that's great, but that really doesn't help us," Faith said flatly, echoing and voicing Buffy's thoughts exactly as she shifted Buffy slightly over on her legs again. "What we really want to know is how to kill her."

"Uh, not to repeat, but… can you even do that? Can anyone?" Xander asked hesitantly. "I always heard that gods are sort of immortal."

"But, but so are vampires, and you can kill them!" Willow said hopefully. "There has to be something…"

"You s-said she's a god/human h-hybrid… d-does that mean she's weaker? Then she was as a g-god, I mean… does that mean we could kill her?" Tara asked quietly, looking toward Anya.

Anya seemed still slightly miffed at them all, definitely still fretting… but also somewhat pleased, as if she were satisfied that they were finally listening and deferring to her. Tossing her hair back, she said with a furrowed forehead, "Well, yes, I suppose you could in theory… yes, there would be a way. But it would be nearly impossible. See, in this hybrid body form, Glorificus would still be a god and retain her powers, but having to be in a human body so consistently would weaken and drain her after certain periods of time. On earth, the physical laws are different- she wouldn't be capable of retaining her natural form, so she HAS to stay in the human form, even though it does weaken her in time."

"_Weak_? You say she's WEAK now?!" Faith interrupted in disbelief. "What the hell could she do when she was STRONG?!"

"Almost anything," Anya replied, looking at her with a deadly seriousness that made everyone in the room momentarily feel a coldness come over them. "More than you humans could ever even conceive of…"

Everyone was silent for a few moments, trying not to think of what Anya had said. Buffy shivered in spite of herself, and she felt Faith rub her hands slowly down her arms in an attempt to warm and assure her.

"You said there could be a way," Buffy said finally, evenly, looking Anya in the eye with a determination she told herself she truly felt. "That Glory is weakened now. How… what can we do?"

"Well, she has to have a host," Anya explained. She seemed calmer now, much less panicky, almost as if by explaining to them she was reassuring herself, realizing that maybe it wasn't as bad as she had thought. "Because it's wearing on the human body to have a god… it's not a true human body with a true human life force of its own, but one she created. So she would have to sort of borrow another human's at critical moments when her strength wanes. She'd have to pick one human and sort of put herself inside of him, disappearing from her current body form and being sucked into his. He wouldn't know she was there- he'd continue like normal- but she would absorb what she needed of his human life force and essence until she was strengthened enough to return to her form as a girl. Yep, I'm almost positive that's what she must be doing- that's what she'd have to be doing if everything else they said is true."

Anya smiled brightly now, as if a sudden stroke of brilliance had befallen her. "And that's how you can kill her… when she's in her host. Because her other body would be temporarily disappeared, and as the host was dying, she'd be stuck inside. She wouldn't be able to have enough strength yet to return to her other body or form a new one or hop to a new host. She'd have to die! Yes, that's how you'll do it- you find her while she's in her host, and you kill it!" Anya said with growing excitement, actually bouncing slightly in her seat.

"Anya, that's terrific!" Buffy said, catching her excitement as she sat up straighter, her eyes lighting up. "Now all we have to do is figure out who her host is, and wait until she has to go inside it… how can you tell that, by the way? Who the host is, and when Glory's inside?"

"Well, that's the tricky part," Anya admitted, her joy deflating somewhat. "You can't. Unless you just happen to be with him already; if she goes into him then you'll probably see his body react to it for a second."

"Hmm… that could be a problem," Buffy mused, frowning. "I wonder if she'd pick a certain person over another- or do you think she'd have a preference?"

"We can maybe try a spell," Willow said eagerly. "Maybe a locator spell- Tara and I could-"

"GUYS," Faith said suddenly, and though she wasn't yelling, there was a taut, almost desperate urgency to her voice that shook them, made them turn to her immediately. Her body beneath Buffy's was rigid, and as Buffy reached instinctively for her hand, looking into her eyes, she was alarmed at the darkness and pain shining in their depths. She started to speak, to ask her what was wrong, but Faith answered before she could ask.

"Do you HEAR what you're sayin'?" she almost whispered, her voice hoarse. "This host you're talkin' about… he, he or she… they're a person. We're talkin' about killin' a PERSON… someone who won't even know what's goin' on. Did you even think about that?"

As her words sank in, the others gawked at her, only then realizing that she was right… and they had indeed not thought about that at all, other than gladly seizing upon a solution.

Buffy's stomach dropped low even as her heartbeat sped, steadily climbing its way up toward her throat. Faith was right… this wouldn't be just Glory they were killing, not just evil… they would also have to kill an innocent. A person… someone who might have family, friends, a happy and active life. Someone who might be an old woman, a child… someone who could be anyone.

She could feel Faith's pain through their Slayer bond, her usually-at-rest-now guilt and shame rising strongly again, and she knew what the brunette was thinking… she could not do that again. Faith could not take another life, another innocent…

Buffy turned in Faith's lap and wrapped her arms around her, hugging her fiercely. She felt Faith's arms go around her as well, almost clinging to her, and Buffy held her for a long moment before turning her head toward Anya, keeping one arm still around Faith's waist supportively.

"Is there no other way, Anya?" she asked her quietly. "Is there nothing else we can do to stop her?"

"I… I don't know," Anya admitted. "If there is, then I don't' know it. But we've got to do something… the monks were right. Once the orb is opened up by the key, everyone will die… well, unless you close it in time," she mused thoughtfully.

"How would we do that?" Buffy asked quickly.

"Well… you use the key to open the door," Anya said slowly, "so you'd have to use it to shut it. So I would think that once the orb was open- and it would probably open by Dawn's blood, that's always a popular ritual- then you'd have to close it in the same way."

"What does that mean?" Buffy asked, her throat dry.

"You'd have to throw her into it… into the orb," Anya replied reluctantly, suddenly unable to meet Buffy's eyes. "That… that would close it down… but once it had disappeared, she would keep falling, in earth… and she…"

She didn't finish her sentence, but everyone knew what she meant. She meant that Dawn would die…

Buffy could still hear Faith's heightened breaths against her, could feel them shuddering against her own torso; it took her a moment to realize that in contrast, she had stopped breathing entirely. She sucked in a breath abruptly, closing her eyes; when she opened them, she looked from one stricken face to another, summoning up a determination in her voice she could not yet feel.

"That is not going to happen… NONE of that will happen. I won't let it. We're not killing anyone, and no one's going to die… no one but Glory. We'll find another way… we have to. Now what we should do is call Mom and Giles and have them come here, let them know what's going on. Someone can stay with Dawn in the hospital, maybe Faith or me- but we need to talk this out, research, put our heads together until we come up with something. We always have before…"

As the others agreed slowly, one by one, and Willow stood, going to the phone, Buffy let out a quiet breath as she turned to Faith again, wrapping her arms around her tightly. She only hoped that what she had said was possible…


	7. Chapter 7

Bonded

Chapter 7

Author note: So nothing happens in this chapter…sorry in advance. Moving plot along, quite necessary sometimes.. lol. But next chapter will be better.

After their discussion, everyone had done as Buffy said; Willow had called Joyce and Giles, who, as it turned out, had been heading home anyway. After filling them in on what Anya had revealed to them, another discussion had ensued, along with plans for future research and courses of action. By this time, however, though everyone wanted to do something to help their situation, no one could quite seem to get it into gear. Everyone was anxious and more confused than ever as to where to start, and Giles, Joyce, and the Slayers were very tired from their nearly sleepless night and day- completely sleepless, in Buffy's and Faith's case.

Still, Giles had driven Joyce and the girls to the Magic Box in his car, and the others had followed along in their cars. They had spent a couple more hours looking through books for ideas as to possible courses of action, talking, and questioning Anya, Giles, Buffy, and Faith- the only four who had heard of or actually dealt with Glory before. But their talking only seemed to circle around to what they already knew… the course they were trying to avoid.

They could think of no other way to kill Glory then to kill her host… to kill a human being. And the longer they thought about it, the more hopeless that even this answer seemed… for how likely was it that they would ever even be able to identify her host?

As time went on, Buffy felt Faith's tension and weariness more and more heavily through their bonding, until she could no longer distinguish between it and her own. She tried to talk to herself, sternly telling herself to focus, but eventually she found her head drooping and had to snap it back up with wide eyes.

Noticing this, and glancing to see Faith's slumped shoulders and slowly glazing stare, Giles had gently suggested, then insisted, that they go home and rest, leave the research and decisions for the next day. Buffy and Faith had protested at first, but when he and Joyce pointed out that they were hardly at their sharpest thinking skills when tired, and would not be of any use to Dawn in that state, they had reluctantly conceded to the point. They had then wanted for one or both of them to be driven to the hospital to stay the night with Dawn, but again their desires had been vetoed. Giles and Joyce had pointed out to them again that they were no good to Dawn tired and needed rest, and that stationing someone with her at all times, as Faith had pointed out earlier to Xander herself, wasn't exactly a way to make her seem inconspicuous and ordinary. They- 

Joyce, Giles, and the girls- could see her again tomorrow, and that was all that Giles and Joyce would agree to tonight.

The girls had protested again but eventually agreed, admitting to themselves begrudgingly that they were right. There really wasn't much that they could do for tonight.

As Giles had driven them back, they had leaned on each other heavily in the backseat, not quite sleeping, but lulled further towards it by the car's motion. It had seemed a shock when they arrived home so quickly. Buffy and Faith had stumbled into the living room and sat on the couch, not intending to go to sleep yet- not feeling as if they even should want to sleep, after all that had happened- but Joyce had put on her Stern Mother voice and matching expression and ordered them to bed. Usually the irony of this- being ordered by her mother to go to bed with her girlfriend- would have made Buffy squirm and Faith smirk, but then they were too worn out mentally and physically to really notice. Buffy HAD noticed the dark circles beginning to from under her mother's eyes and the worry forming shadows in them, however, betraying her own exhaustion. When Joyce had moved to hug her and Faith, giving them both a kiss on their temples before releasing them, she could feel the tension in her mother's body as well.

Giles had still been lingering in the living room with Joyce when the girls began to head upstairs; Buffy suspected that Joyce would be going to bed before too long as well, and that he would be joining her in it. She simply couldn't bring herself to worry or get skeeved out at the thought of that, though… in fact, she found herself vaguely hoping that they would be able to rest and relax together.

Buffy and Faith didn't bother to brush their teeth; they just headed straight for the bedroom, pausing only to strip down to their panties before climbing in. Buffy thought briefly to herself as she settled under the covers that after all that had happened, all she had seen and heard today, there was no way she should be able to sleep. But as she snuggled into Faith's chest, burrowing close and feeling Faith press herself tight to her as well in response, it only took a few moments for her to drift off.

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She could see her, standing before her on a water tower, her blonde hair wild, red dress clinging to her every curve. Behind her, a swirling, clearly mystical chasm was opening, wider and wider, and Glory grinned manically as howling, misty figures began to pour out from it. The whole world seemed to be darkening, trembling, but Buffy barely noticed… her eyes were fixated on her sister's, wide, and terrified, in the circle of Glory's arms…

"Thanks for the delivery," Glory smirked, stroking a finger across Dawn's cheek. The girl's blue eyes bulged, and she was pleading wordlessly, begging for Buffy to help her, but Buffy could not move… she could only watch helplessly as Glory continued, still idly caressing Dawn's face.

"I took good care of the little girl, Slayer… but now that she had served her purpose… cute as she is, I really have no further use for her."

And with that, Glory's hands slid to Dawn's slim, fragile neck, and she snapped it so quickly that Buffy had no time to even scream…

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Buffy awakened with a short cry, something like an aborted scream; she could feel the pressure of it, heavy and anxiety-inducing in her chest, she was breathing rapidly, shaking, and it took a moment for her to realize that her cheeks were wet, more tears quickly but silently emerging.

It took her even longer to realize that Faith was no longer curled into her. She had rolled away from her, was turned with her back to Buffy, rolled into a ball as far as she could get. As greater awareness of her surroundings kicked in, Buffy could see that her shoulders were quivering, could hear her muffled sobbing.

Drawing in a slow breath, sniffing back her own involuntary silent tears, Buffy scooted close to her, curling her body around her as she embraced Faith tightly from behind. She felt Faith shudder slightly, and she stayed still and silent as she held her, waiting for her tears- both their tears- to stop. She knew better than to ask their cause… for Buffy herself did not want to know.

When Buffy and Faith awakened the next morning, they didn't' speak about their dreams; even hours later, neither would be capable of doing so without losing control, letting go fo the hope and determination they had to tell themselves repeatedly that they possessed. Instead, Buffy moved Faith's hair aside to kiss her exposed neck, and after a few moments of just lying there together, they got up, steeling themselves to face the day that lay ahead of them.

Buffy tried to shove the details from her dream out of her mind, to tell herself that they meant nothing… but she knew very well the chances of this being true were miniscule. Beside the details and general tone to it, there was the unavoidable fact that Faith too had had a nightmare… and though she had not spoken of it, and Buffy had not asked, the strong implication- and the only one Buffy could believe with any certainty- was that it had probably been the same one she'd had.

Buffy tried to tell herself that this wasn't necessarily true. God knows Faith had experienced a plethora of horrors in her life, any one of them enough to give her the sort of vivid nightmare she'd obviously had last night. And her own dream wasn't necessarily prophetic… of course it wasn't.

But she didn't ask Faith about her dream… for she dreaded with a vivid fear that she might have her self-reassurances blown. And she still could not divert her mind from Glory. They had not heard from her since she had sent the snake to find Dawn, nearly two days ago. Surely Glory had been furious when her snake did not return… surely she would have found its body by now, or had her henchmen do it for her. Was she going to send another snake- or something even worse? Or did she have a different plan now- one that they might not be able to defend against? How much did she suspect that the Slayers knew about the key?

There was no way she could know, save seeking out Glory herself… and that was what really troubled Buffy.

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The next day passed with fairly normal near monotony, considering all that was going on. Joyce and Giles, after debating, both went to work, though they arrived late, after first stopping to see Dawn again in the hospital. Buffy skipped two out of her four classes to go see Dawn as well; she felt guilty about the two classes she did attend, as if she were betraying Dawn and her safety and well-being, but as many classes as she had skipped this semester, she was going to fail or end up with some incompletes if she wasn't careful. Willow, of course, took notes for her in the classes they shared, but actual attendance was also a necessity at least somewhat.

Though far from cheery and pleased to see them, Dawn did seem better when Buffy and Faith went to see her again, as though she were learning to cope with the shock of what she now knew. Admittedly she was sarcastic and bitter, sometimes deliberately hurtful in the things she said- but that was preferable to the dazed, shell-shocked mess she had been the night she had hurt herself. She certainly didn't seem suicidal… Buffy almost would have thought her more inclined to inflict harm on her or Faith than herself now. Dawn seemed to be dealing remarkably well…

Almost too well. Talking to her, hearing her cold replies and looking into her hardened blue eyes, Buffy was almost chilled. It was as if Dawn no longer cared about anyone or anything anymore, had lost faith in everything she had once taken for granted to be true and good in her life. She looked as if she no longer admired or felt affection for anyone… maybe no longer loved anyone.

Buffy looked at her, and was reminded of Faith… Faith, when she had been pushed dangerously close to her snapping point. Faith, before Buffy had been able to reach her… before either of them realized how badly they wanted Buffy to. And that terrified her… for she remembered all too well what had happened between her and Faith when she hadn't.

Though Faith didn't say anything to her about it, Buffy knew she could see the changes in Dawn, probably understood and was troubled by them more than Buffy would comprehend herself. She saw the way Faith's eyes faded when she looked at Dawn and got a flat, uncaring stare back, the way her shoulders hunched forward slightly, and she knew that Faith too remembered… Faith was shaken by what they had done.

The thing was… with Faith, it had been an act. All her displays of anger and apathetic bitterness and uncaring… all of it had been a cover, a way of hiding her true longings and despair, her desire for someone to reach out and help her in a way no one had before. But with Dawn… Buffy was not at all sure that this was what she was doing. For it seemed the more everyone tried to show her how much they cared about her, the more she struck back at them- the more she pulled away….

"Give her time," Ben had said, when the girls had spoken to him again, trying to fish for anything important Dawn might have confided in her apparent crush. "She's working through her emotions. It's not that she doesn't love you… it's just that, sometimes it's safest to take out your harshest feelings on those you DO love, because you know it's safe to do so. You know they'll still love you, and when you feel better, you can just apologize and go back to how it was."

On one level, what he said made sense… but it made things no easier to deal with. And on the other hand, what if he was wrong… what if they really had changed Dawn for good, scarred her so badly she truly did no longer care what happened to anyone… even herself?

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Sixty hours after being checked into the Sunnydale Hospital, Dawn was being checked out, after considerable string-pulling from Giles and some conferences between Joyce and her doctors and the man who had acted as her psychiatrist while she was in the hospital. The staff had apparently decided that she was no longer a danger to herself, and so with an anti-anxiety medication, a 

referral to a psychologist, and dates set up to remove her stitches and check up on her, Dawn was released.

Of course, Willow, Xander, and the others were all eager to see her; they had not been able to see her in the hospital, and they all wanted to make sure she was okay. They had all been told to stay away for at least a day, to give her some space… and that was what Joyce, Giles, and the girls had been doing as well. It seemed that this was all Dawn wanted or could accept from them.

Upon bringing her home, Dawn had headed straight for her room and shut the door. Both Buffy and Faith had been concerned, instinctively wanting to follow her… they remembered all too well what had happened the last time she had done this. But Joyce had reassured them, telling them that they had to show Dawn that they trusted her- even as they saw the flicker of her own worry in her eyes.

Buffy and Faith had obeyed her advice somewhat uneasily, assuming that Joyce knew what she was talking about. But after several hours they had grown uneasy enough to knock on Dawn's door and ask to talk to her. Her growing response for them to go away, while assuring them that she was alive, did little to ease their concerns.

And so it had continued for the rest of the day. Dawn did not leave her room, was clearly still angry, even as her voice strained for civility. When it was time for dinner, Joyce insisted she join them at the table. Dawn was very quiet, almost entirely silent, and she deflected their attempts to engage her in conversation. She had not been openly rude so much as passive-aggressive, and she returned to her room as soon as she was finished eating. By 8:30, she was announcing that she was going to bed.

By then, Buffy and Faith were frustrated as well as exasperated. They had wanted to talk to Dawn, but Joyce had again quietly advised them to leave her alone- at least for her first day back.

"If she's still being like this tomorrow, then yes, she needs to be spoken to- with you two, and I myself will speak to her too," Joyce said quietly, looking from one girl to another as she stacked dishes in the sink. "But let's give her this one day to brood a while… she seems to need it. Why don't you girls go patrol for a while? We'll be fine here for a few hours- and maybe with you two gone, I can get her to talk to me."

She looked at Faith subtly but significantly when she said this, and Buffy knew that her mother was thinking how this method had worked for Faith before, when she was troubled and upset and had behaved not so very differently from Dawn. And so the girls had headed out with ambiguous feelings about it, hoping that she was right- and that there would be plenty of nice, distracting vampires out…


	8. Chapter 8

Bonded

Chapter 8

Author notes: Okay… so another slightly non-eventful chapter… and yes action will happen soon.

As Buffy and Faith had hoped, there were plenty of vampires out and about when they went out on patrol. In the first hour they had dusted twelve or thirteen- probably courtesy of an overflow from yesterday, when they had played slaying hooky. Keyed up from the exertion and the resulting adrenaline it had given them, they decided to spend the next hour or so left of their patrol time at the Bronze, where they could both work off their energy in an extremely pleasurable way, and also keep an eye out for vampires going after naïve young people. Other than cemeteries, the Bronze was the most popular undead haunt in Sunnydale.

Stakes subtly stowed, the girls made their way into the crowded, dimly lit club, squeezing past everyone out into the middle of the dance floor. As Faith put her hands to Buffy's hips, grinding herself against Buffy's backside from behind, Buffy almost forgot the vampire-watching part of their plan. She gave herself over to the intense thrill of Faith's body rubbing itself against hers, moving herself in rhythm with the strong, steady beat of the music pounding around them. She felt Faith's hands gliding down her hips to her thighs, than sliding slowly up her sides in tantalizing slowness that made Buffy shiver, her heart speeding up…

Out on the dance floor with Faith, she had forgotten vampires, forgotten she was a Slayer supposedly on patrol, forgotten everything but Faith and how good it felt to be dancing up against her. She would have guessed from Faith's heavy breathing and easily moving hands on her body that she too had forgotten their purpose for being here…

But apparently Faith hadn't… for suddenly she gasped, her body stiffening instantly as her hands froze on Buffy's hips. Though Buffy had her back to her, she could tell from the way that Faith was tensing that she was looking at something slightly off before them in the throng of dancing couples, something clearly not of the good.

"Faith, what is it?" Buffy asked quickly, turning her head to look at her somewhat anxiously. "Vampire?"

"Oh, it's a fuckin' vampire, all right," Faith replied darkly, and her words were almost a hiss. "Look!"

She jerked her head in the direction, and Buffy could feel the anger in her growing now, could feel the rage beginning to run through Faith in a powerful rush as she turned to find what Faith had noticed. And as soon as Buffy realized what she was seeing, she felt her own shock kick in… along with her own indignant, quickly intensifying fury.

Buffy could see the vampire now… even with his human face on, it was obvious from his clothing choice that his teenaged years had been some time in the eighties. Did vampires EVER adapt to human clothing trends? But it was not his clothes, or even his vampire status- that shocked Buffy, or Faith either for that matter.

It was the girl- the victim- that the vamp had chosen for himself, the girl who was clinging to him, giggling beaming up into his face with a loose, slightly tipsy smile. A girl whose sexy, see-through long-sleeved shirt- a shirt that had not originally resided in her own closet- hid her bandaged wrists partially. It was the fact that the girl rapidly making herself a late night snack was Dawn…

For a few seconds, Buffy just stared, sure that some combination of the music, the lights, and her post-slaying mindset was playing tricks on her… surely she wasn't really seeing what she was seeing. Surely that wasn't HER sister, her fourteen-year-old sister, the one supposedly sulking in bed… that garishly made up, trashily dressed- well, on her, on Buffy, of course, it was sexy- suspiciously drunk-appearing girl surely wasn't Dawn…

But then the vampire had her by the wrist, was whispering in her ear… and the girl was following him without question as he led her to a side door, a side door that led out the alley.

Yep, it was Dawn. And she seemed to be going out of her way to break every single one of the 'vampire safety laws' Buffy had been throwing at her for the past three years. Only it hadn't really been three years… and only she really hadn't… only…

Now was not the time to go down the confusing path of thought regarding Dawn's existence, and Faith made that all too clear to her as she swore loudly, dropping her hands away from Buffy so fast she stumbled, almost falling. She could see Faith pushing her way roughly through the crowd, completely ignoring and not caring about the indignant, startled looks she was getting as she shoved past people. Snapping back into focus, Buffy started to follow her with only slightly less harshness in her maneuvering, finally catching up to her just as Faith flung open the side door. As they spilled out into the alley, they could see the two figures up in its corner…

The vampire had an arm around Dawn, was stroking her slim waist with his thumb, caressing the sheer fabric of her- well, her sister's- shirt. With his other hand he was tilting her face up, as if to kiss her… and Dawn's eyes were closed, she was leaned against him, completely oblivious to the fact that he was soon to be changing more than just his kissing method when he vamped out in front of her…

Both Buffy and Faith ran to them, but it was Faith who pried the vampire's hands off of Dawn with full Slayer strength, who seized him and slung him against the wall. As he hit the wall, then the alley floor with an audible gasp of shock and pain, Faith was upon him, straddling his waist while pinning his legs down with one of her own. The way she was positioning herself to exert full domination over his body looked awkward and uncomfortable, but it didn't seem to faze Faith in the slightest as she began to scream at him, punctuating each word with a blow to his chest, lower abdomen, face, or head.

"DON'T. YOU. EVER. LAY. A. FUCKIN'. HAND. ON.HER! DON'T YOU EVER!"

She stopped hitting and speaking with any sort of rhythm after only a few seconds, her fists alternating rapidly, and her words flew out in a furious stream as she struck the barely struggling creature below her repeatedly.

"You're gonna fuckin' DIE for that, I'm gonna fuckin' KILL you! Don't you EVER- you want blood, I'll GIVE you fuckin' blood, you're gonna taste it until you scream, you're gonna-"

Buffy, seeing the wildness of Faith's swings, the fact that she was not pulling out her stake to quickly finish him off, recognized the borderline crazed nature of her words and behavior… for it was rather similar to how she herself had been, with Glory's snake. Seeing this and knowing that the vampire's death might take some time- for it seemed that Faith would not be content to dust him until she had to 

first beat him into a bloody pulp- Buffy had grabbed Dawn and dragged her down the alley, away from them and the line of fistwork.

At first Dawn had been too dumbstruck by the turn of events to do more than gawk, blinking in disbelief as Buffy led her slightly stumbling figure far away from Faith's pummeling. But as Buffy kept a firm grasp on her shoulders, Dawn started after a few seconds to fight her, squirming and squawking in infuriated protest.

"No! Faith, STOP, leave him ALONE, STOP! BUFFY LET ME GO!!" she shrieked, writhing somewhat clumsily so that Buffy had to tighten her arms around her.

"Dawn, stop it!" Buffy called out to her fiercely, even as her eyes flitted over to regard Faith's endeavors anxiously. "You're going to hurt yourself! She's got it under control, she-"

"She's hurting him!" Dawn screeched, struggling against Buffy more strongly now, trying to elbow her in the stomach, to step on her feet or kick her shins. "She's crazy, she's gonna kill him, let me go! I hate you, I hate you both! She's gonna KILL him! BUFFY LET ME GO-"

Just then the vampire's face shifted, his eyes going yellow, fangs popping out as Faith nailed him in the face again. Dawn's eyes bulged in nearly comical horror, and she stopped her fighting immediately, standing limply under Buffy's hands.

"Oh god…" she breathed, her voice high and slightly squeaky with her realization.

Buffy, seeing her giving up her resistance, took the opportunity to wrap an arm around Dawn's middle, pulling her tight against her both in an effort to better protect her, and to reassure them both. Her arms shook slightly; even as she was glad that Dawn was okay, that there didn't seem to be any lasting damage done to her, she wanted to kill her- or at least to pull her hair as hard as she could, maybe pinch her. How could she have DONE this, how could she be so careless and stupid, so selfish, when she knew what she was, knew what was going on, why she had to stay safe…

Even as her anger with Dawn meshed oddly with her relief for her safety, Buffy was also keeping an eye on Faith apprehensively… she was really starting to worry about her. The younger Slayer was still pounding her fists into the vampire relentlessly, no longer yelling or speaking at all, but rather just hitting him grimly, her face set into such darkness of expression that Buffy's heart actually skipped a beat watching her. The vampire had stopped fighting back long ago, had even stopped begging her to let up on him. He was just gasping in obvious pain now with each blow, the blood covering his face and Faith's knuckles. Buffy couldn't tell if all of it was the vampire's, or if some of it was Faith's as well, but the sight was beginning to sicken her. She could hear the vampire coughing up his own blood, could feel Dawn beginning to shake under her hands, as she watched Faith with wide, frightened, yet also almost awed eyes.

"Faith," Buffy called out to her finally, her voice dry, and she had to clear her throat, try again to make it where the other girl would hear her. "Faith, baby, just finish him off… Dawn's okay, you've hurt him. You're… you're scaring her, baby…"

She was scaring Buffy a little too, but Buffy didn't say that. She just called Faith's name again, holding Dawn tight against her and hoping that Faith would stop, would look up at them long enough to come back to herself. The sense of de ja vu in the moment was strong, eerie… and highly unsettling.

After calling out to her one more time, Faith finally did halt in her blows, looking over at them. She was breathing heavily, her chest heaving with the force of her noisy respiration… and the look in her eyes froze Buffy, made her heart squeeze tightly in her chest. Not for its wildness, but for the pain and fear that glittered so clearly in their depths…

Faith looked from Buffy to Dawn for a few seconds, still breathing harshly… then, something shifted faintly in her expression. Looking down at the choking vampire beneath her, she deliberately, with great brutal emphasis, took out her stake, driving it hard into his heart. As he turned into dust beneath her, Faith's hands and knees hit the alley floor, but she did not get up. Instead, she slumped over, turned slightly away from them, her hair falling forward to conceal most of her face. Buffy could see her shoulders still shaking from behind, could hear her raspy gasping breaths, and she thought at first that Faith was crying.

Her heart twisting, Buffy started to move forward quickly, dragging Dawn after her. She intended to drop to her knees beside her, to put her arms around her and comfort her…

But comfort was apparently the last thing Faith wanted or needed in that moment. For just as Buffy let go of Dawn, was starting to kneel beside her, Faith stood up so abruptly they almost collided. Barely seeming to notice, and definitely not pausing in her actions, Faith rapidly covered the few steps over to Dawn. Grabbing her by her shoulders, she forced her up against the alley wall none too gently, holding her there as she started to scream at her in a voice that displayed only fury, even as she looked at her with eyes that crossed through worry, fear, pain, and betrayal.

"How could you do this, how could you be so damn STUPID?!" Faith shrieked, giving Dawn a fierce little shake for emphasis as she glared into her eyes, her own dark eyes ones sparking with ominous feeling. "What the hell were you THINKING- how the hell COULD you have been thinking?! Do you want to DIE, Dawn, is that what you want?! Is this your cowardly, fucked-up way of tryin' to kill yourself again, is that what's goin' on with you?! Is that the plan?! Do we need to watch you every fuckin' second, like a fuckin' infant- do we need to handcuff you to your mother, or ship your ass back to the fuckin' hospital again?! Why the FUCK would you do that, what the FUCK is wrong with you?!" she screeched, giving her another hard shake for emphasis.

Buffy had started to move quickly, with instinctive alarm and protectiveness when she saw Faith grab Dawn, starting to lay into her, but as she looked at her more closely, making sure she wasn't really hurting Dawn, and heard what she was saying- even if it was said very aggressively and at top volume- she instead remained a distance away, just continuing to watch them carefully in case she did need to interfere. After all, what Faith was saying was perfectly true, no less than she herself thought and felt… and Buffy had been more than eager to lay into Dawn herself before Faith beat her to it. She knew as well how upset Faith had been to see Dawn behaving as she had, putting herself in so much danger, and how riled up she could get after a slaying- especially one where someone she loved had been threatened.

And of course, Faith's incredulous remarks about Dawn trying to kill herself were also true concerns for the both of them, not simply expressions of frustration yelled out in the heat of the moment. If this were true… if Dawn were really trying to kill herself- then they needed to know, and they needed to know now.

So Buffy stood apart, once again letting Faith run the show as far as confronting Dawn was concerned… in a way, it was almost a relief to be able to let her be in charge, to bleed out some of her own negative emotions by watching Faith release hers, not having to actually scream and be aggressive with Dawn herself.

When Faith paused to take a breath, Dawn was gawking back at her, her eyes wide and actually frightened in her small pale face. She was pressing herself back into the wall, as if she were trying to shrink away from Faith's touch, from her angry gaze and loud, confrontational words. Dawn's eyes darted from her to Buffy to the end of the alley, then to the spot where the vampire had been dusted, and Buffy realized she had never seen them on patrol before suddenly, never saw a vampire die. Dawn blinked several times, seeming to be not quite able to believe what was happening around her.

"I-I didn't mean… I mean, I thought, I didn't know… I thought…"

"No you DIDN'T think- it's OBVIOUS you didn't fuckin' think!" Faith snapped back, taking one hand off Dawn's shoulder to gesture at her rapidly. "Just LOOK at you! Look at what you're fuckin' WEARING, what you've been DOING… you've been DRINKING, Dawn!"

"One beer! I'm not DRUNK, it was ONE BEER!" Dawn protested indignantly. "And what _about_ what I'm wearing, Faith, it's BUFFY'S shirt… so are you saying your own girlfriend's a slut or something?!"

"One beer for a ninety pound fourteen-year-old lightweight sure doesn't help any in keepin' you sober!" Faith yelled back, wisely choosing to ignore what Dawn's rebuttal of her attack of her clothing choice had informed her of. "Don't give me that shit about not bein' drunk, you're not supposed to be out drinking and slobbering on some random asshole guy at all! You're supposed to be HOME, you're supposed to be SAFE, you're… we've been putting our asses on the line to protect you every damn day, Dawn, and here you are, not givin' a shit, just throwin' it right back in our faces-"

"Stop yelling at me!" Dawn hissed, glaring up at Faith fiercely, but Buffy saw the fear still glittering beneath her anger, the uncertainty and need that was almost screaming for them to tell her what she really needed to hear. "Let go of me, let me go, NOW!"

"No, Dawn, I won't!" Faith hissed, and she gave the younger girl another little shake. "Not until you fuckin' LISTEN to me! You think it doesn't matter, that what you do doesn't affect anyone but you? Well you're very fuckin' wrong. Not only did you put YOURSELF in danger, you put US in danger, makin' us have to go after you, which puts EVERYONE in danger-"

"Looks like you could handle it," Dawn said sarcastically; her shock definitely seemed to have sobered her up, restoring her sarcasm and biting ways of late. "Looks like you ENJOYED it-"

"THAT IS NOT THE FUCKIN' POINT, DAWN!" Faith screamed, and Dawn flinched. Buffy could see the hurt flicker briefly across the younger Slayer's eyes, and knew that despite her words and volume, Dawn's baiting had hurt her.

"That's not the point," Faith repeated more calmly, after taking a deep breath and forcing herself to move her face back a little, to loosen her grip on Dawn's scrawny shoulders. "The point is, you're putting yourself in danger, you're sneaking out, you're lying to us, to your mom, you're makin' us go out and save your ass when we could be saving other people's. And WHY? WHY the hell are you doin' this, Dawn- 'cause you're pissed at us you think it's okay to act like this? You think it's okay to go out and drink and show off your freakin' training bra and suck on strangers- VAMPIRE strangers- like a kiddy prostitute?!"

"Yeah! Yeah, maybe I do!" Dawn shot back, her voice rising. "If I'm modeling after YOU, following YOUR good example, then of course it's okay! This is exactly what YOU did, Faith- you did the exact same things, you did WORSE things, and probably when you were even younger than me, DEFINITELY when you were my age! How the hell do you get off yelling at ME about what I do, when you did the exact same thing?! You drank, and I know it was more than one beer! YOU danced with guys- YOU let them kiss you, you probably had SEX with more than you can remember, let alone just KISSING! And YOU dressed like this- only on you even WORSE, because you actually had the cleavage to show off with it! So how the hell can you stand there and lecture me about morals- YOU, who freaking KILLED people?!"

Buffy saw immediately how Faith froze, her body going rigid at Dawn's words… as her eyes darkened, her face slackening slightly, it was clear that the younger girl's words had shaken her, hurt her deeply. Buffy's emotions had been sliding back and forth between sympathy for Dawn and Faith, as well as anger at both, but now, hearing the deliberate cruelty of Dawn's words and tone, seeing Faith's immediate reaction, her anger took presidence.

"Dawn Marie Summers, how DARE you say that to her!" she hissed, quickly going closer to them. Faith's hands slid off of Dawn's shoulders at her words, and Buffy moved to take hold of them in her stead, giving Dawn her own furious stare and vicious, almost spitting words. "If you EVER-"

"No, B, it's okay," Faith stopped her suddenly, and her voice was quiet, more subdued, but serious. She put a hand on Buffy's arm, and as Buffy looked over at her quickly, confused, trying to read her emotions, Faith looked her in the eye.

"Thanks… but it's okay. Let me talk to her, alright?"

Buffy's eyebrows drew together as she searched Faith's eyes, trying to determine what she was really feeling and thinking. But when Faith looked back at her steadily, her aura still subdued, but determined, Buffy nodded slowly, once more stepping aside and taking a deep breath. Faith was right… this was for her to handle. If they were going to repair what had been said- if they were going to sort out their currently fractured relationships- she would have to let Faith speak for herself.

As Faith met Dawn's hostile, yet still shaken, fearful blue eyes steadily, there was no longer any anger in her gaze or her tone. There was only a quiet, measured seriousness, a determination and resolve that even Dawn must have seen.

"You're right, Dusk… you're right. I did do all that, like you said, and worse… I did stuff you probably would never even think of," Faith said quietly. "I did it… and look at me, Dusk. Look at where it got me."

Faith breathed in slowly, and for a moment Buffy thought she was finished, that she was too emotional to go on. But no, she spoke again after a few seconds, her voice still as even and in control as before.

"I did everything you said and a lot more, Dusk… I did a lot of fucked up shit, I got in trouble, I didn't trust anyone to get me out of it. And what ended up happenin', Dusk? Come on, don't be shy- you said it earlier. I killed people," she said , still looking straight into Dawn's eyes. "Men… I killed men. I killed them, and I didn't even care at the time. I went evil… and then, I almost died," Faith concluded very softly, not looking at Buffy…she was only looking into Dawn's ever-widening eyes. "And I didn't care… because by then, that was what I wanted."

For a few moments Faith looked away, taking a deep breath. Buffy could see her shoulders hunch inward slightly, saw them moving slowly as she loosened her hold on Dawn even further, carefully looking away from her. She realized suddenly that something about Faith's posture, the length of time 

she was taking before speaking, made it seem as if she were about to cry, or trying hard not to… and sure enough, when she spoke at last, her voice was very hoarse, cracking slightly at the end.

"I… I don't want that to happen to you, Dusk… any of that. I don't' want you to… to do what I did. To feel like I felt… I don't want you to look at me and think it's okay. I don't.. I don't want you to be anything like me, Dusk," Faith almost whispered, and Buffy could hear the tears clogging her throat, could see them shimmering, not quite falling, in her eyes. "I… I want you to be better than me."

As Faith trailed off, looking away from Dawn again as she blinked, drawing herself under control, Buffy's heart wrenched for her. She was almost breathless, nearly in tears herself at Faith's words. She was touched deeply, strongly affected by them… for they gave her one of the strongest indications now, an audible, visible demonstration of how fully Faith had been changed… a truth she had known for some considerable time now, received proof of daily, but one that still never failed to gratify and amaze her. Her love and respect for Faith rose in her particularly strongly then, and she wanted to go to her and hug her tight, whisper how much she loved her, that it would be okay. She wanted to tell her she understood… but the truth was that this would be a lie. She could never fully understand… and so she just stood close to her, waiting for Faith to gather herself, waiting for Dawn's reaction.

And Dawn did have quite a surprising reaction, at least in Buffy's view. She expected her to scoff further, to say something sarcastic or belittling, to take the opportunity to shove them even further away from her. But no… Dawn seemed almost stunned. She was staring at Faith as if she could not understand her words, could not believe they had been spoken… something changed in her expression clearly. Several emotions passed through her eyes… incredulity, belief, awe, sadness… even guilt… and thought there was still anger, there was also a softness now, something that looked almost like relief.

"I… Faith…" she muttered, not meeting the older girl's eyes, just as Faith would no longer meet hers. "Look…I'm, I'm sorry…"

Neither girl could quite believe she had just said that… probably Dawn herself couldn't. Still, though reluctantly spoken, her sincerity was genuine, and Buffy looked up at her gently, attempting to make amends on her own terms as well.

"Dawn…" she began, taking a deep breath herself, steadying her voice before looking into her sister's eyes. "She… we don't want to make your life miserable. We didn't want to lie to you. We didn't want 

you to be upset or hurt by us not telling you… but we didn't want to scare you or upset you by telling you either. We… we just wanted to do what we thought would be best for you… we wanted to protect you. Maybe we were wrong… but we were trying to help you, Dawn. We never wanted this… this… this was what we were trying to avoid."

She took in another breath, let it out slowly. "We… we love you, Dawnie," Buffy told her shakily, we just want… we want you to be okay. Please… don't do things like this. Not… no just because it hurts us… but because it hurts you."

Drawing in a slightly shuddery breath for the third time, Buffy put her energy temporarily into willing back her rising tears. After a few moments, having them in control, but still feeling a tightness in her throat, she stepped closer to Faith. The brunette had let go of Dawn and stepped apart from her slightly; even as Buffy could see that she had her emotions contained again, she pulled her into a brief, but tight, comforting hug, suspecting that she herself needed it as much as Faith. When Faith hugged her back, just as hard, then pulled away, Buffy gave her a short, reassuring kiss before turning back to Dawn, who had been watching them with the same slightly wide-eyed thawing expression.

"I…I'm sorry," she repeated slowly, as if the words were foreign to her, or difficult to say. "I won't… I'll try… I mean…"

She seemed confused as to what it was she DID mean, what she did think and feel, and Buffy could understand why. Not excusing her for anything, there was a lot of information for Dawn to cope with, all bringing new emotions upon her that only entangled her with her older, more familiar ones. It could not be easy to feel such resentment, even hatred, for people she so strongly loved and admired…

"Let's just go home, okay?" Dawn said finally, and her voice shook slightly as well. She only glanced briefly at the two of them. Looking over at her, taking this as a peace offering of sorts, or at least the beginning of one, Buffy nodded.

"Okay Dawnie… " she said quietly, then more loudly and firmly, "but if Mom hears you or sees you come in with us… you're still totally taking the fall."

As Dawn made an attempt at giving her a dirty look, the three of them began to walk back to the Summers' house, with Buffy slipping a hand through Faith's arm, keeping her close to her in an attempt to continue to show her appreciation and support for her. Faith took Buffy's hand with her hand not attached to her Buffy-occupied arm, giving it a squeeze and smiling hesitantly but genuinely. A few steps ahead of them, Dawn was walking by herself slightly faster, as if she needed space… but she kept glancing back at them, her expression showing far more than simple anger or hostility now.

Holding herself close against Faith's side, Buffy smiled somewhat wearily. A dynamic had shifted slightly between them now, she could almost physically feel it. Dawn would come around eventually… Dawn would soften, and it would be okay again. Everything would eventually be okay… at least, she could hope.


	9. Chapter 9

Bonded

Chapter 9

The girls tried to be quiet as they entered through the back door of the Summers' house; Buffy half expected to see her mother standing at the foot of the stairs to greet them, frantic with worry and stress over Dawn's whereabouts. But fortunately, for Dawn, at any rate, this didn't happen. The house was very quiet… apparently Joyce was already asleep and had not noticed Dawn sneaking out. This, of course, was probably exactly why the younger girl had chosen to do so. Looked like she was getting off pretty easily, for now at least…

Both Slayers were starving after the nights' action- Buffy had actually heard Faith's stomach growl a few times- and they headed for the kitchen, pulling out leftovers from dinner, and in Faith's case, a box of Coco Krispies as well. Dawn had started to go upstairs to her room, but Buffy, not yet willing to let her out of her sight, took her by the elbow and tugged her into the kitchen after them, pushing her gently but firmly into one of the chairs.

Dawn had sat with little protest, seeming to still be resigned and just guilty enough to still do as Buffy and Faith told her. Although she refused offers of food, Faith made her drink from a glass of water; she had learned from experience that alcohol makes you dehydrated.

It had not been very much fun, sitting there eating with Dawn as she sat there silently, not speaking, barely glancing at them. She wasn't exactly sulking or scowling so much as brooding, though Buffy could tell from the set of her shoulders and the furrow of her brow that though Dawn might be reflecting on what she had done wrong, she still had not forgiven them entirely for what she felt THEY had done wrong.

It was very quiet as the older girls ate and Dawn sipped unenthusiastically at her water, a tentative, awkward air hanging about them. There was an unspoken attempt at a truce right now among them, a desire to tread carefully and not shake things up yet… but they all also knew that it was not yet firm or permanent, that there was still bridging to be done between them, wounds needing time to scar over. But at least they were at a beginning now, and they tried with their silence to preserve it, protect it.

As she sat there, her chair in between Dawn's and Faith's in placement, it occurred to Buffy that she felt as if she were sitting between them emotionally as well as physically. On one hand, she was still feeling her guilt for how Dawn had found out about herself in the first place, her knowledge that she, and mostly she alone, had started this inadvertently. As right and necessary as it may have been, she also hated the way Faith had now twice confronted Dawn for her behavior.

But on the other hand, she was still so hurt by Dawn's deliberate rebellion, her cruelty to Faith… hurt, and very pissed off, at least in part. It would have been bad enough if Dawn had said it just to Buffy, but for her to say it in front of Faith…

So thus torn between her conflicting feelings, Buffy had simply opted not to act out on either one of them, but rather to let them be until later. Still, she found herself watching both girls furtively, trying to sense their mindsets… Faith's in particular. Though Faith was seemingly only absorbed in her eating, Buffy knew how much what Dawn had said to her had bothered her, knew that it was probably still running through her mind.

In the past, if someone had said something so hurtful to Faith, Buffy knew she would have responded by striking back at them physically, or else running away, withdrawing to herself. But she no longer did that now… she had not done that tonight. Instead she had stood her ground- without violence. She had said what needed to be said… Buffy didn't know if she herself, in Faith's shoes, would have been able to do it. She was so proud of her that she could barely stand to sit still… and she really didn't like how quiet Faith was now, didn't like the possibility that she might be slipping into a form of withdrawal right now in front of her.

When Faith had finished eating, Buffy stood, taking her own plate and cup in one hand, and stepping over to stand beside her. Looking down at her, she squeezed Faith's shoulder tenderly with her unoccupied hand. When Faith glanced up at her, Buffy smiled at her softly, bending to kiss her cheek and then turning her face so it rested against Faith's for a second, not saying anything. She felt as well as heard Faith sigh a little, and Buffy's heart moved slightly as she squeezed Faith's shoulder again. Straightening, she picked up her dishes along with her own.

"Dawn, come help me wash these," she said quietly as she carried them to the sink, setting them down on the washing side.

Dawn, who had looked away a little too quickly when Buffy went to touch Faith, looked up then in surprise, her eyebrows drawing together in consternation.

"That's only like five dishes, Buffy."

"Exactly… so it won't take you two minutes to come help me wash them," Buffy countered, looking at her steadily.

Dawn seemed to swing rather decisively from her wavering emotions right back to one she was very familiar and at home with, one that probably seemed safe to her as compared to others at the moment… silly, petty arguing over common complaints with her older sister. Surely arguing over dishes was preferable to arguing their betrayals of each other, and yet would give her a chance to bleed off some stronger emotions at the same time. And so she scowled at Buffy with the bratty indignation of all younger sisters who refuse to be bossed by an older one.

"Why aren't you making FAITH help you wash them? You two were the ones who ate off of them, not me. Why do I have to-"

"Do I _need_ to remind you of all the shit you put us through tonight, Dawn?" Buffy cut her off, fixing her with a steely glare that instantly made her shut up and listen, though not exactly willingly. "Do I _seriously_ need to remind you that I'm still pissed off that you would do it-all of it? And is it really necessary for me to remind you that if Mom hears you right now and comes down and we tell her what happened, that you'll be in way bigger trouble then we're planning on giving you?"

Dawn just scowled at her, having no comeback to that… mainly because there wasn't one. She was stuck taking her sister's marching orders, and she knew it.

Her face darkening even further as she caught sight of Faith quickly stifling a grin, apparently getting some pleasure out of seeing this bit of sibling normalcy resuming itself, however temporarily, Dawn glared at her too before stalking noisily to Buffy at the sink, holding her half full glass of water in her hand. Buffy waited, figuring that she was going to pour it out and wash the glass as well… but as Dawn passed her, she jerked the hand holding the water glass suddenly. Water sloshed out over Buffy's shirt, splashing her face as well. As Buffy gasped, her body instinctively jerking from the sudden coldness sinking through her shirt, Dawn smirked broadly.

"Oops… guess my hand slipped…"

She placed her now nearly empty glass on the counter and picked up a spoon, beginning to run water over it with all the casualness she could muster. As Buffy stared at her, her wet shirt clinging to her chest, water dripping from her chin, shock quickly gave way to a sudden anger 

that would have startled her in its intensity before. It seemed all too appropriate now… she was no longer thinking of Dawn as an injured younger girl, no longer thinking how she was upset and confused, how she and Faith had wronged her. All she was thinking was that after all Dawn had done tonight, all she had put them through with her selfish stupidity, after Dawn had not so much as uttered a thank you… after all that, she had just topped it all off by throwing water on her.

In that moment, Dawn seized to be anything in Buffy's mind but her spoiled little sister… an ungrateful little sister who had just done something bratty one time too often. And without thinking about it, her anger and irritation welling up in her strongly, Buffy reacted accordingly.

Reaching across Dawn to pick up the glass, she splashed the remaining bit of water across Dawn's face in one swift motion. As Dawn drew in a sharp intake of breath, her eyes widening as water dripped now down her face too, Buffy smiled back at her in all innocence, her eyes gleaming.

"Oops… guess my hand slipped too. Funny how that is, huh…"

As Dawn glared at her, her eyes narrowing into a rather murderous expression, she glanced over quickly at where the water was still running in the sink over the spoon she was holding underneath it. Yanking the withdrawable water nozzle so that it was stretched out as far as it could go, Dawn aimed it directly at her sister, spraying her- and the cabinets, counters, and floor around her- with a steady stream of warm water.

Buffy screamed, trying to jump back from the water and quickly finding that there was nowhere to go- she was backed up against the sink and counters. Her chest heaving, she glowered furiously at Dawn, sputtering, then wrenched the nozzle from her hands, squirting her right back. Dawn shrieked in a loud, shrill cadence that was undoubtedly heard throughout most of the neighborhood, wrapping her hands around her sister's and struggling to pry them off the nozzle as water sprayed in all directions around the kitchen, wetting the girls and everything around them.

As all this had gone on, Faith had been sitting still in her chair at the kitchen table, shock and near horror flickering in her features. She seemed nervous, even a little scared, as if she expected them to give up on the water and spraying and just to start beating on each other. As Buffy and Dawn shrieked intermittently as the water hit them, Faith stood up quickly, her eyes large with confusion and near alarm as they darted between the tussling sisters.

"Hey! Hey, stop it… what the hell are you doin'?! Your mom's gonna hear you, she's gonna wake up, you better-"

Ignoring her words, but still turning toward her slightly as they pulled the running nozzle back and forth- in danger of ripping it entirely from the sink- Dawn and Buffy, in the process, squirted a stream of water directly into Faith's chest. As she made a hoarse noise of surprised indignation, Buffy and Dawn looked at each other, then Faith, in surprise, their hands loosening on the coveted nozzle. Hair hanging damply in their faces, wet shirts clinging to their chests- Dawn's shirt more see through and skanky-looking than ever- they both began to crack up in the same instant, laughing so hard and so loudly that their eyes began to water. Still holding the nozzle in a relaxed grip, they almost collapsed against each other, gasping with helpless, nearly hysterical laughter, water still spraying steadily around the kitchen.

Faith's eyes widened even further at their reaction, and at first she seemed even more anxious, as if she feared the other girls had lost their minds. But as they continued to giggle, showing no signs or stopping, Faith's eyes narrowed, and she glowered at them fiercely.

"Oh, so this is how we're gonna play it, huh? Then I say bring it ON, yo!"

She lunged at them both, easily snatching the nozzle from their loosened grasps and spraying first Dawn, then Buffy in the face. As they screamed, sputtering and leaping away from her, still laughing breathlessly, Faith grabbed Dawn around the waist and held the nozzle directly over her head so that water cascaded down shower-style over her, positively soaking her, and herself partly as well in the process. As Dawn screeched in a high pitch, squirming against her, but still laughing, her eyes glowing, Faith held her harder, calling out with her own eyes sparkling gleefully, "Say you give! Say you're sorry!"

"N-no! Never… let me go…" Dawn cried breathlessly, sputtering, and then as Faith continued to hold her hard against her, the nozzle still in place, "O-okay! I give… s-sorry…"

Faith let her go, her dimples showing widely with her grin… but no sooner had she released a sodding, slightly choking Dawn then she had grabbed Buffy, pulling her close to her and holding her tight around the waist as she pulled out the front of Buffy's shirt with her hand, sticking the water nozzle down it. Buffy screeched, her eyes growing wider than ever as water soaked down her chest, struggling against Faith. But Faith only pulled her more tightly against her, starting to laugh hoarsely herself, her heart rapidly beating against Buffy's back…

"What in the world IS this?! What is going ON in here?!"

The girls' heads jerked in shock toward the stunned, nearly frantic voice coming from the doorway to the kitchen… the voice belonging to Joyce Summers, who had no doubt been awakened and alarmed by all their noise. Standing there in her nightgown, her blonde curls wildly askew, she stared with something like incredulity and horror both in her expression, looking from the girls to the nearly flooded floor to the water spraying around the kitchen- the water Faith was still spraying down her older daughter's shirt- as if she could not believe that she wasn't dreaming.

The girls froze, their laughter cutting off abruptly at the sight of her as Faith's grip on both the nozzle and Buffy loosened, even as she let it keep running down Buffy's shirt. Dawn, who had been holding onto the sink, doubled over with laughter, looked up with panic stark in her rapidly paling features. Her head whipped about as if she had just realized what they had done, what their mother must be thinking.

Buffy's stomach dropped, and she swallowed, having no idea what must be running through her mother's mind. She could feel Faith stiffen against her, could see her eyes growing large, and she knew that the brunette was even more worried than she was over what Joyce might do.

As Joyce started towards them, her face now very serious, Faith went even more rigid beside her. Buffy knew, and she knew that Faith must know by now, that whatever Joyce did, it couldn't be too horrible… she would never hit or hurt them, physically at least. But even though Faith knew that, she still sometimes reacted instinctively as if she expected her to…something that, thanks to her past and particularly her mother, Buffy doubted she would ever be able to make completely go away.

Barely aware now of the water still spraying down her shirt, of Faith's hand still holding the nozzle there limply, Buffy took a step closer to her almost pleadingly, meeting Joyce's eyes guiltily.

"Mom- I, we, I mean-" she started at the same moment that Faith began, "Mrs. Summers-"

But Joyce had already reached them, by this point, coming to stand in front of them, and the look on her face stopped them. Buffy swallowed, and she knew without looking that Dawn must be 

too. Both of them knew this look too well not to realize that it was the prelude to extreme punishment…

Still not saying a word, Joyce met Faith's eyes deliberately, reaching for the nozzle in her hand. Faith let her take it, cringing slightly, her eyes wide, slightly scared… she looked like she thought Joyce would backhand her with it, or send her straight out the door never to return. Seeing the look on Faith's face scared Buffy more than potential trouble with her mother ever could… for she had hoped Faith was fully and entirely past that, even on an instinctual level.

As Joyce took the nozzle out of the front of Buffy's shirt, holding it so that it pointed downward to spray on the floor, she looked slowly and deliberately at each of the girls, still not saying a word. As their hearts seized up, mouths going dry with their dread of what she would say to them, she suddenly brought the nozzle up, spraying first Buffy, then Faith, and then Dawn in the face in rapid succession. As the girls alternately shrieked or sputtered, totally shocked by this action, their eyes wide and gawking at her, Joyce sprayed at each of them again, her grim expression abruptly dissolving into a wide smile.

From that point on, everything spiraled into a chaotic but relieved, noisily joyful water battle that went on for almost fifteen minutes. In the moment it didn't matter that it was late, that they were tired or confused, angry or upset…it didn't matter that the kitchen was practically flooded and that they no longer understood what was going on or why. All that mattered was that they were doing it, they were enjoying it… somehow, this bit of absolutely senseless silliness was helping to heal, to begin at bridging over their past hurts and betrayals of each other, in a way that active trying had not been able to yield.

They pushed and shoved and yanked at each other, fighting for control of the nozzle, kicking up water off the floor, filling up glasses only to slosh them in someone's face or pour down their backs… all the while shrieking, yelping, and in Faith's case, swearing, at the top of their lungs. But over all that, they were also laughing… laughing longer, harder, and more helplessly than they could remember doing in a very long time. And this was what registered…

By the time they finally shut the water off, they were breathless with their uncontrollable hilarium, sides aching, faces flushed, light-headed and slightly dizzy with their giddiness. All four were grinning hugely, their eyes shining… and Buffy actually had tears streaming down her face from the force of her laughing. She tried at first to wipe them away, but when she looked over at Faith and saw from the telling mascara streaks that she too was crying with laughter, Buffy just erupted all over again, gasping for breath.

By the time the four of them had gotten themselves mostly under control, only giggling or giving a little snort occasionally, the craziness of their situation would have stunned anyone who might have happened to walk in at the moment. The kitchen floor was practically entirely covered in water, slick and damp so that walking across it without slipping was feat nearly worthy of a stuntman. The counters, cabinets, table, window, chairs, and fridge were all splattered heavily with water as well. The women themselves were completely soaked, their clothes plastered to their skin, hair hanging in soggy strings in their faces. They were starting to shiver as the dampness of their clothes began to at last affect them as their wild energy began to fade. They finally began to look around themselves, as if they were just now realizing what they had just done.

Even so, none of them could wipe the beams off their faces… even the weirdness of the situation, the knowledge that it could not last, and could not solve everything, didn't' take away the thrill of the moment, the sense of rightness and security- the sense of peace- that they were feeling.

As Buffy looked around at the other three women, the women she regarded most dearly in her life, she felt such a strong wave of affection and love for them all that her chest actually ached with it, briefly dimming her joy with its intensity. She just wanted to squeeze them to her and never let them go, just keep this moment safe and vivid forever…

As they had gotten caught up in their water battle, they had been touching each other often and easily, their bodies brushing and overlapping as if they were all part of the same person… they had all been touching so instinctively, so entirely un-self-consciously, and this too was something that had been lacking lately, at least as far as Dawn was concerned. There had been no hesitation, no cringing or rebuffing…it had just been easy, just been so… so SOMETHING, something they had desperately needed.

And it was still going on, still carrying over, even with the hilarium beginning to die down. They were all still touching somebody else without even hardly realizing it, without thinking about it at all…

Joyce and Faith were leaned against the sink about a foot away from Buffy and Dawn, half supporting each other. Joyce still gave an occasional snort, and Faith was nearly dry-heaving, leaning a lot of her weight on the older woman with an arm loosely around her neck, Joyce's arm around her waist. With her free hand Joyce was still holding the now-dormant nozzle; every time she glanced at it, she gave a little involuntary snort again.

Slightly apart from them, Buffy and Dawn had slumped to the floor, not caring that they were sitting in a small pool of water. They were leaned into each other almost as much as Joyce and 

Faith were, and it took Buffy some time to realize this… that Dawn was touching her, almost embracing her in a way. Her body was close to Buffy's, her head bowed forward so that her forehead touched Buffy's shoulder…and she seemed okay with it, even to be enjoying it. Maybe she wasn't quite aware of it yet…but she also wasn't moving away.

Buffy held still, her laughter cutting off entirely as she hoped Dawn wouldn't pull away. She wanted to pull Dawn even closer, to hug her and whisper apologies, to tell her as well as show her how much she loved her. But she just stayed still, soaking up their physical contact, and hoping Dawn would not start to cringe away…

"I'm not even going to ask…" Joyce said finally, shaking her head as she looked about her at her very wet kitchen. "But you girls all know you're going to help me clean, right?"

Sucking in a slow, steadying breath, Joyce normalized her expression, her laughter gone, even as her lips were still curled up in a smile. She looked over at her daughter, then at Faith, who was trying to bring herself in control too and coughing as she did, almost sounding like she was choking.

"Honey, are you all right?" Joyce asked with some concern, rubbing her hand up and down Faith's back.

Faith nodded, drawing in a deep breath, and her near-glowing expression made it obvious that she was being honest.

"F-five by five…"

Joyce grinned, then hugged her impulsively, giving her a quick but warm kiss on her cheek. Faith's smile widened further, making her have the appearance of a silly, pleased five-year-old… a look so adorable and rare that Buffy almost started laughing all over again. Releasing her after a moment, Joyce turned to where her daughters remained slumped on each other, the pleasure in her eyes obvious. She didn't say anything; she just extended a hand to them, helping first Dawn, then Buffy, to their feet. She gave them both the same quick but very affectionate hug and kiss she'd given Faith, and when it was Buffy's turn, Buffy could almost physically feel her pride and relief that things seemed to be making a turn for the better.

As Joyce released her, turning back to Dawn, she shook her head ruefully. "So much for not wetting the stitches… we'll have to look those over just in case, sweetie. Girls, go get some old 

towels and a mop…Dawn, push your sleeves back and sit at the table, honey. I need to look at your bandages for you."

Joyce hadn't said anything about Dawn's skimpy attire, or what she was doing up so late… that probably played at least a small part in why Dawn obeyed without protest or cringing, simply sitting as her mother asked. As Buffy and Faith left the room, it seemed that the air had actually thinned out around them, less heavy now that the stress had been eased…

Going into the bathroom with the intention of getting towels, this intention was quickly forgotten as Buffy turned to Faith with a big smile, looking her in the eyes. Locking her arms around Faith's neck, entwining her fingers together, Buffy grinned up at her slightly, just enjoying how relaxed Faith's face was, how the tension had left her muscles. As Faith's arms went around Buffy's waist, holding her slightly to her, Buffy moved in closer, her arms still around her neck as she pressed her head under Faith's chin.

"I love you," she said quietly, seriously, even as her smile did not fade. She felt Faith's arms squeeze her tighter, and Faith answered in the same soft, almost solemn tone.

"I love you too, B…"

Buffy pulled back slightly, giving Faith a soft kiss on the chin- admittedly an odd place, but it was close by, and Faith didn't' seem to mind. Smiling back at her, Buffy's voice grew teasing as she focused on the mascara stains under Faith's eyes from her laughter-induced tears.

"Baby, how many times do I have to tell you…now that you're all soft, getting waterproof mascara is REALLY a must," Buffy needled her as she gently caressed a finger down Faith's cheek, tracing the black mark. Faith scowled at her, but Buffy could tell she wasn't really angry- she was in far too good a mood to be really pissed at her.

"Soft?! I'll show YOU fuckin' soft, blondie-"

"Yeah you will…" Buffy interrupted her, cutting her off with a firm, yet gentle kiss on the lips. Faith went along with it instantly, her hand running with a good amount of pressure up Buffy's back. The girls kissed for almost a full minute before they finally pulled away, their breathing slightly heavy.

"Yep," Buffy whispered, tracing the outline of Faith's lips while running the other hand over her hair. "You're definitely soft…"

It was another five minutes or so before it occurred to them that they were in the bathroom for a specific purpose- to get towels- and that they were also supposed to get a mop. And that Joyce would probably have no qualms about coming upstairs after them and banging on the door…

Grumbling a little, not truly feeling resentment though, they gathered up the towels and started toward the closet for a mop as well, still walking very closely to each other. They took their time with gathering them, with several playful comments about wet T-shirts bantered back and forth between them. Neither of them could stop smiling, could be anything but almost glowing. It had felt so good to let loose like that, so right and hopeful, as if they now knew for a fact that everything would be okay.

That is, until they were coming down the stairs, towels and mop in tow…and almost smacked straight into Glory at the bottom…


	10. Chapter 10

Bonded

Chapter 10

Buffy and Faith pulled themselves to an abrupt halt at the bottom of the stairs, dropping all that they were carrying instinctively to free up their hands. Instantly their bodies stiffened, going on the alert as they stared at the blonde, slightly smirking hell god blocking their path. As usual, Glory was clad in a tight, low-cut dress that would undoubtedly not hinder her movements in the slightest…

Oh shit, oh holy shit… Buffy thought almost frantically as she unwillingly sucked in her breath, wanting to both fight and run, to find her mother and Dawn and also to keep them out of Glory's sight… and where were they? Did they know she was here? She hadn't hurt them, had she…she hadn't…

"Hello, girls," Glory said in a tone that almost could have been described as breezy, if it weren't for the obvious, intense anger in her eyes. She shifted her weight slowly, putting her hand on her hip as she smiled at them sardonically. "I'd engage in the usual human pleasantries, but seeing as I'm not human, and I really don't care about being pleasant… I don't' see why I should have to participate in one of your stupid rituals. I think we'd all prefer if I'd just cut straight to the chase here, don't you think?"

She took a step closer to them, smiling in a way that was somehow both friendly, and yet very, very pissed… and when she spoke again, Glory's voice reflected the same sentiments. Her tone was soft, but also very dangerous…

"You see, girls, when I sent out my snake a couple of days ago, it never returned to me. I waited and waited for it, and it never came… and when I went out LOOKING for it, I found out that SOMEONE had chopped it up into little bloody pieces," she said slowly, menacingly, and though Buffy could feel how stiff Faith was beside her, she could not tell if this were from anger, fear, or both. "Someone murdered my snake, so he never did get a chance to tell me about the key… seems rather convenient, don't you agree?"

Glory took another step closer to them, her voice dropping even lower, turning into a near hiss. Though Buffy and Faith didn't move, both were wondering uneasily why she was moving, whether they should be attacking- or escaping.

"SOMEONE killed my snakes, girls… and SOMETHING tells me that it was YOU- the SLAYERS," she spat, her eyes narrowing suddenly and sharply, eyebrows drawing together. "You didn't' want it to find my key, to come back and tell me about it, so YOU stopped it… and you know what that makes me think? It makes me think that YOU know where the key is… it makes me think that you know WHAT it is…"

Buffy could feel her features freezing. She knew all too well, especially in light of what Anya had shared with them about her, that Glory was not going to simply state her suspicions and leave. No, she was going to stick around, she was going to do what she could to find the key… to get out of them where and what the key was…

Dawn… where WAS Dawn? Was she okay, did she know Glory was here- did Glory know Dawn was there? She didn't know that Dawn was the key… but that didn't mean that she wasn't able to find out or that Dawn might somehow give herself away if Glory found her…

Buffy could hear the slight change in Faith's breathing and knew she was having the same thoughts… she stepped slightly closer to her, hoping that together they could keep Glory distracted, keep her focus on them, so maybe Dawn could hide or escape. God… where WAS she, where was-

"Oh, you think so?" Faith said cockily, raising and eyebrow and sneering, even as Buffy knew she was subtly looking over Glory's shoulder, trying to think of a way to catch her off guard, to hit her and make an escape into the kitchen. "You mean you can think, Miss Gucci? To be so down on humans, you're really kind of a label whore, you know that? Too bad you can't pull off the look- maybe if you lost a few pounds…"

Glory's eyes narrowed; she looked almost feral in that moment, hateful, like a cat about to pounce upon particularly infuriating prey.

"Oh, I THINK, little girl… and now I want to share."

Quite suddenly, she seized Faith by the shoulders, her fingers digging harshly into her skin. She did not shake her or throw her, but merely pushed her face up close to the brunette's startled, quickly infuriated eyes. Buffy's quick attempts to peel her hands off Faith and shove her away did not move in her in the slightest, to her panic. If Glory saw Dawn- if she somehow found out who she was- how would she ever stand a chance?

"I'm going to ask you again," Glory said in a tone that was almost pleasant… even spoken through gritted teeth. "Where. Is. My. Key."

Over her shoulder to Buffy, who was pulling her arms and shoulders with increasing, if somewhat foolish, anger, she called out casually, "Keep that up and I just might let you see how VERY much I'm not in the mood for this- your little girlfriend here would make my point pretty clear…"

Buffy took her hands off Glory immediately, knowing that she would not be bluffing. Even as she watched them closely, ready to hit Glory with all she had if she did anything to hurt Faith, she felt so helpless… for there really did seem to be nothing she could do.

"I. Don't. Know." Faith said through gritted teeth, in the exact same tone that Glory had. She looked Glory as close to in her eyes as she could get in her position defiantly, as if daring her to challenge her response, even as they both knew she would…

Glory stared at her darkly, seeming to be trying with her eyes to bore through Faith into her mind. For a few moments Buffy was suddenly terrified, certain that Glory would do exactly that, would 'mind-suck' Faith into blankness out of anger and frustration at her defiance. But she didn't', for whatever reason… probably, Buffy thought, because she was afraid that if Faith DID know, her knowledge would be lost to Glory if Glory allowed her mind or body to be too badly harmed.

"Oh yeah?" she said back to Faith, her voice deadly quiet and dangerous. "If that's true, SLAYER… then you won't mind me having a little look around, right?"

At that, Glory released Faith abruptly, shoving her back against Buffy so that both girls stumbled, almost falling. Buffy's arms locked instinctively around Faith's waist in a fashion that was both protective, to keep her close and reassure them both, and practical, to keep them from falling over at the impact of her weight. She had barely done this before Glory had stalked out of the room, heading straight for the living room and kitchen.

Releasing Faith hurriedly, her heart leaping up her throat in alarm, Buffy took off after her, Faith a step behind. Obviously Glory hadn't seen Dawn and Joyce yet, or she would have been harassing them too… unless she'd already hurt them. While she and Faith were up there screwing around, laughing and kissing each other, she could have been down there with them,she could have hurt them, she could have-

No! NO, she couldn't think of that- no-

To her relief, as Buffy and Faith burst into the kitchen a few seconds later, barely catching themselves from slipping on the wet floor, they saw Joyce sitting at the kitchen table, seeming perfectly fine, if bewildered. Glory was standing in the middle of the floor, looking about in frustration at everything in the kitchen from the salt shakers to the window, clearly none the wiser as to where and what her desired key was.

But where WAS it- where was Dawn?! Buffy and Faith looked about frantically…but the fact remained that they simply did not see her. Had she run out the room, gone outside, maybe, before Glory came in? Was she hiding? Glory didn't seem to know that she had been there at all…

"Er… I'm afraid I don't' know who you are, or what you're doing standing here in my kitchen at this hour," Joyce said to Glory in a polite but baffled voice, giving her a tight little smile. "If there isn't some kind of emergency at hand, or if you aren't my daughters' friend, then I will have to ask you to leave…"

As Buffy and Faith both looked at Joyce incredulously then, Buffy thought at first that Joyce was sincere, that she truly didn't' realize who Glory was and so was acting accordingly. But as she met her mother's eyes, it became quickly apparent to Buffy that she did… Joyce Summers knew very well who the woman in her kitchen must be, and what it was that she wanted. Of course she was playing dumb… it was the smartest thing for her to do.

She knows where Dawn is, Buffy realized, and her relief at this was strong, almost overwhelming enough to cause her to sag with gratitude against Faith so near her. She knows… she knows, she's safe, she's just protecting her. She must have seen or heard us with Glory somehow, and she hid Dawn…

She tried not to look around the room, to give Glory ideas as she thought of where Dawn might be. The laundry room? In the food pantry, which was like a small room- under the sink? In the closet? Outside? There were only so many places someone her size could fit… Buffy hoped that Faith understood the same as she did, that she would not look around the room either.

Glory completely ignored Joyce's words to her; she didn't appear to notice the water all over the kitchen, but then, she hadn't noticed or cared that Buffy and Faith were wet either. Obviously, the only thing on her mind right now was the key… the key, and how to get her hands on it.

Her eyes darting about the kitchen, Glory's scowl deepened, and she only seemed to grow more frustrated. Letting out a little growl, Glory stalked into the living room for a few moments, looking around it rapidly. Coming back into the kitchen hurriedly, she made her way over to Joyce, who had just stood, starting to head over to Buffy and Faith. Knocking them both back against the sink with an impatient sweep of her arm, Glory grabbed Joyce, locking one arm tight around her waist, pinning her arms down, and the other partly around her neck. She turned toward the girls aggressively as Joyce's eyes widened, backing away from them with Joyce as her proffered threat.

"So…you're still thinking you don't know where my key is?" she said harshly, holding Joyce hard against her as she backed further out of their range, toward the doorway to the living room. "Does THIS give your memory a little jolt, maybe?"

She squeezed Joyce's neck, not hard enough to actually choke her, but enough that her eyes bulged slightly, and she gave a little cry of pain. Buffy stiffened, feeling her jaw tighten and her face heat with anger, but it was Faith who reacted immediately.

Throwing herself forward, Faith launched herself at Glory, all hot rage and righteous fury… but still holding Joyce to her casually, Glory kicked out one foot, catching Faith in her solar plexus. Faith flew across the room, smashing into the kitchen table and actually breaking it as she fell to the floor. She wasn't seriously injured, but she was clearly in pain, her breath knocked out of her. She wouldn't be able to get back up for a little while…

As Buffy gasped sharply, calling out Faith's name in horror, she didn't know what to do, who to go to… there was her mother, uninjured but currently in Glory's vengeful grasp. There was Faith, struggling to draw breath in the broken remnants of the table, her face pale and stunned with her pain. And there was Dawn… somewhere there was Dawn, and Buffy could not let Glory find her, could not let her get to her, above all else…

"Listen up, CHILD," Glory snapped, her rather Valley Girl voice sounding vicious now, almost unrecognizable. "I don't think you get how serious I am. I want my key. I don't' care what I have to do to get it… or what I have to do to your little friends, your little family, do you understand? So now that that's all clear to you… where is my key?"

She gave Joyce a little shake to emphasize her point, her hand still around her neck. Buffy wanted to rip Glory's hand off her, to simply twist her head off her shoulders and throw her body 

hard enough against the wall to dent it inward… but both would be impossible, and any attempts would result in Glory inflicting damage upon her, her mother, or Faith.

Still, better not to show how helpless she felt… better to be confident, to act as if she knows exactly what to do, how to defend herself and her loved ones…

Buffy looked Glory straight in the eye, putting all the steel and aggression she had in her tone and expression as she tried to sound very, very sure of herself. "You get your hands off my mother and get out of my house, or I'll-"

"You'll WHAT, little girl?" Glory sneered back at her, eyebrows arching in amusement. She wasn't intimidated in the slightest. "You're just a SLAYER- what is it YOU think you can do to ME, a GOD? What CAN you do to me- nothing! But maybe you'd better think real hard about what I can do to you, to all your fragile little human friends…"

She looked down pointedly at Joyce, who she was still holding hostage against her, and then over at Faith, who was standing up now, but still seeming to be concentrating on normalizing her breathing. Faith was not making a move toward Glory again, yet at least, and for that small favor Buffy was thankful. She didn't' want or need Faith getting herself hurt any worse right now.

Still looking Glory in the eye, keeping her voice low and as menacing as she could get it, though she knew deep down that it would do nothing, Buffy said to Glory sharply, "Get the hell out of my house. You're not getting your key here, so you better start looking elsewhere if you want it so badly, huh?"

Glory's eyebrows raised, and she smiled incredulously, actually giving off a dry little chuckle as she continued to hold Joyce against her. Joyce was staying quiet and still, but her eyes darted from her daughter to Faith rapidly, worry, fear, and dread flashing across their surface. She was very pointedly looking at nothing but the two girls- probably, Buffy realized, because she didn't' want to inadvertently give away where Dawn was…

"Oh, you think so, huh?" Glory replied, her tone as amused and humoring as her expression. "A little touchy, are we… you like to play it tough, but you get all huffy when the stakes are raised. Oh, I'll leave your house, SLAYER… but I'm not leaving YOU. I'll be here all the time… you're gonna see me in every corner, everywhere you look, in the faces of all your little friends… in the faces of each other. You're going to look into your girlfriend here's eyes, and all you'll see is me… and I'll get my key from you. You can count on that, SLAYER."

And with that, Glory deliberately took Joyce's head with the arm that had been locked around her waist… and still holding her neck with her other hand, she jerked her head to one side, snapping it with a horrible cracking noise that for a few moments, stopped both the Slayers' hearts…

Joyce's eyes bulged, and as her head fell, heavy, loosely lolling to the side, her neck broken, Glory let go of her casually, letting her fall to the floor at her feet in a puddle of water. Joyce lay there in a crumpled heap, unblinking… it could not have been more obvious to anyone in the room that she was dead.

Glory only stayed for a split second after she had killed her, just long enough to watch the blood drain from the girls' faces, to see the stark horror and shock sink into their eyes… and with a self-satisfied grin, she was gone, vanishing as abruptly as she had come. Which was a good thing… because not even three full seconds after she was gone, shrill screaming filled the air.

"NOOO! MOM…MOM, NO, MOM!"

It was coming from the kitchen pantry, a small, walk-in closet with a white door with slits in it, a door that, if one were hiding inside it, could easily peek out through between the slits and see what was going on. As soon as they heard it, the girls knew for sure where Dawn had been,where Joyce had hurriedly hidden her… and that she had seen the entire terrible scene.

Buffy couldn't move, couldn't think… this was Dawn all over again, Dawn bleeding in the bathroom as she stood immobile, and she could not bring herself to help… only this wasn't Dawn, this wasn't the same thing at all, no de ja vu. This was her mother… this was her mother, and she was dead. Glory had killed her…

She could hear Dawn screaming, her voice so raw and piercing in its grief and horror that Buffy knew she would be barely able to make a sound later in the day. She heard Faith's loud, painful intake of breath, heard her hoarse cry of denial as she ran to the older woman's unmoving form. She heard Faith's harsh sobbing, saw her shoulders heave with the violence of her crying as she pulled Joyce's head into her lap, trying to straighten out her neck, as if she could somehow undo it, make it right again.

"No…no, no, oh fuck, fuck, that fuckin' bitch… you can't do this, you can't fuckin' DO this!! Nooo…no…"

She saw and heard everything, and yet somehow it seemed unreal to her, as if it had nothing to do with her and her life. Somehow it all seemed very far away…

Leaving the kitchen, Buffy walked with slow, deliberate steps, carefully avoiding the water puddles, and made her way into the kitchen. Picking up the phone, she stared at it for a moment, not quite remembering what it was she had intended to do. As she carefully dialed 911, she felt light-headed, unsteady, as if any moment the ground would literally, as well as figuratively, give way underneath her…


	11. Chapter 11

Bonded

Chapter 11

As Buffy spoke to the woman on the emergency line, her voice was too calm, too quiet, too measured and careful… it was almost as if she felt that if she was exact enough in her replies, that they would no longer be real. She listened to herself as she spoke, heard the lies slip from her mouth so easily so emotionlessly, and she was entirely unmoved by them…

'Accident,' she told them. 'Our kitchen was wet, and my mother slipped on the floor, broke her neck…'

She didn't know to explain the broken table, so she didn't… when she hung up the phone, she simply went back to the kitchen and began to gather up the pieces grimly, carrying them to stow in the hall closet. It took several trips, but the ambulance at that point had not yet arrived. She did not go back into the kitchen…instead she went back to the living room to the phone, dialing Giles's number with her expression not so much as flickering. As she waited for him to pick up, knowing it would take him a while given the late hour, she felt nothing…nothing.

He answered on the sixth ring, sounding very groggy and disgruntled, his voice a mutter. "Yes…"

"You need to come over, Giles," Buffy said flatly, no emotion whatsoever in her tone, her eyes hard, yet somehow dull as well. "Right now."

She could hear his startled noise in the reaction on the other line, the way his voice cleared, instantly alert, alarmed.

"Buffy? What is it- is something- "

"Come over, Giles," Buffy repeated, and without waiting for his response, she hung up. As she slowly approached the kitchen once more, her eyes scanning over its interior, her heart beat in its usual normal speed in her chest, her eyes were dry. She still felt such stony calm, an emptiness, a lack of feeling or sense of connection to it all.

She still saw her mother's body on the floor, head cradled in Faith's lap…she saw her staring eyes, her slack mouth, the way her chest did not rise and fall. She saw the way her head seemed odd, heavy, on her broken neck, how Faith had to work to keep it straight…and she felt no horror, no grief or rage, only a distant sense that what she was seeing was wrong.

She could see Faith's devastation the way deep cries still ripped up from her throat, shuddering her body. She saw the tears streaming down her cheeks, heard her shrill, hurt whimpers, like a very young child or a wounded animal. She could see that her nose was running, that she looked broken and defeated in every way…but Buffy felt no instinctive urge to go to her, to hold her and comfort her, to cry with her. She felt no pain at seeing Faith's pain… she only felt a dull aching start at her temples in response to the noise.

Buffy could hear Dawn from where she was still concealed behind the pantry door; she was still weeping, but her screams had tapered off already, giving way to a steady, almost mewling crying that, though quieter, less frantic and stunned, was no less expressive of her grief… a grief that Buffy still could not feel. Buffy began to cross the room, going toward her. She was reacting to her, yes… though not on an emotional level, but rather a practical one. They couldn't have Dawn sitting in the closet when the paramedics came… that would look weird, they might have questions.

So for purely practical, very logic-based reasons, Buffy went to Dawn, pulling open the pantry door and looking down at her.

"Dawn," she said quietly. "You need to get out of the closet before the paramedics come. Maybe go up to bed."

Dawn looked up at her rapidly, her eyes wide, body jerking slightly when Buffy opened the door… for a moment she looked terrified, as if she expected to see Glory, expected to die.

As she realized it was only her sister, however her face crumpled once more, her fear-tight features sagging. Her small face pale in some places, red and splotchy in others, she looked at Buffy with desperate agony in her tear-filled eyes before launching herself at her, hugging her with such ferocity that Buffy actually forgot to breathe for a second. As Dawn cried against her, mashing her face into her shoulder and shaking with her sobs, Buffy slowly put her arms around her, her hands flat against Dawn's back. But somehow, even as her little sister's tears soaked hot and heavy through her shirt, even as she felt her body heave against her chest, she barely felt her at all.

Less than three minutes had passed since Buffy had called Giles, less than five since she had called the ambulance… but somehow Giles beat them there, came bursting through the door less than thirty seconds after Dawn had embedded herself into Buffy's arms. Buffy was vaguely aware of Dawn starting in shock as he burst through the front door, calling out to them… but all she could think rather numbly was that he must have been driving at an alarming speed to get there even before the paramedics.

As she called to him dully that they were in the kitchen, Giles must have heard the noise still issuing from inside it, must have realized that something was horribly, irreversibly wrong… but nothing could have prepared him for what he saw. As he appeared in the kitchen doorway, all words of questioning died on his lips, and he simply stood there, his features sagging, face paling as he staggered, seeming barely able to stand upright. He seemed hardly able to breathe… but all Buffy could think of was how untidy his hair was, how he was wearing a bathrobe.

For several moments he just stood there, sucking in a sharp breath… and then he staggered forward a few steps, his feet slapping heavily in puddles of water he did not seem to notice. His eyes were trained with sharp, unblinking horror on the head in Faith's lap, the body half curled up before her…

About a foot or two away from the pair, Giles dropped to his knees heavily, just staring…when he spoke, his words were hoarse, not clearly understandable at first.

"No…no, not Joyce…not her too… no, not again…"

He just stared for a few more seconds, slowly shaking his head, as if in a trance… he didn't ask what had happened, for in that moment, that didn't matter. Rupert Giles was for the second time in as many years looking at the broken body of a woman he had loved… a body deliberately and cruelly used to make a point.

Slowly, with shaking hands, he reached for her, attempting to take Joyce out of Faith's arms. Faith, of course, instinctively did not react well to that. A startled, protective little cry came from her throat, and she wrapped her arms more tightly around Joyce's head, clutching her to her chest. She didn't seem to recognize Giles; she didn't seem to recognize much of anything other than Joyce as she looked over at him in anguish, her face reddened considerably, smeared with tears and mucus.

Giles's dazed expression did not change as he looked back at her, but perhaps on some deeper instinctual level, he was nevertheless very gentle with her as he persisted in prying her arms away. Faith only resisted for a few moments before letting herself be moved aside, letting him take Joyce from her into his own arms. Still crying in shaking sobs that were, however, starting 

to weaken in their force, she slowly lay down beside them on the floor, curling herself into a ball. Beside her, Giles just held Joyce's head in his arms, touching her cheek… he was not speaking, not crying, just staring down at her with such helpless desolation that even in her far-off state, something twinged faintly in Buffy's heart.

The paramedics arrived less than two minutes later… it had only been six or seven minutes since Buffy called them, but it seemed an eternity, as if each second that passed had equaled a week or more of her life. When they came in upon them, bursting through with their equipment, they found them all in the same positions they had been in before. Buffy was holding Dawn loosely, numbly, the younger girl no longer crying, but keeping her face buried in Buffy's neck. Buffy could feel her body still quivering against her. Faith was still lying on the floor, her crying slowing mainly because she was already going hoarse, her voice raw and physically painful even after such a short period purely from the forceful intensity of her emotion. And Giles was very still, very silent… and still holding Joyce's body in his arms.

The paramedics took her from him quickly and carefully, but it was immediately apparent to them that nothing they could do would save Joyce Summers. There was nothing they could do for someone whose neck had been snapped…

Buffy could hear their voices murmuring, but she could not focus on their words. None of them mattered anyway… nothing they could say would make this right. Nothing would her back…

It wasn't until one of the paramedics came to her and spoke to her directly that she could pull her thoughts together enough to respond, and even then it took an effort she had not quite believed. They were asking if she was the one who had called…

"Yes," she replied slowly. "Yes, that was me…"

They were looking at her with a sympathy she was only dully aware of at her, and at Dawn still tightly wrapped in her arms. Dawn had not looked up one time since Giles had come in… it was almost as though she were trying to convince herself that if she could not see it, none of it was there, none of it had happened.

"I'm sorry, miss, but I'm afraid that your mother has passed away…"

Just one sentence, so softly spoken… one sentence would never be enough to convey the depth of what had happened. There could never be enough words to explain, to fully cover what this meant…

"We're trying to understand what has happened here, miss… can you explain to us what happened, how your mother…was injured?"

And without a second thought, the same lie came from Buffy's mouth, so easily and without hesitation that she almost believed it herself, even without emotion to back it up.

"We were having a water fight, at the sink… and my mother slipped. She hit her neck on the counter…"

Their expressions did not change; if anything, whether from the blank shock splayed across Buffy's features, the obvious grief of Faith and Dawn, and the way that Giles had not moved since they took Joyce from him, only seemed to convince them of the truth of her words.

"The coroner will be coming for your mother… it may take him a while, and during this time you should not move or touch the body. You may want to get your sisters to bed… are they yours sisters, miss?" one of the paramedics asked softly, looking from Faith to Dawn with sympathy. "You will also have to be asked some questions by the police as well…it's standard procedure when someone does not die a natural death."

Still crouched over her awkwardly, looking down at her from where she and Dawn were huddled on the floor, he touched Buffy's shoulder, the one not currently hiding Dawn's face.

"I'm sorry for your loss…we have to leave now, we're getting in another call. Is there someone you can call… is he…" he looked toward Giles, who was finally beginning to stir, getting to his feet and speaking to another paramedic who was addressing him in the same manner that Buffy was being spoken to.

"Yes," Buffy said shortly, even as her eyes drifted past the paramedics, back to her mother on the floor. "Yes, he is…we're fine… we'll be fine…"

They left them, again expressing their sympathies… and for several moments, none of them moved; Buffy and Giles scarcely seemed to be breathing.

After a space of time that was probably in reality less time than it felt like to all present, Giles made the first move. He went over to Faith, who was still lying nearly fetally on the floor, steady tears still streaming, her hair sodden around her face and sticking to it in thick strands. Slowly, squatting down beside her, he spoke to her… but his attempts at comfort and gentle, fatherly caring were feeble, his voice vague and uncertain.

"Faith… Faith, come on, child… let's sit you up…"

He reached for her tentatively, gingerly touching her shoulder…but Faith jerked, flinching and curling up tighter, as if she expected to be hit, or maybe simply could not in that moment stand to have anyone trying to touch or comfort her. Giles retracted his hand for a moment, but then reached for her again, with a little more determination this time.

Faith pulled herself away rapidly once more, but this time, her eyes widening suddenly, she pulled herself unsteadily to her feet. Stumbling over toward the sink, she just barely reached it and was able to lean over it before she began to vomit. Choking, her chest and rib cage heaved as she gripped the counter tightly, tears still spilling down her cheeks, little gasping cries escaping her.

Buffy could only turn to look at her with bone dry eyes, observing, but barely showing a flicker of reaction. And still no feeling toward what was going on around her showed itself… she only thought distantly that someone had better go to Faith before she fell over or fainted.

As it turned out, Giles did that for her, though with such slowness in his motions that he seemed old, arthritic, as if each movement physically pained him. He put his hands on Faith's shoulders gently, almost gingerly, turning her around to face him. Faith let him that this time, her shoulders sagging; when he carefully put his arms around her, seeming to have to concentrate to make himself do so, she went limp against him, burying her face against his chest as her cries continued weakly, shaking her frame.

Giles held her, not seeming to be hurt by her tight grip… but maybe he was simply too stunned to feel it. As he spoke to her, his words were too helpless to seem sincere; there was a hoarse quality to them, as if he himself were not far from tears. And even as his arms held Faith, his eyes were looking past her, to where Joyce's body still lay on the damp kitchen floor…

"Shhh… Faith, shhh… it's going to be okay. It's…"

But not a single one of them believed him… there was absolutely no reason that they should.

When Faith had began to vomit, Dawn had finally looked up from Buffy's shoulder, alarmed at t sound. As she had stared over at Faith, then anxiously looked from Giles to Buffy, terror had shone brightly in her eyes. It was obvious that seeing Faith so distraught upset her even further. Dawn had never seen Faith so out of control, so completely overwhelmed by her emotions… in fact, Faith had never even really cried in front of her. For her to see Faith like this now, after what had already happened… it was no wonder that her grip on Buffy tightened, that fresh tears threatened to spill over.

"Buffy…Buffy…" she almost whispered, her voice quivering, and even in her frame of mind, Buffy knew what she wanted, what she was asking. Dawn wanted her to help Faith. She wanted her to calm her, to make things better, at least for now. She wanted Buffy to tell her that they could do something to make this all just go away, to make it where it never happened.

Well they couldn't do the last part… but she could quiet Faith, if only so she could sit without the sound of her sobbing bouncing inside the empty expanse of her brain.

Carefully but firmly Buffy pried Dawn off her, ignoring Dawn's gasping and renewed tears, her panicky attempts to take hold of her again. Standing, Buffy crossed the room to where Giles was holding Faith, coming to stand before them and meeting his eyes.

"Let me have her, Giles," she said flatly, not moving her arms to take her yet.

Giles looked at her dully. "Buffy…" he said faintly, but Buffy interrupted.

"Give her to me, I've got it."

Hesitating, Giles released his loose hold on Faith. Taking her by the shoulders, Buffy pulled the other girl with her, taking her back over by the counters. She reached up to take a glass out of a cabinet, and holding Faith upright against her with one arm, she filled the glass with water, looking over at Giles.

"Giles…the cabinet to your right," she said distantly. "Get out the green bottle with blue pills."

At first Giles just blinked at her… it took two more addresses before he had retrieved the sleeping pills and shuffled to her with them. Shaking out five, Buffy firmly got Faith to put one on her tongue, then held the glass of water for her, instructing her to swallow in the same expressionless tone. After repeating it four more times, a procedure Dawn watched with wide eyes and Giles did not watch at all, Faith's eyes closed briefly, though she was not yet even close to sleep. Her shuddering had slowed somewhat, but a tear leaked out even so from each closed eyelid.

"M-my f-fault," she whispered, leaning heavily into Buffy's dispassionately supporting arm. "M-my f-fault…"

"No," Buffy told her in the same sort of tone one would use to describe the round shape of the earth…only, perhaps, with even less feeling. "It wasn't."

She tore off a strip from the paper towels near the sink and used it to wipe at Faith's face in the same impersonal, detached manner one would dust a desk in. Then, picking her up and holding her in the manner of an infant rather than a fellow Slayer and lover, one who was taller and outweighed her, at that, Buffy turned toward first Giles, then Dawn.

"I'm taking her upstairs… Dawn, you come too."

Without waiting for a reply, Buffy turned to carry Faith out of the kitchen. She didn't expect Dawn to really do as she had asked, and at first she didn't think that she would. But after a few moments she heard Dawn standing up, coming behind her with heavy, uneven steps.

Faith was limp in her arms, dead weight, but Buffy didn't care. There wasn't anything then that could have made her care about much of anything at all. Faith was not asleep, would probably not be for some time, but she did seem a little calmer, definitely more muted. This was probably due to her wearing herself down more than anything else. Or maybe it had helped some that people had finally started paying attention to her in her misery, attempting to care for her even if they couldn't bring themselves to fully care.

With Dawn close behind, crying quietly again, seeming fearful of being more than a half step apart from her, Buffy carried Faith to her room, setting her down on the bed. Drawing back the 

blankets, she pulled them up to her shoulders, tucking her in as if she were a child, but with no motherly affection or tenderness. Her movements were instead rather perfunctory, as if she were going through the motions of a necessary task, just to get it done.

Looking over at her sister when she was finished, Buffy spoke to her quickly. "Stay with her, Dawn… try to go to sleep."

Dawn's mouth opened in stunned protest, and she grabbed onto Buffy tightly, tears spilling more rapidly down her cheeks.

"No…Buffy, where are you going?! Don't' leave me…I can't, don't, don't leave me!"

"Stay WITH her, Dawn," Buffy repeated, plucking her hands off of her firmly. She shoved Dawn down on the bed next to Faith. When Dawn jumped up, running to her and hugging her tightly, she pried her hands off of her, pushing her away. Horror coming over her features, Dawn backed away from her slowly… letting out a loud sob, she turned to Faith, hugging up close against her side and burying her face in her shoulder as she began to cry even harder than before. Buffy just turned around…

As she began to head once more down the stairs, back to Giles, back to the soon-to-arrive coroner and police, but most of all, back to her mother's body, she still could not bring herself to feel anything at all…


	12. Chapter 12

Bonded

Chapter 12

In the next few hours, time seemed to have no meaning for Buffy; every movement she made seemed to be carried out with a slow precision and exact purpose, executed for a very specific reason with a measurable result to be expected. If she could focus on what it was she needed to do, blocking out all else, then she had reason to keep going, to keep drawing breaths…if she stayed busy, she could somehow continue in this dulled state, could keep from thinking, keep from feeling…

Of course, she did not consciously acknowledge this line of thinking to herself; she was entirely too unaware of thinking of anything beyond her task at hand, whether calling a funeral director or simply walking across the room. It was all that Buffy was capable of then… for only be partially shutting herself down could she keep from breaking down completely.

Things got accomplished, though under what time frame, Buffy couldn't have said. The coroner came and brought with them the police; after questioning and examining Joyce's body and the scene, the cops seemed satisfied with Buffy's vague description of Joyce's having slipped and hit her neck on the counter. Their conviction was probably based more upon Buffy's and Giles's obvious shock and their own stupidity and/or inexperience than the convincing evidence presented… seeing as there wasn't' any. And if any found it odd that there would be four chairs in the kitchen, but no table, they didn't mention it.

The coroner removed Joyce's body from the kitchen when the cops had finished up, taking her to the hospital morgue to determine an official cause of death. But even with her mother's body no longer right there in her sight, even though she as of yet was not a suspect, nor was anyone else, Buffy felt no relief… or any other emotion.

When all outsiders had left, expressing their condolences quietly, Buffy had gone upstairs to check on Faith and Dawn. She had found them both to be asleep, if fitfully; eyes swollen and red from tears even when closed, faces tensed and mottled, the two had been clinging to each other in sleep, facing each other and embracing in such a way that they resembled embryos in a womb. Buffy had backed away from them without exchanging expression, returning downstairs to Giles with neither gladness nor more negative emotions at their ability to find an escape in sleep.

Giles did not look up when she entered the living room. He was seated on the armchair, partly bent over, shoulders slumped as he stared down at the floor. Everything about his posture conveyed his defeated mindset. He did not speak for several moments after Buffy had sat on the 

couch, with the careful rigid posture of a posed mannequin. When he did speak, his voice was so dry it was almost brittle.

"How did this happen?"

Buffy didn't waste words with her reply; she didn't so much as sigh. She only looked at him dully and said without any inflection whatsoever, "Glory. She wants the key…she says she'll do anything to get it. And that was her way of showing us how serious she is."

Giles exhaled slowly, his breath shuddering, and though he did not look up at her, Buffy could tell regardless that there were tears welling in his eyes, fighting to spill over.

"Buffy…I'm… I'm sorry," he nearly whispered, and his voice did break then. It was a few more moments before he spoke up again, his voice faltering.

"We…we will have to tell the others, of course… to warn them…we have to…"

His voice trailed off, and he just shook his heads, suddenly seeming old, weak…defeated.

"What…what shall we do now?" he murmured, and there was a helplessness to his voice, a note that Buffy had never heard before. It was as if he had slipped into the role of the child, leaving her to be the parent…

"Isn't that supposed to be my question to you?" she asked flatly. "You're the Watcher…I'm the Slayer… but you know what? I'll answer your question for you… because the answer's pretty simple. We kill her. Somehow, some way, we kill her…"

And said like that, feeling the way she felt then, Buffy almost could believe that it was that simple. Just kill her… just find her, and kill her, to make it right. Find her and kill her, and maybe she could take this all back, make it like it all hadn't happened. Find her and kill her, and maybe none of this had happened…

But it had… it HAD, and Buffy knew this even as she thought it. But still…if she couldn't undo this, couldn't make it right… maybe by killing Glory, she would finally feel something. Satisfaction, joy, vicious vengeful glee… anything to show her that she herself was still alive.

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They continued to sit in the living room, Buffy and Giles, for nearly ten minutes after Buffy had proclaimed what seemed the obvious- and only- course of action to her. Giles had not replied to her words, and she had not elaborated, or tried to think them through. She had only sat there, letting her mind empty itself out, as a silence fell around them heavily, echoing its blankness inside her.

Eventually Giles had spoke faintly to her again, asking at last, a good fifteen minutes after she had last gone to check on them, if Faith and Dawn were okay upstairs. Buffy's curt nod had been her only reply. Another few minutes went by and Giles tried again, seeming to feel that he should be talking, should be doing something pro-active, if only to keep from shutting down.

"Buffy…it's early, I know… but perhaps, perhaps we should tell the others… they…they'll need to know. To…to be warned…"

And so before the sun had even come up, one by one Buffy had awakened her friends from the peaceful innocence of their sleep, shattering their day before day had even begun. Giles had offered to do it for her, but Buffy had told him that she wanted to. It was just another task to her, one more thing that she could put her focus to… it didn't hurt her now, as it would hurt Giles. Nothing hurt her now… even physically, her senses were dulled.

She had not beat around the bush with her calls, but simply jumped straight to it, reciting what had happened with no inflection. As she listened to their gasps of shock and horror, their shrill verbal denials, their rage and their tears, Buffy could not relate to them and their instant intense feeling, their emotion. She could only listen, and abruptly inform them that she was hanging up.

It had only taken two phone calls, for Anya had already been at Xander's, and Tara was with Willow in her dorm. Both, despite Buffy's telling them that they didn't have to and weren't needed, had insisted on coming over immediately. And so with those phone calls made, Buffy had sat up again in silence, in the same room as Giles, but somehow very distant from him. She sat and she waited once more for the others to come into her home, unintentionally invading the space she had formed around herself…

Before any of them could arrive, however, Faith came stumbling downstairs, Dawn clinging tightly to her arm. She still seemed partly under the influence of the sleeping pills, judging from her dazed expression and half-closed eyes, but obviously not enough to keep her asleep for any 

longer than she had been. She seemed slightly disoriented, as if Dawn's weight on her arm and side were acting as physical as well as emotional anchors, though Dawn probably was not intending this. Entering the doorway of the living room, the two stood there uncertainly, both faces pulled tight with grief and strain.

"You're supposed to be asleep, Faith," Buffy said dully, but Faith did not respond to this.

"It..did it really… is…" Faith asked hoarsely, and her eyes went slowly between Giles and Buffy, weary, mutely pleading for them to tell her what she wanted to hear. Some part of her was still hoping that it had been a dream, a trick, some morbid fantasy… anything but the cold, cruel reality that it was. But the utter lack of humor on their faces must have registered even in her state of mind, for she gripped Dawn tighter against her, beginning to tremble again slightly but noticeably.

"Yeah," Buffy told her shortly, giving a brief nod as she met Faith's eyes. "Yeah, Faith… it happened."

Faith's eyes closed slowly, and she breathed out in a long, shuddery sigh that was almost a sob. She was still quivering, holding Dawn against her side… but though Buffy saw a tear run down her sister's cheek, Faith did not start to cry again. Maybe she simply couldn't anymore.

"Faith… sit down, child," Giles told her softly, though there was a slight tremble in his voice, and he made no move to stand and help her himself. "Dawn…can you, can you help her…"

But Dawn didn't have to; Faith moved by herself slowly, and Dawn in tow, sat on the same couch as Buffy- but a good distance apart. She did not look over at Buffy, nor did Buffy look over at her… she just sat and stared, her shoulders slumped, eyes downcast. Though she was not crying, was making no sounds at all, her silence now seemed to speak her anguish nearly as loudly as her earlier weeping.

Dawn almost instantly sat with her, situating herself in Faith's lap and wrapping her arms around her waist, closing her eyes tightly as another tear leaked out from each. She too was still shaking slightly, leaning her head against Faith's chest. Faith's arms went around her, but she seemed to be moving automatically, rather than because she really felt and recognized fully that Dawn was there. Dawn did not even glance at Buffy, seemed almost afraid to do so… but this did not bother Buffy as it normally would have. In fact, she didn't even notice…

Anya and Xander arrived a few minutes before Willow and Tara; seeing Xander, Dawn instantly burst into tears again, bolting off of Faith and into his arms. Xander held her for a long while, one hand against the back of her head, and rubbed her narrow back as his eyes welled, almost spilling over. When he released Dawn, sending her back to Faith with a gentle push, he hugged Buffy, then Giles, saying brokenly to them how sorry he was. As Buffy allowed him to embrace her, she was aware of the feel of his hands on her back, his chest against her own, but she could not register anything else…only the physical sensation.

As Xander embraced everyone, Anya had hung back in the doorway, twisting her hands together with awkward anxiety. She didn't approach anyone, and for once, didn't say anything.. she just stood there, biting her lip with confliction flashing in her eyes, for once seeming at a loss as to what to do.

After hugging and apologizing hoarsely to Dawn, Buffy, and Giles, Xander had stood, somewhat slowly turning to Faith. She was still sitting on the couch, staring, though her shaking had mostly stopped other than an occasional shiver. It was clear to anyone who had looked at her that she was in shock, that she had been crying heavily, and Xander appraised her awkwardly, trying to meet her eyes. This wasn't easy, since he was still standing, and Dawn had once more burrowed herself into Faith's lap.

"Faith…Faith, I'm…"

He was interrupted by Willow and Tara bursting through the front door, and the flurry of hugs, tears, and choked apologies started all over again. Dawn jumped up once more to fly out at the older girls, and Xander too turned away, distracted. Soon the girls were renewing the hugs Xander had just given, including him and each other in them as well; Tara headed towards Anya as well, but Anya backed up quickly, a look of panic leaping into her eyes. She was hugging her elbows against herself, deliberately removing herself from all the 'human emotion,' as she put it, even as that same emotion glittered in her eyes.

Willow was crying a little when she hugged Buffy, her voice breaking as she whispered in her ear. By this point it was all Buffy could do to hug people back, however loosely…words were more than she wanted or had the energy to give. All the while that everyone- other than Anya, of course- was trading hugs and fumbling comforting words, Faith continued to sit, unmoving, wordless, barely seeming aware of what was going on around her. No one approached her at first, perhaps not thinking yet to do so… or maybe they just didn't know how they should go about it.

They all went to Dawn, who soaked up their comfort with needy gratitude, to Buffy, who barely accepted it at all, and to Giles, who, though struggling to be stoic, still looked so utterly lost and helpless…but for a while, no one went to Faith.

It was during an uncomfortable silence that had fallen, where the hugging had slowed and both Willow and Dawn had managed to stop their tears, that everyone seemed to notice Faith all at once, to realize that she too was present…if very still and silent. But it was Willow who approached her… a fact that, given their history, was slightly strange. Buffy would have expected Tara or Xander, had she been thinking about it…which, of course, she wasn't.

The redhead left Tara, who was holding Dawn protectively to her side, and slowly went to stand in front of Faith, looking down at her with unusual concern and softness. Her voice was slightly wavering, nose red from her earlier tears, but she spoke to Faith gently, if hesitantly.

"Faith…are you okay, Faith?"

Faith didn't answer her, didn't look up…she only drew in a sharp breath without releasing it. As Willow looked at her, frowning in concern, she looked like she was debating whether to ask her again, to approach her.

Xander, however, came up next to Willow and bent toward Faith, gently laying a hand on her shoulder and trying to meet her eyes.

"Faith?"

That was all he said, the name questioning on his lips… but somehow, the softness of his tone, the concern in his and Willow's eyes, combined with his hand resting on her shoulder, must have been acting as a catalyst, adding up to too much for Faith. Her head ducking away even further, so that her chin touched her chest, her tangled, still-damp hair covering most of her face, she began to cry again, almost silently this time. Nevertheless, her tears were enough to set her shaking again.

In comparison to her earlier weeping, this was nothing… but to the others, who had never seen Faith cry at all before, this was shocking, unsettling…alarming.

Willow's eyes widened, and she looked around in near panic, not knowing what to do, how to react. Xander too seemed at a loss…

If this had been Buffy, the situation would have been simple for them. If it had been Buffy, they would have hugged her tightly, held her and said what they could to comfort her… they would have emphasized with her as much as she would allow them or needed them to, as they had so many times before. But Buffy was standing apart, erect, her face as blank and emotionless as a doll's…

Xander kept his hand on Faith's shoulder, even squeezing it a little, but he didn't say anything…no one did. And so it was Tara who rearranged everyone in her own firm but quiet way, trying to bring people where she thought they most needed to be.

She had been standing holding Dawn to her, and now she brought her gently over to Xander, transferring her into his arms. Taking Buffy by the wrist, she brought her over closer to Willow, who took her hand somewhat distractedly and squeezed it, as much for her own comfort as for Buffy's. Then Tara sat down herself next to Faith, wrapping her arms around her. Without saying a word, she gently guided Faith's head to her shoulder with one hand and held it there, slowly sifting her fingers through her snarled hair. Looking over toward Giles, sitting in the armchair alone and silent for the past few minutes, she attempted a smile at him. If she could have got him to come sit with her and Faith without making a big deal out of it, she probably would have done this as well.

Faith leaned heavily against Tara, eyes closed even as tears continued to seep through them slowly, wearily; the room was silent, highly uncomfortable as all but Giles and Anya maintained physical contact with another. For a few moments, the only noises made were the very soft sound of Faith's crying, the hitching breaths of Dawn against Xander's chest as she struggled not to start again…

And then Anya spoke up from where she had been hanging back in the doorway, her words sudden and shocking in their shrillness as well as meaning.

"Will you all just STOP it!? Can't you just STOP, just CALM DOWN, can't you just, just be quiet and stop being so SERIOUS, so, so… so DEPRESSING?!"

Six pairs of eyes went shooting over in her direction, stunned and scandalized; even Faith looked over at her blearily, lifting her head a little from Tara's shoulder. Even Buffy, in her numb state of being, dimly recognized, even if she couldn't bring herself to care, that Anya was being highly 

insensitive and wrong. The ex-vengeance-demon's eyes were darting about almost frantically, not focusing on any one person, and in fact seemed to be trying deliberately not to do so; her hands were twisting before herself again, and she seemed strangely agitated.

"ANYA," Xander said in shock, his horror and disgust with her obvious in his tone as he continued to hold Dawn to his chest. "You don't SAY things like that, how many times do I have to tell you-"

"What the hell is your problem?!" Willow snapped furiously, turning to her; she was still holding Buffy's hand, squeezing it harder now in her anger. "Mrs. Summers is DEAD, Anya, did you not understand that?! They watched her DIE, they watched Glory KILL her, and all you care about is you and your dislike of noise-"

"Of course I understand that!" Anya shot back, her voice even shriller now, almost a scream. "I know what dead is, Willow! I was a vengeance demon, I killed people every day! I don't even know how many people I've seen die, how many people I caused to die! But that was other people…. That was men, people I didn't know, people who deserved it, people I didn't care about. That wasn't…that was different, THIS is different, this is too much, and I can't take it, I hate it! This is…it's just wrong, everything's wrong! WE'RE not supposed to die…not any of us…but especially not her, especially not Mrs. Summers! She didn't deserve it, she didn't' do anything to deserve it! It's…it's not fair, it's just not right… it's all wrong, everything's all wrong! Everyone's so upset, everyone's wrong, and I don't' like it, I don't understand, nothing's like it's supposed to be! Everyone's supposed to be so strong and know what to do, and you don't, you DON'T! Faith is crying and Giles is just sitting there and Buffy looks like a zombie, and no one is saying what to do, and it's all wrong, it's just WRONG!" Anya finished, her voice cracking badly. She was crying too now, her shoulders hunching in on themselves as tears ran down her face.

Letting out a little sob, she sucked in a deep breath as she went on in a small voice, "It's just wrong, and it hurts… she didn't deserve it. She didn't…"

Once again the room went silent, only the sound of Anya's crying breaking the wordless period. Both Dawn and Faith's tears had stopped; while Dawn was staring at Anya, however, stunned, Faith's eyes were still closed, her face partly hidden against Tara's shoulder. She looked very small and young with Tara's arms around her, even younger, perhaps, than Dawn…

No one said anything to Anya…no one quite knew WHAT to say. Both Willow and Xander's eyes sparkled with unshed tears too, and as Anya drew in a shaky breath, wiping at her eyes angrily, she suddenly looked more human to them all than she ever had before.

"Anya…why don't you come sit down," Giles said finally, surprising them, for it had been some time since he had spoken or displayed more than vague awareness of his surroundings. But now he was looking at his employee with a stir of softness in his gaze…

Sniffing, avoiding everyone's eyes, Anya did as he suggested, sinking down on the couch next to Faith and Tara. Still keeping one arm firmly around Faith, her finger absently moving soothingly across her skin, Tara put her other hand on Anya's arm gently. Though there was grief in her own eyes for Joyce, it was outweighed by her concern for the others. Anya didn't say anything, didn't acknowledge Tara's kindness toward her, but neither did she protest or move away.

As Buffy watched everyone dully, her hand limp and unresponsive in Willow's, her dulled state suddenly vanished, replaced instead by an itchy need, a restlessness, a desire to leave everything and everyone. She needed to leave, she needed…she needed to fight, to feel the adrenaline, the rush of power and strength once more surging through her veins. She needed to feel… she needed to kill.

Standing up abruptly, she disentangled her hand from Willow's, pulling away and turning toward the doorway. Everyone looked over at her, startled and somewhat anxious.

"Buffy? Where are you going?" Willow asked worriedly, starting to trail after her. "Are you okay…do you need…"

"I'm fine," Buffy said shortly, not glancing back at her. "I'm going out."

"Out? But out where- why? Buffy-"

"I'll be back later," Buffy called, but Xander caught up with her, taking her by the shoulders and making her stop and look at him. His dark eyes were showing his concern very clearly, his brow furrowed as he looked into her eyes.

"Buffy…you can't just leave like that, without saying why or where you're going…you, you don't need to be alone right now…"

"Yes, Buffy…" Giles said faintly, looking up at her with a tiredness she didn't often witness in him. "Please… that's, that's not advisable right now… the coroner may call, he may need you…you're needed HERE. Please… it's just not safe right now…"

Buffy turned her gaze slowly in his direction, meeting his eyes… when she answered, her voice was very quiet, but the fierce edge in it made everyone in the room feel momentarily chilled.

"Oh yeah, Giles… well when has it ever been safe for me? When has it ever been safe for any of us? We're all going to die eventually… why even care about something that's inevitable?"

She shrugged Xander's hands off her then, ignoring Dawn' shrill call for her to come back, to not leave her… she even ignored Faith's hoarse, cracking calling of her name. It was the softest voice addressing her that gave her pause, that made her slowly turn to face them one last time… the voice of the girl still holding Faith, attempting to give Buffy's girlfriend the comfort Buffy could not.

"You can't fight her and win, Buffy… not now…"

"Well," Buffy said roughly, lifting her chin defiantly after a moment's pause, "I can damn well try."

And with that she was turning, heading alone out the front door and into the night.


	13. Chapter 13

Bonded

Chapter 13

For nearly an hour Buffy made her way rapidly around Sunnydale, searching for any signs of Glory. But no matter where she went or how alert she tried to be, she could find no indications of the blonde hell god or where she might be…

She tried every place she could think of- cemeteries, neighborhoods, the factory where she and Faith had first seen her, even the Bronze. But she simply did not come across her, nor could she imagine where she might be. Where did hell gods hang out during their down time anyway?

Buffy did find a wide variety of vampires in her endeavors, and she made sure to slay them all- each and every one who was foolish enough to challenge her. But her movements were perfunctory, almost robotic… there was no passion in her actions, no emotion whatsoever. She didn't try to banter, either through self-satisfied beatings or verbal quips…she just went through the motions necessary to kill them, without changing expression or feeling any sort of adrenaline or release as a result. Hit, kick, stake, dust, then onto the next… ever on the lookout for Glory, who, despite her threats, seemed intent on making herself scarce.

Eventually in her wanderings, Buffy found herself walking before the Sunnydale hospital… and though she meant to keep walking past it, she somehow found herself turning, walking steadily up to its front doors. Once in the lobby, she ignored the front desk woman's inquiring look and continued past her to the elevator… she still had no idea what she was doing or why, but surrendered to it passively, unquestioningly. Nothing really mattered to her then, even her own strange, impulsive behavior. Even finding and killing Glory no longer seemed quite the obvious answer that it had an hour ago, for Glory seemed to be deliberately choosing to make that not an option right now…

As her feet carried her to the elevator, however, and she found her hand reaching to send herself down to the basement floor, it dawned on Buffy where she was going. She had been there enough over the past two years to remember how to get to the hospital morgue…

She didn't intend to stay there, of course; once the elevator doors opened, Buffy fully intended to go right back up, to walk back out of the hospital doors. There was no reason for her to be here, no reason…

But to her dull surprise, if not exactly shock, when the elevator doors opened, Buffy found that she was not the only one in the morgue… and the other person was not a coroner or a hospital technician. Her sister was standing in the middle of the room, slowly, tremulously reading the body tag of one of the covered corpses on the long wheeled tables…

"Dawn…what are you doing here?" Buffy asked her flatly, stepping into the room and letting the elevator doors close behind her.

Dawn let out a loud gasp that was almost a scream, whirling about quickly as her jerked away from the corpse before her. As she faced Buffy, some of the color began to return to her cheeks, flushing what a moment before had gone pale with shock.

"Buffy!" she cried, her voice half strangled, and Buffy watched her impassively as a slew of complex emotions flickered in her eyes. Shock, guilt, trepidation, defiance, grief… but mostly, hurt…hurt, and anger.

"Buffy, what are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same question," Buffy replied, but there was no heat or sarcasm in her tone. "Are you alone? What are you doing here?"

"Were you looking for me?" Dawn asked, not answering her question, and strangely there was hope in her tone…hope that Buffy failed to notice. "How did you know I was gone- I only left about fifteen minutes ago. Did you go home?"

"No, I didn't," Buffy replied tonelessly, not moving towards her. "And I wasn't looking for you. I didn't know you had left."

Something dimmed in Dawn's eyes then, and her expression tightened slightly as her small, brief hope was extinguished. She shifted her weight, lifting her chin a little as she spoke to Buffy in taut tones.

"They…they called right after you'd left, the coroner. They…they said they were done with…with her…and they, they think we're probably telling the truth. They said… they said she was here…"

Through her careful, slightly stilted speaking, Dawn had skated around saying her mother's name… Buffy noticed this dimly but didn't try to think what that meant, what Dawn must be feeling. Instead she spoke to her without changing her previous tone.

"What are you doing here, Dawn…you should be at home."

But there was no conviction to her words, no energy… she was saying them because she knew she should be, that it was expected of her. She could not feel that they were true…

And this, more than her words, was what Dawn paid attention to, what she reacted to. Her face stiffening even further, she glared at Buffy suddenly, her eyes narrowing as she fired back at her in an indignant hiss.

"What am_ I_ doing here?! I should go _home_?! What the hell is there for me at home?! No one even seems to _notice_ if I'm around or not, let alone care! I don't think a single person there knows I even left! I told them I was going to go to my room and sleep, and all they do is nod, all relieved to have me off their hands or something. I bet no one even bothered to check, or thought to- I bet they all still think I'm asleep. And _you_, you're one to talk, you weren't even _there_, you're here too, so why are you asking me why_ I'm_ here? Why are _you_ here, Buffy?!"

"Dawn…" Buffy said slowly, exhaling; she was beginning to feel a vague stirring inside herself in response to Dawn's words, a faint…something. Ignoring it, shoving it down and keeping her expression blank, she continued, "You shouldn't be here, Dawn…you should go home now."

In response to that monotone statement, Dawn's hand unconsciously formed fists at her sides, and she glared at Buffy with a ferocity that Buffy hadn't seen from her in…had it really been such a short time since Glory…since…

The younger Summers girl's eyes were sparking as she spat back at Buffy almost immediately, and the anger in them nearly dominated entirely over her hurt. Buffy noticed that, though her hands were in fists, they were loose ones, and they were shaking.

"No! NO, I'm _not_ going home, Buffy- I can't, I will _not_ go back home! I can't… I don't want to be _around_ all them, I'm not going to! I want to be _here_, I want…"

Suddenly her anger faltered, quickly being overtaken by her grief…she drew in a sharp breath, her hands relaxing, and she held her elbows, her head bowing slightly as tears welled in her eyes. Dawn's eyes were clouded over with pain now, and she exhaled in a shuddery sigh, her voice coming out high pitched and shaky.

"I want… I want to be with her… she needs someone to be with her. I-I want to be with my m-mom…"

This was the first time that Dawn had said her mother's name, referred to her mother as her mother at all, since the first moments after her death… but Buffy did not notice the significance. She only looked at her sister spiritlessly, and spoke to her with an impassive logic that Dawn did not want or need to hear.

"She's dead, Dawn…that isn't her."

"I KNOW!" Dawn shouted, her voice rising up shrilly as she fixated a quickly re-enraged glare at her sister, the fierce anger and frustration in her tone underscored by the tears still shining dangerously in her eyes. "You think I don't_ know_ that, Buffy?! I_ know_ she's dead- I was there too, I _saw_ what happened, I _know_ what she did to her! I know she can't hear me, I know she doesn't' see me, or hear me… you don't have to tell me that, I KNOW, dammit! But it's the best I can do… it's the closest… the closest I can get to her now…"

She paused abruptly, and she was hugging herself harder, tears streaming down her cheeks now, dropping unchecked onto her chest and wetting the sides of her long brown hair. Her chest rose and fell sharply as a sob escaped her, and it was a few seconds before she could speak again, her words coming out half sobs, half shouts.

"You don't' even care, Buffy- do you?! You don't even care about what happened, you don't even care that she's d-dead! You- you're just walking around, looking for G-Glory, and you don't care if we're scared, you don't' care if we want you to stay, you just LEAVE! You just- you're going around like nothing's wrong, like nothing h-happened, like it's no big deal… well it IS a big deal, Buffy, it's a really, really big deal, and you aren't acting like it is! You haven't even cried… and, and you don't even care if I cry, or Faith cries…and you just _left_ us, you left _me_, and I_ needed_ you, Buffy! We _need_ you, and you left us, you could have got killed! And you didn't care… you just _left_ us, and you didn't care…"

Dawn's words trailed off helplessly, finally losing steam, and she was sobbing, her tears coming harder and faster now so that her narrow shoulder heaved. She dropped her eyes, refusing to look at Buffy, and Buffy just stared, not knowing what to do or say. She was beginning to feel the same slight stirring as before, a prickling beginning feeling of…something… but again she squashed it back down, keeping her voice and face distant, nearly as apathetic as Dawn had described.

"Yes I do care, Dawn," she answered, but there was hardly enough passion in her tone for her to sound convincing.

"No you don't," Dawn retorted immediately, her voice breaking. "You don't…"

She didn't' say anything for a minute or so, and neither did Buffy; she was taking long, shuddery breaths, trying to get herself back in control as she rubbed her sleeve across her eyes, under her nose. Buffy realized dimly that Dawn was still wearing her too-mature shirt, and that her dampened stitches had never been looked over.

"I-I don't blame you," Dawn nearly whispered then, her voice cracking, and more tears spilled against her will down her cheeks. "For n-not caring…it's, it's my fault she's d-dead…"

For a second Buffy just stared at her blankly, unable to think of any sort of response. First Faith, now Dawn…didn't they realize that what they were saying was not true? It wasn't their fault… it was Buffy's. She hadn't been fast enough, strong enough, alert enough… she hadn't been smart enough. And so it was her fault- and her job- to kill Glory. Her job alone…

For the third time now she felt that familiar stirring, and for the third time she shoved it back down, subduing herself into numbness. No…just no…

"It wasn't your fault, Dawn-" she began in a near monotone.

Just then the elevator doors to the morgue opened up again, and Buffy turned to face them. She was mildly surprised, if unmoved, to see that Faith was standing inside them, her face still slightly puffy, long-dried tearstains still visible on her cheeks. The frantic fear that had been in her dark eyes was quickly replaced with a more complex expression of relief, surprise, and frustration as she took in the sight of the two girls standing before her.

"B?" she called out hoarsely, the relief outweighing the surprise in her tone; two seconds later, this dynamic switched around. "Dusk?"

Dawn's eyes widened, her tears slowing as similar dynamics rose in her own expression. "F-Faith?" Then, her voice dropping, small and uncertain, "Faithy…"

Faith ran towards her, wrapping her arms around Dawn and hugging her fiercely, almost urgently, as if she could not quite reconcile herself that she had indeed actually found her. Dawn hugged her back just as ferociously, and nearly immediately, for this was part of what she'd needed- part of what she had been wordlessly begging for- from Buffy all along…

But as soon a she had released Dawn, backing away from her slightly, Faith's expression shifted quickly to one of frustrated anxiety, and she seized Dawn by the shoulders, giving her a brief but rough little shake.

"Why the hell did you do that?! I was _worried_, I wake up and _you're_ gone too!" she almost yelled, her dark eyes narrowed as she stared at Dawn's blue ones with much more aggression and strength than she had displayed in the past couple of hours before. "What were you tryin' to pull, what the hell were you tryin' to do?!"

"How- how did you know I'd be here?" Dawn faltered, not answering the older girl's question; she seemed entirely dazed by Faith's obviously strong emotions, by the obvious indications that she, at least, had indeed noticed and cared that she had left. "How long were you looking…"

"Uh, from the second I woke up and realized you were fuckin' missing!" Faith said heatedly, giving Dawn another glare. "I mean, I've only been lookin' about fifteen minutes… I figured you might to here, and then when I sensed B here once I was in the hospital…"

She gave Dawn another shake, her voice intensifying again; Buffy realized suddenly, if still rather emotionlessly, that Faith's overwhelming grief, her regression and inability to function as she normally would, had apparently been put on hold when she realized that Dawn had left. Somehow she had found the presence of mind to pull herself emotionally and physically together enough to do what she felt needed to be done… for even as her grief remained visible under her the anger in her eyes, Faith looked more like herself, more capable and strong than she had been in hours, because she had felt she needed to be… because Dawn might have been in danger.

"You scared the SHIT out of me, Dawn Summers!" Faith almost yelled, then jerked her head to include Buffy in it as well. "BOTH of you did! I don't know what the hell you think you're doin', goin' off like that…god! I pass out for like, TEN MINUTES, and I wake up, and not only are_ you_ still gone, Buffy, but Dawn's left too! Are you_ tryin'_ to drive me insane?!"

Taking a deep breath, then letting it out in a slow, shuddery way that underscored her heightened emotions, Faith took her hands off Dawn's shoulders, backing away a step… only to pull her back to her a second later, giving her another fierce hug. Dawn let her, briefly burying her face against her shoulder. Buffy stood apart from them, carefully looking away. Somehow she couldn't bring herself to focus her attention on them then…

"Come on," Faith said, her voice lower, shaking a little, and she relaxed her hold of Dawn, though still keeping an arm tight across her shoulders. She glanced toward Buffy, not seeming to want to look at her for long either. "Let's get outta here… you too, B, you're gonna come with us too."

"But…but I wanted to see her," Dawn protested weakly, staying close to Faith, holding onto her with tightening fingers and quickly misting eyes. "I wanted…"

"I know, Dusk," Faith said huskily, and Buffy noticed that she was not looking at any of the bodies, her eyes darting about. "But I think you saw enough already, before… come on, let's just go."

"But you never even said hello," came a horribly familiar voice from behind them…a voice that made all three girls freeze, their faces stiffening. "It would be rather hasty for you to leave so soon, don't you think?"

Buffy knew before she turned around, and knew the other girls knew too, that it was Glory. She had searched for her everywhere, intent on killing her… and now, when she least expected her- when she had Dawn with her- here she was…

Author notes: So I'm trying to make a list of future oneshots of Faith and Buffy, or just Faith or someone, to write…any ideas you'd like to read about? Just situations with them, they can be very simple (like going to a fair, whatever) or more complex, AU or not. I just want something other than this story to work on so I can take breaks from this occasionally, lighten up some…or not, lol, depending on individual story. You may have noticed I like darkness, making them dance around each other all frustrated… lol


	14. Chapter 14

Bonded

Chapter 14

Buffy's body tensed, and she glanced between where Dawn stood with Faith to Glory, who was smiling slowly, casually. Was it possible… could she still inflict damage on her, could she kill her, when Dawn was right there?

Of course she could… and she would. She had to. The important thing right now though… Glory had never actually met Dawn in person before. Did she realize that she was the key?

Based on the terror outweighing the fury in Faith's expression, she was having the same thought, or something close to it. Or maybe she had just remembered all too vividly then how only a few hours ago, Glory had snapped Joyce Summers's neck right in front of them…

Either way, Faith was holding Dawn to her protectively, her eyes glued to Glory's face… her muscles were pulled tautly, as if she were preparing herself to make a run for it at first opportunity, Dawn slung over her shoulder if needed. There was a staircase, but it was all the way across the room.. the elevator was closer, but it would take too much time to wait for it…

Glory began to stride toward them slowly, still smiling, seeming to very much enjoy seeing their fear…or rather, the fear of Dawn and Faith. Buffy's face showed only a tense concentration… she was calculating the effectiveness of different attacks on Glory, attempting to come up with one that might take her by surprise.

"Hey girls," Glory smirked as she continued to stride toward them, making Faith stiffen every further, though still standing her ground…even as her eyes darted toward the staircase. "Back for more already? So…did you think about what I said to you, or what?"

She focused her attention on Dawn, who was clinging to Faith even harder than Faith was to her, shaking, eyes huge and shiny with terror in a colorless face. Glory leaned closer to her, actually lifting a lock of hair back from Dawn's face- an action that made Dawn gasp and flinch, shuddering, and Faith looked like she had barely restrained herself from punching her as she backed away rapidly, dragging Dawn with her.

"Overprotective, isn't she?" Glory sneered, addressing Dawn only, as if Faith couldn't hear or was entirely insignificant. "I was just being friendly, little girl… seriously, you try to use human customs once in a while, _lower_ yourself like that, and no appreciation for it. I was just trying to s, don't' think we ever met face to face, little girl… I'm Glory."

She reached for Dawn again, making as if to pinch her cheek. "Sooo cute. I bet your sister would hate to lose you, wouldn't she…"

"Keep your fuckin' hands off her!" Faith snarled, roughly pulling Dawn to the side, out of Glory's reach. Dawn, though trembling, looking physically ill, spoke up too, albeit in a squeaky, not very intimidating tone.

"Get away from me… don' come near me, they'd never let you…"

Glory laughed scornfully then, seeming genuinely amused by their words. Behind them, Buffy just stood there, watching numbly. Now that Glory was actually here before her, actually threatening Dawn, threatening Faith… now that her vision had become reality, all her previous plans of death and destruction to Glory had gone straight from her mind, letting her realize how impractical and unreal they had been in the first place. Every attack Buffy considered seemed less and less likely to effective than the last… and gradually, as her mind grew blanker and blanker, she found herself to be standing there with no plan of any kind, only a dull sense that it was useless to even try. She could not win… and maybe she had known that when she set out. Maybe she had secretly even hoped that she wouldn't, that she could just get it over with…

"See, that's not the way it works," Glory snickered as she smirked over at the two girls who had dared to speak up to her, foolish as that might have been. Buffy she ignored, she seemed to be regarding her as superfluous, not worth paying any attention to. "See, girls, when you're a god… you're not terribly frightened by the threats of little girls…"

With that, Glory lunged toward them abruptly… but Faith again yanked Dawn to the side, shoving her out of Glory's reach. Reacting on instinct, she grabbed hold of one of the gurney tables, shoving it at Glory with all her force so that it hit her squarely in her midsection. Actually thrown off by that, though not seeming to be in pain, Glory paused- giving Buffy enough time to come out of her inertia enough to come up to the side of her, hitting her full strength with one of the steel trays holding all the medical instruments and scalpels…instruments and all.

Glory screamed out in rage more than pain, thrown again for a few seconds- but that was long enough for Faith to pull Dawn over to the staircase. However, it was not long enough for Buffy to be able to escape her…not would she have done so anyway. After her few seconds of pausing, Glory shoved the gurney table back at Buffy, sending the corpse on top of it flying to the floor… a corpse that very well could have been her mother. The table hit Buffy hard and painfully, the steel impacting her in the ribs and ankles so forcefully she fell backwards to the equally hard steel floor. The shock of it sent waves of pain shooting through her body. She dimly heard Faith gasp, yelling out in horror, heard her scream for Dawn to run upstairs, but she heard no footsteps sounding in response. Dawn seemed to be paralyzed with horror, as once more, she stood and watched someone she loved being hurt before her eyes…

As Buffy lay on the ground, attempting to gather herself enough to get to her feet, Glory strode over to her almost casually. She dropped to her knees before her, seizing Buffy's shoulders and pinning her to the ground as she pushed her face close to the smaller girl's.

"You want to play it rough, do you, little girl? I can go for that…but whatever you think you're gonna do to me- you're still gonna hand over my key!"

With that said, she cocked her fist back, seeming to be intending to punch Buffy in the face. But Faith had already been rushing towards them. Grabbing up the steel tray Buffy had hit Glory with earlier, she grabbed Glory by her hair, pulling as hard as she could with one hand while hitting her across the face with the tray with the other. Glory screamed, more with rage than pain, and turned toward her, just as Faith snatched a scalpel off the floor and stuck it directly into the center of her chest. For a moment the three girls stared, hoping against hope, at the sharp object sticking out of her…

But Glory simply reached for it, yanking it out…and not so much as a drop of blood emerged. There certainly wasn't any mortal wounds…

"You put a hole in my dress!" she said indignantly, gesturing. "You're gonna_ so_ regret that, Slayer…"

Turning on Faith rapidly, she seized her in both hands, flinging her onto one of the gurneys forcefully. Faith's body loudly impacted on the corpse still atop it, and she made a hoarse involuntary cry, scrambling to get off of it even as her weight sent it wheeling backward, making it that much more difficult for her to get to her feet. As she was attempting to do so, Buffy too was trying to get to her feet…but Glory turned back to her, grabbing her once more by the shoulders and shaking her harshly. As Buffy's head snapped back and forth to the point of pain, Glory shrieked into her face, her patience and amusement with the girls gone.

"Where is my key?! Give me my key!"

Even as Glory shook her, even as she heard Faith screaming - her name, swear words, instructions for an uncomprehending and paralyzed Dawn to run- Buffy was not entirely alarmed, or having much of an emotional reaction at all. She only felt the instinctive tensing of her body, the quickened beating of her heart…in fact, the thought that came to her mind was not about her own physical discomfort or the danger she and her loved ones were in.

What came to Buffy's mind, very calmly, almost smugly in a detached way, was that Glory didn't' know. She had seen Dawn, touched and spoken to her…and she still didn't know that she was the key she was screaming for…

Faith was coming toward them now, still screaming, a metal tray again in her hand…but Glory grabbed it out of her hands before she even raised it all the way, throwing it across the room so that it loudly clattered to the floor. As Faith shrieked her frustration at Glory, using even more colorful language than usual, Glory grabbed her wrist, tightening her fingers around it until Faith gasped in pain. She knew that if Glory squeezed any harder, her bones would be ground together into each other….

"I'm going to ask you one more time," Glory warned, tightening the hand still on Buffy's shoulder until she was holding it in the same near-bone-breaking grip she had on Faith's wrist. "And if you don't answer me, I'm going to throw you down, and I'll try my luck with Little Miss Training Bra over here. Something tells me you won't like _that_ change of pace…"

She jerked her head over to Dawn, who was still standing, frozen with shock and terror, by the staircase, unable to move… even to flee for her life. The fourteen-year-old blanched even further as Glory leered at her, and a whimper of helpless fear escaped her as fresh tears made their way down her cheeks.

"So now that we're clear on that…why don't' we have a casual little chat?" Glory suggested, turning back to the stricken, devastated Faith and the taut-faced Buffy, whose eyes flickered, stomach compressed yet again with feelings she hurriedly pushed back. "Really, it would be so much nicer for all of us if you'd just give me the key…"

There was an odd glittering in Glory's eyes then, a look that seemed more than manic or frustrated or angry… she seemed almost anxious as well. Her eyes did not stay on Buffy and Faith, but rather darted about the room, as if trying to avoid their gazes. Or maybe… from her posture and her eyes, the way she constantly glanced about, particularly past Dawn to the doorway… maybe she thought someone was coming, that they would somehow stop or catch her. But how…why…

Faith didn't seem to notice this; she looked back at Glory with the fear still stark and obvious in her gaze… but along with it was a new determination and defiance, a resolve that before that been frantic desperation. Looking at her deliberately, she took a slow breath, gathering courage before speaking up in a slow, falsely cocky tone…even as her eyes momentarily slid to Dawn, mutely pleading for her to run.

"Sorry, your holiness…seem to have left the key at home on its keyring. You know, the one that holds the keys to my nonexistent house and car and boat-"

With that, Glory interrupted Faith's words with a punch to the side of her head, sending her head snapping around sharply with the impact of it. The dark Slayer quickly crumpled to the ground, not bleeding or broken, but certainly dazed.

"You just made your choice, Slayer…but let's see how fast you change your mind…"

She hit Buffy as well, in the exact same spot that she had hit Faith. As Buffy fell a foot or so away from Faith, such intense pain shooting up her jaw that she literally saw sparks and stars, Glory was already dismissing them. And just as she had threatened, she was headed for Dawn, as Dawn stood there, her wide eyes seeming to take up most of her face…

But suddenly through the ringing of her ears, Buffy became aware of footsteps coming from the staircase… footsteps that did not belong to either Dawn, or Glory…

As Faith tried to get to her feet, then slumped back to the ground, too dizzy and in pain to do so yet, Glory's eyes widened in what seemed to be worry, perhaps even alarm. She had almost reached Dawn, was just grasping at her arm, when a voice called out sharply.

"Hey! What's going on in there?"

As Ben, the nurse Dawn and the others had met while she was in the hospital, showed up in the staircase entrance, looking around himself quickly, Glory froze, rage and frustrated helplessness crossing her features. Then, to the utter shock of the two Summers girls and Faith, she suddenly disappeared. As they looked around them in bewilderment, they were flabbergasted to see Ben's body jerk slightly, his entire form seeming to ripple… and then it was back to normal, and hew as looking at them with angry confusion in his eyes, as if nothing had happened at all.

"What's going on- what's all this noise down here?"

Ben looked around rapidly, from the shoved gurneys to the thrown trays, scattered utensils, to Buffy and Faith, lying with stunned expressions on the floor. Then he seemed to finally focus on Dawn, who was standing petrified and blinking rapidly before him, and his face shifted from indignant confusion to a slightly softer look.

"Dawn?" Then, looking quickly at Buffy and Faith, seeming to recognize them as well now, "Buffy? Faith? Is that your names? What are you doing down here- you're not supposed to be down here! Dawn, I thought you had been discharged…"

For a few moments the three could only stare at him, still replaying what they had just seen, putting it in context with how he was acting now, what Anya had said…

It could only mean one thing. Ben was Glory's host.


	15. Chapter 15

Bonded

Chapter 15

"I asked you a question," Ben persisted, his voice rising slightly, growing more intense as he gestured around him. "What are you doing down here? Are you the ones who made all this mess- were you the ones making all that noise?"

Strangely it was Dawn, who had previously been completely unable to do anything at all, who spoke up first, though her wide eyes and nearly incoherent reply belied her attempts at answering calmly.

"No- n-no, not- we were- I mean, we weren't, it wasn't-"

"Uh, yeah," Faith took up the slack quickly, her voice hoarse, the shock still clearly painted across her features as she slowly began to stand up, helping Buffy to stand as well. "What she said… we're, we're sorry, we'll like, pick it up or whatever…"

She couldn't seem to take her eyes off of Ben, nor could the other two…for somewhere inside him was Glory. And if Anya was right- and if his behavior was any indication- he didn't even know…

"You can't do this!" Ben exclaimed, throwing his arms out in frustration as he looked around at the mess rapidly, eyebrows drawing together as stress lines appeared on his forehead and between his eyes. "You can't…I realize that you girls must be having a hard time lately, but you can't just come in and vandalize hospital property-"

"Their- their mom just died," Faith blurted, and the genuine pain in her voice and eyes, the way she bit her lip, her posture changing, gave Ben pause, made him look her over carefully. Buffy knew that her response was genuine…but she also knew that Faith was using it to get them out of there.

"She…I mean…sh-she's supposed to be here, and we were lookin', and…I'm, we're sorry…"

There were real tears suddenly standing in Faith's eyes, and she sniffed, swallowed, looking away. As Ben glanced uncomfortably away, then to Dawn, then to Buffy, his expression softened further, growing concerned, even a little apologetic.

"I'm so sorry…I hadn't known that, it must have been a fairly recent death…"

"It-it was," Faith managed, and she reached for Buffy's hand, squeezing it tightly. Buffy noticed dimly how cold her fingers were. It took her a few moments to squeeze back faintly, reflexively.

"We just…we're sorry. We'll just, we'll just go now…we're sorry…"

"Okay…" Ben said slowly, still looking with slightly narrowed, but much less wary and skeptical eyes as Faith sniffed, and he took in Dawn's pale face and Buffy's expressionless features. "I'm very sorry to hear about your loss… and I'll let this go right now. But I want you girls to understand…this is not acceptable. You can't do things like this, even under such circumstances. If I ever know that you did something like this again, I'll have to report you."

"Okay," Faith said softly, swallowing again. "Thank you…we'll, we'll just go…"

She began to move slowly toward the stairs, wrapping an arm around Dawn's waist and gently prodding her to start moving as well. Her other hand was still entangled with Buffy's, for she had pulled her along with her as well. As she began to lead them both after her up the stairs, both Buffy and Faith could feel Ben's suspicious eyes on them, obviously still confused…

Buffy was aware of Dawn's slightly loud breathing, could hear Faith sniff occasionally, and knew that she had not been quite able to turn off her tears. The further away from the morgue they got, the faster she seemed to be walking, and the more tightly she gripped Buffy's hand…

None of them spoke. When they finally had reached the top of the staircase and made their way into the lobby and out the front door, into the parking lot, they continued to stride forward briskly, with Faith still pulling them both along rapidly. Buffy thought at first that she was going to take them all the way home without speaking…but she had barely reached the edge of the hospital parking lot before she dropped Buffy's hand suddenly, then took her arm from around Dawn's waist so quickly Dawn stumbled. There were no tears in Faith's eyes or voice anymore- only a fierce anger and frustration as she glared at the both of them.

"What the hell did you do that for?! What the hell were you _thinking_, how could you be so fuckin' _stupid_, so _selfish_- _both_ of you! You scared the_ hell_ out of me, you _both_ did- were you fuckin' thinking at _all_?! No you fuckin' _weren't_, and look where it got you- you could've fuckin' been hurt, Glory could've hurt all of us!" Faith yelled. She seemed to be ignoring the fact that both she and Buffy had been hurt, had been beaten around by Glory…but then, her use of the word 'hurt' was probably an unconscious euphemism for 'killed…'

"_Both_ of you, _god_…you didn't give a shit if people were _worried_ about you, that you could've gotten yourself in trouble- you _did_ get yourself in trouble! You just cared about what you wanted, about you and your own stupid senses of pride, and, and-"

"Faith, stop it," Buffy cut her off, her voice tight, barely under control…for as Dawn stared at Faith, ashen, ashamed, and more than a little intimidated, Buffy was feeling a slow, not quite identifiable sensation creep over her. It was starting low inside her, crawling its way up through her chest…

All she knew was that she didn't like it, she wanted it to stop. She didn't want to identify the feeling, whatever it was…she didn't want to feel it. She didn't-

"No, I'm NOT gonna stop it!" Faith shrieked, turning exclusively towards Buffy in a rather violent fashion and almost spitting with her anger. "I am NOT gonna stop it, I'm gonna say what I want to, and I don't' give a shit if you want to hear it or not! I'm gonna say it to both of you..but especially YOU, B! How could you fuckin' do that to me, to Dawn- to everyone! You just go off like that, thinkin' you'll just kill Glory, all by yourself, without any fuckin' weapons- and you _know_ you can't, you _know_ she'd hurt you, if not _kill_ you!"

"Faith-" Buffy tried again, but Faith was far from finished. Her eyes hot, their dark brown depths almost shooting flames in her direction, she went on with her yelling as if Buffy had said nothing. But even as her fists knotted at her sides, and her every muscle pulled taut, the fury obvious in her expression and voice, there was also clear pain in her eyes. A pain not able to be overshadowed by her rage…

"No! No, Buffy, listen- fuckin' _listen_ to me! You _saw_, you _know_ what she, what Glory did last night…you _saw_ it! You _know_ how serious she is, you _know_ how dangerous she is…and you left anyway! You LEFT ANYWAY! After what we saw…what she d-did…you left anyway! And, and we all _begged_ you, we fuckin' _pleaded_ for you to stay, and you _didn't_… you didn't even listen, you basically told us that you didn't give a shit what we thought or how it made us feel!

You just…you just went after her, when you _knew_ she could kill you, when you_ knew_ she just had…"

For a few moments Faith could not go on…she sucked in a sharp breath, her eyes suddenly and suspiciously liquid, and her fists opened, her hands coming up to squeeze her own arms tightly enough to leave marks with her fingernails. At first Buffy thought she was going to burst into tears…

But then Faith's head came up again, and she was yelling at Buffy with every bit as much venom as before, the tears in her eyes once more shoved back down inside herself. She grabbed Buffy by her shoulders, shaking her urgently in the same way she had shaken Dawn- only much more harshly than she had the younger Summers girl.

"Do you want to _die_, B?! Is that it- do you want to fuckin' _die_, are you trying to kill yourself doing that?! I'm not gonna let you- if I have to fuckin' chain myself to your side, I am _not_ gonna let you do that to yourself!"

Something inside Buffy froze over at her words… that slow feeling that had been creeping up inside her intensified, and now it was pressing its way up her throat, against her chest. And now she realized what it was, even as she tried desperately to suppress it again. Grief…what she had been trying so hard not to notice, not to feel, was her grief, coming out in the form of physical pain.

"Faith," she almost whispered, the words tiny, pleading in her mouth. "Don't…stop…"

"NO! NO, I'm NOT gonna stop, B, I'm NOT gonna let you do this- I'm not gonna let you die!" Faith shrieked into Buffy's stricken face, still leaning close to her as she roughly held her by the shoulders.

And then suddenly her entire face was crumpling… as heavy tears began to stream down her cheeks, falling onto Buffy's chest nearly as much as her own, Faith's grip on her weakened. She seemed to be holding onto Buffy for her own physical support now more than anything, as if she were afraid she would fall over if she let go…

And then she did let go…she backed away from Buffy slowly, still crying in the same racking, incoherent sobbing that had stuck her when she first saw Joyce Summers's dead body. She lowered her face so that her hair mostly hid it from the other girl's view, and her shoulders hunched, even as they heaved with her sobs…

"B…B, you c-can't…you c-can't, I c-can't, I w-won't let you…we need you," she sobbed, barely understandable, her sobs so violent and frequent that it broke apart the majority of her words. "I need… I n-need you…I c-can't lose you… I can't, I-I can't l-let you d-die… not you too…"

Dropping to her knees, not feeling the rough gravel of the parking lot through her thin, torn jeans, Faith hunched over even further, no longer trying to speak as her sobs came faster, rougher, shaking her slim body so that she nearly seemed to be convulsing. She cried as if she were losing everything she had ever held dear to her…and in her mind, this was no doubt an all-too-likely possibility, one that had just narrowly avoided happening.

As Buffy watched her, she could feel her tightly contained emotions pressing inside her, more and more strongly, more and more of them rapidly making themselves known to her. Everything she hadn't been feeling… sadness, anger, frustration, guilt, pain, even love… all of it was swirling inside her now, more and more insistently, demanding some kind of reaction from her, some expression of her emotion…

She felt something snap inside her, as tangibly as though someone had actually taken something in her chest and literally broke it in two. Without quite being aware of or in control of it, Buffy found herself falling to her knees beside Faith. She felt the tears beginning to make their way down her own cheeks, the sobs shaking through her own body, as she reached to pull Faith into her arms.

Faith accepted her embrace with a desperate neediness, hugging Buffy back so hard she could feel the brunette's ribs straining against her own, felt each of her shallow breaths and too-fast heartbeats slamming against her chest and torso. As Faith buried her face in the crook of Buffy's neck, so that Buffy vividly felt the heat and dampness of her tears soaking into her skin, Buffy tightened her own arms around her, resting her forehead on Faith's right shoulder.

"I-I'm s-sorry… I'm so s-s-sorry…" she gasped, crying every bit as hard as Faith was, feeling as if she would split wide open from the pain of it all and never, ever be healed…

"I'm so s-sorry… sorry…I d-don't… I-I l-love you, I'm so sorry…"

Faith held her, a trembling hand running through her hair, holding Buffy's head to her shoulder even as she kept her own face firmly hidden in the smaller girl's neck. Her tears continued to run steadily, even as her harsh sobbing began to ease somewhat. She didn't' say anything, just held her as Buffy continued to cry, babbling thickly into her shoulder.

"I-I…this sh-shouldn't have h-happened…she, she sh-shouldn't be…she can't b…god, this, this h-hurts, Faith…god, this hurts, it hurts s-so b-bad…"

It was several minutes before either of them looked up, before either of them realized that they were not the only two around. Dawn was still standing there, had been watching them helplessly all along, with tears of guilt and her own grief silently making their way down her cheeks.

It was Faith who looked up first, snuffling loudly, and seeing Dawn, her expression shifted quickly, echoing some of the younger girl's emotions. Buffy, sensing the change in Faith, looked up too…

Guilt, apologies, and love for her all co-existing in her eyes, she took one arm out from around Faith's back, wordlessly holding it out to Dawn. Dawn fell to her knees beside them, quickly meshing herself into a fierce three-way hug. As Buffy choked out her apologies, her love for them, the pain she was feeling and her despair that her mother was gone, the three of them held each other, dealing in the only way that they could.

Author notes: So finally the Buffy breakdown some of you have been asking about, lol. However…not so sure I like this chapter. Seems kind of repetitive and too mushy…


	16. Chapter 16

Bonded

Chapter 16

When the three girls finally calmed down, standing up and beginning to make their way home on slightly unsteady legs, they remained closely connected to each other, supporting each other physically as well as emotionally. Dawn stood between the older girls, holding their hands as if she was a young child being led by her parents…and in a bizarre way this was nearly literally true. The three moved slowly, brushing against each other as they walked in a way that comforted rather than annoyed them. It was what they walked in a way that comforted rather than annoyed them. It was what they needed ten to remain somewhat composed.

By the time they had reached the Summers' house, the three were feeling physical exhaustion as well as emotional weariness taking over. Buffy had not had any sleep at all since the night before, and Faith and Dawn had only had one fitful hour's worth. Though Slayers could do without sleep for longer than normal girls, if they did without when already emotionally drained and somewhat physically battered, they could still feel the effects of the deprivation.

As they could have expected, the others were waiting for them when they half-staggered through the front door, still sitting, and in Willow's, Anya's, and Xander's cases, standing or pacing, about the living room. They reacted immediately to the girls' reappearance, several talking at once with raised voices as relief, concern, anger, and confusion rapidly crossed their faces individually, with each person's reaction varying in strength and focus.

"Faith, you found them! We told you not to go, it could have been dangerous- or at least you should have let someone go with you- but you found them, that's what matters, and you look okay… are you guys okay?" Willow babbled anxiously, her eyes flickering to each girl's face.

"Where _were_ you?" Xander blurted, some hostility and anger in his tone even as his eyes showed his worry. "We were worried- we thought that hell bitch might have done something to you! I mean… she didn't, right?"

"Are you _stupid_?!" Anya cried, her voice rising up so shrilly that the girls she was addressing flinched. "What the hell is _wrong_ with you?! You don't go taking off after a _hell_ god, especially _Glory_! What were you _thinking_- are you _stupid_?!"

"Normally, this would be when I turned to you and gave you a look and reminded you of all our little talks about politeness and tact…" Xander said to Anya pointedly, but then, turning back toward Buffy, Faith, and Dawn and addressing them in the same tone, "but this time I've got to say that Anya has a point. What the hell _were_ you thinking?!"

"Guys," came Tara's quiet but firm voice from behind them, and they turned toward her, startled, as she stood, walking up closer to them and looking at each person briefly but meaningfully. "Stop it… just hold on a minute, l-let them sit down a-and take a breath… they're, they're back, that's what matters. S-so.. let them sit down, and we can t-talk to them in a m-minute."

She seemed somewhat discomfited by the attention everyone was giving her, though they all seemed somewhat mollified, put in place by her words. Even Anya backed up a little, though she was still scowling, clearly not liking it. Ducking her head slightly, Tara reached for Buffy, who was standing closest to her, and gave her a gentle shove toward the couch.

"Go sit down…"

The girls did as she said, sitting heavily, with Dawn in between them. Feeling her guilt come back to her now as she sensed everyone's eyes on her, knowing that she had scared them, she had let them down by leaving as she had, Buffy swallowed, looking away. She could feel Dawn deliberately leaning into her, her hand creeping to tentatively rest on Buffy's leg, and Buffy took it, squeezing it tightly as a larger amount of guilt over how she had been treating Dawn began to settle over her as well. Dawn as her little sister, in a way even her daughter… she needed her, and Buffy had ignored that, had not even cared. She was all Dawn had left now from her original, immediate family… she had to do a better job with her, she had to be strong for her without becoming a robot. She had to…

"Are you okay?" Tara was asking her softly, and Buffy jerked her head up, startled, meeting the other girl's eyes. "I mean… of course you're not okay… but do, do you want to tell us what h-happened?"

Buffy sighed slowly, glancing at the other two beside her; tightening her fingers around Buffy's, Dawn didn't respond, but simply burrowed further into her side. Buffy had a feeling that she wasn't going to be saying much of anything… so that left her, and Faith. Faith just looked at her, her expression not quite discernible, so, sighing again, Buffy started for them.

"Well… yeah, I'm okay… I guess…. Like I said before, I was, I was looking for Glory…"

"B, it's gonna take twenty years if you tell it your way, and we really don't have the time," Faith interrupted hoarsely, her eyes half shutting as she put a hand to her temple, as though she had a headache or some other pain. "So let's just get to the point here, okay?"

She looked around at the others, taking her hand off of her space, and spoke flatly, as if deliberately trying to contain herself and her emotions.

"Ben is Glory's host."

At that, everyone in the room reacted at once with varying degrees of intensity. Even Giles, who had been silently sitting in his armchair since the girls returned, looked up, his features sharpening with sudden interest. Each had their own varying reaction/s- shock, hope, confusion, concern… and again, everyone started to talk at once.

"Ben? Who's Ben?"

"The guy from the hospital, you mean? That Ben?"

"How did you know? Did you see him? Did Glory tell you?"

"She wouldn't tell them, would she?"

"Are you sure? You're positive?"

"Really?! Well then let's go kill him, right away!"

The last part was from Anya, of course, and it effectively halted everyone else in their questioning. As they stared at her, somewhat stunned, she seemed oblivious… if anything, she looked hopeful, even excited.

Again it was Tara who addressed them calmly, though there was confusion in her own eyes. "H-how do you know that, Faith? Are you s-sure?"

"We saw her go into him after we fought her," Faith replied dryly, "so yeah, pretty damn sure."

The others were quiet for a few moments, taking this in… after some long, slightly strained pausing, Willow finally spoke up in a soft mutter.

"Oh no…"

"Oh no?" Anya blurted, turning to look at Willow incredulously. "What do you mean, 'oh no'? Don't you get it- that guy's the host! He's Glory's host- we know who Glory's host is! So now we know what to do, we know how to stop her! All we have to do is go track him down and kill him, and we kill Glory!" she finished up excitedly, moving her hands for emphasis. "What are you waiting for?! Why didn't you kill the guy already?! Come on, let's go!"

She started to move toward the door, as if she fully intended to lead a mob rush back to the hospital… but Faith spoke up sharply, stopping her in her tracks.

"NO! _No_, we are _not_ gonna just run off and kill him, Anya!"

Anya turned around with her mouth slightly open, her eyebrows drawing together somewhat indignantly, as if she couldn't believe that anyone would dare to challenge her plan.

"What?! Why not?! Don't be stupid- you want to kill Glory, this is your only chance! Why wouldn't you _take_ it?!"

"_Because_, Anya! Don't tell me about being stupid- _you're_ the one being stupid, not to mention fuckin' heartless!" Faith snapped back at the other girl, sitting up straight and moving forward onto the edge of the couch unconsciously as she fixed narrowed eyes on Anya. "We can't just march in there and kill him- you're not just killing Glory, you're killing Ben too! You're killing a _person_, okay, a fuckin' person… you can't do that…we're not gonna do that."

"She's right," Buffy spoke up quickly, backing her up as she noticed Faith's voice lose some steam towards the end of her words, eyes looking away briefly and shoulders hunching. Reaching across Dawn, Buffy grasped Faith's hand, giving it a tight squeeze of simultaneous support and comfort. "We're not just going to go off and kill someone like that, Anya… it's not that simple."

"It _is_ that simple!" Anya almost squawked, looking at Buffy, then around at everyone else in the room, as if she simply couldn't believe what she was hearing. "It_ is_ that simple! We want to kill Glory! We can only kill Glory if we kill her host! This guy Ben is her host! So…we have to kill Ben! How is that _not_ simple!?"

"Because it's not that black and white, Anya!" Faith snapped, and Buffy squeezed her hand again, reminding her to remain calm. "He's a _person_! We can't just kill him because it's convenient- we have to-"

"You wouldn't have said that a few months ago! What the hell makes this different for you?" Anya shot back.

At those biting words Faith stiffened immediately, making as if to jump up after her; Buffy reached across Dawn with her other hand as well, seeing the loss of control of her varied emotions flitting across Faith's face, and she held her firmly. Everyone was suddenly talking at once, voices rising.

"Back _off_ of her, Anya, don't you dare talk to her like that!" Buffy hissed, giving the ex-vengeance-demon an infuriated glare.

"_Anya_…" breathed Tara, stunned, her eyes flickering anxiously toward Faith.

"Guys, stop it! We can't-" Willow began worriedly, her eyes darting about as she unconsciously squeezed her own hands together.

And then, of course, there was Faith, her reaction the strongest of all.

"Are you going to fuckin' throw that in my face _now_, after all that's been goin' on- are you going to _still_ give me shit about that, every time I fuckin' disagree with you?! Fuck you! Fuck-"

"_Stop_ it!" Dawn shrieked, sitting up on the couch abruptly, hitting herself on the thighs with balled up fists. "_Stop_ it, everyone, _stop_ it! Stop yelling… just stop…"

Her words started out shrill and fierce, infuriated, but towards the end, once she had everyone's attention, had stopped in their tracks, her voice trailed off, weak and wavering with her emotion. Dawn's shoulders slumped, with her back curving forward as she covered her face with her hands; Buffy knew that she was trying to hold back tears.

For a minute or so everyone was quiet, awkward, unable to meet Dawn's eyes… even though, as it was, she was hiding them. Mostly chastened, somewhat sobered and shamed, most muttered an apology…'most', of course, not including Anya. Guiltily Buffy put an arm around her, rubbing her back and hugging her back against her side; Faith kept looking at her as if she wanted to touch her, but didn't think she had a right to.

"Okay… so no offense to anyone…but…she kind of has a point though, Faith," Xander said finally, a bit nervously. "Believe me, I don't want to kill anyone either. But if it's the only way to kill Glory…"

"You're taking _her_ word that there's no other way," Faith said roughly, jerking her head toward Anya. "That doesn't mean there isn't. Maybe there is and she just doesn't know about it, huh? Maybe her little demons pals didn't tell her _everything_."

"She's right," Buffy added, giving everyone, even Giles, who so far had contributed nothing at all to the conversation, a pointed look. "There has to be another way. Look… Ben is a good man. He helped Dawn, when she… we, we can't just kill him. We can't. Besides, that's not a Slayer's job… we can't kill humans."

"Oh yeah? Could've fooled me-" Anya started to mutter, but a particularly vicious look from Buffy, Faith, Xander, and even Tara shut her up. Seeing where her mind was wandering toward next, Buffy headed her off hastily.

"And we can't let other humans kill humans."

"I…I don't want you to kill him," Dawn said shakily, her voice small. "I don't want Ben to…he can't help it. He doesn't even know… don't do anything to him. Please…"

The others were quiet for a while; Buffy could feel Dawn's shuddery breaths through her back, and she tightened her arm around her, stroking a hand down the length of her hair. Now more than anything she knew she couldn't kill Ben… what might it do to Dawn, to know that another person had been killed because of her, indirectly or not?

She wanted to reassure her, to promise Dawn that they would not kill Ben, that none of them would… but the truth was that as much as she wanted to be able to, she couldn't. For if it came down to it, if there was no other way, Buffy knew she would do it…even if it hurt Dawn and Faith. To keep her only remaining family together, she would do it…she would take an innocent life.

But right now, there was no guarantee that she would have to… now, there might still be a chance.

"Well then…" Tara said somewhat awkwardly, glancing about at the others, "I g-guess we should t-try to research then, for now…see what we can find out, until…"

She didn't finish her sentence, but everyone pretty much knew what she meant. Until they had to start making more arrangements with Joyce's death than had already been made…until Glory showed up again…

"Why? What is the _point_?!" Anya blurted, spreading her hands out in exasperation. "We're not going to_ find_ anything! There isn't anything_ to_ find- Glory existed before written records, there isn't going to be another way you can kill her! Certainly not written down in _books_! Besides, we've already_ been_ looking, that's all we've been doing since she first showed up! If we haven't found anything by now, what makes you think today will be any different?!"

"Well, we're going to look harder!" Faith said deliberately, her voice rising as she fixed a pointed look to Anya. "There _has_ to be something we're missing, something we didn't see before. There _has_ to be- there _always_ is, there's never just one way to do something! You are_ not_ gonna tell me there's only one way!"

Anya held her gaze defiantly, seeming as if she were going to argue, or snap back with some biting comment that would make Faith back down. But as Faith continued to stare at her, her eyes narrowing, hardening, Anya finally looked away, admitting defeat even as her face clearly showed just how pissed off she was about it.

"Fine!" she snapped irritably. "Fine! You want to go research, to waste all our time looking for stuff that isn't there, you go right ahead! Have an all day session, whatever! But if you ask me, you are _stupid_ to do this- it doesn't make any sense to do this! You want to stop her, you go out and _kill_ her! I don't know what the hell you think sitting on your butts and looking for stuff that isn't there in books that don't mention Glory is going to do!"

Faith started to lean forward again, at the end of her badly frayed tolerance after the long, very stressful and emotional night, but Buffy grabbed hold of her, exerting pressure on her that was equal parts firm and soothing.

"Anya…please shut up," she said to the other blonde wearily. To Faith, she softened her tone.

"Come on, Faith…no one's… we're not going to do that, okay? At least…we're not going to do it," she stumbled, and hoping that Faith hadn't caught that and guessed the reason behind her hesitation, she squeezed her quickly.

She was glad when Faith took a slow breath, seeming to be trying to calm herself. The younger Slayer's eyes half closed, and her shoulders sagged slightly; Buffy knew how tired she must be, was beginning to feel some of that herself. Buffy's muscles ached, both from Glory's energetic blows and from the weight of her emotions. But she made herself stay upright, holding onto her girlfriend even as her body overlapped her sister's.

"Well maybe it will be different now," Willow spoke up too brightly, too loudly, as she looked at everyone anxiously, obviously wanting to smooth things over. "I mean…well, now that we know who her host is- Glory's, I mean- maybe it can help us in our research, you know? Maybe…maybe she picked Ben for a reason… and, and maybe if we figure it out… maybe we can find a different way to kill her. It, maybe knowing can help us somehow, is all I'm saying…"

"Yeah…maybe," Buffy said somewhat dully, unable to conjure up any hope or enthusiasm in her voice. It wasn't so much that she thought research would do any good…it was just that they had to do something, no matter how seemingly useless. And if it would make Faith feel better now, make the others feel like they were helping…

And it did seem to make Faith feel better…whether because she really believed that they could find another way through research, or because she just so desperately wanted to believe, Buffy didn't know. She just observed how Faith sighed softly again, then straightened deliberately, her voice growing stronger as she addressed the others one by one.

"Well good then… that's what we're gonna do. Here's what I think we should do, okay… until later anyway. Willow, Tara, you go to Joy- go to the study and use the computer a while if you want. Xander, maybe go to the Magic Box and bring back some books…you and Giles and her can look at those, okay?" she said a bit abruptly, and Buffy noticed that she had both avoided saying Anya's name and looking in her direction. Clearly her tension with her was far from gone.

"Okay, we're on it," Willow said quickly, looking toward Tara, who nodded, giving Faith and the Summers' girls a small, soft smile.

"Yep, I'm on my way… you, you want to come with me, Giles?" Xander asked the older man a bit hesitantly, looking at him where he was still seated in the armchair.

Everyone turned toward him, a little startled at Xander's acknowledgement. Giles had been nearly entirely silent and motionless, so much so that they had almost forgotten he was there. As for Giles himself, he blinked, looking up at Xander slowly, as if having to concentrate on focusing on him.

"Ah, no, Xander, I don't believe I will…"

"Oh…well, okay…" Xander said uncertainly, shifting his weight with clear awkwardness at Giles's quiet and response. For a few moments everyone was quiet, not knowing how to respond, and not yet moving toward their assigned stations. Finally Dawn spoke up, her voice small.

"Faith…what about us? What are we going to do?"

Faith turned to her, her eyes softening slightly, a sadness lingering in them as she looked into Dawn's face. She put a hand on the younger girl's cheek as she spoke to her, gentling her tone a little.

"You don't need to do anything, Dusk. Me and B are gonna put you to bed, and we're gonna go get cleaned up… and after that, I guess we'll see. Okay?"

Dawn nodded slowly, letting out a shaky little sigh, and closed her eyes, leaning into Faith's hand.

"Okay…"

Giving her a forced smile, Faith removed her hand, standing up and looking around at everyone as if to cue them to do the same. Everyone began to move mostly at once, headed toward their assigned destination. Turning back toward Buffy and Dawn, Faith pulled them both to their feet. As Faith put a hand on Dawn's shoulder, and Buffy rested her hand on Dawn's lower back, they began to lead her toward the stairs, with Dawn leaning toward both of them at once, gratefully soaking up their touch.

Anya, however, did not move so much as an inch from where she had been standing in the living room, nor did Giles. As Buffy and Faith continued to head upstairs with Dawn, they could still hear her talking with frustration, not bothering to keep her voice calm or lowered.

"I still don't understand how they can do this! They're so stupid, how are they going to do any good researching?! Researching isn't going to do anything but waste time! But nooo, all because of Faith and her killer issues, they're going to sit around looking for an answer that isn't there when what they should be doing is going off and killing Glory! What they should be doing is-"

Buffy tuned her out as she quickened her pace, hoping that Faith was doing the same; the other girl didn't say anything, though when Buffy glanced her way, she saw that her jaw was set and her eyes narrowed. Buffy tried to give her a little smile of reassurance, but her lips seemed somehow stuck together; she could not even fake a smile. She was just so tired, in every sense of the word…

They could hear Anya's complaints, of course, very clearly… but they couldn't see her. And they couldn't see Giles, couldn't see the look in his eyes as he continued to sit silently in his armchair, listening…


	17. Chapter 17

Bonded

Chapter 17

Buffy and Faith tucked Dawn into bed as though she were a small child, drawing her blanket up under her chin. Buffy even bent to kiss her on her forehead, something she could not remember doing in years, and Faith brushed back her hair with one hand, letting it linger against Dawn's face. It was a tender, yet bittersweet moment for the three, and yet oddly quiet and formal…for as they tried to give comfort and caring to her, and Dawn somewhat gravely accepted their affection, it seemed to symbolically reinstate the older girls as the now-guardians of the younger, her new parental figures in more ways than one. They were certain that Dawn, in her mindset, did not notice or think of this…but the older girls felt its weight heavily. Neither felt ready- or worthy- to take on such a task…

But they would have to. There was no other option now…Dawn needed them in every way, for emotional as well as physical protection. They owed it to her to do all they could to provide it.

Dawn didn't ask them to, but they stayed until she had fallen asleep, crowding very close to her on her double bed until they heard her breathing even out, slowing. This didn't' take very long, probably only about two or three minutes; she had been even more exhausted than they. Getting up from her bed slowly then, they had quietly exited her room, shutting the door behind them as they made their way down the hall to Buffy's room.

They could hear the clicking of typing in the study and knew that Willow and Tara must be working on research; they could not hear Anya half-yelling anymore, so either she had trailed off to angry muttering, or else Giles had finally told her to shut up. Not that they were worried about that…they headed straight for Buffy's room with much more than Anya's dissatisfaction on their minds.

Their clothes were still slightly damp, and now were torn, stained, and highly uncomfortable. Silently, not looking towards her for longer than it took to give a quick glance, Faith went to Buffy's dresser, pulling out draw-string work-out pants, a loose tank top, and a fresh bra and pair of panties, tossing it on the bed for her. Moving to her side of the dresser- which contained fewer clothes than Buffy's by far- she pulled out similar fare for herself. Still not speaking, she began to strip, changing her clothing in a quick, fumbling way that had nothing to do with her weary, shaken mindset.

Buffy was not watching her; nor did she begin to change herself. Sitting down on the bed, she simply stared ahead at nothing in particular, feeling so much…everything she had been trying to keep back, all the thoughts and memories, the emotions and fears. She could suddenly not shake off these images of all these faces…Dawn's, horrified, utterly terrified, when she opened the pantry door. Faith's, as she held Joyce's head, the pain she was feeling rendering her features nearly unrecognizable as she sobbed hysterically. The blank shock and denial in Giles's face, the grief and anxiety in Willow's, Tara's, and Xander's, the hurt in Anya's as she broke down. The vicious pleasure in Glory's as she shoved Joyce casually to the floor…

But mostly, the complete shock in Joyce's eyes just before her expression glazed over into nothingness…

Buffy was so vividly caught up in her visualizations that she nearly forgot to take in a breath. When Faith leaned over her, touching her shoulder, she jumped, gasping, sucking in a breath too sharply so that she almost choked. Her eyes widening, face and shoulders tensing, she barely heard the other girl's question at first.

"B…you okay?"

At first Buffy just looked at Faith blankly, unable to comprehend her question; all she could see was the furrowing of her brow, the grief and worry in her eyes.

"No," she said finally, honestly, her voice hoarse. "But you're not either."

Faith hesitated, her lips pressing tightly together…then, sitting beside Buffy heavily on the bed, close enough so that their hips and shoulders touched, she shook her head.

That was enough…without even realizing it at first, without knowing how close she had been to it until the first tear dropped on her lap…Buffy was crying. Her head slightly bowed, eyes closing, she let the tears run down her cheeks without trying to stop or hide them. They were silent, not accompanied by sobbing; her only sound made was an occasional sniffling.

Faith sat beside her, lowering her own head, and Buffy knew without looking at her how close to tears she was herself. As Buffy continued to cry almost noiselessly, in a manner that somehow hurt more for its very restraint and lack of release, she eventually felt Faith's arm slide around her, felt the younger girl lean her head against Buffy's. They stayed like that for a few moments; Buffy could feel Faith's slow, controlled breaths, the slight shaking of her torso, and a tight pain pressed inside her chest, torso, and throat.

After a few minutes Buffy turned under Faith's arm, wrapping her arms tight around her as she buried her face in the crook of her neck and shoulder. Faith's arms closed around her slowly, and now nearly in her lap, Buffy sniffed against her neck, feeling her tears still seeping from her slowly.

"I-I don't want to do this anymore, Faith," she whispered, and her voice was tiny, as small and childlike as a person's half her age. "I don't…I don't want to be this…I don't want to be the Slayer. I…I c-can't do this. It's too much…it's just too much…"

"Shhh," Faith whispered back, and her voice rasped as she stroked Buffy's head, taking a deep breath. "I know, B…I know…"

"It's too hard…it's too m-much…I can't do this, I can't…I w-won't…"

"I know…yes, we can…we have to…we, we just have to, B."

"B-but I don't want to…I just want to stop, Faith, I just want it to stop…"

"I know…it's gonna stop, B, we're gonna make it stop. We will…"

A few more minutes went by, and as Faith held her, a few of her own tears escaping despite her best efforts, Buffy's gradually stopped. Still she remained huddled in her embrace, keeping her face buried against her; when she finally spoke, her voice was small, muffled against Faith's warm, tear-dampened skin.

"Faith…we have to kill her."

"I know," Faith said slowly, hoarsely, her hands stilling against the back of her head. "We will…we'll figure out how, B, I swear."

"But…but what if Anya _is_ right?" Buffy said slowly, pulling away from her slightly now to look into Faith's eyes. "What if we _can't _kill her without killing Ben too?"

Faith hesitated, her lips thinning…as she looked away, Buffy nevertheless caught sight of the confliction in her nearly anguished dark eyes.

"We have to," was all she said, her words almost as soft as Buffy's. "We just have to, B…we can't…"

She trailed off then, still no meeting her eyes, and Buffy let her, not trying to push her any further. No matter how much the question bothered her, she knew it bothered Faith more…it haunted her. She knew that Faith couldn't handle thinking about it right now…

So she just hugged her again, more gently this time, laying her head on her shoulder rather than putting her face against her neck. When she was satisfied that they were both calmer, in control, Buffy pulled back a little, giving Faith a soft kiss on the lips, more comfort than anything else. Faith kissed her back for a few moments; then, hugging tightly once more, simultaneously giving and receiving strength from each other, the both stood, beginning to head towards the doorway to once again join the others.

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As Buffy and Faith passed the study, they could hear Willow and Tara speaking in low voices. Glancing at each other questioningly for a moment, they stopped, opening the door and stepping inside slowly to see what they were up to. The two Wiccans' heads jerked up quickly, and they gave the Slayers forced little smiles, but the tension and anxiety in their eyes was obvious.

"Hey…is Dawnie asleep?" Tara asked quietly. Her arms was unconsciously around Willow's shoulders in an almost protective manner as she glanced toward them, her dark blue eyes soft, but slightly cloudy with her weariness and concern.

"We'll check in a minute," Buffy replied, finding herself unconsciously seeking to mirror Tara's contact with Willow with Faith as she wrapped an arm around the brunette's waist, leaning into her. She felt Faith's arm go around her shoulders in a very similar manner as Tara's, and she sighed slightly, her bones suddenly seeming heavy, achy with physical and emotional strain. While Buffy's muscles were limp, loose, she could feel how tight and tense Faith's were, knew the stress knots that must be all up and down the other girl's back.

"You guys find anything?" Buffy went on, no hope or expectation in her tone. She didn't even feel any disappointment when they both shook their heads- only a dull acceptance.

"But, but we'll keep looking, Buffy…we'll find something…okay? We will- we always do. And Xander, he's coming back with books…" Willow hastened to reassure her. "It's going to be okay. I mean, maybe not okay…but, but we're gonna kill her, we're gonna send her back to where she belongs. Which is hell…right? Or, or maybe heaven actually, 'cause that would be sort of like hell for a hell god. But then that wouldn't be fair to all the good people…what am I talking about? I don't even believe in heaven-"

"Sweetie," Tara interrupted her gently, squeezing her shoulders and turning to look into her eyes. "It's okay. You…you can st-stop now."

Willow took a slow, slightly uneven breath, laughing in a way that showed more nerves than humor. When Buffy looked into her eyes, she saw that they were shining with tears.

"I'm sorry…it's just…this is so..and I don't know what to do…"

Buffy felt her eyes burn as she watched a few tears slip down her friend's face, as Willow squeaked out another apology to them. Her throat was suddenly and suspiciously tightl, and as Faith's arm tightened around her, she leaned into her further, deliberately looking down as she blinked hard. She couldn't watch Tara's arms go around Willow, couldn't listen to her soft words of soothing, the quiet sounds of her comforting kisses on Willow's forehead, lips, and cheeks.

"I…I guess we should go downstairs, B," Faith said roughly. "See…see what G-Man and Carrots are up to…"

Seeming to be trying hard not to look at Willow and Tara herself, she turned, gently making Buffy turn with her. Buffy went along almost gratefully, still trying to control her emotions. As Tara quietly bid them goodbye and they shut the door behind them, giving themselves as well as Willow space, Buffy concentrated on the feel of Faith's body against hers, on her slightly labored breaths, to regain her self-control. She suspected from the way that Faith's arm tightened even more around her as they headed toward Dawn's room that she was doing the same.

They eased the younger girl's door open almost noiselessly before peering inside, nearly holding their breath as they looked in on her still form. She was already asleep, her small face slightly furrowed and worried rather than displaying the innocent peace that Buffy was used to seeing. Seeing her looking so disturbed, even in sleep, made Buffy's heart twist…so much had changed today, so much they could never again have back.

Buffy wanted to go to Dawn and smooth back her hair, kiss her forehead…she wanted to go to her and somehow flatten out the lines in her brow, to make sure she would have better dreams, better thoughts…better memories. But she didn't want to chance touching her and waking her…it was best to let her sleep for as long as she could, to be able to have some kind of escape, however temporary. If she started to have nightmares, she'd wake her up then.

They backed out of the doorway quietly, closing it behind them, and continued on down the hall, then downstairs toward the living room, now just holding hands rather than fully intertwining limbs. As they entered the living room, however, they were startled to see that though Anya was still there, sitting slumped and scowling on the couch, Giles was missing.

"Hey where did Giles go?" Buffy asked with a quick frown, looking around the room, then towards the kitchen entrance, as if she had perhaps simply overlooked him.

Anya shrugged, looking at them in a very deliberate, almost snippy way that instantly raised both girls' hackles.

"Off to do what you wouldn't," she said in a purposefully vague, almost biting way, lifting her chin slightly.

Wrong response- way wrong response. Already tensed and pushed from the day's events way beyond her already small amount of patience, Faith let go of Buffy's hand abruptly, striding over to the other girl and standing over her almost threateningly, glaring down at her.

"WHAT?! What do you mean, 'off to do what you wouldn't'?!"

"What I just said," Anya persisted, not backing down, though a flash of alarm lit itself briefly in her eyes. "You heard me- you're not going to freak me out looking at me like that-"

Again, way wrong response. Faith's hands shot out, and she grabbed Anya roughly by the shoulders, pinning her against the back of the couch as her eyes bore into the thinner girl's. As Anya's eyes widened, she leaned her face close, her voice low and short on gentleness.

"Oh yeah, Carrots? You think so? Let me straighten you out on that one," Faith hissed, pushing herself even further into Anya's personal space and intensifying her grip on the bony shoulders as she spoke. "You're gonna tell us where he went and what he's doing, and you're gonna tell us right now, or we'll see about your little not-freaked-out status…"

"Let go of me!" Anya cried out indignantly, trying to twist herself out from under Faith's hands, but she was useless against a Slayer, much less an angry, determined one. Faith's grip only tightened so that Anya's eyes went even wider, and she made a shocked gasp of pain.

"Hey, stop it, you psycho- you're going to break my shoulder if you don't let go of me, right now!"

"Oh really?" Faith said deliberately, not loosening her hold. "Hadn't noticed…"

"I'd tell her now if I were you," Buffy told Anya in a very controlled tone, wavering between anger with her stubbornness and reluctant concern that Faith might lose control and hurt her. "You know how she gets when she's angry…"

For a few moments Anya still seemed to be struggling against her own wants and stubbornness and the practicality of doing what it would take to get Faith and Buffy to back off of her. Eventually practicality must have won out- for she did know what Faith could be like when angry, especially when her emotions were as on edge as they were now- and she huffed furiously, glaring at them both.

"_Fine_, okay, _fine_, you Slayer bullies. Like it's really fair to go around using your superpowers to get everyone to do what you want…"

"We don't' have time to listen to that shit," Faith cut her off, still not yet relaxing her grip on Anya. "Where is Giles, and what do you know about what he's gonna do?"

Anya sighed loudly, still giving them both homicidal looks that were returned to her with interest. Finally she spoke through clinched teeth, with obvious anger and snappy resentment in her tone.

"He went back to the hospital, okay? To the morgue. He's going to go kill Glory himself, since _you two_ wouldn't…now are you going to let go of me?"

Faith and Buffy looked at each other, their faces immediately paling…no. Surely he wouldn't…he couldn't have…

But Buffy knew he would have…for he had done the exact thing before. She remembered when Miss Calendar had been killed by Angelus…Giles had gone after him, nearly gotten himself killed in the process. And he had not cared…he would have almost welcomed it. Giles was usually so logical and cautious, so _British_…but when the people he loved were threatened, all tha went out the window. If they were _killed_…

Buffy knew he was acting purely on his emotions now, driven toward revenge. If they didn't stop him, he would kill Ben…or Glory might kill him.

Neither Slayer said a word…they didn't have to. Faith merely dropped her hands rapidly from Anya's shoulders, and the two of them turned hurriedly, heading for the front door. They could hear Anya's startled, indignant noise in response, her yells for them to tell her where they were going, how stupid they were to try to stop him, but they didn't turn around, didn't acknowledge her at all. All they knew was that they had to get to Giles, they had to stop him before it was too late…

Once they were outside, they saw immediately that Giles had taken his car. For a few seconds the girls stood there, staring…and then they rushed for Willow's car, the easiest to back out of the driveway in. Her keys were still in the ignition, and as Faith pulled out the driveway at a very scary speed, they raced down the road toward the hospital, rapidly scanning for Giles's car on the road.


	18. Chapter 18

Bonded

Chapter 18

Author notes: Sorry took so long to post this…I'm not happy with it. I'm taking a break from writing Bonded for a while because I am having problems focusing on it. I know where I want to go but not the details of how, you know? So I'll be doing a bunch of oneshots for a while…but I will finish eventually, I promise.

At the speed that Faith was driving at, it didn't take long for them to reach the hospital. As they scrambled out of the car, hurrying toward the hospital doors, they passed Giles's car…meaning that he was already there, already inside the hospital. Perhaps already with Ben…

The girls didn't say a word to each other; just knowing that they had seen Giles's car was enough. As they ran into the hospital for the second time in as many hours, their hearts were thudding wildly, tight balls of dread forming solidly in their stomachs. What if they were too late..what if…

They didn't know where to look first, where Giles might have gone. They had not mentioned that Glory had come to them in the morgue, nor that Ben had stumbled into the midst of it. Surely Ben wouldn't still be down in the morgue though, right? But would Giles first think to look there- where would Giles look for Ben?

And then it came to her…Dawn's wing of the hospital, where Giles had first seen Ben. That was where he would probably look first…that was probably where Ben was…

Buffy abruptly took Faith by the wrist, turning her around and pulling her back towards the elevator. Somewhat startled, Faith nevertheless allowed Buffy to lead her, to pull her into the elevator and push the floor number for her destinated floor.

They had hurried down one hallway, looking around frantically in swivel-headed fashion, invoking stares from several, when they saw him. He was striding down the hallway in a manner that was utterly calm, unhurried… it was the very purpose and focus in his stride, the lack of passion or emotion, that caused Buffy's heart to leap up into her throat with her dread and her worry for him.

"GILES!" she cried, her relief at seeing him, when mixed with her fear of what he might already have done, making her throw subtlety out the window. But he did not respond to his name…he only continued to stride forward, his eyes fixated straight ahead, as if he could not- or perhaps would not- acknowledge anything beyond the deed he was so intent upon.

Faith, however, was even less concerned with subtlety than Buffy. Running up ahead of her, her feet slapping heavily on the marble floors, she grabbed Giles by the arm, yanking him around so that he was forced to face her. The steely set of his eyes, the hard line of his mouth and the tautness of his features gave Buffy pause- but Faith neither noticed nor cared. Gripping him tightly, she began to hiss at him furiously, not quite yelling, but also not speaking in a normal speaking tone. Her voice was slightly scratchy, beyond frustrated, the strain showing clearly in everything from her posture to her expression to the whiteness of her knuckles where she held him. This was her fifth time confronting someone in a single day…and that was discounting the two run-ins with Glory.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing, Giles?! We're going home, right now, and you're coming with us!"

"Take your hands off of me," Giles said very deliberately, in such a flat, hardened tone that Buffy flinched, stunned. She had seen Giles this way before…but never had she seen him direct such a tone at someone he cared about. "You would be wise to step aside now and let me continue on without misguided attempts to stop me."

Of course Faith did no such thing; if anything, as Buffy quickly came up to their sides, looking around anxiously for nearby hospital staff or patients and relieved to find the hall strangely and uncharacteristically quiet, Faith's grip on Giles only tightened. She stared at him with clear incredulity as she sputtered back at him furiously.

"Misguided?! You're talking to _me_ about being fuckin' misguided?! No fuckin' way am I lettin' you keep going, no _way_ am I gonna let you do this!"

"There is no other option," Giles said coolly, "and whether or not you approve, I am going to do what must be done."

"But it _doesn't _have to be done!" Faith almost shouted, giving Giles a little shake to emphasize her words. "You _can't_ do this!"

"I _must_ do this," Giles repeated through gritted teeth and a clinched jaw, his muscles tensed considerably under Faith's hands. "Let go of me, Faith…right now."

"No! No, I'm not, I'm not gonna let you do this! I won't, Giles!"

Just then Buffy saw something flash in Giles's eyes, and the irises darkened…something about the way he held himself shifted, and suddenly, instinctively she knew what was about to happen, what he was planning. He was going to throw Faith off, to hurt and distract her enough to let go of him, so he could escape…Buffy wasn't sure what he intended to do or how, but she knew with sudden, clear certainty that he was about to…

Reaching out to both of them without thinking any further about it, she ripped Giles out of Faith's hands, setting them both stumbling off balance. Holding onto him firmly while he was still startled, she propelled him across the hall to an empty patient's room she had noticed before. Faith recovered quickly and sped after them; she had barely entered the room and shut the door behind her, looking entirely confused and more than a little irritated, before Buffy started in on Giles, her voice a shrill hiss of accusation.

"I saw you, Giles- you were going to hurt her! You were going to hurt Faith so you could get away! What the hell is wrong with you?!"

Faith blinked, her head jerking back slightly with some shock at that as she looked from Buffy's infuriated face to Giles's stony, impassive one. Buffy was holding Giles so that his arms were pinned behind his back; Giles did not try to get away from her, but then, as before, maybe he was simply waiting for an opening to do so.

"I didn't wish to hurt her," Giles said curtly, "but if you two make it necessary for me to be less than gentle in order to do what must be done, don't think that I will hesitate."

"Giles, what is wrong with you?!" Buffy cried, not loosening her hold on him, not lowering her voice or decreasing its shrillness. "You can't _do_ this, you can't _be_ like this, you just _can't_…"

"It must be done," Giles interrupted, and there was anger now in his tone, hardening his voice and narrowing his eyes. Buffy could feel the tautness of his body as she kept him from being able to move, and her own anger rose up inside her, surprisingly strong. "It-"

"We don't know that yet, Giles!" Buffy cried. "We don't know that, there might be some other way-"

"There isn't, Buffy. There isn't. Wishing won't make it so- and might I remind you that the longer you hold me here, the longer the thing that threatens your sister's life walks free. The same thing that murdered Joyce," he said darkly, and his eyes went to Faith's, deliberately holding them with his own. Buffy saw her swallow and knew, as Giles had intended, that his words were making the brunette falter slightly- for she was too.

"But…but you can't do it…" Faith said helplessly, the near desperation shining in her eyes even as she pressed her lips together firmly for a moment, resolution settling determinedly over her features as well. "Giles you can't kill Ben. We're not gonna let you- you can't."

"Perhaps not now," Giles acknowledged tightly, and it struck Buffy that she had never before seen him look at her in the way that he was looking at her now…with not so much hostility, as barely controlled resentment and anger. He had before shown annoyance with her, of course, frustration, exasperation, disappointment…but resentment? No…never before had Rupert Giles shown his Slayer resentment for having physical power he never would….for being able to use it to stop him. Never before had it crossed Buffy's mind that this could be even possible.

"You're correct that it would be more difficult than I anticipated to correct the problem that you refuse to attend to yourselves, when you two are so insistent upon physically preventing me from doing so at the moment," Giles continued with an audible trace of bitterness to his tone. He continued to allow Buffy to hold him immobile without fighting back, probably realizing that it would do him no good to. Unlike Faith, the older Slayer was not that easily distracted- and Giles's tactics especially she had always been able to see coming from miles away.

"But regardless of whether I take care of it now, as it should be- as it should have been the moment you realized- regardless of what you wish, I_ will_ do this. That, I want the both of you to understand- that this task will be accomplished, and it will be accomplished by me the moment your backs are turned. I want you both to understand also that by not doing this- by stopping me from being allowed to do this now- you are both neglecting your sacred duties, your very callings and positions as Slayers," Giles said, and his tone was cold, his eyes hard and unflinching behind his glasses as he stared at them in turn. "You are acting as betrayers in every meaning of the word. You betray yourselves, your identities as Slayers…you betray all who Glory has hurt and will hurt, because you would not end this as is needed. You betray your friends, you betray me, you betray Dawn…you betray Joyce's memory."

As were intended, his cold words cut through both girls so sharply that they gasped, sucking in painful breaths. Both felt their features collapse slightly, felt tears sting behind their eyes as their hearts squeezed in reaction to his words. But still he was not finished; neither Giles's tone nor his expression softened. Rather he plowed ahead ruthlessly, his voice tightly controlled.

"Glory must be stopped. And if neither of you will do so, then you may rest assured that I will."

For a few moments neither girl said anything; they were too stunned by his words and behavior toward them to do more than stare, trying to hold back their emotions as Giles stared back at them. Buffy was still holding him, could still feel how very tense he was even when not physically resisting her…

"Giles," Faith said finally, and her voice was very hoarse, almost inaudible. She made herself raise her eyes to meet his again, and the vulnerability of the thoughts and feelings standing in her eyes hurt Buffy to see, made something crack inside her, close to her heart, until she had to look away. Almost deliberately she made her thoughts go to the noise now bustling outside the closed door in the hallway, made herself think of her hope that no one would come in and interrupt them now. Then again, maybe that would be for the best for all, because then Giles would be forced to leave the hospital without-

"You can't do this, Giles…you'll…you'll be sorry later, if you do. You'll…you can't go back…you can't make it better…I…I don't want you to…"

She never finished her sentence, but it was very clear to both of them what she had been thinking, what she was leaving unsaid. She didn't want Giles to do as she had done, to feel as she had felt…she didn't want him to be like she had been.

Tears pricked at Buffy's eyes even more insistently now, not only out of sympathy for her, but also pride. Faith was putting herself out there…her pain, her past, her pleas and her emotions…she was making herself entirely vulnerable, showing Giles exactly how much she cared as she never had before. And what made it all the worse was that Buffy knew Giles would not soften in reaction to it…

And he didn't…perhaps his expression shifted slightly as he looked at Faith, but his tone remained as flat and deliberate as ever when he spoke to her, his words reflecting the same hardness.

"This is an entirely different situation than you have previously experience, Faith. This _thing's_ death is not a murder, but an execution. Don't confuse your past behaviors and your current inner turmoils with this. This is the right thing to do."

"How can you say it's right to kill someone, Giles?!" Buffy exploded, unable to keep still any longer. Unconsciously her hold on Giles tightened, but he did not react in any sense. "You always pounded it into my head that I was a _Slayer_, not a killer- that I could never kill humans- how can you do it now?! How-"

"You should know and understand better than anyone what I'm talking about, Buffy," Giles interrupted, and his voice was soft, dangerous. "I think we all remember a time when you were more than willing to kill a human because you thought it the right thing to do…"

His eyes deliberately went to rest on Faith's stomach, and again both girls froze, shocked and pained by his daring. As he lifted his eyes to meet Buffy's again, he said, "The difference is that you were wrong, Buffy…but right now, I am not."

It was several moments before either girl reacted audibly; they could not look at each other, could not look at Giles as his words sank in deeply. Buffy could feel her face paling, could feel her throat choking slightly, and she averted her face, doing all she could to avoid looking into Faith's face. She felt physically ill…

"Giles," she said finally, and her voice was almost a whisper, the pain in it obvious to all ears. "Mom…Mom wouldn't want you to…to be like this…and I…I don't think she would have wanted you to kill Ben…"

"But we can't know that, can we?" Giles interrupted harshly. "Because she isn't here to tell us- and I intend to stop the thing that took her away!"

"Giles-"

"This would not be the first time that my actions caused the death of an innocent. It is unfortunate, yes, but-"

"But it would be the first time you did it on purpose," Faith said quietly, the very softness of her voice belying her feelings.

Giles stared back at her flatly, and not so much as a flicker of shame or consideration crossed his face. When he spoke to her, his voice was so tightly controlled that his words hit them even harder than they already would have.

"I don't care."

Both girls felt a sharp sense of shock and dread come over them at his words, a rapidly dawning feeling of horror and hopelessness…for though Giles could not know this, they both were all too aware of the de ja vu his words caused in them. The words he had just spoken, the way that he had said them, nearly exactly paralleled to Faith's words after she had been confronted by Buffy for covering up the accidental killing of the deputy mayor. And shortly after speaking those words, through various factors, Faith had for a time slipped into a life of darkness they had believed to be beyond their grasp…

A darkness that Giles himself now seemed determined to go into.

Buffy was aware in peripheral vision of how pale and stunned Faith looked, even more so than before, her lips parted, eyes wide…she was sure that she herself looked no better. She felt her hold on Giles loosening as she struggled with what he had said, trying to make it somehow more manageable in her mind, to figure out what she should do, how she should respond.

And that was her mistake…for this was exactly what Giles had been waiting for. As Buffy eased up on her hold of him, he twisted himself violently, startling her so much that she inadvertently let go. Making a sharp cry of incredulous surprise as he rushed for the door, Faith grabbed his arm; Giles twisted and pulled in an attempt to break free. He was getting a wild, cornered look in his eyes, as if he meant to kick or punch her, when Buffy grabbed him as well, halting any instincts to do so. As the two Slayers held him firmly, he continued to struggle against them, hissing in an agitated fury that was most unlike him, almost as frightening to them as his intentions.

"Let go of me this instant! Let _go_ of me, I _will_ do this, I _will_ finish this-"

"No! No!" Faith almost screamed, and her anger and frustration grated in her tone even as her face tensed up considerably, in what Buffy recognized as extreme, desperate effort to keep back tears. "STOP it, fuckin' stop it, STOP IT!"

"You will let me go, you will do this! Buffy, Faith, you will let me go-"

"No! STOP it!" Faith cried rawly, and she was crying, tears streaming down her face; still, she did not loosen her grip on Giles, held him every bit as determinedly as before.

Given the noise and struggle they were causing, it was a wonder no one had come in yet to check things out…but then, it was Sunnydale. Perhaps nurses and doctors had learned over the past few years that strange noises occurring behind closed doors were best left alone.

If Giles was aware of Faith's tears, he certainly did not care; he continued to thrash as much as possible in an unsuccessful attempt to escape their holds on him, only managing to force them to bruise him with their holds. His eyes were darting about in his head, his icy, calm exterior shattered, and he was nothing but frantic strong emotion, anger and distress…

"You are betrayers, both of you! You betray me, your friends, your family-"

"YOU betray US, Giles!" Buffy yelled back, and her voice was harsh enough that she could tell he was temporarily startled, enough to lessen his struggles. "How could you do this to us- how could you make us do this with you?! You don't even know what you're doing you don't even know that you'll be right, that it wouldn't all be for nothing!"

"I know exactly what I'm doing," Giles snapped. "I-"

"NO! NO, you don't! You're just going to go off and kill him, kill a human being, and you don't know!" Buffy overpowered him, giving him a rough shake as she bore eyes quickly increasing in fury into his. She could feel all her emotions building up inside her…towards him, towards his actions, towards the entire situation, the entire day in general- and quite unplanned, it all began to spill out from her in a tumble of frustrated words directed at him.

"You don't know anything, Giles, you're just being stupid, and stubborn, and cruel! Of course you want to stop Glory- of course you want to get back at her- we all do! We all want to kill her! But you don't know that this is the only way to do it! God, you don't even know that Glory is still inside Ben right now! What if she isn't- what if she's already left?! THEN what, Giles? You'd just be killing Ben, not Glory- and we'd never be able to kill her, she'd find another host, and we might never find out who it was! What if by killing Ben, you make it where we can never kill Glory?"

At that, Giles halted in any further attempts to free himself…his face went stricken, his features sagging slightly, and his muscles loosened markedly under the girls' hands. What Buffy was saying had clearly sank in, hit him as logic and truth…

"But…but I must do this," he said faintly, the aggression entirely gone now, replaced with a hoarse anguish that echoed the grief now rising to overpower the fury in his eyes. "I must…she has to be destroyed. She has to…"

"I know," Buffy told him, and she was whispering too now, the strength draining from her voice. Her shoulders slumped as a heavy, helpless weariness came over her so suddenly and strongly that she almost let go of Giles altogether.

"I know…god, Giles, I know…"

For several moments no one spoke, no one moved; the only sounds were the soft catches of the trio's breathing as each fought the losing battle against impending exhaustion, even more strongly impending tears.

When Buffy saw the first, noiseless tear make its way down Giles's face, she knew that it was over, that there would be no more fighting…at least for today. When his knees buckled, both girls held him up, easing him to the floor. Buffy threw herself at him, hugging him tightly as her own tears began to fall. As Giles's arms came around her clumsily, holding her in a shamed, fumbling embrace, she could barely hear his choked apologies.

"I…I am so sorry…so terribly sorry…"

Buffy didn't try to tell him that it was okay, that she forgave him…both knew that it was not, and though she understood, and did forgive, it would be some time before she and Faith could forget. She just hugged fiercely, letting herself continue to cry almost silently against his shoulder, knowing from his trembling, his choked breaths, that Giles was crying too.

When eventually they drew apart from each other, Giles held a hand to Buffy's face briefly, looking into her eyes in a way that was equally searching and knowing, lost and grateful and sad… it moved her somehow, and she closed her eyes, taking a deep breath as he gently thumbed away her last tear.

It wasn't until they were both standing that he turned to Faith, seeming to remember that she was there. She had been standing there, watching them, and again Buffy felt a de ja vu…for the way Faith was standing there, the look on her face, reminded her strongly of how it had been earlier that day, when Dawn watched alone as she and Faith embraced.

She wanted to go to Faith and hug her, comfort her…but she deliberately kept back, letting Giles approach her. He looked at the younger girl with solemn scrutiny for a few moments, taking in her wary posture, guarded expression, her tear-stained cheeks, and the sorrow in his eyes intensified.

"Faith…" he began, and he took a step toward her, as if to touch her, yet stopped, keeping a respectful distance. "Faith…I…I am terribly sorry…"

He didn't seem able to articulate any further, and Faith did not respond. For a while they simply looked at each other.

And then Faith moved toward him, hugging him so fiercely that he gasped from pain as much as surprise. Giles put his hands on her back to cup her shoulder blades in awkward sentiment, touched, gratitude leaping to his eyes. Her hug was brief, however; when she nearly immediately pulled away, she glared at him with a ferocity that was softened by the relief in her eyes.

"Don't' you ever fuckin' do that again. You're not allowed to fuck up like that, go to pieces like that…you're Giles. That's my job, remember?"

She was trying for lightness, even as she regarded him seriously, anxiously…but Giles answered her solemnly, meeting her eyes with a shamed intensity.

"I will try not to let you girls down…"

"Uh…okay…good…so, so let's go then, let's go home…" Faith muttered, suddenly seeming uncomfortable as she looked away from him.

She went to Buffy's side, taking her arm, and Buffy gently shook her loose, using the arm to pull her closer to her side instead. Her heart squeezed when Faith briefly rested her head against her shoulder, letting herself lean into her.

They began to move toward the door without speaking, Faith and Buffy still holding onto each other for physical as well as emotional support, for they were both growing more tired than ever now that it seemed they could let their guards down. Giles lingered slightly behind them.

Just as Buffy was reaching for the doorknob, however, he spoke, the soft, slightly shaky, but very sincere nature of his voice making them stop to listen.

"I…I'm sorry…I was wrong, what I said before. I want you…I just want you to know…that I think Joyce would be proud of you today. Both of you…she…she was always proud of you…"

Both girls drew in a slow, slightly uneven breath as their throats closed over with emotion. They could not say anything, but as Buffy squeezed Faith tighter, blinking back tears, Giles seemed to understand. He turned his head slightly, giving himself as well as the girls time to pull themselves together before heading back out the door.


	19. Chapter 19

Bonded

Chapter 19

Author Notes: I know…been a LONG time since I updated. But now I'm back and hopefully all will go well. Updates may be slow because of life/getting back into swing of things, but I am trying.

Two days later (after they get Giles from the hospital)

Buffy took a slow, almost painful breath, then released it even more slowly, feeling it shudder through her torso. A few feet away from the closed casket, now sitting inside the hole six feet deep into the ground, she tried not to look at it, but rather past it…and when that didn't work, she focused her thoughts on each detail of its outer appearance, studying it intently. Anything to keep her mind off of what was inside it…

She felt drained, nearly entirely exhausted, as if it were an effort to keep thinking at all, to keep standing, especially with her effort to support half her sister's weight as well. Buffy had seen Dawn's mottled face, her red-rimmed, watery eyes, could hear her sniffing right now, and she knew she must closely resemble her, even as she tried to let herself drift off into a protective, wary numbness of thought and emotion.

Buffy would have thought that she'd be entirely cried out by now, as much as she had throughout the funeral service, but no… she could still feel the tightness of her throat, the stinging behind her eyes, an ever-ready urge that only very controlled thought seemed to put on hold. She just pulled Dawn a little more closely back against her, her arms around her waist as Dawn too faced the lowered coffin, and still saying nothing to her, she continued to focus fixedly on its exterior.

Behind her Buffy knew the others were close by, watching, talking, and touching softly among themselves. Nearly everyone had left the cemetery now was but her closest friends; only Giles, Xander, Willow, Tara, and Anya, and Faith, of course, remained behind with the Summers sisters. Most of them were staying slightly apart now, having all in their own ways offered their hugs, support, and sympathy; now, sensing her need for it, or perhaps feeling a need to distance themselves for themselves, they had backed away, leaving the girls a few moments to themselves.

It had been an incredibly difficult past few days, emotionally, mentally, and physically draining for all concerned, from the moment of Joyce's death up to her funeral this evening. After having confronted Giles in the hospital and forcing him to stay his actions and realize he needed to come home with them, Buffy and Faith had immediately gone to bed, without even attempting to explain what had gone on to the others. Operating on nearly 36 hours of no sleep, under extreme physical and emotional strain, they had left Giles to do the explanations, simply not capable of any further confrontations. Though their sleep was plagued by nightmares, they were not those prophetic of a Slayer, and they had slept too long and deeply to be awakened by them. When they both awakened, they found that neither of them had shifted at all in sleep from their originally, tightly embracing sleeping position throughout the night.

The next day the arrangements had had to be made…a time set for the funeral, people called, Joyce's body set to be prepped and transported for burial…never before had Buffy realized how complex and expensive it was for someone to die, even more so when the emotional aspect of it all was tied in. She had started to worry then about more every day practical matters… how would she do this? How could she pay for everything, how could she support Dawn physically as well as emotionally? She would have to get a job- Faith would have to get a job- and then who would be there for Dawn, who would- how could she do any of this, what her mother had done for them?

And of course, worrying about all these seemingly petty, ordinary matters had only made her feel guilty and ashamed of herself…for how could she care about any of that when her mother was dead, when she would never see her, never hug her or speak to her or look into her eyes again?

Buffy had tried to call her father..but the phone call had only proved to her that he no longer deserved that title. He would not even consider leaving his mistress in Spain to come see them, to support her and Dawn at her mother's funeral…his supporting them monetarily, coming back to look after her and Dawn, was not even a possibility in the remotest form. Buffy knew when the call was ended that it would be the last time she would ever speak to him. She had lost not only her mother now, but her father as well, whatever small thread of him had remained to her…

And then had come the funeral itself. It had been an extremely emotional affair; everyone around her had cried, only increasing Buffy's own grief. Even Anya had hid her face in Xander's shoulder, choking out something about the unfairness of death on good people who'd never killed anyone, not even demons…a sentiment that, fortunately, was muffled into his shoulder and not understood by those not closest to her. Willow's and Tara's quiet tears, and even those shining in the eyes of Xander and Giles as they tried to be the 'strong, manly presence' by keeping them back only partly had only made Buffy's heart crack open even wider with her own grief. Angel too had come, as it was an evening funeral, and his sorrow when he hugged her and looked into her eyes had done nothing to comfort her either. Holding Dawn's head to her shoulder with one arm, gripping Faith's hand tightly in hers with the other, she had only been able to gain a near semblance of composure around ten minutes ago, and it was still a delicate balance.

As she stood regarding the coffin, Buffy was aware of Faith's dark eyes on her a small distance apart from her, watching her and Dawn with a softness about her still painfully drawn features. Buffy knew that she would do it a moment before she stepped closer to her, sliding a gentle arm around her shoulders so that in a low-key way, she was holding Buffy as Buffy held Dawn.

"I…I'm sorry," she said faintly, and her voice was hoarse, tired. Buffy knew without looking at her that her face too displayed the effects of her earlier tears, that she too would be working hard now on forcing aside any thoughts or visualizations that tempted them to return.

She knew that Faith wanted to say more, to show her more fully how much she cared, how much she hurt not only because of her own personal pain, but because of Buffy's, because of Dawn's and Giles's. But she knew also that Faith was never one for being articulate with words, especially in such serious, emotional circumstances…but it didn't matter. It wasn't words that any of them needed now.

Still keeping her arms around Dawn, Buffy leaned slightly into Faith as well, letting her head come to rest against her shoulder briefly as she sighed slowly once more. When she spoke to her, her voice too was hoarse.

"I know…let's go."

Faith nodded slowly, giving off a soft sigh that made something squeeze hard in Buffy's chest…a feeling only exacerbated when she also softly kissed her cheek, her lips lingering for a few seconds, as if she didn't want to draw away from her.

Faith kept an arm around Buffy's shoulders, and Buffy adjusted her hold on Dawn so that she was holding to her side now, an arm around her waist. Thus connected, each partly leaned into, partly supporting the girl next to her, they turned back toward the others, walking with slow steps and heavily burdened hearts to reach them in order to return home.

A home, that for all living there, would never entirely feel like a real home to them again.

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Sitting on the side of her bed, across from Dawn, who was stretched out on the other side with her back turned away from her, Buffy sighed slowly, the noise rolling down her frame as her muscles slumped along with it. It had been less than an hour since the funeral had ended, but it felt like a considerably longer measure of time to her…

Giles had driven them home when they approached him, and the others had followed behind them; they had only stayed around fifteen minutes or so, however, before they correctly realized that they were not in the mood for either company or the comfort that their friends would try to provide. With a final round of hugs and soft condolences, the four younger ones had left, leaving only the Summers sisters, Faith, and Giles.

Giles had told them quietly that he would be staying with them, at least for the next couple of days until after the funeral, the day after Joyce's death. The girls had not protested; if anything, they were glad to have an adult presence with them for the time most painful to get through immediately following Joyce's death. Having a parental figure type that they knew loved them, had loved Joyce, and would do all he could to protect them was a small source of comfort and security…and they suspected that it was comforting for Giles as well, to be with the daughter and adopted daughter-type of the woman he had loved, to know that they were near him and physically safe for the time being…

He had been sleeping on the couch for the past couple of days, and Dawn, wanting and needing the reassurance of being close to her sister and Faith, had been crowding into bed with the two of them. Buffy had thought about how uncomfortable it must be for him at his age to have to sleep on a couch for several days, but he had insisted that this was where he wanted to be…and when Buffy thought about it, she couldn't blame him. To sleep in the twin bed of a fourteen-year-old girl would undoubtedly make the man uncomfortable… and to sleep in Joyce's bed, alone, when she would never lie there again…

All in all, Buffy more than understood why he was currently downstairs on the couch in their living room…and she wasn't about to pressure him into sleeping elsewhere.

The funeral had began at seven pm, and it was just now only a little past nine. But already Dawn was stretched out on the other end of the bed, asleep, her chest rising and falling with her steady, if not exactly even, breathing. Even in sleep, Buffy had seen how furrowed and tensed her face was before she had finally rolled away from her. She just hoped that even if her sleep was troubled, that Dawn would not awaken, would gain the rest and temporary escape she so clearly needed now.

Buffy knew that she needed it too, every bit as much as Dawn, if not more so…but right then, she simply couldn't. Though it made no sense, she was somehow too weary for rest, too emotionally beriddled to show any emotions at all. She simply sat on the opposite end of her bed from Dawn, and tried to empty herself out from feeling anything physically or emotionally. Even so, a part of her wondered if this was wrong. How could she not want to feel when she had seen her mother buried today? How could she want it all to just go away, just give her a rest from it? How could-

A hand touched her arm gently then, making her look up quickly in surprise. Faith had sat on the bed beside her; somehow she had been too wrapped up in her thoughts, or her effort at having lack of thoughts, to notice.

"B?" she asked, her voice low, so as not to wake Dawn. That was all…she didn't ask her if she was okay, knowing what her answer would be. She didn't tell her that it would be okay, for she knew it wouldn't be…she just slid her hand down her arm to twine with Buffy's fingers, sitting close beside her.

Looking over at her, Buffy's heart squeezed itself in her chest with a combination of grief, gratitude, and love for her and her understanding of what she was feeling, what she needed. She knew that Faith was hurting too, knew that she too felt lost and sick with her pain…and yet here she was showing more concern for Buffy, asking for nothing of her in return…expecting nothing of her. She was here with her just to try to show her she was there…

She could see the concern in Faith's brown eyes, the softness and love for her mingled with her worry and her darker thoughts and emotions, outweighing them. She could see the dark circles under her eyes, how young and tired and vulnerable she seemed now, stripped as she was physically and emotionally both. Having just emerged from the bathroom, she was bare-faced, clad in only a long, baggy t-shirt. Beyond her lack of clothing and makeup, however, was the total unguarded state of her eyes and expression. With no one around to see her but Buffy, she was not trying to hide anything, but rather looking at her with almost every aspect of her inner workings showing in her features.

Seeing this, understanding this without quite being able to give words to it, Buffy felt her throat choke up, and her eyes smarted with sudden tears. Leave it to Faith to keep her from being unable to maintain any pretenses…

Buffy didn't speak, didn't verbally respond in any sense to the other girl's quiet, questioning addressal. Instead, letting out a soft sound that was part sigh, part sob, she crawled into her lap, wrapping her arms tightly around her so that each hand cupped a fragile-feeling yet strongly formed shoulder blade. She put her face against Faith's neck and breathed in the scent of her with slightly shaky inhalations, concentrating on the warmth of her skin against her own, the faint feel of her pulse…

Faith did not seem surprised by Buffy's move, and had probably in fact been hoping for it. Her arms went around her quickly but gently, and she simply held her without trying to speak, one hand moving to slowly sift its fingers through her hair. As Buffy pressed herself even more closely to her, she could still feel the tears pricking behind her eyes, present, but not quite able to fall.

They remained like that for an indeterminate amount of time without words, without any movement other than the slow stroking of Faith's hand through Buffy's hair. They sat, with Faith holding, Buffy being held, and Buffy let Faith try with her simple presence and touch to give her comfort, even as she was aware of the other girl's emotion, nearly reflecting her own.

When Faith finally spoke to her, her hand stilling against Buffy's head, her voice was hoarse, still quiet, both in deference to the sleeping Dawn and the fragility of the moment.

"B…do you want to try to sleep?"

Buffy breathed out shakily against her neck, feeling Faith shiver slightly at the sensation, her arm tightening around Buffy's back. Blinking several times, then sniffing slightly, Buffy nodded against her, though she did not move away from her. As much as she was reluctant to do so now, and as much as she felt that she shouldn't be doing so, she knew logically that she needs it, as much as did Faith. Right now, she might as well try to forget while she could…because tomorrow, with the funeral over, her mother laid to rest, everything would be different. For tomorrow, they would have to live through the first day of a world where her mother was now six feet into the earth…tomorrow would have to be the first day of beginning the process of moving on, the first day of a life without Joyce Summers.

She had had days to get used to this…she had seen her mother's body, both immediately after death and, and embalmed in a casket. She knew her mother was no longer alive, could not hear her or see her, smile at her or touch her…and she knew that she would never come back to her in this life. But it was a knowledge that did not come all at once, sinking in emotionally at the same time that it did cognitively. Rather, it was something that she realized in bits and pieces, with each new sudden thought sinking it more deeply into her awareness, striking more strongly with her emotions. As she sat in Faith's arms now, a new thought was hitting her again…

She would never again feel her mother's arms around her…she would never feel the security that came from being held in her mother's arms, from feeling her gentle fingers running over her head, caressing her hair. She would never see her mother hold Dawn or Faith, or anyone…ever…

Though there were still tears standing strongly in her eyes, and her chest was squeezing so tightly she felt as if her heart were being compressed into a space several inches too small to hold it, Buffy did not cry…she couldn't. Somehow she hurt too much to be able to give release to it.

Tomorrow she would have to put on a brave front as she began to once more attempt to begin a life, a new life, and get one that was a continuation of the old. She would have to be strong…for her friends, for Giles, for Faith, for her mother's memory and faith in her…but most of all, for Dawn. Dawn would need her more than ever, in the mundane as well as the urgent…and whatever Buffy wanted or didn't want, it would not matter, because she would still be needed in so many ways.

So many issues for tomorrow, and all the days to follow, too many to ever be resolved, it seemed. Glory…where was she now, what was she doing? Just biding her time- or was there some bigger plan at hand? How would she possibly protect Dawn and her true identity- how would she stop Glory?

Ben…he was the host. What could they do about that, how could they use this knowledge to stop Glory? They couldn't kill him…so what could they do? Was there anything they could really do to stop her?

School…Buffy had been missing so much of it lately, between Glory and her doings, Faith's need for hospital nabbing, coma breakouts, and help around the house after her awakening, Dawn's suicide attempts, and now her mother's death. It just seemed so unimportant to her now, almost useless…a waste of time where there were so many things that were so much more important. What was the point of a higher education when, as a Slayer, she might have no opportunity to later put it to use? How could she focus on history and chemistry when her sister's life was threatened- when the lives of all she loved were threatened?

Money..even with Joyce's will, her father's child support for Dawn, and the money they now had, how long would they be able to manage? Banks and bills, taxes and revenue, all that was something Buffy had not the faintest idea of how to manage. Her mother had always taken care of that before…taken care of HER. And right now, she was only just beginning to realize how hard that must have been.

But mostly, what preyed on her mind the most was Dawn. She would have to become Dawn's mother now in more than the spiritual essence way that she technically had been, along with Faith. She would have to protect and support her in more ways than she would ever have thought possible just a few short weeks ago. She would have to be for Dawn everything she needed…mother and sister, protector and provider, supporter and pusher… and she was terrified that she wouldn't be able to, that such an enormous responsibility was simply out of her range of her ability.

All this was waiting for her when tomorrow came…but today, it was simply too much to even contemplate thinking about resolving. Today she could only focus on the grief pressing itself in her chest and throat, making it hard for her to swallow. Today, all Buffy wanted to do was lie down in Faith's arms and make it all go away, if only for a few hours.

Giving her one last tight squeeze, Faith loosened her hold on her, pulling away slightly so she could lay Buffy down, as though tucking in a small child. As Buffy closed her eyes, still listening for the sound of Dawn's breathing beside her to reassure herself, Faith lay down as well, close up against her, once more wrapping her arms tightly around her. Buffy felt her short, slightly uneven breaths against her and knew that Faith too was trying to forget, to soak up comfort in her.

Turning her face into Faith's skin, Buffy breathed in her scent slowly, focusing on the sound of her heartbeat. As she made her mind concentrate only on Faith, the feel, smell, and sound of her so close, she could gradually feel her pain easing slightly, just before she drifted off to sleep.


	20. Chapter 20

Bonded

Chapter 20

After less than five minutes, Buffy, even more drained than she had realized, had fallen into a deep, sorely needed sleep, her breathing evening out into a steady in-and-out pattern. Faith, however, was not even close to this. If anything, the longer she lay still, the more completely awake and alert she felt, the more she felt a need to be doing something, anything, just to be doing it, to be moving, maybe finding some force of release and distraction in it. The more she tried to force her mind into calmness, to blank out all the thoughts and feelings, the faster and more persistently they came to her.

The only thing that had kept Faith all day from simply snapping, exploding out into a screaming, running, lashing out force of insanity from the tension and high level of emotion that she had been feeling…the only thing that kept her from doing so right this instant, from leaping out of bed and running blindly until she could move no longer, was Buffy. Dawn too, of course, to an extent, for Faith loved her with an intensity that was almost as fierce as her love for Buffy, although of course it was an entirely different sort of love. But mainly, the one thing, the one person in her life that was keeping her together right now was the small blonde currently being held close against her in her arms.

She knew she couldn't do any of the wild, barely coherent urges running through her mind for her to carry out…and she wouldn't do them, not because they were pointless and even dangerous, destructive, but because of Buffy. Buffy needed her now…she had to keep herself together, for Buffy. She had to be there for her, to help her get through all the pain that would be coming to her now on all levels.

And Faith knew all about it, in a way that only someone who had also lost her mother could. Granted, Diane Lehane had been nothing like Joyce Summers, and the magnitude of loss that Buffy was now experiencing upon her death could in no way in Faith's logic equal the loss she had experienced with her own mother. Still, as sorry as mother Faith had had the misfortune to be given, and as fiercely as she had hated her at times, as deeply as she had been physically and emotionally scarred by her, she had still loved her, strongly desired that her mother love and approve of her too. She had still felt intense pain at her death, regardless of their lives together…and so she knew how Buffy must be feeling even without her telling her, without watching her in her grief.

Faith tightened an arm around Buffy's waist just a little more, deliberately bringing her in even closer to her, increasing the intensity of their physical contact. She wanted to comfort Buffy, to make sure even in her sleep that she felt safe and soothed enough to rest… but she also was attempting through the physical contact to transfer some of Buffy's calm upon herself, so maybe she too could relax enough to sleep.

But she'd been trying for fifteen minutes now, and it didn't to be working…and any closer physical contact, anything more intimate than what she was already doing, would awaken Buffy. She didn't want to do that…and besides, molesting her while Dawn lay there three inches away from her wasn't exactly the way to ease Dawn's traumatized life now.

Exhaling in a shuddery breath, Faith's eyes drifted to rest on Buffy's face as she held her girlfriend's head to her shoulder, slowly caressing her hair with hands that shook slightly. Buffy's face was furrowed slightly not relaxed and at peace, in a way similar to Dawn's. Her face was slightly paler than normal in the room's dim lighting, and as Faith watched her, she snuffled slightly in her sleep, turning her head slightly so that her cheek rubbed against her.

Watching her face, holding her in her arms, Faith's chest felt tight, painful and she found herself swallowing involuntarily. Buffy looked so small while asleep, so hurting… and there was nothing Faith could do to make it go away…god, it hurt to look at her, to hold her.

And on top of that, of course, her pain for Buffy's pain, for Dawn's and Giles's, was her own personal grief as well. Whether or not she had ever said so- and she would never have dared to say so then, and especially now- Faith had come to love Joyce as if she were her mother too.

Every time Faith thought about grief coursed through her with enough intensity that she almost felt as if she could not remember how to move, how to breathe. It pressed against her chest, wrenching her heart violently, making her head pound and her eyes ache, heated…the pain was physical and real, almost like an actual stabbing. She didn't want to accept it…she wanted to fight it off, push it back, forget it entirely, deny that it existed. She wanted to deny that Joyce's death had happened, even though every moment she had witnessed of it would be branded inot her memory forever, a permanent mental and emotional scar.

Faith didn't want to think about it…but how could she not, when she could see the truth of it in the eyes of everyone around her, could see their pain and almost physically feel their grief? How could she not think about it when she was living in Joyce's house, the home she had so lovingly and forgivingly offered up to her as her own too… how could she not when she was holding one of her daughters in her arms, staring across the bed towards her other daughter? Everything around her seemed to reflect Joyce back at her, so that Faith had no choice but to remember her.

She couldn't get her face out of her mind…she couldn't stop picturing her. She could see Joyce smiling at her warmly, in a way that Faith had rarely before been smiled at by an authority figure…as if she respected and genuinely liked her, found her worthy of her efforts. She could see the softness Joyce had in her mind sometimes when she regarded her, as if she were looking at someone she loved and wanted around just as much as Buffy or Dawn…and someone that she considered every bit as much of her own. She remembered how gently Joyce had touched her, as though she were something special, deserving of such care…

Faith remembered how Joyce had always been so gracious to her from the first day she met her, never behaving condescendingly towards her, but treating her as though she were every bit as smart and capable and able to be a force of good as everyone else around her. She remembered Joyce inviting her over for Christmas and Thanksgiving, asking her about her life, even at a time when Faith would never have trusted her enough to answer her truthfully. She remembered how Joyce had taken her in after her coma, trusting her when she had given her no reason to, caring for her when Faith had done nothing but hurt her and those Joyce loved.

God…the memories seemed to be coming to her faster now, more bitter than sweet by far, each one closing her throat over just a tiny bit more. She remembered so much, and she could hardly stand it, hardly bear to sit still and ride it out. Joyce cooking for her, buying clothes for her…Joyce accepting her and Buffy's relationship with no anger or judgment, even looking at them sometimes with a soft smile, as though happy to see them in love…not only for her daughter, but for Faith. Being okay with the fact that it WAS Faith that her daughter was in love with…even supporting it.

Joyce teasing Buffy along with Faith, giving her conspiratorial amused looks behind daughter's back…Joyce holding her while she cried, so very long ago, giving her the wordless, reassuring presence no other woman had ever before provided for her. Joyce hugging Dawn, hugging Buffy, caring for Faith's feet in the hospital waiting room…Joyce's face when she and Buffy walked in on her kissing Giles, when she gleefully joined their water fight in the kitchen…

And Joyce dead on the kitchen floor, her neck broken, eyes empty…Joyce in her coffin, eyes closed now , but with a face so stiff and pale that it was clear only a representation of the person she had been was what they were looking at.

That was always what her thoughts eventually had to circle back to, jarring her each time…Joyce was dead. All her memories of her…they could never be repeated, and no new ones could be made. Joyce was dead.

That thought was what had broken her, at Joyce's funeral. For the past couple of days after the night of Joyce's actual death, she had been holding herself together, staying tightly in control of herself and her emotions. Even when others cried, she had kept herself in control…it had killed her to see it, but she had still managed to stay in control. For the most part she had tried to withdraw from everyone else, even when they tried to include her, to give focus toward her and how she was doing. She had let Buffy comfort Dawn, and though she had spoken up occasionally, stiffly received the occasional soft touch or embrace, she had been enduring rather than accepting. The comfort she gave Buffy was not in any way comforting to herself, because she was still holding so much of herself and her emotions back.

But then had come the funeral..they had not had a wake, so the one time that Faith had seen Joyce's body in the casket had been very brief. But it had been enough…it had been more than enough. Sitting between Buffy and Tara at the funeral, she had tightly gripped Buffy's hand, hearing her soft crying, that of Dawn's beside her, and having seen how emotional Giles was too beside Dawn. She had held herself tautly, trying to harden herself against it, even as it ripped her up inside. But beyond that, there was no avoiding seeing the casket…and knowing that inside it lay Joyce's body. Which was now exactly that…no longer Joyce, but merely Joyce's body.

Less than ten minutes into the funeral service, Faith had cracked, unable to contain herself any longer. She had cried like a baby, in front of everyone, and she hadn't even cared. The only thing that had eventually made her stop was knowing how much Buffy and Dawn needed her now, how very important it was that she be strong for them. Besides…they had more right to grieve and hurt than she did, she told herself over and over, on the few occasions when she was forced to acknowledge to herself that it existed.

Still…telling herself this did nothing to lessen it or make it go away. If anything, she only felt worse.

Sighing out raggedly, Faith looked down once more at Buffy's sleeping form in her arms, trying to swallow around the constriction in her throat. Her head was throbbing dully, and though she was not crying, had not cried in a couple of hours, she could still feel the hot dryness of her eyes, and her nose was still slightly stuffy, made worse by her steady run of thought. She felt entirely anxious, as if she didn't quite fit into her own body, her own soul…

Faith's stomach was cramping with the extremity of her emotions, her heart thudding hollowly in her chest. She was all too aware of her blood pumping through her body, seeming to be pulsing too heavily against her veins, and her skin was prickling with a creeping, restless sensation that only seemed to agitate her further. She knew that there was no possible way she would sleep tonight, at least not now, even with Buffy held in her arms.

Or maybe because Buffy was held in her arms. Faith wanted to be there with her and Dawn, to watch them, to protect and comfort them even in their sleep. She wanted to be able to get comfort herself from having Buffy in her sight, from being so close to her now…

But she couldn't. No matter how she tried, she could not relax, could not calm herself in either mind or body…and as much as she tried to shove it back, she was starting to feel suffocated. She could not enjoy the feeling of being in Buffy's arms, was obtaining little, if any, reassurance from it…

The truth was that she wanted- she NEEDED- to leave. Not permanently, of course- she could never do that, would never want to- but just for a little while, an hour or two, maybe. She needed to be alone for a while, to have some time and space to herself, as she hadn't in a time span she no longer could recall. She needed to be able to move, to be out in an open space, away form everyone and everything…because right now, it felt to her as if everything was closing in on her, pressing in tightly to constrain her, and she felt as if in a few more minutes she would no longer be able to restrain herself from giving off some kind of violent response. She needed to go, to be able to bleed off through movement some of the stress and emotion that the past few days, and particularly this day, had brought forth.

She just needed to leave, no matter where to, or what she did…she needed to leave, and now.

Looking down at Buffy again, Faith exhaled slowly, concentrating on trying to relax her tensed muscles on more, and once more finding this impossible. Giving up, she slowly stroked a gentle hand over Buffy's head, so lightly that it was her fingertips more than anything else. She moved her head so that she could angle herself to kiss Buffy's forehead softly, holding her breath and praying that the older girl would not stir. When Buffy didn't, Faith exhaled again, and giving a fast glance toward the still-fast-asleep Dawn, she began to slowly remove herself from around Buffy.

It took a few minutes, but eventually Faith had managed to extract herself from the other Slayer entirely, without waking her or Dawn. Standing beside her by the bed, swallowing as she took a moment to look down at her again, Faith bent to kiss her on the cheek before quickly pushing her pillow up against Buffy, so she would not notice in her sleeping state that Faith was gone. She could see Buffy's arms and legs wrap around it unconsciously even as Faith turned away toward the door.

She was about to step out into the hall when it occurred to her that if Buffy or Dawn woke to find her gone, and didn't know where she was, they would probably freak out, especially in light of all that they'd been through that day. Of course, she wasn't' about to wake them up and tell them though…

Her eyes scanning the dim room quickly, they fell upon a stack of Post its on the night table and a pen lying on the floor by the dresser. Gathering them together hurriedly, Faith scribbled out a hasty note as well as she could in the shadowy room, sticking it on the lamp on the night table. Then, casting one last look at the two girls still unconscious to her actions in the bed, Faith backed out of the room quietly, closing the door behind her.

She continued to move carefully as she made her way down the hallway and stairs, conscious of Giles, supposedly still sleeping in the living room. But no one called to her or made any indications of having heard her, and before she knew it Faith was on the porch, shutting the front door behind her.

Once outside, she didn't feel even a small sense of relief, as she had expected. If anything, as the silence of the night swirled around her, the star-sprinkled sky stretching on endlessly overhead, Faith only felt worse than before. The sense of claustrophobic frustration was gone…but now, with all this open space around her, it seemed too much, too widespread. Looking around herself, she felt small somehow…incompetent, as if nothing she could do would ever matter, ever make an impact in the end.

She had wanted this time alone and apart from everyone…but now that she was there, she felt her state of solitude sharply. Nevertheless, Faith began to walk with long, almost rushed strides down the sidewalk, with no destination or purpose in mind. Her only vague instinct was to keep going, keep moving…and maybe, if she went long enough and fast enough, she could leave somewhere behind her everything she didn't want to remember, to feel.

The cool night air made the hairs rise on her bare arms and legs, for she had not thought to dress more appropriately to go outside. She was still clad only in a baggy T-shirt and the shorts that could not even be seen beneath the shirt. Faith crossed her arms, holding them against herself tightly as she walked with her shoulders drawn inward, her mind still wrestling to force away its agitated thoughts.

She gave up on this soon, for it seemed to be an entirely hopeless effort, and instead concentrated on trying to even out her breathing, to attempt to loosen the knotting inside her heart. She was so intensely wrapped up in her fierce self-admonishment, her increasing difficulty in holding back the tears stinging her eyes, the sobs wanting to once more burst forth from her throat, that she didn't notice the dark van behind her until it was stopping…

Faith had barely managed to whip around, body tensing warily, before the van door was thrown open, and four men leapt out into the street. In a very rapid, organized fashion, dressed in identical black garb, they rushed toward her…

Faith fought back, slamming her fist into one man's face and kicking out a split second later at another, her heart racing, mind shutting off as her body kicked into defensive mode. But more were piling out of th van now, also heading her way…and it only took one needled jammed into her throat to instantly cause her eyes to widen, then roll back into her head as the large dose of tranquilizers took effect. Two men caught her crumpling body with seeming disinterest, and as a third approached, he spoke dispassionately into a device in his left hand as the remaining two handcuffed her ankles and wrists quickly.

"By order of the Watcher's Council, the target has been detained. I will report back shortly when the safe house has been reached."

With this said, he turned back toward the van. The others followed him, with the two hauling Faith's limp body along with them. As they tossed her into the van's floor board, slamming the door shut behind them after following her inside, the silence in the aftermath of her departure seemed entirely deafening.


	21. Chapter 21

Bonded

Chapter 21

Author note: Sorry took so long to update…I do have more written and planned but I'm extremely busy and having personal life issues at same time, so the typing what I write is slow in coming. I won't be here week of Thanksgiving as well, won't have computer access, so just be patient with me I guess…

Buffy awakened slowly, not realizing at first that something was different. Eyes still closed, it began to occur to her slowly that she could only hear one person's breathing besides her own in the bed with her…and that what she was currently cuddled up to did not seem to be doing much in the way of returning her embrace. It was too cool, too squishy and limp and soft…

And that, Buffy began to realize quickly, was because it wasn't Faith in her arms at all…it was because what she was holding felt suspiciously like a pillow…

Opening her eyes hurriedly, and quickly seeing that her suspicion was indeed correct, Buffy sat up quickly, looking around in near panicky confusion. Where was Faith…what had happened, how had a pillow…what in the world was going on? Where was she…

Quickly she reached for the lamp on her night table to turn it on, having to roll over a little to do so. As the light came on, Buffy squinted as her eyes first adjusted. Beside her, Dawn's face furrowed, and she stirred slightly but did not awaken. After a second or two Buffy saw the note Faith had stuck on the lamp, and feeling a quick rush of relief, for this meant that there was an explanation available, she snatched it off, holding it with a slight frown as she tried to make out Faith's scrawled handwriting.

'B,

Sorry, I have to go a while...kinda going crazy sitting still. Sorry..be back soon.

Love you, Faith.'

Buffy frowned more deeply as she stared at the note, as if trying to decipher some hidden undertone to it that she was not reading; her mouth was slightly dry, her heart beating just a little faster than normal, and she still felt mildly disoriented. But no, it still said the same thing, and no new insight was coming to her.

She 'had to go a while?' Where was she going TO? And for how long- what was 'a while?' Why was it driving her insane lying here…didn't she want it? Didn't she like it? Didn't she want to be near me? And what was 'soon'- when had she left? How long had she been gone for?

Buffy didn't know, of course…with a note that brief there was no way she could know. With some hurt as well as worry stirring itself in her chest- for whether or not it was rational, she was hurt that Faith had felt the need to leave- she swung herself out of bed, slipping on a sports bra and a pair of sleeping shorts quickly before going out of the room.

She wasn't really sure where she was going or what she was doing, particularly since she didn't know where Faith had gone or what she was doing. But as she reached the bottom of the staircase and first began to hear the sound of Giles's soft snoring emerging from the living room, she paused, momentarily torn. She should probably tell him Faith had left… if he woke up, or Dawn, and found them both gone…

Hurriedly she entered the living room, coming to stand beside Giles and give his shoulder a quick shake. Giles came awake with a sputtering gasp, eyes wide and blinking in disorientation without his glasses. Buffy barely noticed; she was too anxious herself to care.

"It's me," she hissed. "Buffy. Giles, Faith is gone. She's gone, and I don't know where she went…"

"Gone?" Giles repeated blearily, running a hand over slightly disheveled hair as he looked at her with quickly sharpening alertness, frowning heavily. "What do you mean she's gone? Where did she go? Where-"

"I don't know," Buffy repeated, her voice rising slightly, tightening in her anxious state as she swallowed past the lump suddenly rising in her throat. She realized she felt cold, though it was a warm evening…

"I just woke up and she was gone, she left a note saying she'd be back soon. I guess she's walking around or something…but Giles, I don't like this. Her being alone like that…it's dangerous. God, I wish she hadn't done that…I hope she's okay…"

Buffy was finding herself quickly near tears now, slightly short of breath, and she could hear her voice shaking a little. What if Faith got hurt…there were so many things out there that would want to, and especially in her undoubtedly distracted mind frame. What if she was really upset and needed someone there with her, and no one was there to see? What if…

No, she wouldn't even think it…she couldn't let Glory's name even cross her mind. There was no way…NO WAY that it was possible, that it had happened. NO WAY…

And then there was another fear, one Buffy was ashamed and embarrassed to be thinking at all, but one that was nevertheless just as strong. What if Faith wasn't really planning on coming back…what if she had left her for good? What if… what if it was all too much for her and she had just snapped, was running as far away from it all as possible?

No…no, Faith wouldn't do that. Faith would never do that, never leave them like that…

Well, then where was she? And how could she be sure? Could she really ever know for sure what Faith would or would not do?

"No," Giles said slowly, frowning deeply and straightening further as what Buffy was saying sank in. He reached for his glasses on the small table near the couch and put them on before standing, distractedly beginning to smooth out his rumpled appearance. "No, that certainly isn't good… I wish she would have told us, she certainly doesn't need to be out alone now with everything that's-"

He cut himself off abruptly, his mouth drawing into a tight line, and asked her instead, "She left a note, and yet she didn't say where she was going or why, you said?"

"No," Buffy told him, swallowing, and she realized dimly that she was squeezing her hands together nervously. "Giles, I have to go after her…I can't let her be alone now…"

"No…no, of course not…she, she needs to come back here, or at least have someone with her…"Giles muttered, still frowning. "I really do wish that she had told someone before going off to wherever she's gotten herself off to-"

Just then the phone rang; both Giles and Buffy jumped, glancing first at it, then each other hurriedly and with real alarm. It was nearly eleven pm now…who would be calling them at that time, knowing what had gone on that day, unless it was about something horribly important…

Both moved for the phone at the same time, but it was Buffy who reached it, holding it to her ear in a white-knuckled hands. "Hello?"

"Buffy?" came the rushed voice on the other end, and she immediately recognized it as belonging to Wesley. He sounded very stressed, his voice taut with urgency. "Buffy, you must listen to me closely, I must relay to you something of great importance, and it may already be too late…"

Buffy sucked in her breath slowly, feeling herself tense up considerably. She had been right…not only was it important, and god, it must be for Wesley to call them at this hour, all the way from England…but it also could be nothing good.

"What is it, Wesley?" she asked, and Giles was watching intently, frowning at the mention of the other man's name. "What happened- what is it we need to know?"

"Buffy," Wesley repeated, and she could hear him draw in a steadying breath that did nothing except intensify her fear. "Buffy, I just found out extremely recently, and since then I have done what I could to obtain as much information as possible before calling you. Just answer me this first…is Faith with you right now? Is she right there with you, where you can see her?"

Buffy felt the hairs on her arms prickle suddenly with apprehension, with almost alarm at the question…for if this revolved around Faith…oh god, what…

"No," she said quietly, her voice tight. "No, Wesley, she went out for a walk…why? What's going on? Is she okay? Is-"

She could hear Wesley suck in his breath sharply on the other end of the line, and her heart clinched tightly. God…what was happening…and why the hell had Faith left like that, she knew it wasn't safe, she knew- why hadn't she awakened her-

"You can NOT let her do that, you can NOT let her out of your sight like that right now!"Wesley said almost fiercely, his words crackling slightly over the line. "When did she leave? Where is she going? You must go get her at once- you must-"

"I…I don't know when she left…or where she went…" Buffy admitted, somewhat shaken, and her fingers tightened around the receiver even more tightly, her voice tensing nearly as much as her body as new fear attempted to creep its way into her tone. "I was asleep, and she didn't say in the note she left…Wes, what is going on? What's wrong with Faith? Is she in danger? Is she-"

"She's alone now?!" Wesley almost squawked incredulously, and Buffy heard in his voice this time larger traces of the Wesley she had known last year, rather than the much-changed and improved one of this year. "You let her go off alone- and at this time of the evening?!"

"It's only eleven," Buffy pointed out, starting to get a little defensive, even indignant at his near accusing tone. "And I didn't LET her do anything, I was asleep. Now what the hell is going on here?"

Wesley exhaled again, somehow in one breath managing to simultaneously convey frustration, horror, dismay, and anxious tension all at once- really something that would have fascinated Buffy if she were not so impatiently waiting for his words.

"If she has been gone for some time now, then it may be too late…I should have called the moment I knew, never mind gathering information. I should have-"

"Wesley- just tell me what's happening!" Buffy exploded, her voice rising, almost shrill, and she unconsciously pounded a fist into her thigh with frustrated emphasis. "What is going on- what's happening with Faith?!"

"I'll tell you as quickly as I can, Buffy…I only have so much time before my absence may be discovered, and even so they may have ways of tapping the line. I am not sure how aware they are of my allegiance with you..they may very well suspect, if not know everything. I've a feeling I will very soon be taken in for questioning…or what they refer to as questioning…"

Something iced over in Buffy's chest, and she stood rigidly, her features stiffening with sudden, fearful anticipatory realization. She knew…suddenly, she was quite certain that she knew, and the knowledge terrified her…

"Wesley…" she began, and her voice was so suddenly small and hushed that Giles drew closer to her, frowning deeply with intense concern. "Wesley, they know, don't they…they found out somehow, about Faith…"

She didn't have to see Wesley to know that he was nodding, his eyes darting about the room- whatever it was that he was in.

"Yes," he said quietly, "yes, Buffy, I'm afraid that they do."

Buffy was unable for several seconds to move, to even think, as the fear wrapped itself around her heart, creeping up her throat to temporarily steal her voice…and when her ability to think did kick in, it kicked in an overdrive, so that her mind raced with her anxiety…

They knew…they KNEW…what were they going to do now?! How would she be able to stop whatever they did, what were they going to do?! What would they do to Faith- what would…they had wanted to kill her, to let her starve to death when she hadn't even been a threat to them, when she had been in a coma! What would they do now that she was healthy and well and…what would they do knowing that she was in fact alive, that Buffy and Giles and Wesley had been hiding her…

And god, she wasn't even here now, Buffy had no idea where she was…why had she had to do that?! Why couldn't she have just stayed put- why couldn't she-

Wesley was talking again, and Buffy forced herself to listen, to try to understand what he was saying to her.

"Buffy, listen closely, I'm wary of repeating myself here…I'm terribly sorry that I did not know earlier, so that I could give you sooner warning, but I am telling you all that I know now, as quickly as I am able to. Yesterday morning Jana Drury, the third Slayer, entered a dream into her Watcher-assigned dream journal that was strongly prophetic in nature. It contained three Slayers…two Slayers that were, as she described it, 'both new and old,' as well as herself. She described the second Slayer as an 'odd mixing of dark light,' both in coloring and in aura…and I believe that we both realize who this description is referring to."

He paused, taking a short breath, before continuing hurriedly. "Her Watcher was suspicious as well as intrigued, and reported it to higher members of the Council. I believe they may have already been slightly dissatisfied with Faith's death and my tales of my visit to you…they somehow managed to come to the conclusion based off Jana's dream that something was amiss, that it was indeed Faith that she had dreamed about, and that Faith being 'old and new' meant that she, as you, had once more returned to life. I believe they also suspect that she has been glamourized…and I do mean to warn you that there are methods of seeing through glamours, and that glamours themselves can be unintentionally flawed or weakened by the emotions of either the person casting it or the person glamourized-"

"Wesley," Buffy interrupted, her voice louder than she had intended as she attempted to shake him out of his increasingly lengthy, despite his claim to the opposite, monologue. "Wesley, what are they going to do? How can we help Faith now?"

"They…Buffy, they have methods of investigation even I do not understand. They sent a team out yesterday to capture Faith, to transport her back to England for trial..as we are twelve hours ahead of you…they should be here, shortly, if not already. And if you do not know where Faith is…they may already have her…"

Buffy just froze…for several moments she couldn't speak. They had Faith, or they might have Faith…Buffy had no idea where she was, if she was safe. What if they did have her…what if they were really going to hurt her, maybe even kill her…they had been all too willing to essentially kill her when she was in a coma, after all…

"What?" she blurted out the moment she had voice, and her words began to tumble out rapidly, almost too urgent and rushed to be understood. "When are they coming? How many of them? what will they do to her? Wesley, do they know what the glamour looks like? How will they try to kidnap her? What about us, about you and me and Giles…will they be wanting to come after us too? What else do you know- you don't know if they're here yet? You-"

"Buffy…Buffy, please slow down," Wesley replied, his voice still tensed, but showing his surprise at her rapid speech as well. "I do not know for certain that they have arrived in Sunnydale yet, but I find it highly likely that they have, given the time frame. I am terribly sorry for my delayed knowledge… and yes, if you do not know where Faith is or for how long she has been gone, then I would prepare myself for the possibility that they may have her."

"Where would they be taking her?" Buffy said rigidly, and her muscles were so badly tensed that she could actually feel a dull aching set into her back, shoulders, and neck. She was only dimly aware of Giles standing nearby, watching her in deep concern. "If they did get her…where would they take her? What would they be planning to do?"

"There will be five of them with her, Buffy…four to actually take her, and one to drive. I am not sure exactly how they would do it, but a spell of some kind can be used to track a glamourized person, I believe…they may very well have used one to track her first, and then went to find her. So they may very well be able to find her even if you do not know where she is, and she is not at your house-"

"Wesley! Can you please tell me something that will actually help me to stop this?!" Buffy snapped in a much sharper tone than she had originally intended. She couldn't help it…everything Wesley said only seemed to slam the hopelessness of the situation even further into her mind. What if it was too late…

But it couldn't be. It simply couldn't be…Buffy could NOT let them take her, she would NOT let them have her! She would not-

"Quentin Travers will, if not actually be along with the team collecting Faith, be actively and frequently in touch with them…and this is very important for you to understand, Buffy. You must apprehend them before they capture her…and if they have her now, you must get her back. For I suspect that the trial to take place in England is only a formality…and may in fact never take place at all," Wesley said darkly. "If Faith bucks them or gives resistance in any way- which I am sure you know, knowing the way she is, that she will do so- then they may very well simply decide to…well, the word they use is to sterilize her…but when it comes down to it, the true meaning, Buffy, is that they would intentionally bring about her death."

As those words sank in, Buffy's mouth went dry, her legs suddenly feeling weak and unsteady beneath her…her head began to pound steadily, and her heart was fluttering in her chest…

Death…they would kill Faith. They would kill her…

No…NO! They would NOT, they could NOT…Buffy wouldn't let them. No way would she let them…she was NOT going to lose another person she loved, and especially not Faith. She would do anything within her power to save her- and she WOULD save her, the bastards were not going to lay a hand on her girlfriend. If they even dared to try-

She could feel her initial horror and fear harden abruptly into a stony rage, and her voice was hard, her eyes narrowing markedly as she spoke to Wesley again.

"Where would they take her if they had her?"

"Most likely a warehouse, until they could obtain transportation back to England…a remote one, and one with good service for cell phones and other technology. I should think that they would keep Faith there, probably chained or tranquilized, or both, until they were able to receive the orders to either take her to England…or to terminate her life," Wesley said quietly. "Whatever they resolve to do, as soon as she is taken care of, I have no doubt that they will then come for you…they will still be counting on the element of surprise, you see, of you not knowing what has happened to her."

"A warehouse?" Buffy interrupted quickly and impatiently. "Are you sure?"

"Reasonably so, yes…I have found the addresses of two such ones in Sunnydale, but I believe they would use the one more isolated from the others…"

Buffy grabbed a pen from the drawer of the small table by the couch and scrawled the address on the back of her hand as he read it to her.

"Thanks, Wesley," she said abruptly, as soon as she had it down. "I have to go. Be careful."

"Yes, of course, Buffy- and you be careful too. They may very well be caught off guard by you, but they still doubtless are determined to punish you for what they see as your betrayal…perhaps at very high cost…"

"I'm not worried," Buffy said darkly. "I'm pissed. And that's all I need now to take them down…"

She started to hang up, but a sudden thought struck her. "Wesley? What about you…if they find out how you helped us, that you know…what will they do to you?"

Wesley chuckled, a noise that was almost entirely without humor. "I suppose that I, too, am not worried as of now, Buffy…I can only take care of my own conscience, and if by serving it rightly, I find myself at their displeasure…then I only suppose that I will have to use what resources I can to extrapolate myself."

"Thank you," Buffy said more softly, yet with fierce feeling. "For everything. And be careful."

Hanging up, she turned abruptly toward Giles, her face hardening again. "The Council had come after Faith. They might already have her…and they might want to kill her. Wesley gave me the address of where they might be taking her, I'm going now."

She started toward the living room exit, but Giles grabbed her arm, stopping her quickly. "I am, of course, coming with you, you realize."

Growing irritated quickly, Buffy shook her head, trying to pull away from a grip that for Giles, was surprisingly firm.

"No, you aren't. Someone has to stay with Dawn. Let go of me."

But Giles's hold on her did not lessen. Looking her in the eye with an expression even more fierce and determined than her own, he said tersely, "Buffy, I will not lose another person I care about. I will not allow you to go there alone, and I will not allow myself to do any less than absolutely everything I can to get Faith back with us, whether or not they have her. In both cases, this means that I go with you- and let me remind you that the longer you stand here and argue with me, the less time Faith has for us to help her."

Sucking in her breath with a mixture of irritation and reluctant agreement, Buffy nodded tightly. "Then call Willow and Tara, tell them to break all laws of speed to get here, and meet me in the car."

With that she pulled out of his grasp, hurrying out the door…as she slid behind the driver's seat, cranking up the engine and tapping her fingers on the dashboard with rapid impatience, she was very, very aware of the adrenaline already shooting through her body as she unconsciously prepped herself for war.

They thought they could take another of hers away from her…they had no idea at all just who Buffy Summers was, no idea what they would get back in return.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

With the call to Willow and Tara made, Giles had joined Buffy quickly in the car, and their rapid journey to the warehouse where Faith may or may not have been taken had begun. Buffy, never the best drive under even ordinary circumstances, drove with a speed and recklessness only surpassed by Faith, only heightened by her frequent lifting of her left hand from the steering wheel to check the address written across her palm. It was a mostly silent ride.

After Giles had informed her that he had instructed Willow to hack into the safe house's security systems for their easy entrance, and that she would call his cell phone to let them know when the deed was accomplished. Other than this he mainly hung onto the dashboard and unconsciously clutched at his seatbelt, his face set grimly.

Buffy didn't notice; her thoughts were occupied only with the very narrowed concentration on getting to and rescuing Faith. How and when she would do this did not enter her mind…she would find a way. She had to…all she could do then was concentrate on getting herself and Giles where Faith might be, before it was too late.

But it wasn't too late- it couldn't be too late. Buffy wouldn't even allow herself the possibility of that kind of thinking. It WASN'T a possibility…Faith would be fine. She would be fine, and they would get her back, and they'd take care of the Council somehow…they would…

They had almost reached the warehouse when Willow called Giles, telling him that they had arrived at the Summers' house. Tara had checked on Dawn and found her to be still safely asleep, and Willow was starting on the hacking in earnest. After his relaying of the message to Buffy, the car had once more fallen into a silence as Buffy zoomed it through the mostly unoccupied evening roads.

When they arrived at the warehouse, Buffy scrambled out from the car almost as soon as she had turned the engine off, and Giles quickly piled out after her. The building was small but seemed very sturdy, with very tiny windows along the walls, placed up high. It would be impossible to see inside them or climb through them without a ladder, and this was undoubtedly the intention.

There was also a large dark van parked at its side…and even without seeing the way Giles's face stiffened with recognition, his eyes narrowing, Buffy knew that it belonged to the Council. They were here…which meant that they had Faith here. Which meant that what Wesley had warned them of was indeed already set into motion…

But they would stop it…they would not allow it to go through. They were here… they would not-

Her jaw clinching, Buffy began to stride around the building's exterior, checking out any possible entrances as quickly and thoroughly as possible, dimly aware of Giles following. It soon became apparent that the only entrance was the front one, guarded by security system…it was a good thing that Giles had foreseen this, and asked Willow to look into it.

Less than five minutes had passed since they had arrived at the warehouse, but for Buffy, every second seemed an eternity wasted- time where she could have been already in there, where they could be hurting Faith…where they could be…

She and Giles had gathered what weapons she had hidden in the trunk of her car, placing them inside shoes, belts, and holders sewn into the inside of their jackets, but as soon as this was done, she had wanted to break into the warehouse, simply break the security system with one strong blow so they could go in. But Giles, despite the anxiety she saw in his eyes, had insisted upon waiting for Willow's call. If they set the system off, there would be no element of surprise in their movements…and that might make all the difference between Faith's life and death. If the Council were made aware of their presence, they could hurt her or kill her before she and Giles ever even reached her.

Still, Buffy was sorely tempted just to take an ax to the stupid little buttons and be done with it…

Just as she found herself gripping the switchblade in her pocket even more tightly- hopefully one she would have no use for this evening- Giles's cell phone rang, and he listened intently to Willow on the other line.

"She cleared it," he reported back to Buffy hurriedly; Buffy was already pulling the now-unlocked door open as he spoke back into the phone. "Thank you, Willow, we will call you back, eventually…"

The warehouse opened up into a long hallway, with surprisingly many doors all lining its single length. Nearly immediately Giles and Buffy saw the two members of the Watcher's Council standing in the hallway, walking towards them, seeming prepared not only to attack, but to alert others to their presence inside.

Buffy rushed to meet them, her feet surprisingly light, nearly soundless, on the concrete floor, despite the quickness of her speed. She could faintly hear Giles coming up behind her, but she was focused entirely on the two men before her. Her heart kicked up its pulse rate, and rage and determination jumpstarted the adrenaline in her limbs, the automatic offensive movements she carried out. She thought of nothing but quickly and efficiently disabling the two men before her, the men who posed a threat to Faith…

She struck both at once, hitting one in the solar plexus, the other in the side. As both fell, one smacking against the wall more loudly than she would have liked, she quickly pressed the sensitive nerve areas on the back of their necks with her thumbs, causing them to black out. Giles had already gathered their fallen weapons and handed what appeared to be a crowbar to Buffy, and then, to her surprise, a couple of unused but prepped needles.

"Tranquilizers," he said coolly, and she saw that he had two for himself as well. "May come in use."

He injected each man with a small amount from both needles before following her down the rest of the long hallway rapidly. Buffy was not bothering to stop to peer into the small windows of each doorway to look and see if Faith or any of the people with her were inside. She was relying on her Slayer bond to guide her toward wherever they had her.

And within a few seconds, just a few steps down the long hallway, it was kicking in. Buffy knew that Faith was there, could sense her, feel her…at the very end of the hallway she suspected, for their connection to each other, Buffy's sensing of her, started out faintly, growing more intense with her every step toward her. And she knew that Faith sensed her too…Faith knew that she was coming for her.

Buffy sped up her pace, neither noticing nor caring if Giles were keeping up with her anymore, knowing only that she had to keep going, to get to Faith, get her out. The closer she got the more strongly she could sense her…way more strongly than she normally would, perhaps because of the precarious situation at hand and both of their heightened emotions. She could sense Faith's grogginess and knew she was awake, but still at least partly affected by the tranquilizers. She was alert, however…and Buffy was very aware of her run of emotions, shifting from relief and excitement at her knowledge of Buffy's approach to anxiety for her and rage at those no doubt inside the room with her, keeping her captive.

But it didn't matter, none of that mattered…because Buffy knew now that Faith was okay. She was there, she was alive, they hadn't hurt her too badly, or worse…she was still there.

Of course, Buffy would have known if they had killed Faith- she would have felt it instantly, been rendered immobile and unresponsive from the intensity of the knowledge, perhaps even vicariously feeling it. But even knowing that this was so, she had still worried, still dreaded what could have occurred…what she could not have endured. For her in one to not only bury her mother, but also to love her lover, would have been much more than she could have bore.

No other people apprehended them, Watchers or otherwise, as Buffy finally came to a stop before the last door on the left side of the hall…a door she knew without having to look into the small rectangular window was the one where they were holding Faith. As Giles caught up with her, Buffy threw him a rapid, wordless glance, a brief forewarning of her intention to take action. She knew that Faith could sense her outside the door, no doubt knew of her intention to break in…

With one sharp kick, Buffy broke the locked handle off of the doorknob, breaking the locking device and causing the door to fly open rapidly and with great force. She saw quickly that there were three men in there, one whom the door had hit and knocked into the wall…the wall where Faith was chained, sitting on the floor nearby him.

Suddenly everyone was moving at once, in a bustle of scrambling movement and reactions…Faith was scooting herself over to the man Buffy had hit the door with rapid agility, despite her chained hands and feet . In one swift motion she had managed to hook her chained wrists, with chain attached, around his neck, choking him slightly as she held his body down with her own. Across the room one man started toward them, but Buffy decked him in the face with a full strength Slayer punch that sent him sprawling to the floor, teeth loosened, crying out in pain. The one man remaining standing was reaching for his gun, but Buffy soon kicked that out of his hands so that it skittered noisily across the concrete floor. Bending both arms painfully around his back until she heard bones straining nearly to the breaking point, she held him hard against her where he could neither fight back nor break loose…

Adrenaline was pulsing through her body, making her head pound, her body buzz slightly, and extreme fury clouded her every thought, even down to her posture and focus. All she wanted was to kill the man she held before her. He had kidnapped Faith…he chained her up here, been planning to hurt her, even kill her…he had wanted to take Faith away from her forever, and all Buffy could think of was how he very well might have done so. She wanted to snap his neck right then and there, to throw his lifeless body down on the floor and proceed to take out the other two as well.

But she didn't…and without her needing to ask him to or even signal him with her eyes, Giles came to her, injecting the man she was holding with part of one of the tranquilizers he had taken from the men in the hallway. As the man's eyes closed quickly and he went limp in her arms, Buffy dropped him to the floor, her eyes quickly scanning the room once more.

The man she had thrown to the ground was getting painfully to his feet, speaking shakily into a device he had managed to withdraw from his pocket. Buffy strode over to him, kicking it out of his hand and grabbing him in a hold that made him cry out again before Giles sent him into unconsciousness as well.

The man that Faith had been half choking with the chain was unconscious by now. She had managed to maneuver her hands around so that both thumbs pressed hard into the tender tendons of his neck, making him black out in a few seconds' time. Now as Giles's and Buffy's eyes darted about the room and into the hallway for any more approaching, she looked up at them with wide by shining dark eyes, unable to suppress a grin that told them much more clearly than she could ever say about her overwhelming relief and love for them.

Seeing no more approaching- yet, anyway- Buffy ran to her, dropping by her side and hugging her tightly. Never mind that she was still chained and wrapped around an unconscious guy…she could hear Faith's heart pounding and was not able to keep its beats distinguished from her own…she was so relieved to be touching her, to see her, to know that she was okay, that she was right here in her arms…

"Are you okay?" she asked breathlessly, and her throat choked slightly as she squeezed her tight. "Did they hurt you? Did…"

"No, no, I'm good," Faith said quickly, though her voice was slightly breathless, and she could not in any way return Buffy's fierce embrace. "Just kinda tied up here…literally…this guy's kinda stuck on top of me now…and not in the way I normally wouldn't care about…"

Buffy tried to give her a dirty look, but she laughed in spite of herself as she started to undo the chains from around the man's neck as quickly as she could without hurting Faith. She could sense Giles standing close to them, his eyes moving rapidly from the unconscious men on the ground to Faith to the open doorway with still-obvious tension.

"Faith, do they have a key somewhere to get you out of these…"

"Yeah, in his pocket," she said, nodding towards the man still half on top of her. "I'm sorry, B, Giles…I was just gonna go walking, and they came up out of nowhere with those fuckin' needles…"

"It's okay, sweetie…we know, it's okay," Buffy cut her off, her voice soothing, yet also shaking slightly. The adrenaline was starting to wear off a little now, and she was just so relieved, so damn glad to be with her that she was actually starting to feel a little dizzy with it.

She found the keys in a few moments and began to undo Faith's chains…but just then, two men appeared in the doorway. One of them, needle in hand, Buffy did not recognize…but she suspected that this needle contained something much more powerful and lethal than a tranquilizer. And the other man…the other man was none other than Quentin Travers, his expression showing all at once anger, arrogance, startled unease, and triumph as his eyes took in the sight in the room before him…

Again everyone began to move all at once. Travers did not speak a word, but as if given some silent signal, the man at his side lurched sideways towards where Buffy and Faith were crouched on the floor. Giles, still holding one partly used tranquilizer, was moving as well, at the same moment, if not the same speed, that Buffy was. Even Faith, her hand freed if not her feet, was striking out the best she could.

As the man moved to grab Buffy, she twisted aside and came up behind him, grabbing him into a hold instead. Twisting his arm until he dropped the needle at Faith's feet, she waited the few seconds it took for Faith to get the needle they had used on the man nearby, and reach to stick him with it in the arm.

Within a few moments this man too was deposited unconscious on the floor…but this was nothing compared to what was going on across the room from them.

When Buffy and Faith had focused their attentions on the man now lying on the floor at their feet, Giles had lunged at Quentin Travers himself, ignoring the man at his side entirely. Grabbing him roughly by the labels of his collar, still gripping the partly used needle in his right hand, he had slammed the older man's back into the wall with a force that made the usually unruffled mans' eyes widen. By the time the girls turned to look, Buffy, forgetting entirely about the chains still binding Faith's feet, he was well into a hissing, cold-voiced addressal that actually stunned her, even scared her…for she had never heard Giles speak in such a tone before, for any reason, in front of her. And to only shock her further was the fact that he was not only forcing Travers back against the wall, but also holding a knife to his throat. Not a needle, but a KNIFE…

"If you ever dare to take from me again someone that I care about…" he spat, his usually kind grey eyes hard and steely with fury, voice very tightly controlled, "then you will no longer be fit to head the Watcher's Council, Quentin….for you will no longer have eyes to see with."

"Rupert, put that down," Travers said firmly, commanding, but his eyes betrayed his anxiety, and he did not attempt to move or fight back. "Let us be reasonable here. Do you really suppose that you will not-"

"YOU are the one who seems blind to reason, Quentin," Giles interrupted heatedly, and his grip on the knife tightened, perhaps deliberately. "You see nothing but rules and procedures, standards and traditional practices, and most of all, your damn foolish pride. You see nothing of values and morality, of honor and redemption…you see nothing of human worth and value. You see people only as an extension of their services to you, rather than for who and what they are as men, as young women…"

He was working himself up now, his rage clearly intensifying with each word, and Buffy and Faith were still with shock and odd fascination, Buffy's hands unmoving on Faith's chains as they stared at the two men across from them, wide-eyed and slightly breathless with anticipation.

"So you think that you want to kill Faith for the deeds she has done in the past- for the embarrassment she caused you and the trouble she wreaked, trouble YOU could not put a stop to? For the fact that you could not and cannot mold her to suit your will for her? You would kill Buffy and myself as well, for protecting what you failed to give support of? You would do that without another thought, though we posed no harm to you or yours, simply to preserve your pride?"

He was getting faster in his speech now, his words more fierce, and his fingers were beginning to stretch out Travers's shirt where he was holding him, but it seemed to make no difference or acknowledgement in his mind. He continued on in his spiel, too quickly and furiously for Travers to get in a word even had he the inclination to do so.

"You would do this without considering the fact that to do so would undoubtedly put the world in a state of doom! Do you not realize the benefits- the enormous privilege- of having three Slayers alive in the world today?! Kill Buffy and Faith and another will not be called, for both have already once died and had another called in their stead! This is the only time in the history of Watchers and Slayers that such a thing has occurred, that such powerful forces against evil existed all at once- and you would deliberately throw that away! Not only this, but you would do so neither knowing nor caring what you have doomed yourself and the rest of the human race to, all for your foolish, arrogant pride!"

"I advise you to explain yourself, Rupert," Travers said icily, though he was in no position to speak in such a manner, and the wariness in his eyes remained fixated on the knife in Giles's hand.

"So you admit then that you know nothing- or is this another of your mind games?" Giles asked bitterly, not moving either hand so much as a centimeter. "Do you mean to tell me that the omniscient Watcher's council is unaware of the hell goddess in our midst intent on opening the orbs between dimensions, regardless of the destruction it would cause our world? Do you mean to tell me that you were unaware that the key she must use to do so has been entrusted to the care of the very Slayers you now intend to have killed? If you end the lives of either, then you may as well kill yourself and all others you know…for only the two of them together can stop her, save the world as we know it…your sorry Council included. And if you think that you and your naïve puppet of a Slayer can handle it without them, then are me deeply foolish even than I thought."

With that last hissed word, Giles gave him one final shaking before releasing him abruptly, not looking at him again as Travers's legs buckled slightly and he stared at him, blinking as if he could neither accept or respond to what had happened. As Giles turned back to the girls, telling them curtly to come, Buffy quickly lowered her eyes, helping Faith undo the rest of her chains. And Travers still had not made a move, had not said a word…

They were at the doorway when Giles turned back to him again, his voice slightly more controlled, but still every bit as hard as his expression.

"These men will live..but without these girls, it won't be for long. For them, or for any other human on this planet."

Turning around again, Giles kept going, and Buffy and Faith followed Quentin didn't try to stop them…still he did and said nothing at all. Standing against the wall, leaned against it slightly, he watched them go…

Buffy could feel herself, nearly holding her breath, sensing Faith's tension beside her as well, and yet it was coupled with almost exhilaration as well. She didn't know what would happen next, what Travers would do when they left when all the other men regained unconsciousness. She didn't know for how long they would be allowed to walk free, whether their lives and liberty was still endangered…

But she had Faith back…she had her back, was holding tightly to her hand, feeling her pressed closely to her side as they walked out of the building. She had Faith back…and god, she was never going to let her be taken away again.

And damn…now that it was almost over, awe and major admiration for Giles and what he had done was beginning to enter her awareness as well. Buffy knew exactly what Faith must be thinking, and she had to admit that she agreed. Giles had been totally wicked.

No one spoke until they reached Buffy's car; it was immediately understood without any words needing to be spoken that Giles rather than Buffy would be driving back home. As Giles reached the driver's side of the car and opened the door, and the girls, still holding tightly to each other, came up behind him to slide into the backseat, he looked back at them suddenly, speaking for the first time since his heated confrontation with Travers.

"Faith…are you all right? Did they injure you, or…"

His voice was much quieter and gentler now, but it still had a hard edge to it, as if he might blow up once more if made unhappy by her reply. Faith nodded quickly, still holding Buffy's hand tightly, and the younger girl's face was still slightly stunned as she eyed him a bit apprehensively.

"No…just doped me up a while. I'm all right," she shook her head in seeming half amusement, half incredulity as a smile broke across her face. "Damn though…you really gave it to him back there, the bastard…"

"You don't think that I would stand for him to threaten us without letting him understand exactly who and what he was dealing with, do you?" Giles replied somewhat tightly. "I believe in hindsight that I let him off entirely too easily."

Both girls couldn't keep back smiles as the three of them got into the car, Giles first very quickly but obviously affectionately touching Faith's shoulder. Not wanting to lose contact with her for a moment, Buffy pulled Faith onto her lap, wrapping her arms around her and giving her several quick kisses on her forehead, cheeks, and chin before finally giving her a longer one on her mouth. Faith returned her kiss eagerly, her arms going around her tightly; even when Buffy pulled away a little, she kept her body pressed in to the blonde's, her head snuggled against her neck and shoulder. Her heart swelling with her love for her, her thrill to have her back, Buffy ran a hand over Faith's head, giving her forehead a gentle kiss almost in the manner that she would have done for Dawn. Faith hadn't said and probably never would, but Buffy knew that she must have been afraid.

Giles pretended not to notice them in the backseat as he started up the car, as Buffy whispered in Faith's ear her love for her and relief for her safety. Nevertheless, both girls thought they caught a glimpse of him trying to hide a small smile.

It wasn't until they had nearly reached the Summers' home that Faith asked it, still leaning back into Buffy's arms.

"Giles…do you think they'll try again?"

"I do not think so," Giles replied after a moment's pause, and his voice was gentle, but it hardened as he continued. "But if they do, they can rest assured that they will regret it."

The girls had no doubt that he meant it. And as the not-uncomfortable silence settled in again, and they remained wrapped in each other's arms, they let their minds remain only grounded in the moment, in the sweetness of the present victory.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Buffy smiled slowly, lazily as she arched up from her prone position slightly, stretching her back, before lying back down again. It was less than two weeks before Christmas, and yet, as usual in Sunnydale, the day was warm and sunny, the skies clear, a perfect day for the beach. Which, of course, was exactly where she was now.

She could feel the sand on the soles of her feet, the salty water drying in her hair, the sun's warmth beaming down upon her back and shoulders and legs, as she lay on her stomach on her beach towel, eyes closed. Days like this just didn't come too often in her line of work, and especially lately, after all the chaos and emotion of the past few weeks, and Buffy intended to soak up every bit of enjoyment from it that she could.

With her eyes closed, her other senses seemed even sharper, than normal, and Buffy listened to everything going on around her, taking it in with a near serenity that she hadn't felt in…well, she had no idea, but way too long. Nearby her Willow and Tara were sitting together under an umbrella on a blanket, making mini sand castles together and talking softly. Dawn was stretched on a her stomach a few feet away, sunbathing in a bikini that Buffy had entirely disapproved of until Dawn had pointed out that it covered more than Faiths' and her own combined did- which, as this was almost true, prevented Buffy from being able to say anything further.

Giles had declined to come, despite Buffy's urging, declaring a dislike of all things beachy, but Buffy suspected that this reasoning had more to do with his reluctance to be seen in his bathing suit and his near horror to see the girls in theirs, particularly Faith.

Buffy couldn't blame him for this, really…she had a hard time imagining him in his bathing suit too. Would it be made of tweed? Would it have suspenders?

The last time she had looked up, Xander and Faith had been in the water, mock fighting and splashing each other rather noisily. Anya hadn't seemed entirely pleased with that, but other than some mutterings to herself and developing a narrow-eyed stare, she had not tried to stop them. Buffy could still hear them from a slight distance, could hear Faith's loud laughter, and her smile widened, her heart squeezing with love for her and gladness for her pleasure…that all of them could find pleasure today.

They had all definitely needed something like this, a temporary getaway, a way to ease slightly all the difficult adjustments they'd been having to make since Joyce's death, to forget for a little while the stress and pain and fear of their every day existence. And what better way to do it than to celebrate Faith's eighteenth birthday?

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"Everything's ready, right?" Buffy asked somewhat anxiously, glancing about at the others also standing in the living room with her. "The cake's still okay…and Willow, we have enough cups rights? And plates? You have plates and napkins? Do you think we got enough? People drink a lot, we might run out-"

"If we do, we can use the ones in your cabinets, Buff," Willow pointed out gently. "But don't worry, we have them."

"And drinks- you got drinks, Tara, right?" Buffy asked next, spinning around to face the other girl quickly. "And not the diet kind, the good stuff- and not the off brands-"

"I got them, Buffy," Tara said softly, giving her a warm smile and touching her shoulder. "D-don't worry… we have everything. A-and she doesn't know…"

Buffy exhaled slowly, trying to settle the nervous fluttering of anxiety in her stomach. "Okay…okay," she said aloud, aware of Dawn smirking slightly nearby and ignoring her. "Okay then…I'll just…she doesn't know, you're sure?"

"Of course she doesn't," Giles spoke up now too, and he smiled at her as well, briefly touching her arm. "She will be quite surprised, I can imagine… and they should be arriving shortly."

It had been a very long and difficult past two weeks…since Joyce's funeral and Faith's kidnapping and subsequent rescue, everyone had been trying so hard to start to cope, to find a way back to something approaching normal, that they had almost forgot just what 'normal' was. Everything was so different now, and they still felt it heavily, were still struggling to cope with it.

So far the Council had not dared to bother them again, whether or not with threats or discipline and/or punishment for their dramatic reclaiming of Faith. They had not contacted them since, although they were no doubt keeping tabs on them in the limited manner that they dared to. They had spoken with Wesley, however. After hearing their story of Faith's break out, he had informed them that he had resigned from the Watcher's Council, before they had had time to fire him. Not only that, but in the very next day he had received a job offering…one from Angel. Apparently one of his partners in his business, Doyle, had died, and now that it was only him and Cordelia, he needed another. This was good news for everyone…Wesley, at least, seemed to be getting through everything relatively well.

With everyone else it was different. Dawn had started school again about a week ago, but she was having trouble concentrating, her grades slipping. She had mood swings often, alternating between anger and grief, fear and brass sassiness, clinging and standoffishness. Everyone did their best to try and give her what she seemed to need, and their protection of her intensified even more, but it was hard when each had his or her own coping process to deal with too.

Buffy, for her part, had decided to drop out of college. It was necessary…she needed to be there for Dawn, to support her emotionally and financially. She and Faith refused to take money from Giles, feeling it vital somehow not to have to resort to that, and so had instead both taken up jobs. Buffy was a Tae Kwon Do assistant in a new fitness center, and Faith, with the help of a fake ID, had taken a job as a construction worker in the same site as Xander. Money was tight, but they believed they would be able to manage.

Glory had not shown herself since their meeting with Ben in the morgue… and neither had they decided what, if anything, they should do with their knowledge of him as her host. No one wanted to think about it…in their own ways, each was subconsciously hoping that she would simply go away, give up on her key. They knew it wasn't likely…but they hoped…

They were all settling into a routine, but there was still a heaviness surrounding them, the difference in their lives now so clear and terribly upsetting to them all, even as they rarely spoke about what was now missing, all that had been stripped from them. And so when Buffy had realized that Faith's birthday was approaching, only a couple of weeks before Christmas, she had taken the chance to try and organize a celebration for her, a way to for at least one day make her smile, lighten their burdens at least temporarily…

She did not know for sure, but strongly suspected that Faith had never had a birthday party- not thanks to them, she remembered guiltily, thinking back to when Faith had first come to Sunnydale and said nothing when her birthday came and went. She hadn't told them, of course, but neither had they bothered to ask.

Buffy also knew that Faith, despite having lived in Sunnydale for almost a year now, had been to the beach only once. So with that in mind, she had begun to plan a surprise birthday party for Faith at her house; the next day, all of them were taking the day off to take her to the beach as well. She was eighteen now, and Buffy wanted to make a fuss over it…to make a fuss over her. A party was exactly what they needed- Faith probably almost more than anyone.

Buffy tensed as she heard a car pull up into her driveway…that had to be Xander, taking Faith home as usual after work. Giles, Willow, and Tara had parked their cars down the block a little ways so she wouldn't suspect when she came home.

"Everyone, she's here!" Buffy hissed, motioning hurriedly with her hands for everyone to be quiet. "Shh, stop moving around, shh!"

As everyone immediately fell silent, Buffy waited anxiously, feeling her heart starting to beat harder and faster in her chest with her nerves. Faith was going to be surprised, that she was sure of…but would she like it? What if she didn't…what if-

It was too late to worry about that now, and Buffy knew it was a silly thought anyway, but she couldn't help it. The closer to the door her girlfriend and Xander drew, the more jumpy she felt…

And then the door was opening, and Faith was stepping inside, still in the torn, dirty jeans and wife beater she wore on the job, with Xander in similar garb coming up behind her. As soon as they heard her come inside, everyone, even Xander, shouted in unison.

"Surprise!"

Faith started violently, in a way that looked so comical and completely un-Faith-like that several giggled, and even Buffy had to smile. Her head whipped around rapidly, and her eyes quickly widened to an almost comical size with her shock as she quickly moved to stand in the living room entrance, taking in everything inside it.

There was a lot to take in. Balloons and streamers, confetti strewn across the floor that Buffy knew would be a pain to get up later but which had looked so festive she had been unable to resist. People standing around smiling at her, obviously pleased with their caper, snacks laid out on the coffee table, a banner on the wall behind the couch, quite obviously made and decorated by Buffy and Dawn's rather girlish hands reading 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY FAITH!!!!' in huge capital letters….

Faith's eyes darted about, taking it all in, and for once she seemed entirely speechless. The others grinned at her reaction, enjoying her expression as she continued to look around, seeming unable to decide what to focus on. Willow broke the silence first, smiling at Buffy, then Tara.

"Well I think it's safe to say that she's surprised…"

Xander chuckled, and he clapped Faith's shoulder with real affection, giving her a trademark goofy but genuine grin.

"Happy birthday, Faith…Buffy's been planning this for the past few days now, so I hope you like it!"

Dawn, apparently unable to hold herself back for any longer, ran up to her as well, giving her a fierce, exuberant hug. Closing her eyes, Dawn's face was smiling, yet not entirely free of the usual tension that now plagued it as she pressed her cheek into Faith's shoulder.

"Happy birthday, Faith…don't you like it? You're not saying anything…" she said a little worriedly.

Faith just shook her head, seeming still unable to find words…and then she laughed, smiling a slow, disbelieving, and slightly dazed smile that gradually grew wider.

"No…no, of course I like it…I mean…just…damn, you guys! This is…you did this for me? You did this…DAMN…"

Relieved, Dawn smiled, squeezing her tightly again, and this time Faith hugged her back, her eyes still wide with surprise and near awe, seeming overwhelmed. When Dawn released her, she almost stumbled into the living room to join the others, her eyes still flitting about rapidly. Buffy smiled, finally relaxing…it was clear that Faith liked what she had done, even if she didn't' know how to respond. She was so glad she had done this for her now… watching her reaction to such a small thing, a few decorations and snacks- for she hadn't even seen the cake and drinks and ice cream in the kitchen yet- touched her, even as it shamed her for not having done something for her the year before. The effort and anxiety was more than worth it just to see that look on her face…

When Faith still seemed to be half frozen, her limbs not working as well as usual, Buffy went to her herself, taking her hands and squeezing them gently. When Faith looked at her, a strange glinting in her eye that gave away some, if not all of the feelings flitting through her, Buffy kissed her cheek quickly, unable to hide her smile.

"Happy birthday…"

"B…" Faith breathed, and that seemed all she was able to manage. She hugged Buffy back with a fierce strength that she would have with no other, closing her eyes. Buffy felt a slight tremor run through her and held her gently even in contrast to Faith's tight grip, kissing the side of her head and blinking back sudden tears. She knew the others were watching, whether or not they were pretending not to, but she didn't care. She suspected even Faith didn't at the moment.

"You're welcome, baby," she whispered, her hand going to the back of Faith's head, "I'm glad you're happy. I love you."

"I love you too," Faith whispered, and her voice was slightly hoarse. When she pulled away, Buffy saw the tears shining in her eyes, and her heart wrenched.

She hugged her again, giving her a quick kiss before looking back at the others. Xander was openly grinning, at least until Anya sharply elbowed him in the ribs.

"Well let's not just stand here…we've got cake and ice cream in the there to eat, and singing and candle blowing to do…and presents…" Buffy said in a normal volume, and Dawn shot a suspicious look at Anya quickly.

"Now I know we usually do wishes when we blow out candles…but Anya knows not to do that anymore, right?"

"Oh thank you, little girl," Anya snapped, glaring at her. "Remind me of my deficiencies now that I'm human…make fun of my weakness and fragility. That's right, just go ahead."

Faith snickered as Buffy led her towards the kitchen with Anya muttering to herself behind.

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Lying on her stomach on the beach, sighing instinctively as the sun's rays soaked into her flesh, Buffy smiled as she thought back to the day before, remembering Faith's birthday party. It had gone smoothly, with everyone, even Giles and Dawn, seeming to be enjoying themselves, and everyone seeming for once to be able to let down their guards and relax. As nervous as she had been planning it, dreading that something would go wrong- for didn't it always do so on her own birthday?- as soon as it had started, Faith had so clearly been made happy and touched by the effort that Buffy had quickly been able to let down her guard and just concentrate on having a good time.

Buffy's soft smile widened as she pictured the look that had been on Faith's face for most of the evening, one that varied between dazed disbelief, a goofy, childlike near joy, and almost awe. It had continued as she saw her cake and had "Happy birthday" sung to her, opened her gifts from everyone, and even when Xander turned on music to get everyone dancing- as much as could be accomplished given the lack of space.

That, in Buffy's opinion, had almost been the best part about the entire night. Sure, feet had been stepped on, elbows knocked and drinks and chip bowls knocked onto the floor…but everyone, even Giles- which had been quite an amusing sight all on its own- had been dancing and enjoying themselves.

Giles, in fact, had danced with all the females, even Faith and Dawn, and when it came to anything but free style, he was actually rather skilled. Xander had danced with Faith, the birthday girl, as well, and though Anya clearly had been holding her jealousy back with difficulty, allowed it without simmering too much. She even managed to keep her cool when he danced one song with Dawn, who was left with a silly grin afterward that Buffy was thrilled to see. Of course, for the next few songs Anya couldn't be pried away from Xander and seemed to be trying to dance much more provocatively than usual, as if reminding him of exactly why it was he had chosen her rather than another girl.

One of the last songs they had danced to had happened to be a slow dance, and all the couples had danced together at once. Buffy and Faith, Willow and Tara, Xander and Anya, and Giles had danced in a fatherly fashion with Dawn, as they were the two left over. With Faith's arm around her, her body pressed tightly into hers, Buffy had been moved greatly, if not entirely surprised, when she heard her sniff slightly and felt a single tear soak into her shoulder. She had held her tighter, feeling a lump rise in her own throat…

And after everyone else had gone home and Dawn was in bed, they'd further expressed what they felt for each other with very drawn out, passionate love making. It wasn't as if they had stopped having sex- that was definitely not the case at all- but between their jobs, the stresses they were undergoing, on top of late night slaying, they had not been doing so quite as often or for as long as they once had. But that night had been amazing, exactly what they had needed to re-deepen their connection with each other. As Buffy had fallen asleep in Faith's arms, she had been vaguely aware of how content she felt… and how it had been since she last had felt so.

Now at the beach, the almost unreal peace of yesterday had continued, and Buffy only regretted that it would eventually have to come to an end. One of the highlights of the day, visually, at least, had been watching Faith move around in the black bikini Buffy had got her as one of her birthday presents. It fit her just right, as Xander's unwilling drifting eyes, to Buffy's and Faith's amusement and Anya's displeasure, as a thinner, smaller-chested, and very jealous woman, had noticed. Buffy was rather thrilled with her selection herself…

As if cluing in that Buffy was thinking about her, a warm, dripping wet body sat suddenly and heavily beside her partly on the towel, partly on the sand, slightly breathless. Buffy smiled before Faith even spoke, feeling cold ocean water drip from the ends of her hair to her own sun-warmed back and not minding it at all.

"Hey, B…"

Buffy rolled over onto her back slowly, then sat up, giving Faith a lazy smile as she stretched her arms before her. She knew Faith's eyes were immediately being drawn to her chest and grinned.

"Hey sweetie…you having fun? I thought you were torturing Xander out there."

Faith grinned. "Yeah, I was, but Carrots got all jealous and came to claim him…so now I've come back to claim you."

She looped her arm around Buffy's back, pulling her into her for a deep kiss as her other hand went to cradle the side of the blonde's face. Buffy kissed her back, feeling her breath catch, allowing her mostly-bare body to meld its warm, dry limbs with Faith's cool damp ones.

When they finally pulled away the smiled into each other's eyes, understanding without words what the other was thinking, before kissing again. A couple of minutes later, slightly out of breath, they finally pulled apart, and Buffy lay down on her back on the towel, tugging at Faith's hand for her to join her. Faith did immediately, snuggling her shoulders under Buffy's arm and pressing herself comfortably into her side. Buffy smiled to herself. It still amazed her somewhat that either she had somehow managed to turn Faith into an affectionate snuggler, or else Faith had secretly been one or wanted to be one all along. Somehow she suspected that the latter was the truth.

Buffy began to play with the brunette's hair idly, combing her hand through its damp sandy tangles in a half-hearted effort to tame it, but also simply because she enjoyed touching it. "I'm glad you like this," she said softly, and both of them knew that she was referring to more than just the beach. It was a little while before Faith spoke.

"Yeah…I do," she softly, and she moved even closer against Buffy, her arm slipping under Buffy's body to encircle her waist. Faith sighed slowly, but it wasn't a bad sigh…her cheek turned into Buffy's side, as Buffy continued to caress her hair, she was silent for a few moments before continuing in that same soft tone.

"B…this was the best birthday I've ever had," she said seriously. "Two of the best days I've ever had…no one ever did anything like that for me before. I mean, it's the only real birthday I ever had…but even if it wasn't, it would still be best. So…so thank you…and not to sound all stupid after all this or something…but I love you."

Buffy swallowed, her throat tightening as tears came to her eyes. Glad for Faith's gratitude, moved by her words and sincerity, she tightened her arm around her shoulder, leaning her head forward to kiss first her cheek, then her lips softly.

"I love you too," she almost whispered, and she leaned her head against Faith's; only hoping that the other girl would never forget or doubt how much. "So much…"

They kissed again, more deeply this time, starting to roll towards each other in a manner that was unwittingly imitating Xander and Anya in the water and Willow and Tara several feet away under their umbrella. For several moments they were lost to everything else until they heard Dawn's voice, much closer to them than they had remembered.

"Oh my god…everywhere I look, it's an orgy…all the nudity really isn't helping here!"

Buffy felt Faith snicker into her mouth, and Buffy grinned too. Pulling her face away from her slightly, but still keeping Faith close against her in her arms, she looked over toward her sister.

"Maybe you should take a nap," she hinted. "Or a walk."

"Yeah, Dusk," Faith smiled, "go find yourself a guy to play with so you can keep up with all the rest of us. You've got a bikini on- what do you think it exists for? Go use it."

"Faith!" Buffy hissed, pulling away a little more to look at her with wide, indignant eyes. "Don't tell her that! She's fourteen!"

"Exactly," Faith grinned, giving Dawn a conspiratorial look that Dawn returned with a mischievous gleam in her eyes. "About time you got started, Dusk…"

"Faith!" Buffy said dangerously, and Faith's grin widened; she knew how Buffy felt about her little sister and anything approaching sexuality, but she couldn't resist jabbing at her.

"Okay, okay…here, come sit with us then, Dusk, since B here won't let you go have any fun. Gotta keep an eye on you…"

Her tone was teasing, but Dawn knew the invitation was genuine. Smiling a little, she got up, moving her towel closer to them, and though still half in Buffy's arms, Faith looped a casual but affectionate arm around Dawn as well, including her.

"Well, maybe B won't let you chase after any guys, but looking can't hurt, can it?"

The three girls sat in easy quiet for several minutes, still touching more easily and affectionately as a trio than had felt natural for some time. Buffy could feel how relaxed of both of them were in body and mood both, and it made her feel lighter both physically and emotionally, as if something that had burdened her had been let go of…

A few minutes went by before Dawn spoke seriously, looking from one girl to the other with slightly darkened blue eyes.

"This has been fun…I kinda thought it would, you know…be hard. Like we're just trying to have fun…you know? I thought it would feel wrong…that I would feel wrong, for wanting to have fun..but…it really doesn't. I mean…I feel like I should feel wrong for this..but I don't, too. Like…I think…I think Mom would be happy," she said softly, and though there was some pain in her voice, her expression, it was not what was prevalent. Instead was a thoughtfulness that would have seemed overly mature for most girls Dawn's age…but then, Dawn was not most girls.

Buffy swallowed again, once more feeling her chest tighten, and she blinked, but Dawn wasn't done yet. Leaning into Faith's arm, she looked between them almost apprehensively, as if she couldn't quite decide if she should go on, how they might react to her.

"So…I guess I'm trying to say thanks…for, you know, everything. And for trying. To keep us going…and for doing this…you guys deserve this for a day."

Seemingly finished now, and seeming a little embarrassed and uncertain about her words, Dawn ducked her head, then hugged Faith impulsively. Faith hugged her back, and Buffy saw from the glimpse of her face she caught before it was out of her sight that Faith felt as touched as she did.

"Thanks, Dusk," she said quietly, her voice slightly huskier than usual. Buffy moved to hug them both so that they were all overlapping in a three-way embrace, their almost entirely bare bodies comfortably against each other. They held their positions for several moments, and Dawn didn't seem to mind being squashed between their strong grips. If anything she seemed to be relishing it.

Finally Faith started to disentangle herself; she still had her limits for such extreme closeness at times, though not nearly as much with Buffy or Dawn as with anyone else, and she had apparently reached her limit. She did give Dawn a quick kiss on her cheek and Buffy one on her lips before standing, giving the girls both an impish grin.

"Come on, you two have been laying here all day…get up off your butts and let's have some REAL fun now!"

Grabbing each by their hands, she pulled them to their feet, only seeming happier by their half-hearted protests. Pinching Dawn's side so she squealed, she grabbed Buffy and slung her fireman style over her shoulder, grabbing Dawn and holding her upside down around her waist in her other arm. As she started to run toward the ocean, fully intending to dump them in, the girls screamed and squealed, squirming and hitting at her, but they were also laughing, their hearts full.


	24. Chapter 24

Bonded

Chapter 24

"So, so like I said, Tara and I have been thinking about Glory and Ben, and the key," Willow started again, being careful not to look at Dawn. "Doing research, well, as much as we can anyway, given the lack of information… and, and I thought of something we could maybe do. Maybe we could make Glory switch hosts…"

Everyone looked over at her sharply; not quite sure that they had heard what they thought they had. Even Faith stopped in her restless pacing before the counters to look at her, listening intently and with more than a little surprise.

It was afternoon of Christmas Eve, and all of them had gathered to meet in the Magic Box. They had decided shortly after Faith's birthday to hold regular brief meetings, knowing that they needed to decide what it was that their next move would be. Glory was still out there, and they knew they needed to come up with a way to defeat her, to protect themselves- and especially Dawn- against her.

Tara and Willow had been researching, and the meeting had began with their beginning to recount what they had found out, or thought they might have found out. Which, as it sounded like from Willow's opening statement, was something, for once…

"Switching hosts?" Buffy asked, frowning slightly as she looked between the two witches intently. "What, you mean you think you can make her take someone else instead of Ben to use as her host?"

"Like switching a brand of batteries," Xander remarked with a little grin. "Only some of the off brand kinds really don't have a good warranty-"

"Switching hosts?" Giles repeated, blinking, and a hand drifted to touch his face, his eyes narrowing thoughtfully behind his glasses. "I never thought of that… of course, there is the matter of how we would do that… you came across a spell, I suppose? Does this mean you have found text that refers to Glory? What does it-"

"Well, uh, no, not exactly," Willow backed down a little, glancing at Tara, who was sitting close to her around the front table of the store's interior. Seated in a circle around it with the rest of them, with the exception of the standing Anya hovering over Xander's chair and the pacing Faith, Dawn leaned forward slightly in her chair next to Buffy, her blue eyes widening slightly.

" 'Not exactly?' What do you mean? You found out something, then- something about Glory? Or…or something about me?"

"Well…well, maybe…" Willow started, her mouth tipping slightly as some doubt came into her eyes, and Tara reached to touch Dawn's shoulder, her features pulling into a look of soft concern.

"We…we m-might have, Dawnie, maybe…it was in a-another language, it was not completely c-clear, but if we're right, maybe it was. But if not, we were th-thinking, this host switching thing…"

"Yeah, just what exactly do you mean by that?" Faith interrupted, stopping her restless movement briefly to turn and look between the redhead and her girlfriend, frowning deeply. "If you didn't find anything about Glory, then who's this spell SUPPOSED to be for? How do you know it will work?"

"Well… it's actually kind of more like an, an exorcism," Willow said reluctantly, her voice getting slower as she looked around quickly at everyone, trying to describe it. "I figured… if it gets a demon out of a person… wouldn't it work for a god too, maybe?"

"But what's the point of getting Glory out of Ben?" Buffy pointed out. "We can't BEAT her when she's out of him…"

"That's where the switching would come in," Willow replied quickly. "We, then we would- see, first we beat her down to the point where she needs to go back into Ben and feed on his life force- "

"If she doesn't throw us all through walls before it gets to that point," Faith muttered, resuming her pacing as she scowled to herself, her features dark and drawn together. Buffy looked over towards her, troubled by her obvious unhappiness; she wanted to stand up and gently stop Faith in her tracks, get her to sit down with her, preferably in her lap. But she knew Faith didn't want that; movement was the way she thought best, the way she bled off stress.

Willow, for her part, glanced over at Faith but tried to ignore her comment, going ahead with what she was trying to get across to them.

"We'd beat her down, and then we'd do the switching spell. Sort of, sort of block her from being able to get into him… or maybe just him keep him away from her, I don't know if she can hop into him from a distance. Then if she couldn't get into him, maybe we could kill her… or maybe we could switch her host, and then we could kill her while she was in the other host…"

"That's…that's actually quite an interesting idea," Giles said slowly, his hands once more drifting up to absently touch his glasses. "There's not saying that it would work, of course… but it's an idea…and every idea is a weapon to add to our artillery, in a manner of speaking. The spell- did it look quite difficult? Were there any ingredients that-"

"Forgetting something," Faith said flatly, and everyone turn to look at her, a little startled. He face was still drawn together, her shoulders hunched forward slightly, and she looked over at Willow with something strangely bright in her eyes, even without the darkness of their color. "Doesn't matter if you switch the host, if she's not using Ben's body to crash in anymore… she's still going to be using someone's body. Whoever you switch it to, we'd still have to kill someone to kill Glory."

"Well…m-maybe not," Tara spoke up slowly, as Willow's face fell slightly, her head lowering in disappointed realization. "M-maybe it doesn't have to be a human… m-maybe we can make her switch to a v-vampire, or something…"

"Nope, can't," Anya piped up somewhat loudly, her voice brisk and decided. "If all I knew was true, and it seems like it all was, then she can only use a human as a host. A LIVE human- not a corpse- like blood-sucking one. Even one with a soul, probably," she said somewhat thoughtfully, her eyebrows drawing together as she considered. "Not sure about that part. I don't' know if having a soul would matter or not-"

"Ohhh," Willow said in disappointment, face falling even further, and her shoulders slumped. "Right… forgot…"

"Well, m-maybe if we kept her from b-being able to get to Ben, it m-might… we m-might still could g-get her hurt," Tara said hopefully, her eyes anxiously moving from the dejected Willow to the still almost breathless Dawn to the pacing, angry-seeming Faith, skimming past the others as well. "And m-maybe it won't matter anyway, if we interpreted that p-passage right…"

"What? What do you mean?" Buffy asked quickly, her opening slightly wider as she straightened in her seat, looking at Tara with keen interest, almost hope in her eyes. "You read something about the key?"

"Well- we think so. It s-seemed like it, if, if we read it right," Tara stuttered, seeming somewhat discomfited to suddenly have all this attention focused on her. Willow picked up her slack, trying to explain with both eagerness and anxiety in her expression.

"We, we didn't find out anything about Glory, at least, not directly… but we found some references to the key, or at least what we think meant the key. It referred to 'the passageway between worlds' and based on other descriptions too, it sounded like it was…"

Willow was being very careful not to look at Dawn, even though there were no others around other than their group of eight, all who of course already knew of the girl's true identity. Her deliberate non-eye-contact with her was probably done out of an effort to be tactful and considerate, but it only managed to draw more attention to Dawn's presence than if she had simply included her when she looked to each of the others in the room. Tara seemed to notice this and gave Dawn a slightly weak smile meant to be reassuring. Dawn did not smile back.

Her face was taut with something between dread and anticipation as she waited for Willow's explanation. Willow took another breath, frowning slightly; she seemed to be trying to recall exactly what it had said even as she withdrew her notes from her jeans pocket, reading over them quickly even as she spoke aloud.

"It seems from what we read- and Giles, you can look it over too, here's where I copied it down- that the key can only be used once, or attempted to be used once. Afterward its function as a key is made moot, and it becomes entirely and solely whatever shape or form it displays."

None of them could keep from glancing at Dawn with surprise at that; Dawn's features stilled, and her eyes went to meet first Tara's, then Willow's, her brow furrowing as she tried to take in what she had just had told.

"You mean… are you trying to say… if I- I mean, the key- gets used… then… the key… will be real? Not a key…but REAL?"

"We th-think so, sweetie," Tara said softly, and a slow awed smile broke over Dawn's features.

Faith, however, was not quite so happy; she turned to look at the girls with incredulity, her scowl not shifting.

"We don't WANT the key to be used, though! Who cares if it does that?! I mean, no offense, Dusk… but, the key… it's used to open up orbs…and you do that and say hasta la vista to the universe as we know it."

"We know, Faith," Willow replied, seeming slightly annoyed by the brunette's tone, "we weren't finished yet."

"Well, then what are you waiting for?" Anya piped up somewhat snappily; her face was drawn just as tensely as Faith's, though she was holding still, one hand possessively on Xander's shoulder. "Tell us already, stop trying to drag it out. I do not appreciate theatrics if you don't even get in costume and make a profit by selling refreshments!"

Willow and a couple of the others to stare at her before Willow, shaking her head, went on.

"Well, what it seemed to be saying was that the key could only be used and work, like, like as its purpose fulfills it, on certain days… on a day of sacrifice. And on that day it could only used in the hours between…well-" she paused, and this time she couldn't help but look at Dawn, who looked back at her with more than a little discomfort.

"Between what?" both Faith and Buffy blurted in the same instant, and they looked at each other with some surprise, but minus the amusement it ordinarily would have given them.

"Well," Willow said quietly, without putting the irony in her tone that her words required, "between the hours of dusk and dawn."

No one said anything for a few moments, taking in the meaning of what she had said. It was Xander who finally spoke up to break the group's near reverie.

"Well I don't know about all this 'day of sacrifice' stuff…but if Glory can only use the key at certain days and times… kind of decreases her chances of being able to put it to use, right? I mean- not 'it'- to put, uh, to put-"

"We know what you mean, Xander," Buffy cut him off quickly, as he fumbled for a word that was neither offensive in its implications nor giving anything about the key's identity away. "And yes, we're sticking with 'it', no one is gonna get angry over it."

She looked at Willow and Tara quickly, frowning slightly even as her mind began to spin with new ideas, feeding off the new possibilities she'd just been given to work."

"You might be right though, Xander… if Glory doesn't know when and how she needs to use the key, then the chances of her being able to not only get to it but also to use it on the right day and right time are significantly smaller…and of course with us knowing, protecting it-"

"Oh, Glory knows how she'll have to use it," Anya interrupted, and she sounded so certain and sure of herself that everyone turned to look at her.

"Ahn, I thought you didn't know Glory," Xander said, frowning up at her. "So how do you know what she does or doesn't know?"

"Okay, she's a GOD, shes going to KNOW what her only focus and mission on earth is for and what she has to do to get it done," Anya said, as if they were extraordinarily slow-minded not to realize this, and they had to admit that her assumption was likely true.

"There- but there's a possibility that she doesn't know- you don't KNOW that she doesn't know," Willow said a little hopefully. "and if she doesn't know, then that's good. If she doesn't-"

"She knows," Anya cut her off, apparently having no patience for any other discussions of anything other than what she saw as the truth. "And even if she didn't, NO that wouldn't be good! Did any of you even LISTEN when I was telling you about how she'd probably try to open the orbs?! Through BLOOD, that's how- through Dawn's BLOOD. If it didn't work right away- if the orbs wouldn't open- then she'd just keep cutting and cutting, making more and more blood come up-"

"Stop it!" Faith shouted suddenly, and Buffy saw that she had stopped in her pacing once more, her face rigid, her dark eyes shadowed, glinting with suppressed anger and fear. She was not looking at Dawn, who sat pale and slightly sick-looking, her blue eyes wide, nor at any of the others who had also sat in stunned horror at Anya's words. The brunette was glaring solely at the ex-vengeance demon, and after a few moments of silence on all parts, she continued, her voice lowered to a hissed whisper.

"Stop it… that's not gonna happen. It's NOT… we're not gonna let it."

"No- no, of course not," Giles said quickly, blinking, and Buffy spoke up as well, putting a comforting hand on one shoulder and stretching her arm to grab Faith's wrist with the other.

"No, we're not…we're going to find out everything we can, and it won't happen. Now, what about this day of sacrifice thing?"

"You mean, what did it say, or what do we think it is?" Willow asked, still looking with some apprehension between the still-tensed Faith and the adamant Anya. "Because it didn't' say much more than I've already said-"

"The sacrifice day thing," Anya clarified, her arms crossing, her tone and the set of her chin still resentful from having been yelled at. "She wants to know what day that is. Obviously you already told us what it SAID…"

"Well, we, we don't know," Tara spoke up somewhat hesitantly, seeming to be wanting to dispel some of the tension everyone was so clearly displaying. "There are many days of d-demon rituals that might involve sacrifices… and we d-don't know if it means like, a live sacrifice… a burnt offering… or s-something else…"

"That is true," Giles said thoughtfully, and he looked over Willow's notes carefully, frowning with concentration. "These do not seem to be specific… the sacrifice it mentions could be referring to a number of occasions or meanings. For instance, does the day already need to be an established sacrificial day, a pagan holiday, perhaps? Or would Glory giving a burnt offering suffice to make it a day of sacrifice?"

"I see what you mean," Buffy said slowly, still holding Dawn's hand and Faith's wrist loosely, absently. Her face was fixed in a thoughtful, troubled look of concentration very similar to Giles's as she went on. "And does it have to be on specific sacrifice day in general, or will any of them be okay? What would Glory think?"

She looked over at Anya quickly. "What are some important demon sacrifice days- when are they? You ought to know all about that…"

"Well, of course, there's New Year's, as you humans refer to it…we refer to it as the day of Neosanguine," Anya replied, an odd glimmer in her eye that was almost as unsettling as the casual way she spoke. Human and fighting on the good side now or not, Buffy sometimes wondered just how easily she would revert to her former powers, her old way of life, if given the opportunity. "Neosanguine means new blood…we take several young healthy humans, and then we-"

"So that's not disturbing or anything at all," Xander cut in hurriedly, obviously not too comfortable with hearing his girlfriend casually describe her former killing 'holidays'. Looking around at the others, he said more flippantly, "Those crazy demons, they really know how to have a good time… guess their sacrifices aren't much like Lent…"

"Lent- that's a good point," Buffy interrupted, not noticing Xander's startled and slightly pleased expression at the entirely unexpected praise. "Technically that's a day of sacrifice too… more like a week or a month or whatever, actually. Would that count- all those days? Would Glory think it counted?"

Anya shrugged. "Well if it opens by blood, that technically IS a sacrifice…so maybe that's all it means. Maybe just Glory killing h- I mean, USING IT- is the sacrifice…so then it could happen any day, just whenever she found it."

Again everyone's head swiveled around to look at her in disbelieving shock at her words; though Buffy was only touching Faith's wrist, she could feel the anger radiating off her, just barely kept under the surface. Glancing at Dawn, she saw that the younger girl's face was still pale and taut; she had not spoken in a while, and Buffy could tell that her thoughts must be running rapid in her head. Buffy couldn't deny that her own mind was crowded with confliction of ideas and feelings, that she simultaneously wanted to shake Anya and also feared her words were true…

"Wow, Ahn… you're just a fountain of comfort today," Xander said finally, the dryness in his voice clear- and yet Anya looked down at him with a frown of confusion.

"Fountain? I most certainly am not a fountain, you can all plainly see that I'm still a girl. If one of you is trying to turn me into a fountain, it's not working, and you better stop it," she said suspiciously, looking at Willow and Tara with slightly narrowed eyes. A general round of frustrated/disgusted individual reactions of eye-rolling, head-shaking, and sighing followed, and Faith finally pulled away from Buffy's hand, stalking slightly away from the others as she began to move herself around once again restlessly.

"Well that can't be right, what Anya said," Buffy said somewhat grittily, glancing towards where Faith had stalked off towards but not trying to stop her from going. "It just isn't- it has to be more specific than that, or it wouldn't even mention a sacrifice at all. It wouldn't be a sacrifice for Glory to- to use the key in that way- so it really wouldn't be a day of sacrifice."

"It would be for me," Dawn said tautly, and the very controlled tone of her voice, the rigidness of her features and hardness of her eyes, made Buffy's stomach tighten. "I think getting all te blood drained out of me definitely counts as a sacrifice for me…"

"That's not gonna happen!" Faith said fiercely, and she quickly crossed the room to join the others once more. Taking Dawn by the shoulders, she looked her directly in the eyes, and the intense passion in her eyes conveyed just how determined she was to believe her own words, for Dawn and everyone else to believe them as well.

"It's not gonna happen, Dusk… we wouldn't let it. I wouldn't let it."

"Of course not," Buffy spoke up, and Xander and Willow chimed in as well, assuring her that this would never happen to her…

But even as she said it, Buffy feared she may not be telling Dawn the truth… what if something did happen and they couldn't stop it, couldn't protect her? Buffy would be failing the world…but almost more importantly, she would be failing her sister.

"Willow, Tara, you said you had pagan sacrifice days researched- and Anya, you know some too," Buffy said determinedly, attempting to get down to business again. "When are they? Is New Year's the closest one?"

"Well, as far as demon days go, yes," Willow replied, and Anya nodded.

"Okay…so New Year's, maybe-"

"Or…maybe not," Faith spoke up suddenly, and the others turned to look at her. She was still standing near Dawn, though she was shifting her weight even while standing. "I mean, this will probably sound stupid, and you're probably right, she'll probably go for some demon dead day…but Christmas is the day after tomorrow. And couldn't that be a sacrifice day, technically? God sending his kid to die and everything?"

Everyone was staring at her now, completely taken aback. Not only at the irony of Faith of all people being the one to bring Jesus into the conversation… but also because her idea was dawning on them as a possibility.

Everyone had been aware of Christmas coming, of course- even though this year's would probably be more hollow and depressing for them than any past one Buffy could remember, she and the others had been unable to stay in the dark about its approach. So why then had the possibility not occurred to them?

Starting to get uncomfortable and self-conscious at their looks and quiet, Faith shrugged quickly, adopting nonchalance.

"Yeah, I know, stupid…I was just thinking…"

"No- no, that's not stupid," Buffy told her quickly, "I just didn't even think of that…"

She sighed, lost for a few moments in her anxiety. The holiday all by itself was enough cause for stress; if she had to worry about it being the day that Glory would try to use Dawn too…

But she was getting ahead of things. She didn't know that this was true… and even if she did, she didn't know that Dawn was the key. For as long as she didn't know, she couldn't use her…

"What we need to concentrate on is defeating Glory. Of course we have to protect the key, and on sacrifice days we should be even more careful…but right now, our main focus should be Glory-"

"You called?" a voice came from the other side of the room, and as the others all jerked their heads up, they were horrified to see the embodiment of their topic of conversation standing across from them.


	25. Chapter 25

Bonded

Chapter 25

Glory grinned, her hands lazily sliding down her sides as she strolled a few steps forward, taking her time. She seemed entirely pleased with herself, with the others' reactions… and yet she showed an aura about her that almost crackled with a purposeful determination and anger. She stopped before the group gathered around the book-laden table, running a hand through her wavy blonde hair in the manner of a high-schooler trying her hand at seduction and being quite sure of its success.

"Tick tock, girls," Glory said smoothly, ignoring Giles and Xander amongst all their female companions- or perhaps she was making a wry jab at them deliberately. "Tick tock…"

She took another slow step forward, smiling sardonically, and every other person in the room stiffened, their faces flashing a wide, varied display of individual responding emotions. Buffy saw from her quick glancing how the little color left in Dawn's face had drained, how her eyes were wide and unblinking with her panic and fear, her breath coming in too-short little bursts. Through her bond with Faith she could feel the other Slayer's heightened emotion, her rapidly rising rage and terror, her desire for vengeance mixed with her instinctive need to protect Dawn and all the others, whether or not at a cost to herself. And of course, Buffy was fully aware of her own feelings as well…which were mostly a slowly spreading cold fear…

Glory shifted her weight slowly, smiling at them all in a way that seemed friendly and genuine on the surface, but upon closer inspection only seemed entirely menacing.

"You'd think by now you'd understand how much easier it would be for you to simply give me what I want… but then, I suppose humans have a pretty poor memory, seeing as how they are so inferior to my greatness. Let me give you a little summary again for your pathetic useless minds to digest… now, I've given you a nice long time to think over the consequences of denying me what I want. And I WANT the KEY. I even gave you a very clear example of what will happen if you deny me again, with one of your breakable humans as an illustration…so I think my point should be quite obvious by now."

She shifted herself again, her hands going to her hips, and her voice rose, growing in anger right along with volume.

"So let's try this again… you girls hand over the key, and maybe I'll let you all escape with your brains still in your head."

Buffy had no idea what to do, how to react… as they had learned before, trying to fight Glory off resulted in more injuries to them than to her by far. Yes, there were eight people present to help…but that just gave her even more people to hurt too. The weapons were closer to Glory than to them- all Buffy had on her now was a stake and a switchblade, both which would be useless against Glory….

And Dawn… Dawn was here, Dawn was right here in front of her… oh god, what if Glory would be able to tell? How had Buffy ever dared to hope that Glory's week or two of absence might be made permanent?

Just then, though, Buffy caught a glimpse of Tara and Willow out the corner of her eye. The two Wiccan girls looked strained and clearly afraid, were gripping each others' hands tightly… but Buffy also saw a glinting in their eyes that looked like mutual understanding and resolve, a plan of some kind. Her heart tightened with wild dawning hope…for now she could see, barely discernibly, that their lips were beginning to move…

They must be doing something, must be casting a spell. How or what it was, Buffy had no idea, nor did she know whether it would work. But just knowing that there was some kind of plan at works made her feel better. They would not- they would NEVER back down against Glory..now, if she could just distract the bitch's attention away from them, let them carry out whatever it was they were trying to do…

"Really, Glory, you ought to try a softer approach…aggression gives you wrinkles," she said sweetly. "Try giving a girl a compliment rather than a death threat once in a while, you might be surprised to know how often it works for you…"

"Yeah Whorey…oops, I mean Glory," Faith chimed in, and she smirked, seeming rather pleased with her new nickname. "As for the brain thing…all those brains you've zapped, where do you put them? You pad your bra with them? Fatten up your ass? 'Cause they definitely don't go up to that hollow little head of yours…"

Glory's face tightened in fury, and she strode over to Faith, slapping her so hard that the girl's head jerked around, and an angry red mark rose up immediately, one that would soon be dark bruising. She seized her by the shoulders in a clearly painful grip, giving her a harsh shake, and she stuck her face so close to Faith's that her spittle sprayed her as she almost hissed at her.

"You push me one more time, little girl, and we'll see whose head is hollow…I only need one person who can give me the key, and right about now, I'm thinking you seem expendable…"

Buffy's heart raced, her pulse quickening in alarm at Glory's words; she had no doubt that the hell god would carry them out if she felt the desire to. Tara and Willow were still mouthing wordlessly, faster now, their eyes narrowed, features tight with concentration. But Glory had her hands on Faith, she was angry at her, she could hurt her easily-

She started to stand hurriedly, meaning to defend her, fight Glory off of her, but Giles seemed to have recovered from his shock enough to take stock of the situation and try his own hand at defusing it. He spoke to Glory with a respectful, slightly awed curiosity that Buffy knew was for Glory's benefit.

"So…so you are Glorificus… I've heard so much about you, but this is the first time I've seen…"

Glory turned her head towards him; she was not releasing Faith or even loosening her hold on her, but her attention was diverted. Both from Faith and from Willow and Tara. Good move, Giles, Buffy thought gratefully as she took Dawn's hand and squeezed it tightly, more to make sure she had a hand on her should Glory suddenly grab her than to reassure the younger girl. Thank you…

"Well at last someone finally seems to show some of the respect I should have coming to me," Glory said tightly, eyeing Giles appraisingly. "If you wish to please me, old man, then you will give me my key!"

"Old? I wouldn't describe myself as old," Giles protested, frowning. Though Buffy knew he was simply distracting Glory, she also knew he was actually somewhat disgruntled too. Buffy's eyes went to the wall where the weapons were, and she glanced at Glory, wondering how much time she had to go for them….or whether it mattered at all if she did.

"Regardless of what the younger generation says, I'm not quite old yet-"

"Are you going to give me my key, or aren't you?" Glory said in a dangerous tone, her eyes narrowing. Though she wasn't looking at Faith, seemed to have almost forgotten her, her hands were still hard on her shoulders, and Buffy could see her gritting her teeth in both pain and frustration at the god's touch.

Buffy's eyes darted over to Willow and Tara, and she could tell that they were still chanting, eyes more focused than ever… they better hurry up with whatever they were doing, they better finish soon, or else-

Giles seemed to be trying to divert Glory's attention away from any mention of the key as well, which might in turn lead to attention toward Dawn… as he spoke, Buffy sat there almost frozen, her heart thudding wildly as she gripped her sister's hand, her eyes once more darting to the weapons in the distance. She didn't know what to do… if she tried to attack Glory, Glory could break Faith's neck without a thought. But if she tried to run with Dawn…how could they possibly get out of the room and away from Glory in time? And what if Glory hurt everyone else when they left? It seemed hopeless…utterly, entirely hopeless.

"Now that I know who you are, it's hard to believe that I did not recognize you for what you were the first time I saw you," Giles said to Glory quickly, trying to catch her eye and make sure they stayed focused on him rather than anyone else. "It was when you bought the Kohl's amulet and Sobekian stone, and I did not think anyone could use them as they were originally meant to be. It is really quite impressive that-"

"I'm not impressed with your flattery, human," Glory interrupted, even though this seemed from her tone and expression to be at least partly untrue.

She still had hold of Faith very tightly, although she seemed to be doing so more in a casual way now, as if she had forgotten she was still touching her. Faith's face was very rigid, and she was still, neither speaking nor moving. Buffy was not quite sure if this was because she couldn't, because she was afraid something would break if she did, or if Faith was merely biding her time, waiting for a chance to break free of her upon a slight weakening.

"Why, I'm not trying to flatter you at all," Giles started, "I'm merely saying-"

"Glorificus…" Anya interrupted, her words slow, breathless, and Buffy and Giles, along with Dawn, turned to look at her, slightly startled. "I've… I've heard so much about you…your highness…I mean…your majesty…excellency…Glorificus…"

She was fumbling for words, her thin face paling, features tightening with obvious fear and anxious panic rather than excitement or reverence that she was clumsily attempting to pass it off as. And yet there was also curiosity in Anya's eyes, fascination… something almost like awe…

Glory turned her head slowly as well to regard her, her brightly lipsticked lips curving up into a smirk. "You've heard of me, have you… and I'm supposed to be astonished when you hang around these pathetic specimen?"

"No- no, not from THEM," Anya clarified, shaking her head hurriedly. "I already knew long before then- it's, it's all over the demonic realms, the tales of your greatness, your, everyone knows of your enormous power-"

"Well, I should hope so," Glory snapped, raising an eyebrow. She seemed entirely distracted from Faith now, but she still was not easing up on her grip of her. Even with her Slayer strength and healing, Buffy knew that her shoulders must be shooting waves of pain, the bones almost cracking under the pressure of Glory's inhumanly strong hands…

"Demon realms, you say? And just who are you?" Glory asked Anya, narrowing her eyes at her suspiciously. "What are YOU doing here with THEM if you're from the demon realms?"

"I'm- I was- Anyanka," Anya said in a rush, and Buffy noticed her hands whitening on Xander's shoulder from her unconsciously tight grip. He flinched slightly, but his eyes were glued to Glory…apparently he too dared not to look in Willow's or Tara's direction, in case Glory's eyes would follow.

"A vengeance demon-well, ex," Anya went on, her words a little too loud, too eager…and too frightened. "But I'm stuck here now-"

"Oh, I feel your pain on that one…no, actually I just feel my own," Glory spat, and her eyes flashed dangerously. "And all the rest of you, you're gonna be feeling it too if you don't GIVE ME MY KEY!"

Her eyes darted about the room wildly as she yelled her last words, briefly stopping on each person… and in the process, also on Willow and Tara, who were almost out of her line of vision in their positioning, but not quite. Her eyes widened suddenly, and as she realized that their hands were joined, their lips still moving barely visibly in what was clearly not a prayer, the rage flooded even more fully over her features.

Oh no, Buffy thought with rising panic in the split second before it all started happening, oh shit… oh god…

The irony of her last two words thought were never to be appreciated by anyone, even herself, for no sooner had they entered her mind then everything fell apart. Glory, glaring fiercely, started to throw Faith away from her…but as if thrown by an odd penetrable force, she was thrust a few inches away from her instead.

For a moment Buffy dared the wild hope in her heart to rise. It seemed like the witches had succeeded, made some sort of block or protection spell. Maybe Glory wouldn't be able to hurt them…maybe they could just escape, and-

But her hopes were quickly dashed when Glory stuck her hands out harshly, reaching for Faith again. For a few seconds she seemed to be struggling against something, her hands blocked, as Faith started to back away. But then she was breaking through it in a burst, whatever invisible barrier had been put up… and seizing hold of Faith once more, she threw her away from her into Buffy's chair, hard enough to almost knock the blonde out of her seat and for Faith to fall onto her backside far from gently. Making her way to Tara and Willow before anyone else could even react, Glory grabbed them both up by their shirt collars, slinging them across the room and into the wall…

Immediately complete chaos broke out. As everyone started to scramble to their feet, each alternately planning to run, go to the girls fallen, attempt to protect themselves or others, or attempt to fight back, Glory turned to regard them almost casually, a savage smile bringing sparkle to her eyes. As clearly infuriated as she was, her eyes almost smoldering with her frustration, she was also clearly enjoying all of this…

"You think your little parlor tricks will harm me?" she sneered, casting a disdainful look at Willow and Tara. The two girls were still crumpled on the floor, battered and shaken, though both were making weak but unsuccessful efforts to right themselves. "I am Glorificus, god of the demonic sixth realm! You pathetic little HUMANS don't stand a prayer against me, even if it's me you're praying to! NOW GIVE ME MY KEY!"

At those last shrieked words, Glory rushed the few steps it took to reach Faith again, who had been making her way to stand closer to Dawn, planning to grab her and drag her to the weapons. Seizing her this time by her upper arms, Glory shook her so roughly that Faith's teeth rattled hard against each other, and her head snapped back and forth so violently that Buffy was afraid her neck would snap.

"GIVE ME MY KEY!" Glory screamed into Faith's face, her eyes wide and wild as she continued to shake her, fingers digging so hard into her that Buffy nearly felt the pain of it on her own flesh. "Give it to me! Give-"

Buffy leapt out at her with instinctive fury and panic, no plan in mind other than to extract Faith from Glory's grip. Leaping onto Glory's back, she locked one arm around her neck in a stranglehold as with the other hand she pulled her hair as hard as she could, hoping to pull out an entire fistful by the roots. Her next plan, after loosening Glory's grip a little, was to stick her index finger deep into her eye socket…

But unfortunately, Xander had also chosen that moment to attempt a heroic, if entirely useless, rescue maneuver. Jumping to his feet and running to join them, he began to foolishly pull at Glory's hands on Faith with fingers much less powerful and coordinated than hers, shouting for her to let go.

With one hard knocking of her arm across his chest, Xander hit the ground solidly, the breath knocked out of him. As he lay there, struggling for breath and control of his limbs even more painfully than Willow or Tara across the room, Glory threw Buffy off her back with a loud snarl of anger, sending the blonde dropping to the floor as well. However, to do so, she had to let go of Faith, which gave her the opportunity to back away temporarily, seeming slightly unsteady on her feet, dizzy and perhaps a little nauseous from the excessive shaking.

Glory turned to face Buffy quickly, no doubt expecting to be challenged, and Buffy didn't disappoint her. Hastily getting to her feet, she cracked Glory over the head with her chair…only to watch with a sickening sense of horror when the chair broke without seeming to affect her at all. Glory just smiled, a smile that showed much more menace than pleasure, as everyone, whether on their feet or not, gawked…

"Better find a stronger weapon, Slayer," she quipped, arching a perfectly shaped eyebrow. "Something tells me-"

"How about this one?" came Faith's low, fierce voice, and suddenly she was beside Glory, a huge, serrated knife in her hand. Without warning she plunged it deep into the woman god's stomach, the blade sinking into her flesh…

As everyone halted in their movements, watching closely, they scarcely dared to hope. But yes, Glory's face was changing…she was showing something different, showing…could it be possible that it had really hurt her, that they could really-

But for…for the temporary change in Glory's expression was not agony, btu annoyance, not disbelief, but indignation… and as they all watched with sick, horrible despair swirling in their chests, compressing their throats, she yanked it out in one swift movement, scowling heavily, but showing not so much as a drop of blood for Faith's effort.

"You put a HOLE in my dress!" Glory screeched indignantly. "You are SO gonna pay for that!"

Tossing the knife towards Faith with such speed that Faith only barely managed to jump out of the way in time, Glory lunged at her, seizing her arm yanking forcefully. She pulled her so hard that she dislocated Faith's shoulder…so badly that it was hanging loosely from her shoulder socket, almost dislodged from remaining a part of her body at all. Faith screamed involuntarily, a shrill noise that made Buffy's heart skip a beat…

Glory punched Faith hard into the face, sending blood spurting and her body falling back to the floor. As Faith screamed again when her bad shoulder hit, her face contorting with her pain and wild adrenalized rage and fear, everyone else reacted all at once.

Xander was still not quite able to stand, but was trying to, his breath coming in sharp bursts; though he did not say so, he was afraid he had cracked a rib. Giles had Dawn by the shoulders and was pulling her across the room towards the door, clearly trying to remove her from harm's way, and hopefully Glory's notice. Anya was standing paralyzed, watching it all with wide, terrified eyes… and across the room, Willow and Tara, though still lying on the floor, pretending too much weakness to be able to stand, were holding hands, silently mouthing words to a spell once more…

Buffy screamed Faith's name, and for a few milliseconds was torn between kneeling to take care of her and attacking Glory. Vengeance won out, and she lunged for the sword hanging on the wall behind them, intending to try it out…

But Glory was striding towards Giles now…snatching him away from Dawn where they stood, only a few feet away from the door, she threw him across the room as well; when he hit his head against the wall, Giles was promptly knocked unconscious. She was reaching for Dawn when suddenly Willow and Tara caught her eye from their prone position on the floor, and she turned to them abruptly, eyes flashing maliciously.

"What did I tell you about your stupid magic act?"

It seemed hardly a full second before she was before them again. Reaching out into what seemed only empty air before them, she made a grabbing motion and twisted her hands sharply…and suddenly the girls were screaming in the same anguished way that Faith had, writhing. It was as if she had somehow managed to turn their own power against them.

Her heart hammering wildly, her flesh heated with fury, Buffy rushed at Glory, swinging her sword in an arc meant to cut off Glory's head. But Glory snatched her hand in midair, stopping her swing… and with one squeeze, crushed the bones of Buffy's hand.

It took a few moments before Buffy felt anything at all… perhaps it was shock, for as she looked down at her mangled hand, she could not reconcile herself to the knowledge that it was hers, that it belonged to her body. And then the pain kicked in with a sharp spiking intensity, until Buffy could not stop herself from shrieking loudly, blood dripping heavily between Glory's fingers. Her eyes bulged with her stunned agony, and she could not move, could not think of anything for the first few seconds but her hand.

Glory gave her hand one final, very deliberate squeeze, further grinding her bones in on themselves, and then punched her in the face powerfully, in the same area she had Faith. As Buffy crumpled to the floor rapidly, she felt so light-headed, the pain so overwhelming, that her vision blurred…

And Dawn was still standing by the doorway, seeming once more to be paralyzed with terror. Across the room from her Anya seemed to be reflecting her; she stood visibly trembling, her thin face pinched and very pale, and she didn't move, didn't even seem capable of it. Both Buffy and Faith were trying to get to their feet, but with a useless arm for Faith and a useless hand for Buffy, as well as bodies close to succumbing to unconsciousness from pain and blood loss, they were having a hard time being able to support their own weight enough with their less dominant arms to stand. All they could think of beyond the pain was their horrified knowledge that Glory might turn now to Dawn… that Glory might hurt Dawn.

Both were nearly screaming inside their minds for Dawn to run, for Anya to, for them to find somewhere safe to hide until Glory was forced to leave them..but Glory didn't spare either girl so much as a glance. Instead her eyes turned to Xander, who was just beginning once more to struggle to his feet, eyes darting about frantically for some kind of weapon.

Xander hadn't even entirely righted himself before Glory was upon him, stopping any attempts to do anything he may have made before he had ever even started. Snatching him up roughly and pulling him against her in a hold that looked on the verge of breaking his ribs, or possibly snapping him in half- she leered out at the others triumphantly as Xander's eyes widened…

"Maybe I'll just take this one with me…he's kinda cute," she said with exaggerated consideration, and she stroked his cheek with barely reigned in aggression. "He might even be the key… are you my key, little boy? Are you-"

"No!" Anya blurted out in a loud, frantic exclamation, her eyes bulging slightly, panic increasing in her posture and expression rapidly. "No, you can't take him! Don't take him- he's not the key! He's-"

"ANYA!" cried both Buffy and Faith, one girl's voice a frantic plea, the other's a near infuriated scream. Both were getting to their feet now with the most agility they could, grinding their teeth against the pain as their eyes darted between Xander being held immobile by a clearly pissed Glory, the still-unmoving Dawn and Anya… they didn't know who to go to, what they could be able to possibly do. And now Anya was panicking, Glory had Xander… there was no telling what might happen, what either might do…

"Glory, let him go," Buffy commanded, trying to sound strong, imposing, and sure, but she could hear the involuntary shaking in her tone, mirroring the shaking taking over her body. Her head was still spinning, and she fought hard against the temptation, to simplify let herself fall back to the floor. From Faith's slightly labored breaths behind her and her continued lack of an attempt to yet move any further, Buffy suspected she must be feeling similarly.

"You think I, a GOD, will listen to a SLAYER, when you don't even so much as say please?" Glory sneered. "No, I don't think so, little girl…"

Suddenly her arm was unwound from Xander's chest, and both hands were gripping his head, holding it in a way that froze all still conscious and able to see… especially the Slayers and Dawn. For Glory was holding Xander's head in exactly the way she had held Joyce's, just before snapping her neck.

"No, I have an order for YOU," Glory spat, and her fingers tightened against Xander's skull. "You tell me where my key is…you hand it over to me right now…or I'll snap his neck like a twig."

There was no time for horror, no time for desperate moves to attack her or rushed attempts to reason with her. Buffy and Faith had no time to react at all- for Anya's reaction was so immediate that no one could have stood a chance. Her eyes bulging so that they looked entirely out of proportion to her small, white face, she began to scream in horrified frantic tones, eaer to stop Glory's actions before they started.

"NO! NO, don't' hurt him! It's not him you want- it's not Xander, you don't want Xander! It's her! You want her! SHE'S the key, SHE'S the one you want- don't hurt Xander!"

And she pointed at Dawn in a jabbing motion, her hand shaking badly…and despite the near hysteria in her tone, it was obvious that she was sincere.

For several moments Buffy couldn't move…she could only stare at her sister's ashen expression, the sudden delighted gleam in Glory's eyes, and know with a sinking despair what was about to happen. There was no room for hatred, for fury over what Anya had done… only a slowly dawning helpless grief…

"Is that right?" Glory said slowly, musingly, and her lips curled up, her smile growing until she was full out grinning. "I never would have thought…"

And then she had slipped quickly to Dawn's side, had hold of her slender form with a firmness yet gentleness she had showed no other. The look on her face was neither awe nor relief, but rather a savage triumph.

"So this is it… mine at last…MINE…thanks!"

It didn't matter that Faith was screaming now, calling Anya a liar, that she was lunging at Glory with murder in her eyes mingled with her desperate realization of their failure. It didn't matter that Giles was regaining consciousness, as were Tara and Willow, that Xander was once again trying to get to his feet. It didn't matter that Buffy couldn't make herself move, that Anya's relief at Xander's release was overshadowed by the guilt and horror spreading across her features.

None of this mattered… because before any of them could reach her, do anything to stop her, Glory had disappeared…and she had taken Dawn with her.


	26. Chapter 26

Bonded

Chapter 26

Author notes: Probably no one would have noticed this but me, but in the past two chapters I made huge timing mistakes…I said that it was the evening of December 23. I was thinking this would give the group 17 hours approximately until the dawning of Christmas…turns out I suck at math and it is actually 29. So that is a problem…as a result I am going back and changing all the facts that were wrong about this. Just know that I am now making it that they are in the Magic Box about afternoon of Christmas Eve to fix the timing issues of how I want this to go, lol. If you feel you need to you can go back and read how I reworked the timing.

The moment Dawn was gone, disappeared from Buffy's sight, from any potential reaching and reclaiming, Buffy felt her body sway, suddenly barely possessing enough strength and muscle coordination to continue standing. All the blood rushed to her head, roaring in her ears, and the only thoughts slowly making their way through her rapidly blanking mind was how close she was to fainting. She was almost entirely unaware of everything going on around her… no words, no courses of action came to her mind other than her efforts to remain standing and conscious.

Across the table Anya was standing, still pale and stricken from what had happened, what she had done… of course she had not truly intended to say what she had said, to betray them all in her words. It had been a knee-jerk reaction bred of panic and fear rather than true malice toward Dawn or allegiance with Glory, and now the guilt and horror in her expression was clear as Xander began to yell at her. Xander, who she had been so desperate to protect. Willow, Tara, and Giles had all struggled to their feet as well and were looking around for Glory and Dawn somewhat wildly, trying to figure out where they were, what had just happened.

"Where are they?" Giles asked, and Buffy heard him only faintly, as if from quite a distance. "Glory and Dawn- they were just here- they just-"

"They… I th-think she took her," Tara stuttered, and her dark blue eyes were wide with her increasing anxiety as they continued to flit about the room hurriedly, taking in not only Glory's and Dawn's absence, but also the room's ramshackled appearance, the injuries each person displayed that varied in degree of seriousness. "G-Glory, I mean… she t-took Dawn…"

"Yes, that's EXACTLY what she did!" Xander almost yelled, and he glared at Anya aggressively again, with more anger than they had ever seen him direct at any of them before… an anger so intense it almost cracked and gave way to despair. "How could you DO that, Anya- how the HELL could you do that?!"

"I'm sorry!" Anya cried, her voice high and tight with fear and shame, and she tried to meet Xander's eyes, only shrinking further when he didn't back down from his glare. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. I didn't-"

But it was Faith who sprang into the most direct, impulsive action. Snatching up a large, rather heavy-looking sword from the wall with her good arm, she ran out the door without so much as a glance at the others, continuing through the front room of the Magic Box and then out into the street. Buffy did not follow her, probably couldn't have had she tried… and so only a small part of her was aware of Giles following Faith somewhat steadily, of Faith running down the sidewalk with her injured arm hanging and pulling further as she ran. She was screaming Glory's, ignoring the agony her movements must have been causing her.

"GLORY!!!! GLORY, GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE!!!! I'M GONNA KILL YOU, I'M GONNA FUCKIN' KILL YOU! I'M GONNA FIND YOU, RIGHT NOW, YOU COWARDLY BITCH… I'M GONNA FUCKIN' KILL YOU, GLORY-"

Her words were raw and infuriated, violent, even as her half run slowed to a paired jog as the hurt from her arm, ribs, and the cuts on her face and forearms began to catch up to her. She was still bleeding pretty badly, no doubt felt almost as physically unsteady as Buffy, and yet she continued to make her way down the street, screaming for Glory to return.

Giles stepped out of the Magic Box's doorway, then into the street, watching her. Inside everyone had gone still, almost numb, waiting to see what would happen. Even Xander had ceased his yelling and was watching Giles.

"Faith," the former Watcher said softly, when she paused to take a gulping breath. "Faith, please come back."

Faith did not turn around; she continued down the sidewalk, considerably slower now, her eyes darting about as she moved her head desperately, trying to catch sight of those she was looking for.

"I can't…I've gotta find her, I've gotta KILL her- I've gotta-"

"She's not here, Faith," Giles said in the same soft but firm voice, and he began to follow her, walking not quite as fast as she was, but more smoothly. "You can't help Dawn right now- not when you're injured-"

"I've GOT to find her, I've GOT to help her!" Faith almost screamed, pounding her good arm into her thigh in frustration. "I can't let her go- I can't let her have her! She's fuckin' TOOK her, she's gonna fuckin' HURT, she NEEDS me-"

"I realize that," Giles told her tightly, and he was right behind her now, keeping up with her with some difficulty. "And we're going to help her, Faith… we're going to get her back. But right now she needs you to come back in with us and let us help you. You can't help her with your arm like that."

Faith paused, taking in his words and exhaling harshly before nodding, tears coming to her already anguished eyes.

"I let her GO, Giles…I let Glory TAKE her! I promised her, I swore Glory would never get her, and I let her take her…"

"Not just you, Faith," Giles replied quietly, and the bitterness was obvious in his tone now, the self-condemnation and anger. "Not just you…"

He put a hand between her shoulder blades gently and began to walk her back to the others in the store as Faith's head lowered, as pain returned intensely in the physical as well as emotional sense. When they reached the Magic Box, Buffy had still not moved, not spoken. Willow had gone to Buffy and had very gently lifted her broken hand to examine it other than a flinch, Buffy had not reacted to her touch. Concerned, Willow had frowned, calling Tara over too…

Everyone looked up when Giles and Faith returned, looking almost hopeful, as if they half-expected- or wished, at any rate- that she had managed to chase Glory down and return with Dawn. There was no time for much disappointment though, for within ten seconds Faith had pulled away from Giles and launched herself at Anya, useless arm and all.

The only thing Anya had going in her favor at that moment, probably what ultimately prevented her from having her life taken from her in the first two seconds, was that Giles had taken the sword from Faith's hand when he walked her back to the Magic Box. Regardless, weaponless, one-handed, and still bleeding, Faith's fury and adrenalized, anguished emotions were more than enough to drive her in her attack.

With one hand she grabbed Anya by a thin, bony wrist and slung her to the ground forcefully enough that Anya's eyes grew huge with her shock, pain, and fear, and the breath was knocked out of her. Faith didn't give her time to regain it. She fell immediately to her knees beside her and began to hit her in as rough and frenzied manner as she could with one non-dominant hand. Seizing her by her shirt collar, Faith shook her in an unconscious mirroring of how Glory had shaken her, and Anya's head hit the floor hard with each shaking, her breath coming in gasping, terrified spurts.

"YOU KILLED HER!!! YOU KILLED HER, YOU KILLED DAWN!!! YOU BITCH, YOU FUCKIN' BITCH, I'M GONNA FUCKIN' KILL YOU, FUCKIN' KILL YOU!!! YOU BITCH-"

She was slamming Anya's head into the floor, having hold of her hair in her left hand as Anya's teeth clicked together, her eyes unblinking, glinting with desperate fear. The ex-demon seemed unable to make a sound of protest or fear. When Faith released Anya's hair suddenly, letting her head hit the floor harshly once more, she began to beat her again, straddling Anya's legs now as she hit her in the face, the eyes, nose, chest, and ribs, her rage transmitted strongly into each blow. With every hit more blood emerged- and every second or third hit, bones could be heard cracking…

Xander and Giles rushed over almost right away, recognizing the wild, murderous intent in Faith's words and face, not to mention her actions. But she had gotten in many hits before they ever even started to interfere, and by the time they reached her, started to attempt to lay hands on her furiously flailing arm and other parts of her while still avoiding her bad shoulder, she was too worked up to be able to listen to any reasoning. As they called out to her loudly, trying to get her attention, Faith seemed unhearing, unaware of anything other than hands trying to stop her…

She took her attention off Anya for a few moments to lash out at them, screaming, kicking, swearing, hitting at them almost as wildly and violently as she had Anya. They could not get a good hold on her, could not seem to contain her, and were receiving more and worse blows than they had expected considering she was only using one arm and her legs. The only thing that seemed to be working in their favor was that they were distracting her from finishing off Anya.

Tara and Willow stood unmoving by Buffy, gawking, their hands still loosely holding Buffy's crushed one, having forgotten about examining it. Willow was crying silently, and Tara's eyes were deeply shadowed.

But Buffy, silent and hollow as she had been, was slowly returning to herself…very gradually she was focusing on what she had once been staring at blankly, understanding, if not emotion, kicking in. As she began to think about what was happening, she realized what she needed to do.

Pulling away from Willow's and Tara's hands and only vaguely aware of their startled looks, Buffy started toward where Xander and Giles were still struggling- and losing- against Faith, who was still straddling a now barely conscious Anya. Another good hit or two and she'd hurt one of them badly, even knock them unconscious.

Reaching her side, Buffy snatched Faith's good wrist mid swing, squeezing it tightly enough to cause her some pain as she tried to meet her eyes. Not an easy task when Faith's hair was in her face and she was jerking around like a struggling kidnap victim…

"Faith, stop it," she called out loudly, and was surprised how steady and firm her voice sounded, even as she continued to feel a degree of blankness and disassociation inside. "That's enough."

Faith yanked her wrist violently from Buffy's grasp, punching her in the cheekbone- a blow that snapped Buffy's head around, sent pain spreading hotly through her as the cut already present there re-opened. Okay, clearly this approach wasn't going to work, just like Xander's and Giles's…

Gritting her teeth, hating this even before she did it, Buffy took firm hold of Faith's injured arm, at the elbow and just below the armpit, and pulled, rendering it even more fully and entirely detached from her shoulder socket. It had the desired effect, however. Faith shrieked, her dark eyes popping, features twisting, and her left hand flew to hold what remained of her shoulder, uselessly trying to single-handedly put it back together instinctively. She started to shake, and Buffy wasn't sure if it was from the pain, her emotional overdrive, or a combination. Either way, her stomach twisted sharply, and a bitterness rose in her mouth.

"I'm sorry, Faith," Buffy told her softly but levelly as she tried to meet Faith's eyes, to make sure she was listening to her through her ragged breaths. "I didn't want to do it, but I had to. You have to stop this… you can't do this. I know how you feel, but you can't do this."

"She betrayed her," Faith ground out, and it sounded like she was intending this to be a defiant scream. But it was almost quiet, her words shaky, almost pleading… and even with her hair in her face Buffy could see the tears standing dangerously in her eyes. "She betrayed her… she gave her to Glory, Glory has her now…"

"I know," Buffy replied softly, and her stomach knotted further, her heart beginning to pound at the look on Faith's face, the way she cradled her shoulder. And god, did she know… Faith was right. Dawn was gone, they had let her be taken away…and Anya had caused it, Anya had fuckin' told Glory everything…

"I know, baby," Buffy said again, and her own voice shook now as she reached to stroke Faith's hair back from her face, tucking it behind her ear. "I know…but you can't kill her. You can't be that again… and I know you don't want to. Let her go…please let her go."

The room was almost entirely silent now, the only sounds the harsh noise of everyone's breathing. Faith was still trembling, glancing between Anya's bleeding, motionless form beneath her, and Buffy's pleading face. Everyone was watching her, waiting… Buffy could barely feel the throbbing of her face, the constant sharp pain in her hand, as she kept her intact hand gently against the side of Faith's battered face, waiting along with all the rest of them for her response.

Faith was still breathing heavily, her body shuddering in such a manner that it was hard for Buffy to look at her, to continue to simply touch her face without yet attempting any more extensive efforts at soothing her. For several moments Faith didn't say anything, made no response at all, and Buffy was certain she was going to pull away again.

But then her features slowly crumpled, almost collapsing in on themselves, and she began to cry. Still straddling Anya's still, gasping form, her uninjured shoulder slumped, an odd contrast to the one hanging limply from her shoulder socket. Her left hand went to tightly grip her knee, and she began to sob with harsh, breaking sounds that rattled through her torso. Watching her, Buffy's heart broke. She could feel her own thought and emotions slam back into her even more fully than before, and tears began to make their way down her own cheeks.

With her good arm and hand Buffy reached to wrap an arm around Faith's waist, giving her a tight one-armed hug before pulling her close against her, into her lap. She was careful to avoid Faith's bad shoulder and moving her own broken hand as she held her to her the best that she could, her face lowering into Faith's hair.

She was unaware of the others carefully crowding around Anya, examining her and beginning to tend to what could be tended to while wisely giving the Slayers a few minutes alone. All Buffy could think of was that Dawn was gone…despite all their promises and attempts to protect her, all her plans, Dawn had been taken from them. And now she hurt so badly, and Faith hurt so badly, and she couldn't even hold her as well as she wanted to be able to…

Faith seemed on the verge of hyperventilating now, her breath short and shallow against Buffy's shoulder, and Buffy tightened her arm around her, whispering her attempts tat comfort in a very unsteady tone. A few more minutes passed before the girls felt gentle hands on both their backs, and Buffy looked up to see that Giles had squatted down beside them, was looking at them both with a hardness and a sorrow for them and the situation in general in his eyes.

"Buffy- Faith," he said softly, "it's… it's not over yet. All is not entirely lost… and we will do everything we can, everything in our power, to get her back again."

Buffy and Faith barely heard him, certainly weren't very comforted by his words. 'Everything in their power' was hardly a promise… all they knew was that Dawn was gone, and they had no idea where to begin looking for her. Even if they could somehow find her, how could they wrestle her away from Glory when every time they saw her she totally kicked their asses? It seemed entirely hopeless…

But Tara was coming to stand beside them too now, her quiet, hesitant attempts at comfort adding to Giles's. She did not try to touch them, nor did she hide the sick sorrow and anxiety in her face, but her words resonated with them regardless.

"Buffy…Faith… G-Glory won't want to h-hurt Dawn, not yet… she has to w-wait until the right t-time. S-so Dawn should be okay now…and we have time. We h-have time… we can st-still find her."

"She's right," Willow said quickly, a near desperate hope in her eyes as she turned toward them, tears still glistening on her cheeks. "The earliest she could try is Christmas… and that's not for, like, another 12 hours. We, we still have 12 hours… we'll find them, we'll get her back. We will."

"Yes, they are correct," Giles said slowly, and there was some dawning realization in his own voice then as he blinked, his hands moving slightly against their backs. "We do have time…but not a moment can be wasted. We…we must get ourselves together, make a plan…there are things we must do to be ready."

All of their words were beginning to make an impact on the Slayers, chipping away at their helpless, near immobilizing grief. Slowly it was beginning to occur to them that they were right…it wasn't over yet. Dawn was still alive… and as long as she was, as long as there was still a chance, they would do whatever it took to get her back. No matter what…

Buffy felt her tears slow considerably, and from the way she felt Faith take a shuddery breath against her, it seemed that she was pulling herself together too. She waited until she felt Faith lift her head from her shoulder to unwind her arm from around her enough to wipe at her face. Once this was done, however, Buffy put her arm around Faith again, holding her to her tightly as she looked back at the others.

"Okay," she said somewhat hoarsely, and she saw Faith nod faintly.

Giles gave them a small smile; Buffy thought that normally he would squeeze their shoulders, but given their injuries now, he settled for patting their backs somewhat awkwardly.

"Now, injuries must be tended to first. Xander, Willow, Tara, none of you appear to be concussed, nor to have anything worse than fairly extensive bruising and cuts, but it is vital that you rest a while, and Xander, I want to look at your ribs and jaw. And Xander-" his voice hardened as he spoke his next sentence- "if you want Anya to sustain no further injuries, I suggest you get her out of here immediately. A visit to the hospital may be in order, as I am not entirely sure she doesn't have a concussion. Her nose is broken as well."

"Yeah, I'll, I'll get to that," Xander said quickly, "and my ribs are fine…nothing but…yeah, I'm good…"

He lifted his girlfriend into his arms. As much as he hated what she had done, the angry incredulity still clearly displayed across his features, they were mingled with concern and love as well. What she had done had not made him stop loving her, and as much as Buffy wanted to condemn that, she couldn't. Didn't she feel the same about those she loved?

Faith was not so generous; her dark eyes narrowed, and she glared in the couple's direction fiercely.

"If I ever see her again, I swear I will kill her," she spat, and the sincerity in her tone was clear. "So you better keep her very fuckin' far away…"

"Uh, right," Xander said quickly, but it was clear from his wide eyes that he believed her. "Uh, okay, we're gone."

"We'll call you later," Giles said, and his expression was neutral, but his eyes narrowed too when they came to rest on Anya. "We'll let you know what is going on. And Xander, I agree with Faith… if you come to join us later, I would highly suggest you leave her somewhere else."

Xander nodded again, glancing down at the now entirely unconscious girl in his arms before looking back over at the other's faces, which were varying between smoldering rage to stony bitterness to a sort of horrified ambivalence. Looking down at Anya again, his jaw tightening even as his eyes remained stunned at her badly battered condition, he carried her out the building's front door.

Giles watched them for a few moments before turning to the Slayers once more, gesturing slightly.

"Let me look at your injuries," he said quietly, and Buffy loosened her hold on Faith, allowing her to turn around to face him while still remaining in her lap. Giles took Faith's hurt arm very gently in his hands, carefully feeling around her shoulder socket and the area where it had pulled apart. Even his light touching made her face tighten with pain, though she made no sounds.

"Buffy, hold her other shoulder with your hand," he ordered, and Buffy did as he asked. Taking Faith's shoulder, he shoved her arm back in one hard, quick motion, causing her face to tighten even further, but then relax slightly once it was back in place. Giles felt around her shoulder for a few moments with careful but firm movements with careful but firm thoroughness, before turning to Buffy, taking her shattered hand into his.

"This isn't quite so simple," he muttered to himself before looking to Willow and Tara, who were standing nearby, watching. "Willow, Tara… do you feel strong enough to perhaps do a spell for her, to heal her…"

The girls looked at each other only briefly before both nodded, seeming eager to do anything they could to help.

"Of course… sure we can," Willow replied rapidly, and she moved closer, stopping before them. "We can do one to strengthen the bones, which would in turn bind them together…"

"It- it may t-take a little while," Tara began uncertainly, her eyes going from Giles's to Buffy's. "We'll need supplies…"

"We're surrounded by them," Giles pointed out. "Do what you can, and as quickly as possible."

The two witches left to do as he said, relieved to have something to focus on. Buffy, Faith and Giles were quiet as they waited, lost in their own thoughts. Buffy felt her hand throbbing, a hot mass of pain, and she held Faith against her tightly once more, trying to block it out, block everything out…

Willow and Tara returned a couple of minutes later, setting up the items they needed for the spell before kneeling down beside the Slayers again. Taking Buffy's hand very tenderly in one hand and each other's in the other, they began to recite in Latin a spell of healing. It took some time, but eventually Buffy felt the sharp pain in her hand dull to a persistent ache as the bones resettled. Finally she pulled her hand from theirs and flexed the fingers. It still hurt, but the bleeding had stopped, and the bones were intact once more.

"Thank you," she said quietly, but without much feeling. Willow and Tara smiled back somewhat weakly, each giving her a touch meant to reassure, even as the anxiety didn't leave their eyes. If Buffy knew Willow, she was full out freaking on the inside…and both she and Tara must be beating themselves up almost as much as she and Faith were.

"Listen to me," Giles said when he had looked over Buffy's hand as well and ascertained shew as healing, then began to clean the various cuts and gouges on his, Buffy's, and Faith's faces. Nearby Willow and Tara did the same for each other.

"Willow- Tara- you need to go back to your dorm and rest. No doubt between the magic you have performed and the injuries Glory dealt you, you need it."

They did look tired, their features drawn, and Tara's hand where she dabbed at the cut on Willow's forehead was shaking slightly. Willow frowned, looking like she might argue for a few moments, but then nodded slightly.

"Okay…for just a little while, though. What, what will you and Buffy and Faith do?"

"We will rest too," Giles replied, but Faith looked up sharply, clearly not agreeing with that. Buffy felt her stiffen against her instantly before she abruptly stood up out of Buffy's lap, looking at Giles in protesting indignation.

"Rest?! I'm not going to rest! We can't REST, Giles, we don't' have time to rest! We have to go, we have to get Dawn back! We-"

"We need to rest," Giles said firmly, staring straight into Faith's darkened eyes. "I may have replaced your shoulder into its socket, Faith, but without giving it time to fully heal, one knock will pop it right back out of place again. And then how will you be any use to Dawn? We all need to be as strong as possible- and not only physically. If you go after her now you will be running purely on adrenaline and raw emotion, and you will almost certainly get yourself killed. If you truly want to help Dawn- if you truly want to stop Glory- then you will go home and rest a decent time, and you will make a plan of action with all the rest of us when we all have clearer minds to think with."

Faith hesitated, her lips thinning, before finally nodding jerkily.

"Okay, whatever. But only a little while. And then I'm gonna rip through everywhere she has any chance of taking Dawn to, and I'm gonna kill every fuckin thing that gets in my way."

"Sounds like a plan," Giles responded, and Buffy could hear the weariness in his voice now as he turned back toward the others. "Go home. Rest- I will call you before we meet again."

As they all stood, beginning to walk towards the door, Buffy couldn't help but share Faith's feeling of restless frustration, of wanting to do more. Giles was right, they couldn't leave right now… but neither could they afford to waste time. As Buffy slipped her fingers into Faith's, squeezing them tightly, she wanted to burst into tears again at the knowledge that wherever Dawn was, she would have no one there to give her comfort.


	27. Chapter 27

Bonded

Chapter 27

The group broke itself up soon after Giles's orders had been reluctantly agreed to. Giles had told Buffy and Faith to follow him in their car to come to his house with him; apparently he didn't fully trust that if left to go to their own home, they would actually remain there and rest. As the girls got into the car, Buffy behind the wheel, and followed him back to his place, it was painfully obvious to them both that someone was missing- that DAWN was missing. Neither girl said more than a few words for the duration of the drive; both were concentrating on trying to breathe around the harsh constriction of their throats.

When they arrived at Giles's place, the man had nearly immediately dove into his collection of books, making lists and notes and what seemed a cross between a plan for action and a freewrite. When Buffy and Faith had gone to him and attempted to help, he had waved them away, insisting they rest mentally as well as physically. This seemed a near impossibility for them, particularly in Faith's case, as she was wanting to run out the door and track Glory immediately, but Giles had persisted in directing them to sit on his couch and do nothing but drink the water he set before them. Eventually beaten down by his surprising forcefulness, they had done so.

Buffy had burrowed herself into Faith's side, her head leaned heavily against the brunette's shoulder, and she listened to the other girl's furious frustrated ranting, complete with angry gestures. As Faith went on, faster and faster, Buffy felt her own body tense against her. Faith had left the water Giles gave her sitting untouched as Buffy didn't try to talk back to her. She wasn't sure she would have been able to. She just let Faith's words wash over her, let her own morbid thoughts plague her mind.

Eventually Faith had began to slow the speed and frequency of her ranting, then stop altogether, until Buffy realized that she was fiercely fighting against tears. Becoming a little more alert, even as Faith at last began to gulp down large swallows of the water before her, Buffy had tightened her arms around her, adjusting her position so that it was Faith's head on her shoulder rather than the other way around, and she had just held her, her own lips drawing into a very thin, controlled line. After some time she felt Faith's body shift, relaxing against her, and heard her breathing grow heavier; glancing at her, she had realized that she was asleep. Buffy had glanced over at Giles, but he was not acknowledging it. He seemed to think that for now that was okay, maybe even preferable.

So, sighing raggedly, Buffy simply ran a hand slowly over Faith's head, gently enough not to wake her, and sipped on her own glass of water, trying once more to make some sort of sense, some logical use out of her jumbled array of thought. Eventually she found herself slowing down, her thoughts fading, and without quite realizing it, she found herself drifting off along with her girlfriend.

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Buffy awoke with a start to a gentle hand on her shoulder and a quiet voice calling her name. Her eyes flew open, and she looked around with some panic, temporarily disoriented. It took her a few moments to realize that she was at Giles's house, that he was the person who had awakened her, and the warm weight stirring against her side was Faith.

She had fallen asleep… DAMMIT, how could she have fallen asleep?! She didn't even have an entire DAY left until Christmas, and Dawn was GONE, Glory had taken her, was doing god knows what with her… how the hell could she have fallen asleep?!

"Oh god," she gasped, bolting to her feet, her eyes darting about frantically. The same horrified distress was evident on Faith's face beside her. "I fell asleep, oh god… I didn't mean to, I don't know how-"

"Oh shit, what time is it?!" Faith almost yelled, her voice panicky as well. "What's going on, damn, we have to go find Dawn- dammit, Giles, why didn't you wake us up before?!"

"Because I wanted you both to get some sleep," Giles said very calmly, and he gestured at the empty water glasses before them. "You needed to have time to rest in both mind and body, and I knew you wouldn't be able to on your own, so I gave you some help."

Faith's eyes widened considerably at that, and for a moment Buffy was afraid the younger Slayer was going to spring herself upon him much in the same way she had Anya. And Buffy had to say she didn't blame her…

"You fuckin' DRUGGED us?!"

"No, Faith, what I did was make sure you would be able to heal," Giles said levelly, meeting her incredulous, infuriated eyes with a steady gaze of his own. "I think you'll find that during your time asleep your shoulder, and your hand, Buffy, were able to heal completely. But if you want to waste time being angry rather than listening to what I have to say, I suppose that would be your choice."

Faith glared at him, but she was listening. Buffy was too, stiffening slightly in anticipation of his words. Seeing that he had their attention, Giles went on.

"We have nine hours until the first moments of Christmas- assuming, of course, that it counts as a day of sacrifice, and that this is the day that Glory has chosen to use Dawn on. I don't think we can afford to assume otherwise. If we act fast and rationally, there is still time. Now for the past few hours I have been looking up any spells that may be useful for Willow and Tara to learn, and gathering weapons for our possible use. I have read and re-read Willow's notes on the sacrifice day and the key. I have called Angel and Wesley both for their input and possible research help with this, and they are informed and on the lookout. The problem is that right now Cordelia is missing too- she has apparently somehow been taken into an alternate world from ours. I'm afraid they may not actively join us in this."

He paused, taking off his glasses to clean as he continued. "It occurred to me that Glory may very well have needed to visit Ben, to merge with him, after the occurrence at the Magic Box, so I also dropped by the hospital. However, as it's Christmas Eve, he has a day off. I have called Willow and Tara to come here and learn spells- I think it would be best for you girls to look for Ben in his apartment."

"Why?" Faith asked, frowning. "HE won't know anything… he won't even know that Glory's using him-"

"Exactly," Giles replied. "And I think it's time he learned by this point. It will give us an advantage if Ben is with us, for surely Glory will have to jump into him at some point. Now, I have been looking over the spells Willow and Tara found about perhaps causing Glory to have to switch hosts, but I am not entirely sure yet if it is possible to twist them to suit our purposes. I suppose I shall have to see when they arrive. But yes, as I was saying… if Glory has not visited him yet then she will probably do so soon. It would be much better if we could get to him first.

The slayers stared, thinking about this, and Buffy asked sarcastically, "So…what, do we go to his apartment or house or whatever and just go, 'Hey Ben, you're possessed by a hell god who kidnapped Dawn and wants to use her to doom the world. Why don't you come along with us now?' Is that what you're saying?"

"Er…yes, I suppose so," Giles said slowly, blinking a little at Buffy's blunt summary.

"Okay," Faith shrugged, seemingly more than ready to get to it. "Let's do it."

She started towards the front door, but Buffy grabbed her, stopping her before turning back to Giles.

"Wait..is he in the phonebook? We need an address…"

"Yes, I had Willow hack into the hospital files for it, he was an unlisted number. Here, it's written down right here for you."

He handed Buffy a slip of paper. Faith glanced at it briefly before turning again. "Yeah, okay, then we're outta here…and after this, hitting the demon bars…"

"We'll call you," Buffy called quickly over her shoulder, and she followed after the brunette, sliding into the passenger seat. Surely Ben would know…and even if he didn't believe them, they could find ways to persuade him into coming with them.

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Ben leaned forward from where he was seated on the couch, surveying the items scattered about the coffee table before him and the floor around it with a slight frown. So this is what he got for total procrastination…

He had the wrapping paper, the tape and scissors, and the gifts- well, he was pretty sure he had all the gifts he needed for everybody, anyway. He'd never been very good at making lists… and he never knew what to get or how to wrap the things.

Well, it's not like anyone will really care how it looks anyway, he told himself, as he had for the past several years around this time. They just rip the wrapping paper right off anyway. No one really notices if it's neat-looking…

What he should have done was just get gift cards. Or even better, buy the gifts for his family in stores that would wrap them for you. Oh well, too late now…

Ben reached for his gift for his mother, awkwardly cutting a strip of paper that he estimated would cover the item. He was going over to her house tomorrow for Christmas, along with his sister and her family. It would be nice to spend the day with them, although Ben knew that it would of course lead to the inevitable questions about finding himself a girl. It wasn't that Ben didn't want a wife or girlfriend. He was just so busy, and it just never seemed to happen, was all…

Ben began to clumsily fold the wrapping paper around the gift, getting far too much tape, and trying to tear it in half awkwardly, when he suddenly got the feeling that he was no longer alone in the room. Looking up quickly, he saw that his assumption was correct- for standing in the doorway of his living room, just outside of the adjoining kitchen area, was a small figure that he recognized to be Dawn Summers, one of the young girls he had helped at the hospital a month or so ago.

Seeing her standing there, Ben blinked quickly, startled and somewhat alarmed. There was the question of how she had gotten here, of course, past his locked door…he had locked it, hadn't he? And how did she know his address anyway- why would she come here to see him on Christmas Eve? Sure, the girl had clearly had a crush, but if she'd really gone to all this trouble…

Then there was the knowledge of this particular girl's history. She had slit her wrists when she came to the hospital in a serious, if botched, attempt to kill herself. And the last time he saw her and her sisters, they had told them that their mother had died. For her to be here in his apartment, she must really be in trouble…something horrible must have happened, and she must have nowhere else to go.

All this flicked across his thoughts in a matter of moments, and Ben stood, setting down what he had been holding and addressing her. It was then that he noticed what his initial startled glance had failed to see… Dawn was not alone in the doorway after all. There was an older, larger girl there, a girl who was neither of her sisters… and the young woman was holding Dawn by the shoulders, smiling in a manner that suddenly struck Ben as quite ominous. As he looked back down at Dawn again, he realized slowly that her eyes were wide, pleading… and terrified.

"Dawn," Ben blurted out as he looked from the teen to the person holding her- RESTRAINING her, he amended with growing alarm. "What are you doing here…um, and I'm afraid I don't know your friend here…"

"What, you don't' recognize your own face when you see it?" Glory smirked. "Well, I suppose I can forgive that… after all, I'm technically behind your face."

Ben just stared, uncomprehending, feeling cold dread tighten in his chest. He started towards them, intending to extract Dawn from her, but Glory just laughed.

"Like you really could, vessel… Dreg, Jinx, let's move on already, I'm bored!"

Suddenly, two brown robed, strange-faced creatures appeared behind her, grinning in supplication… and even as Ben fought back, it was obvious to him from the first few moments that he would lose.

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It didn't take the Slayers very long to arrive at Ben's apartment; in fact, with Faith's scary-yet-skilled speedy driving, it seemed Buffy had barely buckled her seatbelt before she was getting out of the car again in front of rows of apartment complexes. By the time Buffy had emerged from the car, Faith had already looked around for the area of where Ben's apartment number should be and started heading towards it rapidly without speaking to Buffy or waiting for her to catch up. Buffy hurried to get alongside of her, finally falling in stride. She didn't speak either; like Faith, the thoughts running through her head and her grim focus on the task they were carrying out was more than enough to keep her busy.

They climbed the outer steps up to Ben's apartment and found his room number a minute or two later. Buffy saw Faith tensing herself, drawing back in a way that made her think she was going to break the door down immediately, and she quickly put a hand on her arm to stop her.

"Faith- Faith, wait. We don't want to scare him before we even explain…just ring the doorbell."

Faith looked at her as if she was asking a silly and unreasonable thing of her, but nevertheless she jabbed the doorbell hard, holding it down longer than necessary. As they waited for Ben to open the door, Buffy's mind was still racing, her stomach cramping with unease. There was really no way they would be able to get Ben to believe them, most likely. And if he didn't believe them, there was no way they'd be able to get him to come with them on Christmas Eve of all nights…

Essentially, what they would probably have to is kidnap him. Buffy really didn't want to…Ben was a nice guy, he'd been very sweet to Dawn. But now Dawn was gone, and to get her back, to protect her, Buffy would do anything.

They waited, Faith noticeably restless and impatient, but Ben was not coming to the door. They couldn't even hear anyone moving around inside, heard no voice call out for them to hold on a minute…

"He has to be home," Buffy said aloud, almost incredulous, more because she wished it were true then because she really thought it was. "He has to be."

Faith jammed the doorbell again, holding it down longer than before this time. Again, there was no response. As they waited, Buffy's anxiety increased sharply. Where was he- how were they supposed to find him now?

Then a darker thought struck her sharply, and Buffy stiffened. What if Glory had already come by… what if that's why he wasn't answering, because Glory had him? What if she had already taken him…what if-

Apparently Faith was having similar thoughts, because she abruptly kicked the door in, not waiting for Buffy to speak again. Buffy didn't have time to worry about whether any of the neighbors had seen or heard her and were busy calling the police, because Faith was striding ahead, and she wasn't about to get left behind.

From the first glance it was obvious that her fears were true… Ben was definitely not home, nor would he be for…who knows how long.

The apartment had clearly been disturbed. The coffee table and a nearby lamp were overturned, as if during a struggle, and wrapping paper, tape, and gifts were scattered about the floor, some gifts broken or trod upon. There was no blood on the floor, but this meant nothing…for there had clearly been violence.

Buffy stared, barely hearing herself when she breathed but the first thought coming to her mind. Her shoulders sagged slightly, and she felt limp even as beside her Faith stood rigidly.

"She took him… Glory, she must have took him…"

"Shit," Faith spat, and there was no dazed quality to her tone, nothing stunned or disbelieving about it. "Fuck…that fuckin' bitch…"

As Buffy's eyes drifted about the room, taking in the mess, she spied something glistening back by the doorway near the kitchen. Suspicion taking over, she quickly walked over to it, then went to pick it up. Once it was in her hand, she just stared at it, a lump forming slowly in her throat even as her lips formed a very thin line.

Faith had picked up the coffee table and slammed it down again in a angry frustration, succeeding in splitting it in half. Now she glanced over at Buffy, her face quickly stilling as she noticed Buffy's hunched posture, the way she seemed entranced by what she held in her palm.

"B, what is it- what are you looking at?"

She moved over to stand next to her, peering into Buffy's hands… and then her eyes widened as she saw it too.

"Is that…"

"Yes," Buffy said quietly, not lifting her eyes from what she was still holding. "Dawn's earring… I gave it to her for her birthday…"

Faith took a shuddering breath, her eyes still glued to it, her face very still. When she spoke, the utter relief in her voice was quite audible.

"She was here…she's…she's still alive…"

"Yeah…" Buffy breathed, seeming still slightly in awe of this fact. Then, shaking her head abruptly and looking up into Faith's eyes, she added more strongly, "Of course she is. She's okay… and we'll make sure she stays that way."

Faith nodded, her expression hardening as her face grew resolute once more, matching the renewed determination and strength in Buffy's. Both girls were standing straighter, more confidently, just from this small sign of Dawn's continued existence.

"Call Giles and tell him what's up," she told Buffy levelly. "I think we got some demon bars to go raise hell in…"

"Hopefully not literally, though," Buffy said wryly, but as she dug in her pocket for her cell phone, following Faith's long strides to exit the apartment, she felt better. Maybe they didn't know how to do this, but with all of them working, surely they'd figure it out now. They always had before…


	28. Chapter 28

Bonded

Chapter 28

But it wasn't as simple as Buffy had hoped. Nothing seemed to be working out… nothing seemed to be going right, to be helping them out in the least. And the more time wore on, the more frustrated and desperate the Slayers grew to find Dawn, or at least to find out something that could help them find her. Several hours had passed now, and they had nothing- nothing…

Buffy and Faith had been tearing through all of Sunnydale, checking out any and every place where Glory might have taken Dawn, or where there might be demons or other creatures or shady dwellings that might know something about her, her whereabouts, or her intentions. They had been to warehouses and the factory they had originally seen Glory in, cemeteries and mausoleums, demon bars and hangouts, the Bronze… everywhere in Sunnydale that wasn't a private home or dwelling had been quickly visited, any demon present violently threatened and beaten in hopes of obtaining information.

They had gotten plenty of information all right, plenty of confessions- but none of them had been what they had wanted. It seemed that nothing and no one in all of Sunnydale knew anything about Glory or the key- at least, nothing beyond what they already knew themselves. For there were a few amongst the many that had, like Anya, heard tales of Glorificus and the key… but none knew even a quarter as much as Anya had. The few who knew even this much had barely even heard the name in passing. If she hadn't been rapidly sliding into an increasingly sickening sense of panic, Buffy would have been incredulous that so few knew of such a supposedly powerful god, one more ancient than was noted in history. If she was so great, why the hell didn't anyone or anything know it?

What only made it worse was how many times they had been given false hope- not only by demons who had heard of Glory, but also from Willow, Tara, and Giles. While Buffy and Faith had been stalking demon undergrounds, the witches and Giles had been continuing in their research and spell-learning. They had been working on a locator spell to find Dawn for some time now, and several times they had been led to what they believed was Dawn's location. Each time they excitedly called the Slayers, however, it had turned out that the location had been wherever Faith and Buffy were.

They hadn't understood at first why this kept occurring until it finally dawned on Willow that because Dawn herself was not entirely real, but rather made of Buffy's and Faith's essences, that their efforts to track her down would only continue to lead them to them. Unless, of course, they could figure out some way to change it, they would be unable to find Dawn through a spell. Until then they were learning all they could to possibly use against her.

The more time passed, the sicker Buffy felt, and the more she felt as if a slowly spreading heavy dread was weighing down every part of her. It was hard to keep moving, keep pushing forward, keep her head as clear and unclouded as possible. She and Faith didn't speak more than was necessary, and she could easily see how the other girl's face was growing more and more rigid, how her entire form was almost radiating her strong emotions. Every time their cell phone rang, both girls jumped, their hearts leaping with hope not quite yet given up on… and every time it brought them nowhere closer to Dawn, they felt as if another small piece of something vital inside them had been brutally ripped away.

They were running out of places to go in Sunnydale and on the town's outskirts. Buffy had noticed Faith's jaw setting harder and harder with each exit, the way her nails left deep cuts in her palm from her tightly balled fists. With each demon Faith's blows grew more brutal, her demands more aggressive and bordering desperate; with each failure Buffy felt herself gradually withdrawing into her tangled thoughts, feeling less a part of the world, everything less real. Even glancing at Faith's split, bleeding knuckles, touching her own lightly, did not seem to make this any more real. The only thing that kept Buffy grounded in her mission was the nearly physical pain she felt in her heart… and the only thing keeping Faith from snapping entirely was the knowledge that Dawn needed them.

It wasn't until then they tried the last demon hangout they knew of, one on the outskirts of Sunnydale, clear across town from where they had started, that they finally caught a break. For sitting right there on the barstool with his face in profile was one of the brown-robed, crinkly-haired, gnome-faced guys that had been with Glory in the warehouse several months ago…

The Slayers' heartbeats sped up with their excitement, and with not much more than a hurried glance at each other, they rushed over to him. Buffy reached him first, throwing him hard off the barstool and onto the floor. The creature didn't have time to do more than widen his eyes and start to gurgle with stunned fright before Faith had yanked him up off of the floor roughly, slamming him against the wall and keeping him pinned there as she pushed her face very close to his. All around them the demons and other creatures present were backing up, clearly intimidated, if not outright fleeing. As Buffy stood close to Faith, facing them, weapons drawn and held out menacingly, a gaggle of fierce whispers spread through the crowd.

"Slayers…it's the Slayers…"

"Where is she?!" Faith spat, her face about two inches from the creature's knobby nose, and her eyes had darkened so much with her fury that they almost appeared to be black. "Tell me where the hell she is!"

"I-I don't know what you mean," the creature under her hands stammered, even as the terror in his eyes and tremor in his voice belied his words. His eyes darted about, trying not to see Faith near him. "I d-don't know who you're talking about…"

"You know exactly who the hell I'm talking about!" Faith yelled, and she shook him roughly, deliberately smacking his head into the wall. "Where is Glory- where is your boss- and where has she taken Dawn?!"

"She- she hasn't taken dawn," the demon started to attempt to say, his words stuttering and uncertain even as he attempted casual cool and wit. "See, she might be a god and all, but even the esteemed and magnificent Glorificus can control when the sun rises and sets, that's-"

Faith jerked one fist back to sock him in the mouth, but surprisingly it was Buffy's fist beside her that made contact… three times she hit him, each blowing harder than the last, as he screamed, very much in pain, his lumpy face bleeding and his cheekbone broken. Buffy's expression was fierce, almost murderous, her mouth pinched and eyes slit until they were barely open at all, and she spoke in a voice so tight and furious that the few demons remaining around them, including the skittish bar tender, retreated even further from her at the sound.

"If you don't' tell me where the hell Glory has taken my sister, then I will break every bone in your body. Then, I will stab you a few times in the shoulder, arm, legs… nowhere vital, just enough to really make it hurt. And then, when you're screaming nonstop, I'll rip out your voice box and use it as a lasso to choke you with. And then, if I feel really generous, I MIGHT let you die… but I wouldn't count on that."

The little creature's eyes were bulging, the aghast fright shining in them more strongly than ever. He seemed unable to speak for several moments, and Faith could feel him under her hands, starting to shake. The younger Slayer too stared at Buffy for a few seconds, but more from awe and much admiration and surprise than horror. She grinned slightly in spite of herself before turning back to scowl at the creature before her.

"Yeah…what she said."

"I…I don't know!" the brown-robed figure pleaded, and he shook his head almost frantically. "I don't know, I swear, I don't know anything about your sister… I don't-"

Both Buffy and Faith hit him in the same instant, and he screamed again shrilly, starting to whimper and cower in a way that disgusted and further angered them both. Buffy thought he looked like he was crying, though no tears emerged. Maybe he wasn't physically capable of crying or something, whatever he was.

"Let's try this again," Buffy said tautly as she slowly wrapped a hand around his scrawny, rough-feeling neck and began to exert some pressure. "I asked you to tell me where they are… and if you won't do it, I have no problem holding up my end of the bargain."

"You better just fuckin' do it, man," Faith said darkly; idly, she flipped out a knife from the inside folds of her jacket, beginning to toy with it with deliberate casualness. "She gets a little crazy when she's pissed off…"

Suddenly she stuck the knife blade into his shoulder through the folds of his robe, retracting it just as swiftly. He yelled even louder this time, his eyes bulging; there was no amusement in Faith's eyes as she maintained, "Almost as crazy as me."

"I don't know about your sister, I swear," the little gnome sobbed, looking between them with eyes pleading for mercy and understanding.

Neither girl gave him any; they just stared at him stonily, not so much as an ounce of sympathy or unease for him in either their expressions or their hearts. If anything, they only wanted to beat him even more as they looked at his pathetic, wheedling expression. Only through extreme self-control- that, and the knowledge that this whining little bastard might actually know where Dawn- did they keep themselves from hitting him again.

"She didn't say anything about a girl… all she was saying about was the key, that she'd finally found the key, she didn't' say-"

"My sister is the key," Buffy interrupted, her voice rising sharply and the creature looked more stricken and petrified than ever. "What do you know- what was she saying? What the hell is she doing with her- WHERE HAS GLORY TAKEN HER?!"

"I don't' know… I never even saw the key, I didn't know what it was, what it looked like. I didn't even see Glory today, I swear," he babbled, and Buffy waited with her pulse speeding up, trying to contain her excitement, to calm down the wild hope once more rising in her chest. "We, she has this, this connection with us, we know when she wants us without her being there. We are her servants, linked t her mind, unworthy as we are to be associated with such greatness-"

He gasped as Faith raised her knife threateningly again, making as if to stab him again. She smiled menacingly as she spoke.

"Get. To. The. Point."

"So…so she called us through, through her mind," the creature squeaked, swallowing noticeably. "She told us she had the key, to come to help her…but I… I kind of didn't…I mean, I was planning to, I was- but I thought, I thought I'd just have one last drink before we go home again-"

"WHERE IS SHE?!" Buffy almost screamed, feeling herself starting to lose it a little now, and she began to squeeze his neck, just enough to make him start to gag, eyes wide. "Where is she…tell me where the hell is she!"

"Right now I don't know!" he cried desperately. "But she's leaving tonight, going to another town…it's a little ways away from here…I think it's called LaMorte, I think that's what she said, because it's so old and the history of violence there is so-"

Buffy's heart leapt, and she glanced at Faith quickly, seeing the sudden glow of her eyes mirrored in the brunette's. LaMorte… which meant 'the death'…how appropriate…

So they had a town, a place…and what's more, Buffy had even heard of it. Buffy it was several hours from Sunnydale. But still- they had a name, they knew where Glory would be…

Relief settled over Buffy strongly then… relief, and a stronger sense of hope and will than she had felt all day. They knew where Glory was heading, or would be heading… they would get there if they had to hijack a plane to do it. They would get Dawn back, they would stop this…they would…

Through her bond with Faith she could feel the other girl's relief as well, almost joy, though she didn't look at her, and Faith didn't' smile or otherwise betray her thoughts. She kept her hand around the creature's throat, though she loosened up her hold a little, and Faith kept her knife poised to stab as he continued to babble away anxiously.

"That's where she'll use the key tonight, at the hour of sacrifice… up at the highest part of te town, that's where she'll do it, that's what she said, to be above all else, to show her power and mightiness. And, and then she'll use the key, she'll conjure up the orb, and then she'll use the key to open it up, and she'll-"

"She'll cut her," Faith said tautly, her dark eyes sparking. "She'll cut her, is that right?"

"Well… well if the key has a human form, then yeah… once, once the blood hits the orb it should, it should open it up, and she'll get to go home-"

"Destroying everyone else's home in the meantime, and destroying my sister's life," Buffy said acidly, and she squeezed his neck again, making him gasp, eyes bulging. "Well guess what…you're going to help us stop it."

"What?! N-no, I can't- I don't know how- Glorificus-"

"Oh, we'll make you hurt worse than that skanky bitch ever dreamed of," Faith promised harshly, and she stuck the knife up against his chest. "Speak up, Lumpy- if she opens up the orb with Dawn's blood, how do we close it again?"

"I don't know, I swear-"

"Wrong answer!" Faith snapped, and she stabbed him quickly in the other shoulder, making him scream in pain.

"Aggghh! I don't know, I swear..I really don't know! She never said… she didn't care how to close it, only how to open it! I don't know… please don't hurt me, I don't know…"

The girls stared at him with clear disgust and contempt, than glanced at each other. He seemed sincere… and that was the problem. Well they'd just have to make sure the orb never opened then…

"Good news," Buffy told the sniveling creature abruptly, and he looked at her curiously, scarcely daring to hope. "I believe you."

"Oh thank you, Miss… Miss Slayer… thank you, I'm not lying to you-"

"Oh you're not through yet," she interrupted harshly. "Since we don't know how to shut down the orb if it starts, you're going to take us to Glory so we know that we can stop it before it starts."

The little guy looked flabbergasted at that; his mouth opened and closed several times, and he looked to Buffy like a very ugly and greasy-haired fish. Maybe one of those weird puffer kinds…

"But Miss Slayer- I can't!"

"Oh hell yeah you can," Buffy corrected him, "or do I need to run through the list of everything I'll do to you if you won't again?"

"But you don't' understand…when Glorificus finds out, she'll kill me! It's bad enough, what I've already told you… if I bring you to her, she'll kill me-"

"No," Faith interrupted acerbically, and the heated fury in her eyes made the creature before her swallow hard. "No, she won't… I will."

And with that she brought down her knife in one jerky motion, stabbing him the heart. As the figure's eyes bulged, and he choked, making a horrible wet sound that sent involuntary shivers down Buffy's spine, Faith stood there, her face unmoving.

The few demons who had remained in the bar were leaving in a hurry now, and Buffy turned to gawk at her, her own eyes suddenly wide with shock.

"Faith…you just killed him!"

"We know where to go, we didn't need him anymore," she said tautly, but Buffy could see the pain in her eyes behind the carefully covering anger and toughness.

"Faith-"

"He would have killed Dawn, B… in a heartbeat. And he would have done it and been glad," Faith interrupted, and her voice was even tighter now, her eyes more hooded. "So let's go call Giles and tell him what's up, Xander too, 'cause we're heading to LaMorte."

Even with Faith's logic, even though Buffy agreed, had wanted to kill the little cowering minion of Glory's herself, Buffy couldn't help but glance back at it, a little troubled, before following her. It wasn't the thing's death that bothered her she could have cheerfully killed it herself. She wasn't sorry that it was dead, nor did she think Faith was wrong to do so. It was more that Faith had done it… she worried about her, how she was feeling, what was going through her head…

Faith was already on the phone with Giles by the time they stepped outside, from her tense expression and the way she was gripping the phone, Faith didn't like what he was saying. Buffy tried to listen, but Faith was barely responding, and she couldn't get the gist of what was going on. As they slid into the car, Faith behind the wheel, Buffy tried to get her attention, but Faith ignored her- only increasing her concern.

When she finally hung up, she only said to Buffy, tersely, "They'll follow after us. Giles is calling X-Man."

Buffy waited, but as Faith started up the car, it was apparent she wouldn't volunteer anything further on her own. She glanced over at her surreptiously before speaking up.

"Uh, Faith?"

The words were slow in coming. "Yeah, B?"

"What did Giles have to say?"

Faith exhaled, and Buffy could see her shoulders tense further as she drove. "I already told you, B."

"No, Faith, you didn't," Buffy persisted, now starting to get a little annoyed as well as worried. "You said they'd follow after us. I know in all that time that wasn't' all that Giles said to you. This is not the time to start hiding things because you don't like to talk about them. Whatever's going on, I need to know too. So tell me- what did Giles have to say?"

Faith's hands tightened around the steering wheel, and her mouth thinned; Buffy could almost physically see her thoughts struggling with each other. Finally, just when Buffy thought she would have to repeat herself more forcefully, Faith spoke.

"He and Willow already know about LaMorte, where it is and all. Apparently it's some real old city with legends of a bloody past, maybe even was once a center of sacrifices or something, like a blood city. So the bookworm squad is all kicking them themselves for not thinking of it before."

She went quiet again for a while, and Buffy waited, but nothing further came. She prodded her again, really starting to get anxious now. What was it Giles had said that was making her so tense, so reluctant to repeat it?

"Faith, come on…please tell me," she said quietly, trying to catch her eyes. She wanted to touch her, but with Faith driving right now, her nerves already taut, that might not be such a good idea. "I'll know eventually anyway, because if you don't tell me, I'll call him, and then you'll have to talk to me about it anyway. So why don't we get it over with right now?"

Faith exhaled, and Buffy waited, almost holding her breath without realizing it. Faith's voice was almost too normal when she spoke, and Buffy knew what an effort it must be for her to try to maintain it.

"Willow thinks she's figured out something… you know how we were trying to get that thing in the bar to tell us how to shut down the orb Glory's gonna try to make, if we don't stop her before she makes it?"

"Yes," Buffy replied, trying to keep her voice neutral too as she nodded, unconsciously smoothing her hands against her thighs. "Yes, what about it… what did she figure out?"

She didn't like the fact that Faith had referred to Willow by her name rather than her nickname. She never did that unless she was dead serious, or else too worried to think about being playful…what had Giles told her, what had Willow figured out?! What had shaken Faith so badly, when they should be optimistic…

"They say that the highest part of the town is this tower thing- a water or electric tower or something, he said we'd know it when we saw it," Faith went on, a little stiffly now. "Marks the exact center of the town or something. He thinks that's where the bitch will take Dusk – where she'll conjure up the orb. And Red, she thinks she- she knows how to shut it, if Glory opens it…"

"Yes?" Buffy said quickly when Faith cut off again, and she realized that she was leaning forward instinctively. "Faith, you're kinda killing me here… how do we close the orb?"

Buffy didn't fail to notice how Faith cringed when she said the word 'killing.' Before too long it was made all too clear to her why this was so.

"She found or translated something about the key," Faith said finally, her voice still slightly off, and Buffy didn't think the way she was staring straight ahead was entirely to do with the fact that she was driving. "And she says that once the key is used to open the orb, then it has to be used to close it… only to destroy the orb… you have to destroy the key too."

She wasn't saying 'she' or 'her,' wasn't using Dawn's name, but Buffy didn't notice this. All she had heard was the phrase 'destroy the key'…which, in turn, meant destroying Dawn…

She was very still, her features stiffening, as Faith went on, her voice less steady now, angry, and yet frustrated, frightened in a way that only intensified Buffy's own emotions.

"And since it's on a tower… the key… Dawn…would have to be thrown into the orb. They…Willow thinks that would break it, like, contact with her blood again… as she was being destroyed. So..she… Giles and she think she'd have to be thrown out into the orb, wherever it is…and off of the tower."

Faith's voice got quieter towards the last few words, and she stared at the road, the already-very-fast speed she was driving creeping up still higher. Again Buffy barely noticed this, didn't see the tensing of her jaw… she was still almost frozen, her face paling with her growing horror at the brunette's words.

She couldn't have heard right…or it couldn't be true… it had to be one or the other. No way would she let Dawn be even injured- no way would she let her die, even if it was to save the world. No way-

"They think she'd have to die," Buffy almost whispered. "They think we'd have to kill her."

She shook her head rapidly, her voice rising as she protested, "No! No, Faith, we can't- I'm not going to do it! We can't!"

"I know," Faith replied through clinched teeth, not daring to glance at her lover, to take in her expression. "I know."

"It's- they must be wrong- or- they misunderstood it, or, or they're worrying too much, they're jumping the gun here. But we can't do that- we CAN'T! We're not- that's not going to happen," Buffy repeated, her voice dropping. She inhaled, her shoulders squaring, and repeated in a firmer tone, "It won't happen. I won't let it. We'll just have to keep that from being a problem… keep Glory from opening the orb at all."

"Yeah, of course," Faith nodded, her voice slightly hoarse, and then she cleared her throat, hardening her voice as well. "Yeah, it won't happen. No way would we ever let that fuckin' happen."

But as they continued to drive, they fell into a silence…for both were almost agonizing over what would happen, what they would possibly do if they were wrong.


	29. Chapter 29

Bonded

Chapter 29

"So…I'm not sure I understand what you're trying to tell me here," Ben said falteringly, his words slow, stunned, his face a mixing of confusion, shock, and incredulous disbelief as he looked about Glory's large apartment's living room to the four others with him. "You're trying to tell me that you- YOU, right now, right here- are a god?"

"That's right," Glory replied casually; she was standing before a mirror by her fireplace wall, adjusting herself in her tight black dress and running a hand through her wild blonde waves. Reaching nonchalantly down into the front of her dress, she extracted a red lipstick from her cleavage, beginning to apply it to her lips and pouting exaggeratedly for full effect.

Ben was still standing a distance apart from her, frowning heavily, his eyes darting; he was not tied or in any way restrained, nor was Dawn nearby, but then, there was little chance of them escaping. Glory was right there with them- and so were two of her gnome-like minions, anxiously watching the captive's every move.

"So you're…you say you're a god," Ben repeated, as if he just couldn't wrap his mind around the words. He shook his head, and Glory turned partly to look at him in annoyance, rolling her eyes.

"You're quick on the draw, aren't you?"

"And she's a key," he went on in the same tone, jerking his head toward Dawn, who was standing pale and wide-eyed a few feet away from him, her arms crossed tightly over her chest. "Not a person… not a girl…but a key… a key to some…hell dimension. Which is where you are from…"

"I AM a person!" Dawn spoke up hurriedly, almost panicked, yet offended as well as she looked over at Ben with her expression easily read. "I AM- I am a girl, I'm-"

"In form, sweetie, not reality," Glory interrupted, smirking with amusement. "What do you think about my shade of lipstick? Too bright, just right?"

"You're a god…" Ben repeated yet again, his voice dazed now as his incredulity began to give way to belief.

"Really now, is that so hard to believe?" Glory asked with an amused smirk as she gestured up and down herself. "Just look at me…not to mention that I just teleported you across town in two seconds flat. Think most humans could do that?"

Ben had to concede to that, of course. He didn't respond, however; instead he just shook his head again, running an absent-minded hand through his hair as his eyes continued to dart about without settling.

"You're a god, and you've been using me… you've been using my body. You've been in my body, been inside me, and I didn't even know it. I didn't KNOW-"

"Don't be too hard on yourself, you humans are incredibly dense when it comes to observations," Glory said dryly, rolling her eyes.

She turned abruptly toward her minions, who were standing in between Glory and Dawn, as if conveniently positioning themselves to lunge towards one or the other should the occasion call for it. Her face dropping into a scowl abruptly, she snapped at them with much more impatient irritation in her voice than before, "Why is Grak not here?! What could possibly be keeping him, I called him hours ago! And yet here I am, and here he ISN'T- where the hell is he, and how dare he think he can disobey my orders!"

"We- we don't know, your greatness," one of the creatures said humbly, his voice trembling slightly. "We have not heard from him, we have not seen him…"

"I-I'm sure he'll be here soon," the other tried fumblingly; both were cowered, making as if to take Glory's hand or perhaps kneel at her feet, but neither made more than half gestures to do so. "He-he could not deny your request, Glorificus- we are so honored to be in your presence, we could never wish-"

"Shut up already, I'm sick of your sniveling voices bleating at me," Glory interrupted sharply, glaring at them both before beginning to mock their tones. "'I'm sure they'll come, your greatness.' 'We love you so much, your greatness, I'm sure he'd never disobey you…' well, I'M sure that if he doesn't get his crinkly ass over here he's gonna be missing a brain- if he ever even had one in the first place!"

Ben barely seemed to have heard; despite multiple repetitions, he was still struggling with Glory's casual revelation as to the truth of his, her, and Dawn's identities. Fingers still half buried in his hair, he repeated with his face tightly strained, "And you use this key… you use Dawn… to open up some orb. So you can go home… to well then, what's the problem?"

"There is no problem," Glory said with definite annoyance in her voice now as she glanced over at him, still pulling at her dress. "I get to go home."

"Well then why are you kidnapping us? If she's this key- if that's what the key's for, to open orbs, then why not just use her and go home and be done with it and let her go? Why drag me into it? If it's just using a key, then why-"

"Because it will kill me, that's why…" Dawn spoke out suddenly, and her voice was louder than any of them had expected, fierce, her eye shining brightly with intense emotion and held back tears. She hugged herself tightly, setting her jaw as she fixed her eyes on Ben, and her voice shook slightly now as she went on, her shoulders hunching in on themselves. "It'll kill me… and the rest of the world too…"

Ben was staring, his mouth opening slightly, and he blinked, clearly taken aback by the young girl's words. He appeared unable to find his voice for several moments. Glory, however, had no such problems. She shrugged nonchalantly, entirely unbothered.

"Yep, your sisters don't like that, and they might speed up my needing to recharge in you, Ben-boy… hence the need for kidnapping. A lot of trouble, but I don't mind if I get what I want in the end… so, kid, how do I look? Ready for my big night?" she asked with careless unconcern, coming before Dawn and turning around model-style.

Dawn just swallowed; she wanted to close her eyes, to yell out something rude, but she knew she couldn't afford to make Glory angry. Still, no way would she compliment her like Glory expected…

Her heart was beating faster even than before with her anxiety, and she licked her lips, trying desperately to think of how to respond. But luckily, Ben saved her, for he was still unable to keep from voicing his disbelief.

"I can't believe this… this can't be happening. This is crazy…YOU'RE crazy…"

"Maybe," Glory said tersely, her hands going to her hips, "but I'm also kinda pissed, and I so shouldn't be on my special night! Where is Grak?! What the hell is taking him so long to get here?! I've been calling him and calling him, and he's STILL not here!"

As the two henchmen began to anxiously attempt to placate her again, succeeding only in annoying her further, Ben stood a distance apart, his face and muscles rigid, even as strong thought and emotion flickered rapidly in his eyes. Dawn watched him almost furtively, wanting to come closer to him but not quite daring to do so. She was hoping to see in Ben's face a flicker of a decision, a sudden understanding, that would give her hope, give her reason to be able to trust that he would be stronger and more capable in their situation than she was. But so far she had seen nothing…nothing but anger and stress, disbelief and shock, fear and helpless thought…

For the past hour as she listened to Glory's careless explanation to Ben after he had finally regained consciousness, watched her patter about preparing herself for the events that lay ahead, Dawn had been praying hard for something to step in, something that would stop this. She had hoped at first that she could escape, but with those creatures there, and Glory… Dawn remembered how easily Glory had tossed everyone around, even her sister and Faith, and she would never forget the sight of her mother's body on the wet kitchen floor. Then she had hoped that Ben would help…but now that too seemed like an almost entirely useless hope.

She was still hoping, of course… surely her sister would come and save her, along with Faith and all the others. Surely she would… Buffy had never let an evil being win over her for long before. Any minute they would come crashing into Glory's apartment- and why a hell god needed a cushy apartment like a human, Dawn didn't know- along with all the others. Any minute they would come and save her… she just had to wait, that was all. She just had to stay strong, stay as far away from Glory and those ugly things with her as she could, and then they would come and save her, and it would be okay, it would be-

But despite what she tried to tell herself, how she tried to reassure herself, Dawn couldn't' help but fear that they wouldn't. It had been a while now since she hadn't been taken, a very, very long while… hours has passed, and still they had not come. True, Glory had been moving her all around town, probably in a deliberate attempt to keep them from finding them. But they had been at her apartment for a few hours now, surely, and still they had not come…

Thinking of the others, especially her sister and Faith, who might as well be her sister now (well, as long as you didn't think about how touchy-feely they were, because that made the whole Faith-is-my-sister thing just disturbing), Dawn found herself brought closer and closer to the brink of tears. Her eyes were hot with the effort of trying to hold them back…

She wanted them with her so badly…not just to save her, but simply because she wanted them, needed them there with her. She was glad to have Ben, of course, for she did still like him, and it was definitely better to be kidnapped with him than to be kidnapped alone. But in a way she was also disappointed. She would have hoped that Ben could help her, reassure her, make her feel less afraid… maybe even help think of a way they could stop this, a way they could escape. But he seemed as confused and helpless as she was…really, even more so than she was.

She wanted Buffy and Faith, wanted all of them so badly she was shaking with the intensity of her desire. Dawn could not remember a time she had felt so small and insignificant, so utterly helpless and useless…even as her very existence threatened the entire world.

She would never want to kill herself now, loved her family and friends too much, was too afraid of the unknown to ever try again. But deep down Dawn still felt that she did not deserve to be alive, that it would be in everyone's best interest for her to die. There would be no longer even a possibility of a threat, for she could not be used by Glory. They would find some way to kill Glory or capture her somewhere, and that would be the end of it. Sure, everyone would be upset for a while, but they'd get over it. They had survived the death of Joyce Summers… why not that of Dawn Summers, especially if it were to save the world?

But even the thought of this terrified Dawn, set her heart racing and stomach churning. She knew she could never kill herself now… she was too selfish, too much of a coward.

God…what if they weren't coming because they were too hurt, because they couldn't? Dawn had been taken so quickly after Glory had thrown everyone around the room she hadn't even had a chance to see if everyone was all right. What if they were really hurt- what if they-

No, she couldn't think that, she couldn't believe it… they had to be okay, they had to be looking for her. They'd be there any day now, and it would be okay, it WOULD be.

Dawn knew how upset they all must be…and how angry too. She wouldn't be surprised at all if there HAD been a casualty, as long as her name was Anya. Dawn could barely believe what Anya had done, that it was because of her that she was now with Glory… but at the same time she had expected it in a way. She had always feared that somehow this would happen, no matter what any of them did to stop it.

And as much as she wanted to, Dawn really couldn't hate Anya for what she had done. She knew how the other girl was with Xander, knew how blunt and impulsive she was…and she knew that Anya understood about Glory maybe more than anyone, and so had all the more reason to fear her. She hated Anya in a way, and yet, she understood her… and after all, it didn't matter now. There was no undoing what she had done.

But god, she hoped Buffy would come soon…please…

She realized suddenly that Ben was watching her, and as Dawn turned to look at him, there was a very strange expression on his face… an expression that made her stomach twist in a dread she did not fully understand.

"So I'm going to die," he said slowly, and there was a flat quality to his voice that made Dawn swallow in deepening discomfort. "The whole world is going to die…"

"Pretty much, yeah…unless someone offs this one first, before I can get to her," Glory said casually, flicking a hand in Dawn's direction without looking at her. "But even if I'd ever let that happen, which I so wouldn't, no one would even be able to bring themselves to do it. She's just too cute!" she said in a mock baby tone, grinning at Dawn as she went over to her and pinched her cheek. "Plus I need her, and that overrules everything. No one's laying a hand on the kid… except me, of course."

Ben didn't' say anything to contradict her…but as Dawn looked over at him again, searching his face with some anxiety, there was still a strangeness in his expression. There was an odd disconnection, a hardness that made Dawn almost as frightened as the thoughts that she was now trying to suppress. He couldn't really be thinking…no…

Glory looked at him sharply too then, her eyes narrowing in suspicion, and she went over to him quickly, snatching him by the arm.

"I don't know what you're thinking, but wipe it out of your head right now, 'cause it's not gonna happen, you got that? No one's gonna screw with my plans, least of all the kid who's just a vessel for me. I think you need to spend some time alone, think about what a bad boy you've been…"

She yanked him towards her bathroom, shutting the door and shoving a table in front of it before he could get back out. Turning back to Dawn and going to saunter up beside her again, she smiled with her eyebrows slightly raised.

"Don't worry kid, I'll keep you safe…for a little while, anyway."

She grinned at her, cocking her head towards the bathroom door. "Don't worry about him, he thinks he can get one over on me, and he's got another thing coming. You're not gonna have anyone hurt you for now…"

Dawn was not reassured…for she had heard the assurance that it was only now that she would not be hurt. As she stared at Glory, trying to keep back tears, stop her shivering, Glory slipped an arm around her shoulders, only worsening it.

"Come on, let's get you changed into something better, something pretty…you'd like that, wouldn't you? And then we can anoint you before we go…"


	30. Chapter 30

Bonded

Chapter 30

Author note: So sorry this is taking so long to put up…EXTREMELY busy with work, school, volunteering, personal life, etc…I'm still writing every other day at least, but finding time to type is becoming an issue. I will definitely finish this though…still working on it…

Even at the speed they were going, it took Buffy and Faith a few hours to reach the city limits of LaMorte. It didn't help, of course, that Faith sped right past two of the exits, meaning that each time, accompanied by furious, frustrated swearing that would have stunned a truck driver, she had to drive almost thirty extra miles before she found a place to turn around and get back to the right exit. Other than that flurry of fevered profanities, however, there had been almost total silence between them…grim, anxious silence.

Buffy was very worried about Faith, nearly as much as she was Dawn. She knew how strongly the other girl's emotions ran, knew how tenuously in control of herself she must be. She still remembered the look in Faith's eyes after she had killed Glory's minion, her voice when she had told Buffy what Giles had told her. She knew that Faith was barely hanging onto calm, and it only made Buffy feel her own fear even more strongly. It was past eleven pm, Christmas Day was approaching, and she knew their time and chances to stop Glory before she ever started were running out… and her doubts were only increasing.

What if they couldn't get there in time? Or even worse, what if they did, but it wasn't enough? What if they couldn't stop Glory? What if she just broke their necks and was done with it? What if there was nothing they could do, no way they could stop it…

Try as she might to convince herself that this was not a possibility, Buffy knew that it was. She knew also that Faith knew that it was… and in fact, it might even be a probability.

As they drove without speaking, Buffy badly wanted to reach out to Faith, to physically touch her and hold her, even if it were only her hand. She wanted to tell Faith how much she loved her, how glad she was to have her in her life, to have her battling for not only the world, but her sister, at her side. If this was her last day on earth, she didn't want to leave it without Faith knowing how much she loved her.

But to say any of that would be to acknowledge that it might be, and neither of them could bring themselves to do that. So they continued to sit in heavy quiet, their minds held captive by racing thought…

Buffy had called Giles several times to make sure they were all headed in the right direction, and to make sure he had found no further information they needed to know. It was on one of these phone calls that Buffy discovered that not only was Giles only a few cars behind them, but also that Xander was in the car with them…Xander, and Anya.

Apparently, Anya had refused to go to a hospital for more than a few hours and stay there, and she had refused to be left alone anywhere, so terrified was she that the end of the world was coming and she would die by herself. So through humble supplication and no shortage of anger directed towards her, Xander had managed to convince Giles to allow her to sit in his lap on the way over and to remain locked in the car when they reached LaMorte. Though Anya was bandaged and had her bones reset, she was still bruised and broken, and Buffy could only imagine the horrible awkward coldness of the other car, and the way Anya must only be making it worse.

Buffy didn't know why Anya had insisted on coming, why she wasn't fearing for her life among all of them after what she had done. And when this was over, when she had the luxury of thinking of how to kill Anya herself, the ex-vengeance demon just better gain back enough of her senses to make herself scarce.

She didn't tell Faith that Anya was riding with the others. She simply didn't see the point in that. It would only enrage her, distract her from the mission that lay ahead of them, and Faith didn't need anything else to worry about. Buffy had been furious too when Giles first told her, but she had told herself that right now, Anya was not important. Dawn was what was important, Glory was what was important…and Giles's priorities must have been similar, for he had not thrown Anya out on her ass. Of course, he probably hadn't said more than a sentence to her, but that was more control than either of the Slayers could have managed.

At last they were reaching the city of LaMorte, however, and Buffy noticed Faith sitting up straighter, even as something shifted oddly in her features. Buffy turned to see Giles's car a distance behind, following them, but no measure of relief came. It was past eleven thirty now, such a very short time…

After several miles they could see it even from a great distance, what could be nothing other than the tower Giles had described. Buffy's heart clinched in her chest when she saw it… was Dawn up there right now, being prepared for Glory's ritual? It had to be at least 15 stories tall, taller than anything in the rest of the town… how could they get up there fast enough without being stopped? How-

She had little time to dwell on it, for before long, Faith was pulling up to the tower, Giles right behind her. As she and Faith got out of the car hurriedly, Giles and the others, with the exception of Anya, were climbing out too, their eyes scanning up the tower and around its grounds quickly. Faith didn't seem to notice Anya sitting in the back of Giles's car, but then, there were other things occupying her mind. There were two of Glory's henchmen on the ground at the base of the tower, seemingly guarding the tower steps, and Buffy could make out three figures on the tower's walkway… Dawn, along with Glory, and what seemed to be Ben. Glory and Ben were moving around rapidly, and it looked to her almost like they were fighting…could that really be?

All of this occupied her thoughts- but so did two of the four figures emerging from the van. For there were four females rather than two, and Xander and Giles seemed to have been replaced by two girls who looked exactly like Faith and Buffy.

Both girls did a double take, their minds momentarily diverted from Dawn on the tower- how could they really be seeing this, they must have finally cracked…

As usual, Faith was the first to blurt out exactly what she was thinking- and as usual, that was uncensored and not exactly tactfully put.

"What the fuck is this?! What the hell-"

"I assure you that this is to your benefit, and to lower your voice would be as well," the one who looked like Buffy said, and though the person was using Buffy's voice, it was undoubtedly Giles speaking. A very weird, unsettling thing that, in spite of the urgency of the situation, made both girls, particularly Buffy, jump slightly again and continue staring. "A simple glamour, neither Xander nor I appear- or feel- as if we have your bodies to ourselves, only those around us-"

"Unfortunately," Xander couldn't resist adding in what sounded like Faith's husky voice, his slight yet tensed grin looking odd on her face.

One glare from Giles using Buffy's features brought him into instant quiet; Buffy saw Faith glance at Xander again, no doubt wondering what he was doing here and where Anya was, but just as quickly she dismissed it as unimportant. They had less than twenty minutes until midnight- and though Glory seemed too preoccupied on the tower to yet have noticed them, or at least paid them much mind, her minions on the ground were watching…

"We will serve as a distraction, Xander and I, as well as a help. We will handle the two on the ground, and Buffy, Faith, you make your way up the tower to Dawn and Glory. Tara and Willow have already cast a spell on you to put a shroud around you both- right now, Glory and the minions cannot see you, and so will think Xander and I to be you. If you can just delay Glory long enough past midnight…"

He didn't finish…he didn't have to. Everyone knew without him saying what could happen. He and Xander, she and Faith, they might be able to keep Dawn from being used by Glory… they might be able to save the world. But that didn't mean they'd be able to save themselves afterward while facing Glory's wrath…

Looking at Giles, Buffy knew they were no closer to knowing how to kill Glory, even without him saying so. Weeks of research, weeks of searching and studying and translating, and now here they were, on the very eve of an apocalypse… and nothing. The only way they knew of would be to kill an innocent- a man who had helped save Dawn's life.

Could she do it? If it came down to it, within the next few minutes, could Buffy do it- could she kill Ben, to save the world? What if she did save the world- what if she delayed Glory until it was too late to use Dawn, until her key status had become void? Could she kill Ben then, simply to save her sister?

To save the world was an option that made Buffy pause… but as her mind skipped on to the next option, she hardened her resolve. To save the world she had to think about… to save her sister, though? She was positive.

Giles was speaking again now, Buffy's voice coming from him low and intense, and Buffy listened rapidly, assessing the scene. Beside her Faith was squirming, so anxious to go forward she was already edging away. Buffy was just shocked that she hadn't already left, starting making her way up the tower on her own recklessly.

"Take these," Giles told them, shoving heavy, hammer-like weapons into their arms. "These have been affected with the same invisibility spell and are troll hammers. I managed to acquire them through no small difficulty. They are quite heavy and so may temporarily injure Glory in some way- just be careful not to be on their receiving ends yourselves. As Xander and I distract those down there, you and Faith make your way to the tower, Buffy. Willow and Tara will stay here and perform spells to strengthen us all, to heal and add power to our attacks, as well as to attack Glory in every way they can. You do all you can to distract Glory up there away from Dawn… try not to get too close to her too often though, it's…quite a fall. And do take care…"

He said no more for a few moments, his expression on Buffy's face grim. When he did go on, his voice through hers had an odd quiet quality to it.

"Take care of Ben as well, if able…I trust your judgement."

Looking into his eyes, her eyes, really, Buffy knew what he was saying… what he was not saying as well. She nodded quickly, a momentary grief passing through her eyes, before she steeled herself once more. Beside her she could see Faith doing the same and knew how things had changed now for the both of them. The chips had fallen… all they could do now was do their best to keep them from being broken down even further.

"All right then…let's go."

Willow and Tara joined hands, staring up at the tower as their eyes went dark. Buffy, Faith, and Xander and Giles in their matching bodies and outfits turned and ran to the foot of the tower, as somewhere a distance back, a physically and emotionally hurting Anya sat up anxiously, her face pressed against the window of the back of the car as she tried to make out which Faith was her lover.

The minions startled at their sudden running charge; they didn't see Buffy and Faith, but they did see Xander and Giles looking like Buffy and Faith. The men began to attack, with fists and feet as much as weapons…and the minions defended themselves, striking back. Buffy and Faith began to make their way rapidly toward the tower steps. It wasn't Christmas yet, for now, Dawn was still okay as far as they could see… for now they had time… and this was their only comfort, the repeated mantra in their minds as they ran, that Dawn was still safe.


	31. Chapter 31

Bonded

Chapter 31

From the top of the tower Dawn shivered, her bare arms in Glory's too-large dress erupting in goosebumps in the December night's cool air. She could feel her teeth trying not to chatter, the cold dampness of the tears drying on her cheeks, and she despaired that these would be her last moments on earth. That this day, of all days, would be her last day on earth…

Glory had teleported her and Ben here nearly twenty minutes ago, after finally releasing Ben from the bathroom. She had dressed Dawn in one of her own dresses, one much too big for her that have her little warmth and made her feel very small and exposed. She had anointed her forehead with something sooty and tied her up, keeping her on the edge of the tower..but not close enough to fall or to jump. Two options Dawn had considered…

Dawn was scared, so scared she could barely put thought to it. Of course, she had always known, ever since that time nearly months ago when she first overheard Buffy and Faith speak about she was, that this eventually happening was a possibility. She had known that this was what Glory wanted, what she had intended, and that she would do all she could with her considerable power to make sure she could have it. And yet somehow Dawn had never truly thought this would happen. She had feared it… but somehow she had never truly thought this would happen. She had feared it…but somehow she had never truly believed it…

She had thought that Buffy, as always, would be able to stop it. Buffy had always saved her- always saved everybody before… so why would she, Dawn, be any different? If Buffy wanted to… if Buffy tried…

But Buffy HAD wanted to, Buffy HAD tried…and yet here was Dawn, standing on this tower with a hell god on the dawning of Christmas Day… and there seemed no possible escape in sight. Dawn had never thought this possible…she should have known that it was.

They had stayed at Glory's apartment until some time after eleven pm. During that time Glory had only put herself inside Ben to recharge once, but probably long enough to sufficiently strengthen herself for the remainder of the night. Around eleven Glory had teleported her, Ben, and he two seemingly slaves to the tower, still fuming about the fact that one of them was missing. Ever since she had seemed very preoccupied, fixing everything so that it was exactly to her liking…

She had Dawn tied up in a very particular way, careful markings drawn on her forehead, and placed in an exact location on the tower. For a while now she had been talking to herself out loud, configuring how to do whatever it was she would be doing to destroy Dawn. She seemed to be growing more excited, and yet more impatient, as time wore on, her eyes sparking in a way that only further intensified Dawn's fear. She was keeping an eye on Ben too, making sure he stayed closer to her than to Dawn.

Ever since Glory had mentioned to Ben that he would not die should Dawn be killed first, he had been acting increasingly strangely. Dawn didn't like it at all… he was watching her even as he kept a distance, did not push Glory's deliberately-placed space between them… but there was an odd glittering quality to his eyes, a tense watchful tautness of his face, that made Dawn even more nervous than she had been before. The look in his eyes, the demeanor he was giving off, had not changed despite the time he had spent in the bathroom alone… or maybe because of it. Maybe in separating Ben from Dawn, from herself, Glory had only given him more time and space to think along the same line of thought…

Dawn could not convince herself any longer that he did not also wish to harm her, if for an entirely different reason from Glory's… and the thing was, she couldn't even blame him. It was true… her death would solve a lot of problems. She knew Ben wasn't a bad or cruel person, that he didn't personally wish her harm… he just didn't want to die. His course of thought was logical… but the glint in his eyes, the stillness of his form, made Dawn fear that he was edging towards desperation, maybe even insanity.

It didn't occur to Dawn that it was not only her own death that would save the world… it didn't occur to her that the man whose life she had pleaded for now appeared to be more than willing not to preserve her own. In her own fright and growing desperation, the only person that came to mind as a solution to all that was going on, as well as a cause, was her own self.

Time was passing, and Glory's movements and mutterings had stilled, as had her fussing with Dawn's arrangement. She seemed confident now, ready to begin whatever it was she would do…and still Buffy was not here, still she was gone. Maybe she wasn't going to come at all… maybe she couldn't, maybe she didn't know where she was. What if Buffy really wasn't going to come, if Dawn's very last and most fervent hope was not going to occur? What if she was really going to die up here tonight… what if this was the last day on earth for everyone, and they were all sleeping in their beds, not knowing that it was an apocalypse and not Santa Claus coming tonight…

No, she couldn't think that… this was not it, it couldn't be it, not yet! Ben was still here… Ben was untied, just in case Glory needed to hop back into him again, Dawn assumed at least. She knew he wasn't a bad man, knew he had liked her once. Hadn't he helped her in the hospital? Hadn't he been nice to her, even stuck up for her against her mother and Buffy? Maybe it wasn't too late, maybe she could get through to him. Maybe she could get him to help her… maybe he could get her out of this, somehow get her-

And Glory couldn't harm Ben, not too badly anyway, she couldn't kill him right now, Dawn thought, growing more hopeful and excited at the idea. She had to keep him alive in case she needed to go into his body again… that was the whole reason he was there with them, to be close to Glory. Maybe she could get him to help her somehow, somehow outsmart Glory. Maybe-

It wasn't a very practical plan, but Dawn didn't notice or care. It was a plan, period, it gave her some sort of hope, and that was something she sorely needed.

She caught Ben's eye with her own, trying to convey to him a pleading, an urgency for him to help her. She dared not speak out loud, for as preoccupied as Glory was, and as often as she suspiciously looked down off the tower to make sure no one was coming, she would undoubtedly still hear Dawn if Dawn spoke to him. So Dawn put all the thought and emotion she could into her eyes, hoping it was clearly conveyed to Ben, hoping he would understand and be able to come up with some kind of plan.

It was a long stretch… even if by some amazing stroke of luck Ben did understand and decide to help rather than harm her, even if he did manage to get her untied and off the tower, there was still two of Glory's little stoolies on the tower floor. Not to mention that they had no transportation and neither had a clue where they were.

But Dawn didn't consider this. She just signaled Ben with her eyes, hoping he would somehow understand…

And for a while she thought he didn't. His eyes narrowed, a crease forming in his brow… and when he turned his head, Dawn's stomach sank. He didn't get it… he didn't understand, he wasn't going to…

But then suddenly he was springing upon Glory, catching her so suddenly off guard that he was able to snatch the long, twisted sacrificial dagger she had with her from the inside of her satin robe… and as she shrieked in startled outrage, he somehow managed to evade her attempts to grasp him, running swiftly to Dawn's side.

When he first did this, Dawn's heart leapt with excitement…for she was sure that Ben was going to use the knife to cut the ropes Glory had tied about her. She was sure he was going to release her, save her…

But no… for quite suddenly Ben's arms were wrapped roughly around her, holding her even more immobile than she had been. And the knife in his hand was not being used to cut her ropes… instead, he was holding it to her throat, the blade pressed threateningly into her skin.

Dawn's eyes grew huge with her shock and horror… for this had not been at all what she had hoped. She didn't dare move, scarcely dared to breathe, for fear of what it might cost her.

"No," she started to plead, her voice higher, much less firm than she would have liked. "No Ben, don't, please, don't-"

"Let us go, Glory!" Ben shouted over top her words, holding her even more roughly as he glared at the hell god's livid features. "Let us go, or I'll slit her throat, right here, right now!"

And hearing the fierceness of his tone, Dawn knew with growing fear he meant it. He would really do this… to save himself, to save the world, he would really do this…

Dawn could feel a tremor spread through her, and she was too afraid to even cry. She was vividly aware of the cold sharpness of the knife against her throat, of the strong hands holding it there, and all coherent thought fled her mind.

Glory seemed nearly as horrified as she was…her eyes widened, her features tightening with stunned indignation and outrage. She started towards them quickly, but not too quickly, lest he attack as he had threatened to.

"Give that to me right now! You're not going to touch her, you wouldn't dare-"

"Oh yeah?" Ben challenged, his voice rising, and he tightened his hold on Dawn even further, to the point where she gasped in pain and shocked betrayal. "Looks like I already did dare, Glory… in fact, looks like I still am…"

He pressed the knife slightly more against Dawn's flesh, just hard enough to raise a small cut, a slight bit of blood. Dawn cried out, her irises dilating in fear, for at the first sting of pain she had been certain he would kill her. If possible, Glory panicked even further. Her eyes bulged, and she screeched at him with an alarm not usually found in her voice or expression.

"You can't do that! Get the hell away from her, don't you dare, or I'll-"

"You'll what?" Ben said coldly, and there was a hissing, vicious note to his voice Dawn had never heard before, one that frightened her nearly as much as his hold of her, as the knife at her throat. For if he could sound this way as well as carry out these actions…

"You can't harm me, Glory… by your very words, if you harm me, you harm YOU. You need me here, you can't jump into the key, can you? It's not real, it's not a real person with its very own life force. It's borrowed… and there's no one else around. If you kill me, what's to say YOU will survive?"

He jerked his head toward Dawn, smirking…for he had here there and he knew it. He could not be killed by her, or even hurt too badly, for then Glory herself would suffer the consequences. But Dawn, on the other hand…

"But this one… what's to stop me from hurting her? How do you think you can make me? If you don't' step aside and let me go-"

But Glory, despite her fear, was having none of this. She was hardly used to being ordered around, much less by a human who merely served as her vessel, and she wasn't about to start now.

She appeared at Ben's side in a split second, having teleported rather than walked or run there. Brutally she pried his arms away from her, prying the knife as well, and shoved him hard to the floor as she examined Dawn with anxious eyes, ascertaining that she was still okay.

"Wasting blood, how dare you waste her blood like that!" she hissed as she dabbed at Dawn's throat with her sleeve, seeming to be desiring to somehow magically replace in her the blood that had been spilled, regardless of the small amount. "You traitorous little fool, do you really think you can-"

But Ben had not yet given up. From the ground he was pulling at Dawn's ankles, trying to pull her away from Glory's grasp. When Glory kicked him in the thigh, Dawn heard his breath suck in painfully, but he still managed to feebly pull himself to a standing position, launching himself at Glory and trying in every conceivable way to wound her and tear Dawn away. Of course he was unsuccessful; but neither did she simply throw him off the tower or break his neck, as she would have any other. She couldn't with him, and that was his advantage- and Dawn's.

Glory was trying to keep shaking him off her without hurting him too badly, without knocking him out or dealing him broken bones. For at this late stage in the game, Dawn realized, it would not be good if Glory needed to recharge in Ben's body and he was unconscious when this occurred. This actually seemed harder for her to attempt than if she had simply killed him outright. And Ben seemed determined to make it even more difficult for her. Driven by what seemed a nearly insanely desperate impulse, he continued to throw himself at her in what he must have known to be a futile effort to really injure her.

But despite his ineffectiveness, his constant contact with her was forcing Glory's attention off of Dawn, forcing it off everything going on around her… and that was what eventually helped them. For it was while they were so distracted with one another that Dawn saw them, past Glory's shoulder, on the ground. She was too high up to see their faces clearly, but she didn't need to. She knew it was them… it was Buffy. Buffy, and Faith, and all the others… they had come for her. They had finally come…

Dawn's heart began to race, and she could barely keep herself from screaming Buffy's name, drawing her sister's attention to her. She could see the group gathered down there, but it was strange…she didn't see Giles or Xander anywhere, and there seemed to be not one, but two, of both her sister and Faith. Or at least there were two females with them other than Willow and Tara who looked strikingly similar to them from a distance…

For a few moments Dawn's anxiety increased considerably. What if they weren't really here at all, what if she wanted them so desperately that she was hallucinating? What if in all actuality those were entirely different people, or not there, or else-

But they were… they had to be. Somehow Dawn just knew they were… somehow she could feel it…it was them. They were here, they were going to help her.

She still didn't understand why there seemed to be two Buffy's and Faith's, but when one pair ran to fight Glory's minions at the base of tower and the others began to ascend the steps up the tower, Dawn knew it didn't matter. They were real, they were here…and they were going to stop Glory…

It took only a few minutes of Ben's distracting Glory for them to arrive, only a few moments to them starting to get into action before she noticed- but those were minutes and moments that gave them a sorely needed head start.

While up on the tower, Glory had not been watching the ground below her. She felt little need to- after all, it was so close to the time of her ritual, and the Slayers had seemed so clueless, so powerless to stop her. She had focused all her energy and attention on what was happening atop the tower- namely, that she could perfectly carry out her ritual, and that neither Ben nor Dawn would be able to interfere.

And so because of this, when Ben desperately began to do all he could to divert her attention, to force her to stop preparing for her ritual and to focus on him and Dawn and their continued well-being, Glory had become even more solely focused on what was happening on the tower's heights. She didn't at first notice the others' arrivals…

But when she glanced at Dawn rapidly, the younger Summers girl was unable to conceal in time the wild hope and excitement in her eyes…and that was, of course, enough to immediately rouse Glory's suspicions. Whirling about hurriedly, her eyes fell to the ground and the activities taking place there, and shock and anger burned brightly in her eyes.

"Slayers," she hissed, her eyes on the two fighting her brown-robed servants on the ground and skipping back past them to take in the chanting, black-eyed Willow and Tara behind them. She did not notice Buffy and Faith, the real Buffy and Faith, running up the stairs of the tower, but then, that was expected, given the spell of concealment…

"Slayers," she repeated, and her words dropped lower and more hateful than ever. "You are SO dead…"

Ben had been grappling to seize her knife, though he was weakened, in pain, his body aching and bruising from even Glory's comparably light treatment of him. Her face growing taut with rage, Glory seized him once more, teleporting him down to the base of the tower. She shoved him away from her harshly, knocking him down to the floor but not unconscious, so that the wind was knocked out of him. For a few moments her eyes darted about in indecisive need and desire for vengeance, wanting to hurt all those trying so valiantly around her, hurt them badly…and then, but only after hurting them, to kill them.

But it was so close to time now, so very close, and she had not even called up the necessary orb…she should be with the key, she should be guarding it. Let the others keep trying, let them remain unharmed for the moment… they would be punished much more gloriously than she currently had time for when she opened the orbs and could go home. See how they liked it when their tiny, unbearable little world was destroyed… see how they liked it when they melted and stretched and merged with everything and everyone in the universe…

And besides, they all seemed pretty occupied for now. The stupid witches with their spells, and the Slayers, extremely ineffectively fighting Jinx and Dreg down there. They would never be able to kill them AND get up the tower in time… and didn't those stupid little girls know better than to do spells on her? Clearly they weren't working…

Thus confident with herself and secure in her soon-to-be-had victory, Glory teleported back to Dawn on the tower. Stroking her hair back with a gentleness that clashed with the vicious glee of her eyes, she spoke to her softly, triumphantly.

"I told you I'd keep you safe…"

Staying close to her, Glory began to chant out loud with a deliberate, purposely tone…and before Dawn's widening, newly terror stricken eyes, she could see a slowly swirling mass of air and energy begin to form itself in the sky.


	32. Chapter 32

Bonded

Chapter 32

On the tower's base, a mass of activity continued to carry out vigorously as Buffy and Faith, shielded from Glory's eyes by Willow and Tara's spell, continued up the long flights of steps as fast as they could while also carrying heavy weapons. Xander and Giles, using the appearance, if not also sharing the power and strength of the slayers, continued to fight Glory's creatures on the floor. They were careful to fight without actually killing them, for they wanted to distract them from the real Slayers ascending the stairs, as well as convince Glory that they were preoccupied, unable to get to Dawn.

Several feet away Tara and Willow continued to hold hands, eyes dark, the air crackling around them with their continued magic. They were performing other spells in conjunction with the one to shroud the Slayers- one's to enhance strength and endurance, speed and reflexes, to make more deadly their weapons and more aware their senses. Only Anya, watching anxiously from the car, and Dawn, still tied up on the tower's platform, remained inactive.

Where Glory had thrust Ben to the ground, Ben lay for several moments, trying to get his breath back. Eventually, still aching, his lungs drawing breath only painfully, he got to his feet, eyes wild, darting about in near panic. Stumbling slightly, he approached where Xander and Giles, who appeared to him to be Buffy and Faith, of course, were still fending off Jinx and Dreg, backing up and allowing them to strike at them almost as much as they themselves were striking. His breath coming in harsh near gasps, Ben yelled out at them, doing everything save waving his arms to get their attention.

"Dawn…you have to get to Dawn, you have to stop this! Stop this, we have to kill her! She's the key…she'll destroy…."

But Giles and Xander, in his eyes, the Slayers, ignored him, didn't seem to even hear him…and in spite of Ben's yelling, it was entirely possible that they hadn't. They weren't exactly fighting Glory's minions in silence, after all… they were darting and dodging with grunts and short cries, striking out at them and avoiding retaliating blows. For as feeble as they looked and as submissively as they behaved before Glory, the creatures had a strength all on their own when tested and were not shy in displaying it now.

They also apparently, perhaps through Glory's bond of telepathy of a sort, had ability to teleport, which they exploited shamelessly while battling what they thought to be the Slayers. The two shimmered out of reach, behind and to the sides, making Giles and Xander chase them in what must have been a very frustrating endeavor. All in all they were occupying the men's constant attention, and Ben could see that the two he thought to be the Slayers- to be Dawn's sisters, rather, in his own knowledge- despite their startling skill in battle and seeming ease at accepting what was going on, would not be killing anything but Glory's henchmen.

Stunned, frantic, Ben's eyes skipped up to the top of the tower, but he knew there was no way he'd be able to get up there in time. No way…

Suddenly his eyes widened, for he now noticed an odd mass slowly developing in the sky…a cloud, almost, a cloud that had started out about the size of a baseball. It was growing, expanding in diameter and circumference. The dark night sky seemed to be lightening, an energy crackling through the air that chilled Ben, made his mouth go dry with dread.

The orb… the orb Glory had been talking about, her path home and their path to destruction. She must be calling up the orb…

Ben's eyes darted past Xander and Giles to take in Willow and Tara a few yards away, and he stumbled over to them as fast as he could, trying desperately to gain their attention. It was clear from their joined hands and moving lips, the set paleness of their faces and darkness in their eyes, not to mention the odd heaviness of the air surrounding them, that they were doing magic of some kind, perhaps possessed powers not unlike Glory's. Normally this wold be enough to stun Ben, scare him away from them, in a flurry of horrified unbelief. But he remembered these girls coming to see Dawn in the hospital, how loving and concerned they had seemed… and he was desperate. There were no other chances, no one else was around- and maybe they could teleport too…

"You have to stop this, she's going to kill me, she's going to kill us all!" he shouted, all too ware of the orb so high above him, growing slowly… "you have to stop her, you have to kill her- you have to kill Dawn! Someone has to kill Dawn or we're all going to die!"

Willow and Tara did not respond, and the very focused, yet very distant look of their eyes told Ben with an increasingly sick sensation that they too were unaware of his presence. He screamed at them again, though he dared not touch them, for fear of what disrupting their magic might do to them. The girls had indeed seen the orb and were attempting one of several spells used to close things mystically; they were putting all focus and concentration into it and had essentially blocked out all else of their awareness.

Ben, however, could not know this, and he saw only that they were ignoring him too. Finally giving up after increasingly loud and panicked yells, he finally began to back away, his head reeling with horror and shocked unacceptance. This could not be happening… it simply couldn't be…

He dared not look up at the tower again, nor his watch, so terrified was he at what he might see. Instead he cast his eyes about him wildly, trying to think of something- anything- he could do to stop this. There had to be- he couldn't die. He just couldn't- he couldn't accept that he was just going to die…

It was then that Ben's eyes came to rest on Giles's car. He didn't notice Anya inside it, her face pressed up against the window…his mind only registered that there was a car, and that there could therefore possibly be a venue of escape for him.

Ben began to make his way over to the car as rapidly as he could, an endeavor that in his mind took far too long to accomplish. He reached the driver's side of the car and tried to open it hurriedly, only to find that Anya had locked all the doors- as if that could keep her safe from an apocalypse. As Ben shouted for her to open the door, Anya hesitated at first, her eyes going anxiously to the spreading orb in the sky…but eventually she fumbled for the lock and let him in. As Ben slid behind the wheel, looking around frantically for any keys, Anya's hand closed tightly around the knife she had been left with, her face pale and strained.

"It's coming, I can see it's coming, but I can't see what's going on up the tower, it's too far up!" she started babbling immediately, her voice shrill and anxious with fear. "Has Glory cut her yet? Are we dying? What time is it? Oh god, we're dying, right now, we're going to die-"

"Where are the keys?!" Ben yelled, his hands scrabbling about the seat and floor fervently. "We've got to get out of here, give me the keys!"

"Are you crazy?! We can't drive away from the end of the world!" Anya almost screeched, her eyes bulging slightly. "We're going to DIE! We're going to die… god this isn't FAIR! I'm supposed to be immortal, I'm supposed to live forever! I don't want to die-"

"Someone should have killed her!" Ben raged, and the wild, sudden fury in his voice, his expression, silenced Anya, made her look at him furtively. "I tried, but it was too late- someone should have killed her, there's no time now! She's not even a person, not really… someone should have killed her, and now we all have to pay…"

Anya nodded miserably, agreeing even as her own guilt lit itself in her eyes, and her hand unconsciously tightened even more on her knife.

"I know," she replied anxiously, her voice so tight it was barely understandable. "And neither of them will do it, what if-"

"She should have been dead long ago!" Ben raged, slamming his hand down on the dashboard. "For the sakes of us all, she should have been dead…"

"The Slayers, always the stupid Slayers… okay, so I told Glory she was the key, but I didn't MEAN to, and she would have killed Xander, she would've killed us all, and then she would've killed Dawn, so really I SAVED Dawn, at least-"

"Slayers?" Ben said quizzically, momentarily distracted, but Anya kept going.

"But even if they stop her, which they probably wouldn't, even if they kill Dawn, they still can't kill Glory…well, they could, but they won't, because they're stupid humans with stupid laws about killing-"

Suddenly her eyes widened, and she stopped talking, looking at Ben with an expression he didn't understand… an odd hope mixed with a near viciousness he didn't like or understand at all.

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As Buffy and Faith, shrouded from sight of Glory and her two followers by the invisibility spell, continued to dart up the tower's steps, they were nearly entirely unaware of the occurrences on t ground. Their focus was on each step before them, on what lay ahead of them at the tower's top. They did not even notice when Glory teleported to the ground with Ben and then back up without him… their eyes were narrowly fixed on the landing at the top of the tower stairs. It was as if they were afraid that by taking their eyes off of the landing, they were sure to make it such that they would never reach it at all.

Even though her vision was narrowly upon this, however, Buffy was also very aware of Faith a step behind her, of her breathing and movement, the way her steps seemed in sync with her own. Without seeing Faith beyond out the corner of her eye, without touching or speaking to her, she still felt strongly connected to her in a wordless way that surpassed either Slayer's ability to explain- that surpassed even the bonds of Slayerhood. In the same way, though from her position she could not even see Dawn, Buffy felt connected to her in a way every bit as much as she did to Faith. She could almost feel Dawn near her, feel her fear… and had she asked Faith, Faith would have had to admit that she too felt an odd sensation of bonding of sorts between the three of them, an almost spiritual pull. It gave the older girls strength and energy near each other, gave them greater speed as they drew nearer to the younger girl…

Despite the speed of their running, the tower was tall, the steps steep, and it took several minutes for the girls to reach the top, a feat also not aided by the heavy troll hammers they were carrying. Buffy's heart was pounding rapidly, her facial muscles stiff , and the moment she reached the tower platform, her eyes skimmed across it, hurriedly checking its length. Her first thought other as her eyes fell on Dawn at its other end was extreme relief, for she was still alive, still apparently untouched…

But then her eyes widened, for she saw now not only Dawn, but also all that was surrounding her… for Glory was very close by, one hand firmly and possessively on her arm. And directly behind Dawn was the growing energy of Glory's orb, glowing an odd off-white color now, and expanded to the size of a bicycle… and still steadily increasing…

Buffy heard Faith suck in a sharp breath behind her as her eyes took in the sight of it too… and as fast glance at her watch told Buffy that there were only a few minutes now left until midnight. Only a few minutes until Glory used Dawn as her key… only a few minutes to be able to stop her…

Without any further communication or thought to each other, Buffy and Faith ran forward, troll hammers upraised. Adrenaline and fury flooding through them with an intensity that lent further strength to their movements, both struck Glory almost in synchronized motion, only narrowly missing hitting the wide-eyed, wildly hopeful Dawn as well.

To their exhilaration, Glory was knocked to her feet by the strength of their simultaneous blows, landing on her backside at Dawn's feet with a shrill shriek of startled anger more prevalent than pain. She seemed to be feeling at least a small degree of pain, though not nearly as much as anyone else would have been, and though she didn't appear to have sustained broken bones or serious injuries, she was at least shaken enough not to reply or fight back immediately as Buffy and Faith hefted up the heavy hammers again to hit her. Glory screamed again, the rage even more clear this time, and she teleported to the other side of the tower, her eyes darting wildly.

God, this was good… it actually seemed to be working, actually seemed to be affecting her. Clearly she couldn't see them… and now she was away from Dawn. If they just keep hitting her, keep getting her to stay away…

Glory's eyes were darting about wildly, trying to see who it was that had hit her and where they currently were- trying also to figure out WHAT had hit her, and how it had managed to have any effect on her. As Buffy and Faith ran towards her to hit her again, Dawn was watching, anxious, hopeful, an audience they were all too aware of.

"What the hell?! Who did that- where the hell are you?!" Glory screamed, using ironic choice of swear words for a hell god who was trying to return to precisely that location. "How the-"

As Buffy and Faith both hit her again, she yelled, falling to the floor once again even as she grasped out for them blindly. They barely evaded her hands. Slightly off balance now between the heaviness of the hammers, avoiding her hands, and sudden awareness of just how high up they were, the Slayers hit her several more times, just trying to ensure that she stayed down…

But then suddenly she was gone, and their hammers hit the tower's landing's floor, actually cracking it from the force of the impact. As the girls spun around hurriedly, startled, alarmed, they realized that she had teleported away once more… and this time, she was back beside Dawn, her face close to hers as she glared at her with nearly pyrokinetic fury and hate.

"YOU'RE DOING THIS!" she shrieked, and she shook Dawn so roughly the girl's teeth clacked together, her head snapping back and forth. "YOU'RE DOING THIS- STOP DOING THIS! You're not going to stop me- no one can stop me! You're not going to stop me, you're not-"

Buffy and Faith had started to run back to her the moment they saw she was near Dawn again, their hearts seizing… but their timing in their swings was not quite together anymore. Glory felt the first hit from Faith's hammer, and she screeched with rage and some pain again… but as Buffy's hammer started to fall, she reached out blindly, making the same twisting motion with her hands she had before in the Magic Box, with Willow and Tara. And suddenly she had hold of Buffy's hammer, had managed to wrench it from her hand… and not only that, but she was looking at it as if it were entirely visible to her. And then as her eyes went to rest on Buffy's, Buffy knew with a steadily growing despair that it was worse than that. She could see her too…

"Slayer," she said slowly, and there was amusement, a vicious satisfaction in her tone. "How very clever… too bad it's not gonna work, huh?"

She threw the hammer off the tower, where it hit near the now-convulsing Willow and Tara with a loud thud. Below them, Giles, hearing the hammer fall and seeing the girls suddenly hurting from Glory's magic reversal, quickly finished her creatures off at last before hurrying over to them with Xander. But up on the tower, the Slayers could not see this…they saw only Glory, Glory so close to Dawn…

It didn't occur to them that she was looking only at Buffy, that she had said 'Slayer' rather than 'Slayers…' it didn't occur to them that whatever she had done to make her once more able to see Buffy and her weapon might not have made it so that she could also see Faith and hers. But it wouldn't have mattered…for even as Faith raised her hammer again, Glory was already acting, and at a much quicker rate than Faith was able to.

She grabbed hold of Buffy in one hand, forcing her to stay at arm's length away from her as she held her in an inescapable grasp. Too quickly for either girl to react, she withdrew from her robe another knife, slashing its blade down Dawn's arm…

Dawn cried out, as much from shock as anything else, and her eyes widened until it seemed there was nothing else Buffy could see, nothing she could understand but the terror and pain in their surface. Faith's arm was continuing its descent down to hit Glory, but not before Glory had slashed her arm…and not before she had tossed the bloodied knife into the growing orb spreading out before them.

Faith's hammer hit Glory then, knocking her to the ground at Dawn's feet…but it was too late. They could see the orb darken… and they knew with utter horrified clarity that they had failed…

The orb was growing dark around its exterior, as if it were fading away, blackening out to blend in with the sky. But all around its interior there was a lightness, almost a glow, that seemed to be shining brighter ever so gradually. And in the very center it seemed to be stretching thinner, the brightness beaming through more and more, until the verge of spilling forth entirely…

The sky seemed to be moving, almost pulsing in a way that was almost dizzying… and the wooden platform below their feet was suddenly shaky, as if in danger of crumpling. And it could…anything could happen, now that the key had been used, the orb opened. Anything could happen, now that the world was ending…

Something snapped in Faith then…she did not make a sound, but there was screaming in her eyes nonetheless, anguish and failure contorting her features. She hit Glory with the hammer again, putting all her strength into it as she viciously smashed her chest, her stomach, and Buffy just stood there, staring with the same helpless horror as Dawn at what she knew to be their end…

On the hammer's third descent, Faith was aiming for Glory's head…but this time Glory was ready for her. Though she still could not see Faith or her weapon, she reached out to her as she had with Buffy, grasping the air near her and twisting her hands so that Faith fell to the platform floor, her hands scraping roughly against the wood as she tried to catch herself. Below the tower, Tara and Willow twisted in renewed pain…

Smirking across at her, Glory picked up the now-visible-to-her hammer and swung out at Buffy with it suddenly. Only Buffy's fast reflexes, causing her to step back quickly and instinctively put out her hands, kept her from catching it in the chest, and as it was she felt her right hand break, blood spraying as she fell to the floor. Glory stood over them, grinning widely, her face positively shining with victorious glee and triumph…

And then quite suddenly, she was gone…all three girls looked around frantically, their hearts in their throats, but she was gone. The orb was not yet fully open, and yet they could see her nowhere at all.

Author note- I know, I'm evil. Will have it up as soon as possible, next part is already written.


	33. Chapter 33

Bonded

Chapter 34

At the tower's base, Xander and Giles, still with the appearance of Buffy and Faith to all but themselves, were bent over Willow and Tara's shuddering, not-quite-conscious forms. Though from their angles they didn't have a very good view of what was happening up on the tower, they knew that Glory must have somehow done this, even without touching them. With the brown-robed creatures of Glory's dead, and their inability to do much to help Buffy and Faith on the tower, they had hurried to help the other girls, to try to do something to stop their pain.

But now they could see how the orb in the sky was changing, realized what this must mean… and as Giles's eyes narrowed, his shoulders stiffening, and Xander's eyes grew large and shiny with fear as he shakily muttered to himself under his breath, their minds were no longer preoccupied with the girls before them. Staring up into the sky, both in his own way began to fervently pray for a miracle- and for the Slayers to make the decision neither might have been able to themselves.

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In the car with Ben, Anya too had not failed to notice the changing features of Glory's conjured orb, to recognize it for what it was. She gasped so loudly it was almost a scream, her battered face paling considerably, and she dug her fingernails into her own arms hard as she began to babble her anxiety, unable to stop herself from voicing her panic.

"Oh god, oh god, oh no… oh holy shit, DAMMIT, it's here, she did it, she's opened it! Shit, this isn't fair…I don't' want to die! I'm only 1121 years old, I'm too young to die! And Xander, no, god, he can't- this isn't FAIR! Why didn't someone kill her, why-"

Ben's eyes were almost comically large, flashing with his angry disbelief and petrification. He too was talking aloud.

"No… no, this can't be happening. This can't…no…"

"This isn't FAIR!" Anya cried again, her voice rising up shrilly. "It isn't fair- why is this happening?! This isn't right, this isn't fair! This is not supposed to be happening, it's not-"

Her words cut off abruptly, and her eyes grew even wider, glinting with her disbelief…

For she had just heard Ben's words distort slightly, slowing and thickening in a way that was far from normal, and yet seemed to have escaped his notice… and she had just seen his body move, almost to shimmer… or RIPPLE…

And then he was talking normally again, his body smooth and flat… but Anya knew what she had seen. She had just seen Glory go into Ben… she was in him RIGHT NOW, right this moment… in her host! She was inside him, and therefore vulnerable to dying… this was the ONLY way she was able to die. Right now, right this very minute, Anya could kill Glory forever…if she killed Ben too.

Ben didn't seem to notice the change come over her expression, the sudden excitement in her eyes… he was paying attention to nothing but what he was thinking and feeling, had no room in his being then for anything else. She could kill him so quickly now and he wouldn't notice, wouldn't hardly feel it…

Anya's left hand crept to the knife in her inner jacket pocket, the one weapon she had been left with to defend herself. She couldn't do it with her right arm, of course, as it was currently in a cast… but if she worked up enough strength, surely her left would do just fine…

Buffy would never do this. Buffy could never bring herself to kill another human, no matter what the consequences…she had never murdered before, and though Anya usually gave the blonde very little thought, she knew her well enough to know she never would do so.

But Anya had… Anya had killed more humans, more men, than was possible for her to recall… and she could do it now with hardly a flicker of conscience.

Yanking her knife out abruptly, she raised it high before plunging it directly into Ben's heart. As she watched his eyes bulge, shock and pain drowning him as he choked on his own blood, her stomach twisted, but she did not regret. If she had to die…if Xander had to die… she was taking Glory with her.

She knew she would die… the stupid Slayers would never kill Dawn like they should, even to save all their lives.

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Up on the tower's platform, the Summers girls and Faith stared at the thinning orb before them, features freezing with despair. Buffy and Faith had not yet untied Dawn, had not even though to… all that their minds could currently focus on was the mind-numbingly horrible situation literally looming before their eyes.

Buffy's heart thudded wildly in her chest, making an odd pulsing at her temples that she was only distantly aware of. Her mouth was dry, her hands shaky, and even her newly rebroken hand was barely noticeable in its pain to her, as extensive as it was. She couldn't, was not sure for the first few moments if she could even move. Glory was not yet returning from her sudden disappearance, but Buffy didn't care, didn't even notice. The hell god who had caused all of this was somehow not at all on her mind.

The orb was opening, slowly, but steadily… she could already see the cracks inching across the night sky, the way the entire ground seemed to be trembling slightly. Within the next few minutes, if not a lesser amount of time, it was going to happen. The world as she knew it would be no more… and they would be destroyed right along with it…

Tangled, defeated thought trains were running through Buffy's head, giving her no comfort, nothing she could possibly benefit from. She was going to die…they had failed, they had been too late, they had not been able to stop this…and now, for good this time, she was going to die. At eighteen, she was going to die…

This couldn't be happening… there was so much she hadn't done yet, so much she hadn't had time for. There were things she hadn't said, so very much she hadn't… she was going to die without doing any of it. And not only that, so was everyone else…

They would all die, everyone in the world, and most of all, everyone she held dear. Willow and Xander, Giles and Tara…Angel, Wesley, Cordelia… all her friends past and present, she had failed them. She had not preserved their lives.

And Dawn… after all this, she had still not been able to save Dawn, still had failed to protect her sister. And Faith… god, she had failed Faith…she was going to lose Faith. To come this far, to love her so deeply and have her come to love her back, only to have it all stripped away, a futile happening in the end…

She could hear Dawn starting to cry softly, heard her apologize over her sobs for her very existence, for being the one to cause it all. She could see Faith beside her, standing rigidly as she stared out into the mass that's opening was growing by the moment, sucking the very light from its surrounding stars. She saw something shadowy pass over Faith's eyes, as neither Slayer spoke, not even in an attempt to comfort Dawn… for both were struggling.

Neither voiced their thoughts, but it was entirely unnecessary, for both knew what plagued the other girl's mind. Both remembered Willow's words to Faith.

If the orb opened… only the key, through her blood, could close it. Only the blood of the key… and it would have to be a full sacrifice, full body contact…destroying the orb, by her own self being destroyed.

It was the only way to stop it…the only way to save everyone…the only way to save Faith. But oh god, she couldn't do it…she couldn't. She couldn't take her sister, her baby sister, and fling her off of the tower…there was no way. No way could she ever do it… and neither, she knew, would Faith.

But it was the ONLY way…could she really damn all her friends- damn the entire world and all its inhabitants- because she could not kill her sister? Could she damn Faith? Could she really do that- could she let Faith die, after all they had been through, when she loved her so much, shared a bond, a connection with her that even now neither fully understood… could she let her die?

No, she couldn't…Buffy knew she couldn't. But neither could she kill Dawn.

Either way though, Dawn would die… in one way it would be because Buffy passively allowed it… the other, because she killed her. Buffy's very being shrank at the thought…but one of them was going to have to happen. It was the only way…for only Dawn's blood, Dawn's death, could stop this.

Buffy's eyes met Faith's beside her as her thoughts ran rapidly, the roaring in her ears, the flashing of the sky, and the shaking of the ground beneath her a barely acknowledged background when compared to the anguish she saw reflecting back at her from her lover's eyes. Faith knew as she did what was happening, what they had been told… and she too felt the agony of their tortured knowledge and the decision they were faced with now.

And then, with their eyes locked on each other's, seeking comfort, strength, an answer to the impossible task laid before them… and then, a new idea dawned on both of them. Simultaneously they saw the light come into the other's eyes as understanding struck, giving them a sudden hope and realization, a determined resolve that traveled from glinting eyes downward, settling as a decision deep in their guts. But even as this occurred, there was horror as well…for both knew that the other girl understood too, knew what she was planning, and panicked unacceptance of her thought clinched their insides tightly.

Dawn too noticed the change come over their faces…it had been less than two minutes since the orb began to open, but time seemed to be slowing, dragging, stretching out even as the orb itself did. Dawn's eyes flickered between the older girls, suddenly anxious, uncomprehending, eve as the orb's very thin covering strained further, a shadowy darkness ever threatening to burst completely forth…

"Wh-what are you- " she started to say, her voice trembling, but Buffy cut her off, her eyes locked on Faith's with sudden urgency.

"You can't do it, Faith- I won't let you do it."

"Yes I can, and I will," Faith replied, her words rushed, but very firm, her eyes fixed on Buffy's just as evenly. Her body was very still, as if preparing herself for what she was planning…

"She's my blood too, B… mine just as much as yours…and I'm the one who's gonna do this. I'm the one who should stop it…"

Her heart speeding up even faster, sudden panic sucking the air out of her lungs temporarily, Buffy grabbed Faith's hand with her uninjured one. Thoughts of everything around her were entirely forgotten now… the orb, so thin now that the sky was flashing and shaking nonstop, wisps of blackness seeping through… her friends below her, no doubt praying that she would find a way to stop this… even Dawn, still bound around her torso and hands, her feet, still shivering with cold and fear. She could not even feel the roughness of Faith's scraped palm, the blood drying on her fingers. All this Buffy blocked out as she looked into Faith's eyes, newly terrified at the determination she saw there.

"Faith, you can't do this…I can't let you do this! You can't-"

"We don't have time for this, B," Faith cut her off, and though there was anxiety in her eyes, anxiety and grief both, there was also a sense of relief, of something like peace, acceptance, that chilled Buffy. "It's almost entirely gone open, I've got to be the one to do this, and I've got to do it now. This one's on me, not you, not Dusk… my way to repay everything, you know?"

She tried to pull away from Buffy's grasp, but the older girl held on tightly, fear and horror draining her face of blood to the point where she almost looked translucent. This couldn't happen… this could NOT happen, this just couldn't-

"Faith, no! You don't have to repay anything- you don't have to make up for anything, you already did! You can't do this- you've already repaid! Listen to me-"

"No, I haven't, B," Faith interrupted, and her voice was quiet, but even, looking directly into the blonde's wide eyes. "Not until now…"

She glanced back at the orb again hurriedly, then at Dawn, who was staring at them with no understanding of the magnitude of what was happening between them. A softness came across her features, a love for the younger girl that was to define the most important decision of her short, terribly painful and difficult life… and as she looked back at Buffy, the softness, the intensity of her love, was now focused on her.

She leaned forward slightly and fiercely pulled Buffy into her arms, holding her to her so closely and urgently that Buffy felt the slight quivering of the younger girl's muscles with her inner emotional upheaval. Buffy clung to her, trying to hold her there with her, to prevent her from ever pulling away. All thoughts of her own intentions had left her for the moment, and she could only focus now on keeping Faith from carrying out hers, no matter what the cost…

Faith kissed her then, conveying with her mouth working rapidly, almost roughly against Buffy's everything she was feeling then, for her own self as well as for Buffy. Buffy could taste the grief in her kiss, the sorrow and pain… but most of all, she could sense in it the enormity of Faith's love, so strongly that her head swam, her knees buckled. Their Slayer bond seemed so strong then that the air almost crackled with it, and as highly aware of and sensitive to Faith's touch as she was, Buffy could hardly make out where Faith's body- Faith's being- was apart from her own.

When the younger Slayer pulled away, a part of Buffy realized that her kiss had lasted no more than three seconds…but another part of her could still feel Faith's lips on hers, her hands grasping her lower back and shoulder blade as she pulled her close, and she knew that she would fight to retain that sensation, to deny that it had ended.

There were tears shining brightly in the younger Slayer's eyes…but somehow Buffy knew they were not of fear or pain of what she was going to try to do. Faith was not upset at losing her life… only of losing her.

"I love you, B," she almost whispered. "Now let me go."

And with that she abruptly yanked herself from Buffy's grasp. Buffy screamed, snatching out for her…but Faith evaded her, her voice higher than usual, but still under control as she called out to Dawn as well.

"I love you too Dusk…take care of your sister for me, okay?"

And then she was full out running, sprinting for the end of the platform…clearly with every intention of jumping out into the orb before them.

Dawn seemed unable to react in any way to what she was seeing… a horrified comprehension froze itself on her face, and she simply stared with the disbelieving stupor of one approaching catatonia. But Buffy had no such reaction.

Buffy screamed… screamed with a shrillness, an anguished horror and pain that she had never come close to voicing before, never came close to feeling. She saw Dawn cringe, beginning to cry, saw Faith stumble in her run even as she continued to go on despite the sound…and all too clearly Buffy knew she would lose her. She was losing Faith… Faith was going to die, Faith was going to destroy herself…for HER…

And then her scream was cut off as sharply and suddenly as it had began, and Buffy ran, ran faster than she had ever run in her life. There was no conscious thought in her action, no logic or plan…she didn't think of the good of the world, of the good of Sunnydale. She didn't think of letting go and being strong, didn't think of her duty and destiny. She didn't think of her friends and their love for her, their need of her…she didn't' even think of Dawn. All she thought was that Faith was going to die, and that there was no way she could be left behind without her.

And so when Faith jumped out from the platform, heading out feet first into the orb, Buffy dove after her without hesitation. The high speed of her running gave her extra lift and projection to her jump, and just before crashing through the orb, she first collided with Faith in mid-air.

It was the strangest thing…for even as the collision with Buffy's body sent them forward into the orb at an even faster rate and with greater force, there was a split second before they hit the orb when time seemed to slow. As Buffy's body hit Faith's, her broken hand hit one of Faith's scraped ones…a hand that automatically closed around Buffy's crushed, bloodied fingers.

And then they were breaking through the orb, at the very moment it opened up entirely… and as their bodies crashed into the mass of mystical energy, hands still clasped, they could feel themselves falling…and yet it seemed, slow, almost peaceful…

TBC

Author note: I know, I know, EVIL ME…I'm sorry. And I promise this is not the end…and the next chapter is written up, and there's still one or two others left to go after that.


	34. Chapter 34

Bonded

Chapter 34

The first thing Buffy was aware of was an odd buzzing in her skull, a pressure against her temple that was vaguely irritating at first, then increasingly more so as more awareness came to her. Slowly, as if from quite a distance at first, she could feel sensation coming back to her…numbness in some areas, pain in others, and it was difficult with her disorientation to be able to know which feeling was where. Next she could sense light, a brightness so intense she squinted even without opening her eyes.

And then the rest of it began to seep back into her consciousness slowly…as thought returned, along with a tangle of memory, it suddenly dawned on Buffy that she alive. Somehow, in some way, she was alive…

As everything returned to her in an increasingly rapid rush of memory, confusing, out of order, and entirely overwhelming to her still highly worn brain, Buffy's anxiety rose sharply. What…where was she? How had this happened, how was she alive? She had jumped off the tower, right after Faith… hadn't she? She remembered doing that…she remembered grabbing her hand instinctively as her body collided with her lover's, remembered breaking through the orb…she remembered falling. And then, nothingness…after that…

Buffy didn't know, didn't remember…where was Glory? Where had she gone? Had they been too late, had the orb not closed? What about Dawn… where was Dawn… where was she? Was she alive…was she in the afterlife? Why could she feel pain…was she in hell?

Faith…Faith, were was Faith, FAITH…

With that thought, Buffy's eyes flew open, her heart suddenly pounding too hard, too fast…for she didn't know, she had no idea where she herself was, let alone her lover. Was Faith… what had happened, what was going on?! Faith had jumped too…hadn't she? She must have hit…hadn't they? Had they ever hit the floor? What if she was dead…what if somehow Buffy was here, the world, unchanged…except that now Faith was dead?

Buffy's eyes darted wildly about, they were so blinded at first by the room's bright light that she had to screw her face up to protect herself, unable for several moments to focus enough to make anything out. Eventually her eyes settled slightly, enough to take in the white walls, fluorescent lights, the high, guard-railed bed she was in, and the IVs stuck in her and bandages on her arms, ribs, and chest… enough to realize that she must be in a hospital. She was beginning to feel a weird confining weight around her left leg that was probably a cast…

All this her mind took in, but it was secondary to what her eyes fixated on and refused to let go of. For there was another bed a few feet away from her, a bed occupied by another patient…a patient currently staring across at her every bit as disbelieving as she was, every bit as paralyzed…a patient who was Faith.

Faith's face was bruised badly, a bandage on one side of her head, her eyes oddly sunken, as though even while unconscious she had been lacking rest. Her arm above the blanket was in a cast, her other arm hooked up to IVs and other machines monitoring her vital signs. Her lip was swollen and badly cut, and no doubt what Buffy could not see of her was injured as well beneath the blanket.

But Buffy barely noticed any of this…all that she was taking in, all that she really cared about in that moment, was that Faith was there. She was looking back at her… she was breathing, seemed to be recognizing Buffy from the equal unbelief and horror both in her eyes. She was alive…

Or was she… what if this really wasn't real? What if they had died after all and this was some weird kind of afterlife? They SHOULD have died… were they dead?

Or even worse, what if Buffy WAS alive…but Faith wasn't? What if this wasn't real, what if she wasn't seeing her at all? What if this was a dream, a hallucination…what if it really wasn't real, and Buffy would really never see her again…

"Faith," she spoke aloud, and her voice was dry, cracking slightly. She swallowed, trying to clear her throat and finding herself strangely unable to do so. "Faith…"

For several moments the girl on the other bed did not speak… she just continued to stare. At first Buffy was afraid that she was unable to, that her voice had somehow been damaged…or else that she couldn't because she was a mirage or hallucination or something, and those never speak out loud.

But then she did speak, her voice even lower and hoarser than Buffy's, and Buffy knew that she had to be real. Not even a dream or imitation could mimic Faith's voice so closely…

"B…can't be real…"

Hearing her hushed, hesitant tone, seeing her own thoughts and fears echoed in Faith's confused eyes, Buffy's chest tightened painfully. Without being aware in advance of what she was about to do, she cried out loudly, her voice cracking, yet shrill with excitement and intense emotion.

"FAITH! Faith…oh god… Faith, Faith, Faith…Faith Faith Faith Faith…"

She wanted to jump up right then and there, to run to Faith and throw her arms around her, to hold her and be held by her, to kiss her and never, ever let her go. She wanted to be as close to her as possible, to feel for herself that Faith was really there, with her, that by some miracle that Buffy did not comprehend, they were both still alive…

But as she tried to swing her feet off the bed, tried to instinctively jump right up and go to her, her body sharply reminded her of her physical restraints, both the literal ones holding her immobile, nearly such as the IVs and her cast, and those of her severity of injuries. Hot stabbings of pain shot through her as she tried to move, making her head pound and squeeze against her temple dizzyingly. She could see Faith watching her in alarm, hear her calling her name, but Buffy could not draw enough breath at first to respond.

Almost in tears now, eyes stinging hotly, feeling weak and very helpless, very frustrated, Buffy repeated Faith's name, unable to think of anything else.

"Faith…Faith, god, Faith…"

Faith's eyes were wide, blinking several times, as if she too were trying to convince herself of Buffy's existence. She glanced down at herself very quickly…

And then she clumsily thrust the blanket off of herself, ripping the IV out of her arm with shaky fingers. Immediately the alarm connected with it sounded, jolting Buffy's memory back to when she had first taken the comatose Faith from the hospital and Giles had forgotten about the alarm connected with her feeding tube. Faith seemed unbothered by the loud, insistent beeping, however; it was not what she was focused on at the moment. Instead she was struggling to untangle herself from the various wires and tubes on her unbroken arm, with not very much patience or regard for sparing herself pain. Between her broken arm and the severe pain her jerky movements must have been causing her, this was very difficult, but Faith kept on frantically, her face pale an tensed with a blending of concentration, pain, shock, and almost desperate hope…

Somehow she freed herself from her IVs and sat up with effort, trying to get herself over the guard rail and out of bed. She seemed driven by the sound of Buffy's tears, the look in her eyes…but the sight of her at all, when she had so clearly thought such a thing would never again be possible.

With much effort and what Buffy could tell even through her blurred vision and near incoherent run of emotional thought was no small amount of pain, Faith finally managed to slide down the guard rail and tumble herself off the bed, only to have her legs buckle under her and slide her to the floor with a loud gasp she could not suppress in time. Horrified, Buffy screamed her name again, her heart now throbbing hard with her fear of Faith having badly hurt herself, or worsened whatever injuries she might already have. What color had been left in Faith's face blanched away even further. Buffy could tell that she was shaking, unable to raise herself up off the floor on her own, even as she slowly grasped the bed with her unbroken yet heavily bruised arm, trying to do exactly that.

It was then, with the loud beeping of Faith's abandoned machines in the background that a nurse burst into the room, her eyes rapidly flitting about to take in the situation. Seeing Faith crumpled on the floor, her breath coming in ragged hisses, and Buffy trying to sit up in bed, still calling her name somewhat helplessly as tears streamed down her cheeks, the nurse's eyes bulged. Quickly she moved to turn off the switch in control of the shrill beeping. As the noise thankfully was cut off, she hurried to Faith's side, her features drawn together in shock and distress.

"You're awake- the both of you- but how in the world did this happen?! You'll need to be examined immediately, miss, are you feeling pain? Let's get back into bed… I don't' see how in the world you managed to-"

"No- no, I need to see her…let me see her!" Faith cried, and her eyes opened wide, her voice almost as urgent and upset now as Buffy's. "No-let go of me, get your hands off me, let me SEE her!"

The woman had been attempting to touch Faith, to check her pulse through her wrist, but Faith yanked her arm away from her, even though this small movement making her gasp sharply with pain. She attempted to pull herself up, but it wasn't going to happen…at the moment, she was physically too weak and hurting to be able to support her own weight, even though neither of her legs were more than badly cut and bruised. The nurse looked even more dismayed at this attempt, and though she didn't try to lift Faith, she put hands meant to simultaneously calm and restrain her on her arms.

"No ma'am, you don't need to be walking around here, you don't need to be out of bed at all… how did you even get like this, my goodness…"

Faith tried to wrench herself away from her again, clearly not liking this statement at all, and the quick movement made her suck in her breath sharply. Her eyes went to meet Buffy's again, and she saw that the blonde was calming down slightly, her tears slowing, but there was still anxiety in her eyes, a need to touch her and be touched by her…a need that Faith was feeling too.

"Let go of me- let me up, let me- let me go to her!"

"Easy…you're going to hurt yourself-"

"Faith-" Buffy nearly whispered, and now she was alarmed too. If Faith was as injured as she herself seemed to be…then god, she must be-

"LET ME UP!" Faith almost screamed, her frustration spiking sharply, and with her good arm she roughly shoved the nurse away from her, actually knocking her on her backside.

The woman got to her feet hurriedly, her eyes wide, and she backed away from Faith, seeming shocked by her strength. Then again it probably was pretty odd for a teenage girl, unconscious or even comatose minutes ago, to wake up, rip out her IVs, get out of bed, and yell and strike out with a good bit of force at her. And she was a young nurse, seeming barely out of her teens…

"I'll- I'm going to go get the doctor- you shouldn't move…"

She left the rooms quickly, throwing a last hurried glance back at them, and Faith tried again to pull herself up with one arm, her body shuddering with the effort but not succeeding. Buffy watched with growing dazed feeling, trying to stop her tears but still feeling too overwhelmed with emotion to do so entirely.

"Faith…you're hurt…"

Stupid observation, but it was all she could manage to think.

"Did this really happen?" Faith asked, and her voice was a lot smaller, a lot shakier and uncertain than it had been when addressing the nurse. "Is this… the tower…Glory…"

"I…I think so," Buffy nearly whispered back, and her mind flickered, remembering, the images flashing fast in her head… she wanted to badly to touch Faith, to prove to herself the unbelievable seeming fact that they were alive. Somehow they were alive…

"I want to… I need to touch you, B," Faith whispered, her voice cracking, and her words echoed Buffy's fevered thought. "I need to get to you…"

Just then the door opened, and the girls looked up, expecting to see a doctor come in alerted by the nurse. But no, it was Giles…Giles, his face open and anxious, his clothes rumpled, and his hair disheveled as if he had had little sleep, or else slept in a chair in the waiting room. Seeing Buffy awake in her bed and Faith still lying on the floor, equal measures of pleased relief and excitement, shock, concern, and even a little anger flickered across his eyes, and he stepped forward quickly.

"Buffy… Faith…you're awake…good Lord, you're awake…"

"Giles, help me get to her," Faith said desperately, and though her eyes also showed surprise and extreme relief to see him seemingly okay, it was clear that expressing this was not what was most pressing on her mind. "I need to get to her…"

"Giles!" Buffy cried, and her tears nearly spilled over once more with the intensity of her reaction to seeing him. "Giles…we're alive…you're alive? Are we-"

"Yes, yes, I'm alive… and so are you, both of you are very much alive…oh thank God for this, this is…" he began, very much flustered, his expression shifting between various emotions as his eyes repeatedly went from Buffy in bed, awkwardly trying to lift her heavily bandaged hand to wipe at her eyes, to Faith on the floor, obviously in pain.

"Faith, good Lord, what are you- how did you get down-"

"Dawn- where's Dawn?" both Slayers blurted out at once. They only gave a very fast glance of surprise at each other before their eyes went back to settle on Giles hurriedly. "Is she okay- is she-"

"Yes, yes, she's fine, she'll be fine," Giles reassured them quickly, holding his hands up briefly in a calming gesture even as his eyes continued to flicker, disbelieving, between them. "Shaken, obviously, after what's happened… but then, who wasn't out of us? It's a miracle you both survived… a miracle that your recklessness happened to work for the best, despite the odds. And they were fairly astounding odds against you…I suppose the Powers That Be were on our side…"

He stopped himself, seeming to realize how he was rambling, and his hand went up unconsciously to touch his glasses as he stepped closer to Faith, beginning to kneel beside her, still showing no shortage of amazement and shock.

"Faith… how has this occurred? Good Lord, you don't' need to be moving at all- do you realize how seriously injured the two of you were?"

He began to pick her up very gently and carefully under her knees and shoulders, still muttering about how she had probably reshattered bones and reopened stitches, counteracting Willow's and Tara's earlier effort to speed their healing. Faith didn't try to physically fight him as she had the nurse, but she protested when Giles turned back towards her bed, intending to lay her back down until the doctor arrived.

"No! No, I need to see B…take me over to B, I need to see her…"

Just then an older man walked in with the nurse from before trailing after him somewhat nervously- no doubt he was the doctor. Seeing the girls conscious, with Faith unhooked from her medical equipment and currently in Giles's arms, the man's eyebrows raised, but he spoke with dry humor to them both.

"I see someone's feeling better, or so she thinks at least…going somewhere, Miss Lehane?"

"It seems she…fell," Giles replied, looking towards the doctor. "I was just coming in to visit, and they were both awake already." He couldn't keep his voice nearly as even and calm as he had probably hoped, and the doctor smiled in spite of himself at the older man's tone, his obvious happiness.

"So I was told… better make sure she didn't injure herself any further, that everything's as okay as she seems to think." He smiled at Faith, then Buffy, and the surprise and faint echoing of the nurse's earlier shock was more evident in his tone now. "You're both very lucky girls… and quite the fighters too, it seems…"

Giles started to set Faith down in bed again, but Faith spoke up sharply, her voice tightening.

"No, please- let me see B. I need to see her Giles, please…"

"Just for a minute- let me see her for just a minute," Buffy joined in, her throat closing, stomach twisting with her sudden desperately escalating need to touch Faith, comfort herself with the assurance of the brunette's skin under her own… a need Faith, who never begged, rarely asked anything of anyone, obviously was feeling too. She could almost physically feel how badly Faith wanted her, and she added again, meeting Giles's eyes pleadingly, "Please, just for a minute…"

"What you need, Miss Lehane, is to rest in bed and have us thoroughly examine you and treat any further injuries you may have just given yourself," the doctor said more firmly, approaching as the nurse was dismissed with a nod and brief smile. "It's incredible that you are even coherent now, but nevertheless you are clearly incapable of thinking of your own health. You've been in coma, on life support, for two days now, you have several broken ribs, a broken ulna, a concussion, a fractured collarbone, and severe bruising and contusions…I don't think getting out of bed, or any movement at all, for that matter, is appropriate."

He motioned for Giles to set her down, but Faith, was near tears now, and this coupled with the frantic fear in her eyes gave the former Watcher pause.

"Let me just touch her, just for a second…I gotta see that this is real. I gotta feel it, Giles..please…"

His eyes moving from her to Buffy, who was watching with the same emotion in her hazel eyes, Giles finally nodded. Ignoring the doctor's disapproving frown and cutting off his protest by forcing him to step back, he turned with Faith still held carefully in his arms. Stopping beside Buffy's bed, Giles squatted slightly, holding her still close to him and taking care to hurt her as little as possible, but also holding her to Buffy's level.

A shaking hand reached out, and Faith took Buffy's unbandaged hand in her unbroken arm's hand, holding it gently, tentatively, her eyes widening with wonder and overwhelming relief. She started to cry then, hurting worse for it from the way it strained her injured body, but she couldn't help it, couldn't bring herself to stop. Buffy squeezed her hand back, feeling her own tears begin again, feeling the pain stabbing through her chest and torso with the pressure of it.

When Giles took Faith back to her bed and lay her down, allowing the doctor to come look at her, both girls were still crying… but there was joy in it now, a sense of comfort and victory that set their dazed minds at ease.

TBC

Author note: I know this explained nothing…but just relax in knowing they're alive for now, lol. Next chapter will get into explaining things. And there are about two more left.


	35. Chapter 35

Bonded Chapter 35

Author note: I know…taking forever to type this up. But good news…I have FINISHED it!!! Whoot whoot…and it is two more chapters, this one and the next. I just have to type them up…anyway with any ideas for future Fuffyness, I am eager to know.

Chapter 35

"I am quite honestly not sure what has happened," Giles began, and the perplexed note in his voice made it clear to the girls before him that he was still pondering it heavily himself. "There are so many different ways of looking at it, so many ways to try and explain, to understand…"

"Just…start with telling us what you know," Buffy said, nodding slightly as she squeezed Faith's hand with her unbandaged one, her stomach rippling with pleasure and gratitude when Faith's fingers tightened on hers as well. Just to be able to feel Faith touch her, a solid reminder of her livelihood and presence with her, was enough to almost exhilarate her…

"Just go over what happened… and then we can work towards how or why."

The doctor and nurses had finished their examination of Buffy and Faith perhaps ten minutes ago; they had seemed amazed not only by their simultaneous full awakenings but also their general good health and coherence, as well as signs already showing of their rapid healing- at least as far as their cuts and bruises went. Apparently it wasn't within the norm for young women who had been comatose, in intensive care, with multiple broken bones and fractures, to wake up two days later, full alert, and actually succeed at doing so (even if they had underestimated their ability to walk across the room.) But of course, Faith and Buffy weren't normal girls… for it was obvious to them all that any other girls in the world who had jumped off the LaMorte tower would be dead.

Of course, they had not told the hospital workers, particularly the psychiatrist who had been called in to see them, that they had jumped. Letting it be believed that they were suicidal would only prolong their hospital stay. Instead the girls had claimed to be climbing the tower as a dare and to have fallen off. They suspected there would be more questioning about that… but although the people at the LaMorte hospital probably weren't as gullible as the ones at Sunnydale's, they nonetheless left them alone for the moment.

Giles had called the others as soon as the doctors had began to examine them; they had all gone back to Sunnydale on the second day the girls had been in the hospital, even Dawn, who had been in the hospital for stitches. Giles had let them know in a voice much more excited and animated than usual that the Slayers were conscious and coherent. Now, as the doctor left them alone to rest, they faced Giles expectantly. For as they waited for the others to make the three hour journey to the hospital, the was going to talk with them about what happened… or what had happened as best as they could figure out.

The doctor had now allowed, even after examining and addressing the injuries of both, for Faith to lie with Buffy in her bed, nor for her to sit next to the blonde in a chair by her bed. Instead he had insisted she have her own bed, with sufficient space for her to rest and heal. Giles, however, had found a way to help the girls get around this order, and seeing how much they wanted and needed physical contact with each other. He had with the help of an aid carefully pushed Faith's bed up against Buffy's, and the girls had clasped hands immediately, were still doing so now. They watched him sitting in a chair before them, regarding them with thoughtfulness, relief, and a love and gratitude for them that was by now a very familiar expression of feeling to them.

Even as she waited expectantly for Giles to speak, Buffy's eyes kept drifting back to search Faith's face, to take in her features with an intense near disbelief. She couldn't look at her enough, couldn't assure herself enough that Faith was right there with her… and every time their eyes met, she could tell that Faith was feeling the same way. There was childlike wonder in the other girl's eyes…along with a fear, a dreading that what she was so amazed to have back with her might disappear at any moment.

Giles too was watching them, and even now he shook his head slightly, still amazed to see them at all. Finally clearing his throat, he began again.

"Well we do know, of course, that Glory used Dawn's blood to open the orb. We know that the two of you jumped off of the tower, under the theory that if Dawn was made from your essences, that your blood would work in place of hers to close the orb. We also know that this theory was correct, as we are all still alive here today. We know that Glory is now dead-"

"What?!" both Faith and Buffy blurted out, and their eyebrows raised, eyes widened with this entirely new knowledge.

"No /we/ didn't know that, there's no /we/ in that sentence that includes /us/!" Buffy clarified, looking at Giles sharply. "Glory's dead- how? By who? When?"

"She's dead?" Faith said quickly, her eyes intent on Giles's; the older man seemed somewhat taken aback by their reactions. "So…does that mean you found some other way to kill her? Or…is Ben…"

She didn't finish her sentence as her eyes flickered away, but it really wasn't' necessary. The reluctance to hear it, the way her face tensed and her hand tightened in Buffy's, made it clear what she intended to say.

Giles seemed reluctant to speak too…when his eyes met the girls again, it was with some hesitation that he spoke.

"Glory needed to use Ben's body once more time, before the orb had entirely opened… perhaps you don't remember, or were not aware in the tumult. When she went into his body, he was with Anya in my car. Ben went there from the tower floor, she tells us…"

He hesitated again, eyeing the girls, then taking off his glasses and beginning to clean them as he continued in a carefully quiet but neutral tone.

"Anya saw Glory go into Ben's body, after the orb was beginning to open…and she stabbed him. It is in this way that Glory died."

He left unsaid that Ben had also died, in order for this to happen, but again, this wasn't necessary to be said in order for them to understand. Both girls went still and quiet, their hands in each other's unconsciously tightening even as their thoughts ran unaware of all else.

Above all, Buffy was conflicted. She had wanted to preserve Ben's life, for he was a human, an innocent…and one who had cared for Dawn, who Dawn had wanted to be protected. But because he was dead, so was Glory…and this Buffy had desired this more strongly almost than her desire to preserve Dawn's life…to preserve Faith's. She had told herself that she would kill him if she had to. But now that his death was reality…

She was fiercely, entirely glad that Glory was dead, that there would be no further harm or hunting of Dawn… but this meant that she was glad that Ben was dead too. And this Buffy was troubled, almost shamed by.

She couldn't stop herself from picturing his face, remembering how he had teased Dawn in the hospital, paid attention to her and treated her with respect, made her face light up with her eagerness to be around him. She remembered how he had reassured her and Faith, how he had done what he could to set their minds at ease for the girl he perceived to be their sister. He had genuinely cared, genuinely been a nice person…and Glory had ruined that.

For she truly couldn't blame Anya… as much as hated in some ways what the other girl had done, wanted to blame her in some way for Ben's death, she knew she couldn't. It had not been Anya who dictated the only manner in which Glory could be defeated… it had only been Anya who had brought it about. In a way they might even owe Dawn's life to her… and the lives of all the others as well. For even after the orb had been shut down, once Glory had hopped out of Ben's body again, she would no doubt be furious. She would probably kill everyone she came across…and because of Anya's quick acting, this would not happen.

No, Buffy didn't want to soften in her view toward Anya… she had always been a little perplexed and uneasy with her, and after she betrayed Dawn to Glory… and she had killed Ben. But she also killed Glory…and in doing so, she had saved them. And for that, Buffy had to be relieved, even grateful.

As Buffy, having sorted this out rapidly in her mind, glanced over at Faith, she could see the same ambivalence in the younger girl's dark eyes, in the scrunching of her eyebrows and creasing of her forehead. Faith must be even more stunned by this revelation than Buffy was, for she had not even been aware that Anya was in LaMorte with them. And as strongly as she had reacted towards Anya's betrayal…as strongly as she had been opposed to killing Ben… and yet, as strongly as she had wanted Glory dead…

It was no wonder Faith was so conflicted, probably even more so than Buffy herself… and knowing this, Buffy squeezed her hand again, wishing she could actually pull her into her arms. When Faith squeezed her back hard, Buffy settled for lifting her hand to her lips and gently kissing Faith's fingers.

When Faith spoke she didn't mention Anya, probably as much because she was attempting control as because she wouldn't know how to address that part of Giles's descriptions.

"I'm…good. I'm glad," she said somewhat roughly as she briefly but firmly met Giles's eyes. "I don't like it… but I'm glad."

As Buffy looked over at her again, she understood suddenly all else that Faith was not saying, or at least she thought she did. Faith was not only glad that Glory was dead, that Dawn was safe…she was glad that she hadn't been forced to kill Ben to insure this. Either of them, had it come down to it, had finally reached the point where they could have and would have killed Ben to save themselves…but it would have eaten them alive inside to do so. For Buffy, who had never taken human life, and for Faith, whose past instances of doing so had ended up causing her as much suffering as that of her victims, it would have been more than they were ready for emotionally. And so in that way they could thank Anya, inwardly if not in actuality, for sparing them this pain by her actions.

"Yes," Buffy said slowly, reluctantly, "I…I guess it had to be done."

"Yes," Giles replied, seeming a bit relieved by their reactions. Maybe he had expected them, or at least Faith, to grow very angry at this, to try once more to impulsively get out of bed- and Buffy supposed that this was understandable. "Yes, it was quite unfortunate, quite unfair to all concerned… but I do believe, no matter how tragic the circumstances, that Anya did as she should have."

He cleared his throat, finally replacing his glasses on his face and peering at the girls thoughtfully as he continued.

"Now, we have gone over what we know to be true, including the deactivation of Glory's orb. But what is left out in the open now is not what has occurred, but why- and for that I have several theories to go by."

He exhaled, seeming to be gathering his thought, and then went on, "I am sure you realize that you were correct in your assumption that your blood could stop the orb, just as Dawn's would have, since she is of your essences. The question is why the two of you are still alive today… why neither the fall from the tower, nor the magical energy concentrated in the orb, killed you. Of course, we are all extremely pleased that it didn't-" And here even Giles couldn't stop himself from breaking out in a wide smile- "But the question remains nonetheless."

"Well…you got answers for us, or what?" Faith asked bluntly, her hand moving to scratch her head and quickly wincing and lowering her arm again in response to the pain the movement gave her. Faith was constantly trying to move as if she wasn't injured, even in the short time she had been awake, and it was her broken arm she had attempted to scratch herself with.

"Not answers- only possibilities," Giles replied. "You said that it felt as if your falling was very slow, as though the mass around you inside the orb was thick…well perhaps you were right. Perhaps something- the blood of two Slayers, twice the power needed to close the orb, the strength of the Slayer bond at its full height from your adrenaline and emotion…perhaps the orb responded in a way it normally would not. Perhaps the mass of it grew thicker, confused, if you will…and that could have slowed your fall to the ground, slowed it enough to only injure rather than kill you."

He frowned, a hand going to his chin as he leaned toward them unconsciously. "As for why the energy of the orb didn't destroy you…again I can only speculate. Perhaps your slayer bond gave you a form of immunity against it, a power and strength lent to each other one would not have possessed alone. The joining of your hands, as you described it, both already bloodied, would strengthen it as well… or perhaps it did not kill you because both of you have already died once. Your lives are in a sense magically rendered…whereas Dawn's existence is magically rendered. She has never truly been born, let alone died. Her essential being is energy, life at its rawest form… perhaps only life at its purest form could truly be destroyed."

He paused for a few moments again, regarding them, taking in their expressions before going on. Both were listening, frowning slightly in concentration, just trying to make sense of what he was saying for themselves.

"Or perhaps the sacrifice you offered… the sacrifice of your lives, both of them, rather than the one it required… perhaps it was too much, going above and beyond what was needed," Giles said quietly. "Perhaps the result was that you were simply released, the combination of the essences of the both of you too much for it to accept. Enough to close it…but too much to keep. Or perhaps it had nothing to do with the orb itself, but rather the Slayer lineage. Perhaps it grew confused, between the second deaths of the two Slayers technically already once deceased, and the death of a third Slayer and calling of a new one-"

"What?!" Buffy and Faith blurted then for the second time, their eyes snapping wide open, and they stared at Giles in astonishment.

"What do you mean, 'death of the third Slayer?' You mean the other girl, Jana?"

"The other Slayer died? When? How?"

Giles blinked, a little taken aback by their shock; he seemed to be still realizing how little the girls knew. Looking back at them, his voice lowered slightly as he explained.

"I was informed shortly after the two of you had been admitted to the hospital that the third Slayer, Jana Drury, died in battle the morning of Christmas Day. From what I was told, it seems that her death took place very close in time to the opening of the orb and the two of you jumping inside it… perhaps even in that same moment, despite our differences in time zone between here and England."

He fell silent for a moment, allowing the girls time to let this news sink in. Neither had known Jana Drury, or even had an idea what she looked like…but she had been a young girl, a sister Slayer, and the news sobered them. After several moments of thought focused on the fellow Slayer they had never met, Buffy finally interrupted the quiet softly, addressing Giles again.

"You think that her dying might have something to do with why we're still alive?"

"Well, we can't know that for sure…we can't really know anything for sure," Giles replied, his voice as quiet and serious as hers. "I only thought that perhaps, if she did die in the same moment or just before your blood hit the orb, that maybe the deaths of the three Slayers all at once confused the already-rather-altered Slayer lineage. This is, after all, the first time in history that we ever had three Slayers all alive and active at once. For all three to die in the same moment- that likelihood is so enormously miniscule that if it did actually occur, there is no telling what might happen. Perhaps as a new Slayer was called in Jana's stead, there was mystical confusion as to what was to be done with the two of you. It is believed, although until now there was no definite proof, that a revived Slayer, once dead again, would not call into action another Slayer. Perhaps in the confusion, rather than calling two Slayers for you, the two of you were merely resurrected instead."

Giles shrugged, the look of thoughtful focus and reason in his eyes finally fading slightly as he looked at the young women before him. He could not refer to them as his Slayers, nor as his daughters…but his feelings toward them as such, and his love for them and gratitude to heave them with him, were apparent to them both in his expression.

"I do not know that any of this is true, of course… it's only my speculation, my own attempt to put an explanation to your continued survival. But in all actuality, I truly do not care what the answer is… I care only that you are both here, and that you will recover and be with us."

Both girls smiled softly in reaction to those sincerely spoken words, touched…Buffy's throat tightened slightly, and she nodded, smiling back with slightly shining eyes. Feeling Faith squeeze her hand, she glanced at her quickly and saw that a similar look was in her eyes too.

"Thank you, Giles," Buffy replied, and Faith echoed after her, her voice softer than usual, "Yeah…thanks…"

"No thanks needed," Giles said a little more brusquely than usual, perhaps a bit embarrassed by this- he was still British after all, even though he was also Giles, and words of his caring were not always easy in coming, or at least for him to accept gratitude for. Still he smiled again, genuinely, at them both, before taking off his glasses to clean them.

Buffy was smirking at the familiarity of this action when Faith asked suddenly, the thought seeming to have just occurred to her, "Who's the new Slayer? Where's she from- she from outside the country too?"

"Yeah," Buffy realized, looking over at Giles again with curiosity. "Now that's Jana's…well, then who's the new-"

A thought struck her then, and her back straightened, sending a sharper pain through her ribs even as her eyes widened.

"Giles- who is this new Slayer? It's…it's not Dawn, is it? I mean, since she's made from us…does that mean…"

"No," Giles said quickly as Faith glanced over at her, the thought obviously not having occurred to her. "No, the Slayer is another young girl, an Australian by the name of Mallory Hartinger… not Dawn, certainly."

He paused, looking into the girls' eyes in turn, before saying quietly but intently, "She is no longer the key…and though I suppose she is still your essences, in effect, I believe that she is also her own person now. She is fully human, a real person, not that she already wasn't… in all actuality she is probably closer to being a normal girl than either of the two of you."

Seeing Buffy's smile of relief and gladness for her sister, of the freedom she was beginning to realize that Dawn had, Giles continued as the blonde's eyes met Faith's.

"Dawn can live an ordinary life now, a life without pretense and fear… well, as much of that as one can have when one is the sister of a Slayer residing at the Hellmouth, at any rate."

Buffy and Faith both smirked at that, laughing slightly, and as brief silence born of contentment rather than awkwardness fell over them, Buffy's mind marveled, almost in a daze, over all she had to take in. It had only been an hour or two since she emerged from a coma, and she was still physically and mentally weary…this was a lot for her to think about.

Dawn was okay…more than okay, Dawn could now be free to live her life in the way that Buffy herself had always wanted to. She had no duties, nothing hunting her down or holding her back from being whatever she wanted… she had Buffy and Faith and Giles and all their friends to care for her, would be loved and protected more than any other girl her age. They had saved her…

And somehow…somehow she and Faith had also saved each other. Mentally, emotionally, they were drastically changed from what they had once been, entirely because of the love of the other… and now that same bond, that same intense love, had somehow managed to save them physically as well.

For despite all of Giles's attempts to explain what had happened, his logical words and careful line of thinking, whether or not any or all of it was true, it didn't matter in the long run to Buffy. When it came down to it, what had saved their lives was their love for each other, the intensity of the mental, spiritual, and even physical bonding between them… a bond so strong that it had even resulted in the physical formation of Dawn. It was their love for each other that had made each willing to give her life in place of the other Slayer's… it was Faith's love for Buffy that had made her jump, and it was Buffy's love for Faith that had made her instinctively jump after her…

And this above all else, Buffy believed, accounted for their continued existence. For had they not jumped together, she was certain that, regardless of which girl made the jump, she would not have been able to survive it.

Both Slayers looked over at each other then, and seeing the change of mood, the slight softness and awe in Faith's eyes, Buffy smiled, stroking her thumb slowly over the back of her hand. Faith smiled back, but it was distracted as her eyes went to Giles.

"So everyone's alright… I can't believe everyone's okay…"

Her eyes darkened slowly, and a slight crease formed across her brow. Buffy didn't have to ask her what she was thinking about, for the same thought had entered her mind at Faith's words. Everyone was okay… everyone except Ben…and her mother.

A tightness spread itself in Buffy's chest, and she squeezed Faith's hand as she looked down, allowing herself time to feel her emotions. Joyce should have been there with them… Joyce Summers, as much as anyone and if not more so, deserved to be here with them. She deserved to know that they were safe, that they had stood their ground and fought back as always…she should be able to see just how far they all had come. She should be able to stand here with them now, her eyes glowing with warmth, with her love and pride for them, and share in their victory. The unfairness of her absence brought a bitter taste to Buffy's mouth, and for several moments she simply sat with her eyes lowered, letting the pain of her newly realized loss well up slowly inside her.

Even a relatively unobservant person would have made the connection of her train of thought, and Giles did. His eyes lowered briefly too hiding his own pain, and a hand went to his temple before he looked up at them, his expression once more controlled.

"Wherever she is…your mother…Joyce… I am quite sure that she sees you, that she knows and understands what you have been through," he began slowly. "I am sure she is enormously relieved for your safety… as am I. And as am I…I am sure she is very proud of the both of you. Very, very proud…"

Buffy's throat constricted a little more, but she smiled at him softly… following Faith's lead, she said nothing in reply. There was no need to…at the moment, they all understood each other perfectly well without words.

TBC


	36. Chapter 36

Bonded Chapter 36

It was at that moment that they heard footsteps past the door, and a knock sounded hesitantly. The three turned their heads toward the door, but when Buffy called for them to come in, it was not a nurse or doctor coming to check on them as they had expected. Standing in the doorway was Xander and Willow, Tara, even Anya, hanging back very apprehensively and clutching Xander's arm…

And Dawn. Standing close to Willow and Tara, holding Tara's hand, was Dawn, her eyes shiny with nerves and what seemed to be fear…

Seeing all of them standing there, their expression a varying display of eagerness, nerves, relief, shock, and gladness, both Slayers broke out into wide smiles; beside them Giles smiled as well. Finally they could see all they loved at once, at the same time, could physically see that they were okay, that they hadn't lost them. Finally they could see… and as Buffy smiled, a fierce love and gladness coming over her, she spoke up with obvious joy in her voice.

"You're here… god, I'm so glad to see you all…"

"Even Carrots?" Faith asked pointedly, but the stare she sent in the ex vengeance demon girl's direction didn't' have too much heat, and she smiled again. "Hey everyone…miss us?"

"It's…it's so good to see you guys!" Willow burst out with, and she started forward quickly, stopping just short of their beside. Like Xander, Anya, and Dawn, her eyes were scanning them anxiously, checking out the extent of their injuries, but although she clearly wanted to touch them, she was also holding herself back.

"Yeah…you two, anything for attention with this dying all the time," Xander quipped, but the same emotional response was in his eyes as Willow's as he came closer, Anya staggering after awkwardly, avoiding their eyes. "Really, you want us all to drop everything and come rushing to your sides to shower you with our concern, all you gotta do is ask us next time…"

Both girls smirked, and as Willow continued to hover near Buffy's side of the shoved-together beds, Faith addressed her in the same amused tone, her eyes glinting.

"Red, you can hug B if you want… nothing you do's gonna break her any worse than she already is."

Flushing slightly, but still smiling, Willow leaned in to hug Buffy gently for several long moments, whispering to her that she loved her. Buffy hugged her back, returning her words softly and ignoring the pain in her ribs. She closed her eyes, just savoring the moment of having her best friend in her arms. When Willow finally released her, both girls were holding back tears… and a few moments later Xander went to hug her as well.

"I'm so glad you're here," he said with unusual quiet and seriousness into Buffy's ear, and she blinked back the tears continuing to threaten, replying that she loved him too.

Faith was watching, her eyes softer than usual…but when both Willow and Xander came around to her side of the beds to hug her too, her eyes widened. Finally she said quickly, just as Tara too was drawing closer, "Damn, you really did miss me…"

Xander and Willow smiled, Xander's slightly goofy, Willow's flushed, and Tara looked at her seriously as she stood on Buffy's die, taking the uninjured hands of each Slayer into her own briefly and squeezing gently.

"Of course we did," she said softly, and it didn't escape Buffy's notice that she was for once not stuttering. "If you had died, Faith, if either of you had… then, I think, part of us would have died too. A bigger part than you understand…or that we could live with. Survive with… yes, but not live…"

Faith stared at Tara, her face slackening slightly with her disbelief at the Wiccan girl's words…but it was so obviously sincerely stated, and no one contradicted her, that she had to believe she meant it. A slow incredulous smile flickered across her face as Buffy watched, her eyes stinging slightly once more, and she replied slowly.

"Thanks… damn…thanks…"

Her words were hardly eloquent, but it didn't matter; her feelings were clear enough to them. It took a moment of glancing between all the varying smiles for Buffy to realize that Dawn was still hanging back, her face stiff… and though there was anger in her eyes, more prevalent was her fear. She smiled at her gently, keeping her voice low as love and guilt twisted itself in her stomach… for no doubt her seeming suicide, especially paired with Faith's, had devastated Dawn in a way that simply knowing of her survival could not fix.

"Dawn," Buffy said, but she could think of nothing else…what do you say after Dawn had endured what she had?

How could she make it better when she had been part of her pain? Her eyes went to the bandages on Dawn's arm and she looked back up at her face quickly, knowing that this was where Glory had cut her…

But if Faith were having such difficulties, she didn't' show it… she simply smiled at Dawn, raising an eyebrow.

"Aren't you gonna give us a hug, Dusk? Almost die and everyone gets all weird and quiet on you," she said dryly, her eyes flickering again toward Anya pointedly. Anya had been quiet until then, skittish, not meeting anyone's eyes as she stayed close to Xander… but now she raised her eyes to the Slayers, taking a deep breath.

"Uh, look… I wanted to- I mean… Xander made me come, I didn't want to… well I did want to, but the sex kind of coming, not coming here. But I needed- I was going to say-"

Faith fixed such a look on her then that Anya cut herself off immediately, her eyes widening… but as everyone glanced between them hurriedly, expecting bloodshed, Faith surprised them by talking a clear, measured tone without too much overt fury.

"Look Carrots… you're not okay with me, understand? You and what you did will never be okay with me. I hate you for it, you deserve whatever I could do to you. And I'm never gonna thank you for anything else you might've done… 'cause if it wasn't for you, we wouldn't have had to do it in the first place. But I'm not gonna kill you either, okay?"

She let a moment go by, then added as a casual afterthought, "Most 'cause I can't even stand up right now, so take what you can get."

Most of the others smiled, Willow's, Giles's, and Buffy's more like smirks; Anya looked a little confused and wary but nodded, apparently accepting.

"I can live with that…" she replied, nodding again. She smirked slightly, as if expecting to get some sort of reinforcing response from the others. When no one commented or seemed to find anything amusing about what she was saying, Anya rolled her eyes, annoyed.

"That was a JOKE, don't you get it? A pun… because she said she's not going to KILL me? And I said I could LIVE with it? It was funny!"

When everyone just looked at her, she huffed, crossing her arms. "And you people say I have no sense of humor…"

"Ha ha," Faith said flatly, and for the first time since seeing Anya she gave her a slight smirk… which was the closest thing they'd ever see her do to show a sign or relenting towards her, and everyone present knew it.

Buffy smiled, glad to see this… but when she turned her head, she realized that Dawn was still standing back almost near the doorway, her face unmoving, her eyes fixed at a spot on the wall just past her head. She had still not spoken a word, and realizing this, Buffy frowned. Was she angry at them… was she still upset?

Stupid question…of course she was upset, of course she was angry and afraid. She had watched them both jump off the tower, preparing and nearly succeeding in killing themselves, as she stood up there alone, tied up, bleeding… she had been kidnapped and terrorized, her life threatened, her arm slashed for the second time in only a few months, and she had been a witness no doubt to the chaotic aftermath of their jump. Even when it had been determined that they were alive, no doubt she had still been ridden with anxiety as they were comatose, badly injured in the hospital…

They had hurt Dawn, through their decision… though they had been trying to help her, to save her, in the end they had hurt her… and how had she not realized this before now?

As Buffy glanced over at Faith quickly, she realized that the brunette was watching Dawn too, her face creasing slightly… obviously she was worried too, was beginning to realize just how much all of this must have effected Dawn.

"Dawn," Buffy called out to her quietly, trying to catch her eye. "Dawn, come here."

When Dawn didn't respond, didn't obey, Faith's frown deepened a little more, but she kept her voice light as she addressed her.

"Hey, Dusk, don't you want to join in on the hug fest too? Almost die and everyone gets all weird and cuddly on you… don't you want to join the crowd with that?"

Dawn still didn't say anything; if anything a further tightness came across her features, and she pressed her lips tightly together, seeming now partly rebellious as well as attempting emotional control. Watching her, seeing her lack of response, Buffy felt her heart twist with her guilt and sadness for her. Dawn had been through so much… what if it was too much? What if this was the last straw, and she would not trust them again, not open herself to their love and concern again… what if they had damaged her to the point where she no longer cared?

The others were clearly concerned as well by the interaction between the three- well, with the exception of Anya, who was petting the petals of the flowers Xander had brought in for the Slayers and was frowning slightly in vague but unspoken jealousy. None of the others seemed too surprised by Dawn's reaction, however, and Buffy wondered with a greater aching in her chest if this was because she had been like this ever since Dawn was retrieved from the top of the tower. What if she was never the same with them again- with anyone? What if she was so hurt, so upset, that…

Giles, Willow, and Xander were attempting to pretend not to notice the discomfort of the three's attempt at interaction, looking anywhere but at them; Tara, however, was watching with concern, a deep pity and torn sense of loyalty and understanding in her eyes. She edged towards Dawn, subtly putting a hand on her shoulder, but Dawn ignored her too.

"Hey," Faith spoke up suddenly, her voice still casual but with a noticeable undercurrent of meaning as she looked around at the others. "Can all of you guys leave for just a minute… let us talk to Dusk a while?"

Buffy realized quickly what she was doing and gave her a quick little smile, even as anxiety rose in her at her anticipation of the talk to come. She just hoped dawn would listen… and even more so, that she and Faith would be able to figure out what to say to her to make it all somewhat better.

"Oh, of course," Giles said quickly, nodding and looking around at the others for confirmation. "We'll be nearby… just let us know…"

As the others left, shutting the door behind them, Dawn still stood exactly where she had been before, meeting their eyes with veiled wariness. Buffy swallowed, saw Faith exhale beside her, and she knew it was time to start the repairing.

"Dawn… she began, her voice slightly hoarse, "I'm sorry. I didn't want to hurt you or scare you…we just wanted to save you. And I wanted to save Faith, and she wanted to save me… we didn't think how it would hurt you to see that. But Dawn, if we had…if either of us had hesitated… then I think one or both of us would be dead now."

Buffy paused, swallowing, as she looked away for a few moments, not even liking saying the words referring to Faith's possible death when she had come so close to it before. She could feel Dawn's eyes on her now, and even though she still did not respond, she knew the other girl was listening.

"Dawn… Faith wanted to save your life… both of us did. But when I…when I saw her jump… all I could think of was that she was going to die," Buffy whispered, and she squeezed Faith's hand tightly, glad when Faith squeezed back. "If she had died… I don't think I could have lived. But Dawn… if it had been you up there, instead of Faith… if you had been the one…"

For a few seconds Buffy couldn't continue, for her throat was too choked… but after a few seconds she managed, "If it had been you, I would have done the same. I'm sorry we hurt you, we never meant to do that. But Dawn, if Faith were dead…I wouldn't be able to live. The same thing goes for you too though… if you were dead, I wouldn't be able to either."

She sighed somewhat raggedly, her hand tight in Faith's as she looked into Dawn's eyes. They weren't quite so controlled now, her posture not quite so rigid, but neither was she yet speaking…

"Dawnie… you and Faith are the most important people in my life," Buffy told her quietly, not letting Dawn's eyes stray from hers. "I love the two of you more than anything in the world… that's why we wanted so much to save you. That's why I couldn't conceive of living if one of you was gone. I'm sorry we hurt you… but I won't apologize for feeling or loving either of you in that way."

For a long several moments no one spoke… Dawn was watching them both, her eyes flickering between them, seeming to be assessing their words, their expressions, as her own remained still. When she finally spoke to them for the first time, both her words and her expression were very carefully controlled, almost indifferent.

"You got a speech for me too, Faith?"

"Well, I guess I sorta did, but B kinda beat me to it," Faith replied wryly, shrugging and giving Dawn a quick smile. "She kinda covered it all, probably said it better than me too-"

"So that's all?" Dawn cut her off, and her voice was abrupt, her words almost rude… but there was something in her eyes now, a shifting of light, that made both Slayers think she was finally bending. Faith shook her head quickly, not wanting to let this go….

"No… no, Dusk, not yet. Look, we know you're upset, that you're mad… we scared the hell out of you, so you deserve to be. It's alright…but look Dusk. We love just want you to know we love you… I want you to know," she said quietly, looking Dawn in the eye. "We're sorry that you had to see us do what we did, to be upset and worried about us…but Dusk, we're glad that you didn't have to do it. The whole time, the whole reason for that… we both wanted to keep you alive."

Dawn's eyes were definitely changing now, the hard blankness almost entirely gone… and along with it, her taut features. She was visibly loosening her muscles, visibly seeming to grow younger, more vulnerable, before their eyes… for now the uncertainty in them was clear. The battle between trust and mistrust, resentment and forgiveness, anger and relief, love and fear…all flickering across eyes that had been holding back so much, at such a young age.

Even had she been capable of getting up and going to her, of pulling her close and trying to take her pain away, Buffy knew that would have been the wrong move. Like she always had tried to do with Faith, she needed to give Dawn time now, let her make the first move on her own…

And eventually she did. Exhaling slowly, she looked down, then back up at the Slayers again, her voice quiet, controlled, but with a layer of vulnerability neither missed.

"You won't do it again."

It was more of a statement than a question, but the older girls nodded, understanding the need for assurance behind her seeming command.

"No…no, Dawnie," Buffy said softly, and Faith, ever more wary of promises, qualified for them quickly.

"Well, we're not planning on it Dusk… can't promise, 'cause we can't know it all… but we'll never do it if there's another option, a better option. Okay? We don't' want to leave you…. We just don't want you leaving us either."

Buffy half expected Dawn to protest that THEY had left HER, that there was a double standard somewhere in there, and that would have been true. But either Dawn was too tired, or too desperate for their reassurance to notice. Either way, she only nodded slowly again, lowering her eyes before bringing them back up and scanning their bodies almost shyly.

"So…so, do you hurt? I mean…"

Her eyes darted from their battered faces and bandaged hands to Faith's broken arm, Buffy's bandaged hand, to their bandaged torsos under the hospital gowns and Buffy's broken leg under the sheets. Though it wasn't' true that they weren't- both Slayers were growing exhausted, almost light-headed, and both had steady pain in most injured areas, they both shook their heads quickly to placate her.

"Nah, we're good, Dusk… five by five…"

"No, Dawnie, we're fine… Slayer healing, remember? We'll be out of here in a day or so."

Dawn nodded again, swallowing, seeming to be trying to convince herself to believe it. When she spoke again her words were tentative but poignant, soft.

"So…so if I hugged you… would I hurt you?"

Buffy's throat constricted at this, and as she felt Faith's hand take hers once more and squeeze, she didn't dare to look at her, not wanting to see whatever emotion might be in her eyes.

"You hurt us, Dawnie?" Buffy managed, her voice a little thick, and she blinked. "Never…"

"Dusk, get your ass up here already," Faith put more helpfully, and she disentangled her hand from Buffy's and beckoned with it for Dawn to come to them.

Dawn hesitated for another few moments, unmoving…but then she started forward in a burst, seeming to have been holding back from doing this all along. She didn't head for a particular side of the bed… she clambered clumsily right through the middle of both of them, climbing into the small space between both girls' bodies where the guard rails had been shoved down. Gently but with fierce passion she wrapped an arm around each Slayer's waist, burying her face into Buffy's shoulder. Buffy felt her paper gown grow damp and knew Dawn was crying.

"Don't leave me," Dawn whispered, her words tiny, barely audible. "Don't leave me again, I love you, don't leave…"

She was hurting both of them, even with the slight pressure of her arms against their ribs, but neither said so. They wouldn't have dreamed of it. Both were barely suppressing their own emotion as they stroked her back and hair with their good hands, not quite able to hug her back.

"We're not, Dawnie…we won't…"

As the two of them let Dawn hold onto them, let her release some of the emotion she had kept back, did what they could to soothe her without quite stopping her, an odd slowly spreading peace and joy became to come over them. In spite of Dawn's tears and their sadness for hurting her, their injuries and their losses, they felt that they were complete in some way, that they were satisfied…

They had defeated Glory, of course…they had saved the world…but even more so, they had saved their family. The three of them were safe, together, their bond unbroken no matter how badly abused…and somehow all that happened was verging on okay now, even right. And perhaps it was… maybe it had been fate of some kind, their destiny, starting back to the first day of each of their lives. How else could the three of them have endured so much, come so far…how else could they have been drawn together? A bubbly Californian cheerleader…an angry abused Bostonian…and a girl who was not a girl at all, a girl who had never been born…and yet here they were, together, bonded in a way beyond explanation.

Fate, destiny, luck…whatever it was, as Buffy stayed in close contact with her sister and her love, savoring their closeness, she was grateful. For the three had come full circle, just to end up in the circle of each other's arms, and she could not ask for any more than what they had.

End

Thank you to all who read…I greatly enjoyed your comments and support. I'm not sure I'm entirely happy with this- letting Anya off so easy, for one- but I wanted a happy ending after all they've gone through and this is what came out. Special thanks to Lupo669  Couldn't have finished without you. Hope everyone enjoyed.


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